


Abandoned

by Vitavili



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police & Yakuza, Badass Eiji, Drugs & Guns, FBI agent Ash Lynx, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Past Child Abuse, Power Bottom Eiji Okumura, Slow Burn, Top Ash Lynx, Yakuza Eiji
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2020-09-26 13:53:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 91,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20390761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vitavili/pseuds/Vitavili
Summary: Damaged people are dangerous… they know how to survive better than anyone else. But aren’t you the same, Ash?Who is Okumura Eiji for real?“Ash… Lynx,” Okumura repeats. His fake name from those lips sounds like absolutely nothing. Even Ash starts to doubt his existence.Ash’s nose is bleeding. The red sticky liquid runs down chin as he stares at this dark man. Ash slowly lifts his hand and reaches for Okumura’s foot on his chest.It’s not like he’ll shoot.He doesn’t even blink. Okumura stretches his back and presses the trigger.Okumura Eiji. Leader of the strongest yakuza clan that ever existed.Translations:RussianSpanish





	1. Okumura Eiji

**Author's Note:**

> It all started with this [thread](https://twitter.com/Vitavilii/status/1153005817962127365) and then just within less than a week turned into idea for the fic. I'm thankful to the core for [Justisia](https://twitter.com/Titi_Chrome) and [Daru](https://twitter.com/rainphones) for helping me to create the main plot and fill the blank spaces in the plotline! Thank you so much!!
> 
> The first chapter is just a brief introduction to the situation! As from the second one the actual thing begins. The fic will mostly focus on Eiji's and Ash's (insane and sick) relationship & and of course, fighting, guns, and drugs.
> 
> Thank you for everyone who considers reading this! Fic updates most likely once a month since chapters will get longer and longer! I'll be sure to write about every update date on my twitter, before posting it!
> 
> p.s. I know, this needs editing, but I don't think I'll have time for that any time soon :( I hope it won't make your eyes bleed out.

**If he truly is the one, who ends me,**

**Then I know my soul will meet the most beautiful death -**

**The man with the eyes of a lynx.**

Aslan ignores the sound, but it gets too annoying. The phone keeps ringing the same tune over and over again, until the man groans, turns on his back, covers eyes with the left hand, as he tries to find the phone with the right one. Just before answering Aslan glances at the caller’s name.

“What the hell, Max?” he greets him with a hoarse voice.

“Get your ass here, now. It’s important.” Like always chief sounds in a hurry.

“It’s my day off.” Aslan himself doesn’t understand why he tries to complain. If Max called, then it’s not a request.

“Not anymore. Hey! Bring those papers here, goddamnit.” Max shouts to someone on his side. Aslan sighs.

“Sure… on my way,” he mutters and ends the call, then rolls back on his stomach and covers up, until nose.

Since the day Shorter got assigned to the Chinese mafia investigation, Max gives to Aslan only a bunch of worthless cases as he would still be at the kindergarten level. Life without Shorter at the FBI is boring. 

And definitely not worth getting up early in the morning.

“What’s up?” Aslan waves from the distance when he enters the office. Max is already running towards him like an angry bull.

“I called you three hours ago!” he shouts.

“Traffic.” Aslan shrugs, without any sign of guilt.

“You live twenty minutes away from the office on foot.” Max hisses, grabs Aslan’s jacket and starts dragging towards the meeting room.

Aslan doesn’t resist, but just because Max doesn’t look like usual self. He seems distracted by something. When they’re crossing by the tables most of the co-workers don’t even glance at their side.

“Sit down.” Max points at the nearest chair, as getting ready to give a lecture about Aslan’s bad behavior. He surely thinks that he has the right to act with Aslan like this.

Aslan doesn’t rush too much. He looks around the room, enlightened only by a little bit of sun through the closed curtains. His eyes stop at a long table in the middle. There’s a document lying on the wooden surface. Max doesn’t explain anything. His face is covered by the strange shadow that Aslan has never seen before. Max is pinching the bridge of his nose with closed eyes. Aslan knows Max his whole life. When Griffin died, he took the big brother’s figure. But for the first time, Max seems so off and stressed. Which also doesn’t fit his FBI chief role model picture.

“What’s going on? Another lame drug deal between teenagers? I’m---”

“These are orders from above, I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t want to drag you into this.” Max quietly interrupts, not even glancing at Aslan. He sounds guilty.

Aslan slowly reaches for the document and opens it up. The first thing he sees – the black and white photo of a man. Only his profile. The quality of the picture is so low, that Aslan can’t even tell a lot about the suspect. The clearest things are rich dark hair and long coat. Aslan stares at the picture for a moment longer as he just can’t explain some kind of odd vibe coming out from it. On the back of the photo, there is a date and the name.

“Shit…” Ash slowly sits down. Something gets stuck inside his throat and he can’t swallow it. “Why? Why now?” his hands start shivering, even though he still didn’t hear anything about the task, but it’s enough to understand. Everything quickly clears inside his head.

“I don’t know. I tried to talk with them, remind the situation and your story… but they won’t listen. I’ll try to do something about it…”

Max misunderstood Aslan’s reaction.

“No.” he lifts the head.

Emotions take over the body as fast as a flame, and Aslan grips the photo harder between his fingers. How Max doesn’t understand? Aslan has been waiting years for this day. He knew, sooner or later they’ll assign him to this case. Because they know that only Aslan has enough skill to do it. Only he has the real reason not to give up.

“What?” Finally, Max opens eyes and looks at the blond man in front. The expression on Aslan’s face is enough for him to sigh. Max was afraid of it. Aslan won’t follow orders. He’s dragged in too personally. “Open your eyes. We should go to them together and make change their minds. Assign this to someone else.”

“No.” Aslan repeats. No way he rejects this case.

“Aslan, this is not about your revenge. You won’t succeed this way… I thought that it’s obvious.” Max tries to keep his voice as calm as possible, but the realization that he failed by calling Aslan over is already breaking its way through.

“My revenge? Mine? You’re saying like he wasn’t your partner… or best friend. Did you forget the reason why you were so obsessed with becoming chief in the first place?” Aslan laughs. The sound is unnatural and even a little bit exaggerated.

“I want justice, just as you do. And that’s why someone else, who has nothing to do with this, has to go in your place! Don’t you understand…?” Max explains patiently. He knows how hot-headed Aslan can be.

“Justice is not enough, Max. I want to slaughter all of them with my bare hands… and make them pay for my brother’s death.” Even Aslan’s voice trembles together with the body.

He again glances at the man’s profile in the picture. It’s their leader, the head of the clan. A piece of trash walking on this earth.

“You hear what you’re saying? You’re an FBI agent, Aslan, not some criminal! I may not be your brother but---”

“Then stop acting like one.” Aslan interrupts him and stands up. He is shorter than Max, but standing confidently enough to feel more powerful right now.

Doesn’t Max understand how perfectly Ash fits for this? He has a reason not to get caught. Aslan’s life goal, the reason why he became FBI agent – everything begins and ends here in that document. Whoever, after years of asking, decided to assign him for this case, must have finally come to his senses. There is no one else who can do it better. Max also knows it. He didn’t stop Aslan from joining the FBI, he didn’t hide any information about Griffin’s death. Now he doesn’t have any right to stop Aslan. 

There is an awkward silence between them. Aslan may have overdone it a bit.

Max took this five-year-old munchkin in, without any complaints, and gave to Aslan the best childhood he could. At the same time reaching for his career and trying to get over the fact that his best friend was murdered while working as an undercover agent. Max blamed himself. He should have been there. He should have changed something. Saved him. 

Either way, Max didn’t try to cover Aslan’s life in flowers. He wanted Aslan to know facts and learn to make the right decisions. That’s the reason why Aslan grew up a little bit too fast and in the way he is now – stubborn, confident and independent. 

Isn’t that what Max wanted? Wasn’t he raising a perfect little soldier? What’s holding him down now?

Nothing.

“Only gather the information, so we could have enough evidence,” Max speaks again, turning on his official chief toner. “Do you understand?” he waits. “Aslan?”

“Mhm.” He sighs.

Of course, he won’t murder them. That would be just way too easy. They will rot in prison for the rest of their lives. No one knows who of them is responsible for Griffin’s death, but that doesn’t change anything. Even if Aslan has to cross the fire, he’ll find out the truth.

Max gives up.

* * *

“What’s up, Jade?”

It’s so good to hear this voice after so long. Shorter’s tone is cheerful like always. As if working undercover in the strongest Chinese mafia clan is nothing more just vacation in Hawaii.

Jade. Aslan’s middle name. Usually, no one calls him like that, but Shorter takes privacy to another level. 

“Where’re you this time? Again on the roof?” Aslan laughs into the phone. He wants to continue this talk with some casual stuff. He wants to hear Shorter calling Yue-Lung Lee – the head of Chinese mafia – spoiled brat, complaining how hard is to act. But. They don’t have enough time.

“I found a better place. So how lame things are? Still dealing with those cute punks and their vanilla flavor crack?” Shorter doesn’t miss a chance to tease Aslan. “Come on, bro. Spill the juice.”

“I got assigned to Okumura’s case.” After his words, Shorter doesn’t answer anything. “They want me to investigate the underground ranking members and gather new information. But…”

“You want to go further, right?” Shorter makes a quiet guess. “You waited so long for this chance… shit, bro."

“I want to find out what happened to Griff, Shorter. This is everything I care about.”

Aslan didn’t have to say it out loud. They don’t have secrets. Shorter is the only one friend Aslan ever had, the only one person he fully trusts. Without thinking, they could give their lives for one another. Shorter isn’t like Max. He knows Aslan’s true intentions. The ones he couldn’t tell anyone else.

“Do you have any time limit?” Shorter tries to guess how complicated it might get for Aslan.

“No. I’ll be a part of them until I think it’s enough.” he makes a pause. “Shorter...” 

Aslan knows that there’s something more that they can’t say to each other. Okumura’s and Lee's clans have been known as the worst enemies already for generations.

“You don’t want to end this too quickly.” Shorter doesn’t make it a question. The answer is too obvious.

They both know what it means. For the first time, they’ll have to fight against each other. It’s still not clear, there are no guarantees that Aslan will get far enough, to meet with someone from Lee clan. And still, Aslan wanted to tell this personally. 

“What kind of name they gave to you?” Shorter laughs, but it doesn’t sound happy anymore. He was always too overprotective, Aslan just gave up on trying to change that.

Side by side. Hand by hand. That’s how strong their bond became in six years of working together. 

Aslan and Max were the only people who knew, who Shorter is. Chinatown gang leader, who was caught by Max and had to spend the rest of his life in jail, but then was given a second chance. Asked to become a double agent. Lead the Chinese gang in NYC, but at the same time work for the FBI. Now, who he is? Chinatown gang leader, who is working undercover for the FBI in the strongest Chinese mafia. Any second for Shorter might be his last, from any side.

“Ash Lynx,” Aslan answers, but this talk is already over. 

Aslan wants to hear Shorter’s teasing, of how stupid the name sounds. How only an idiot wouldn’t understand that it’s absolutely fake. Shorter doesn’t seem to listen anymore.

“You know about their leader, right?” Shorter asks, but Aslan doesn’t answer. What’s the point?

Does Aslan know? Probably enough. Many agents refused this case before, only because of him. And the fact that even the FBI was scared of that name as some contagious disease, is a clear sign to stop.

“Be careful.” Shorter sighs. “I need to go.” and hangs up.

What a cliché last thing to say. They don’t know when there’ll be another chance to talk again. Aslan knew that Shorter won’t be happy about it, but just like Max’s, his hands are tied up. 

_ Careful _ and _ Aslan _ are two words, which just don’t match in any situation. Among the FBI Aslan is known as the most reckless and luckiest of them all. As he always gets in deadly situations but somehow manages to succeed and stay alive. Any other would have lost their heads long ago.

* * *

Okumura clan - the strongest one in Japan - sells high-quality drugs and guns. That much anyone knows. They have two branches, one in Osaka and another one in New York City - and that’s where Aslan has to go. Getting there is hard, leaving - impossible. But like Max said - as long as Aslan keeps his distance from people that he doesn’t have to be involved with, everything is going to be alright.

Forget your real identity, stop existing as a person, who you were. Leave everyone behind. Die. And open your eyes as another. From now on there is only Ash Lynx, and he has to live with him as much as it takes. It doesn’t matter what kind of beliefs Aslan had before this time. It’s all gone now.

He meets with a man, who refuses to show his face. Every official clan member has a mark on their wrist. A sign that their existence is not a part of the world anymore. Getting a tattoo might sound almost funny, but not for clan members. They’re proud to be as one, proud to give in their souls for the highest-ranking member - the supreme boss. Ash gets a letter _ O _ engraved on his right wrist. It’s not in some Time New Roman font. Every line of it gives an antique and unique fancy vibe, as some sort of ancient rune, Ash catches himself staring at it for too long. 

The place where he gets the tattoo is dirty and smells like shit. It does hurt and takes hours to complete. As soon as the work is finished, the man runs away, leaving Ash sitting there with a twitching wrist. If he gets any disease, that will be a pretty shitty way to die.

The best part of lowest-ranking members is that they always die. Street fights, overdose, wrong deals. No one cares about them, their names and existence are soon forgotten. And there’s where Aslan belongs now. With ripped jeans and a checkered shirt, he looks like a brat and doesn’t drag too much attention, when he comes to the abandoned fish factory, for the first night. Every corner of it is occupied by punks, who pretend to be something more, but most of them are just high. 

They don’t belong to the clan, do they? Do they even know why they’re here? Only to drag police attention, that way no one will ever get near to the real deal. 

Aslan finds a place to sit, in one stinking corner and only observes. He searches for something useful, anything to hang onto. But the only thing that stands out here is Ash himself. His shirt is way cleaner than theirs. 

The next few days consist only from fighting and no actual drug deals. Soon Ash realizes that they don’t need any reason to start punching others in the face. Ash doesn’t try to get noticed. He gets kicked and one time almost chokes from the blood. He runs together with them from police and then hides somewhere in long-forgotten streets. Every day he sees new faces, which usually doesn’t last even a week in this hell. They’re like animals that no one cares about.

He has to deal with them for more than a few months, where survival is the only thing that matters. Little by little, they recognize Ash’s face since he becomes the one who survived the longest. Are they respecting him or just are scared, Ash doesn’t care. They don’t touch him, and that’s the most important. He doesn’t have to sit in the stinky corner anymore, as he finally gets a place on the stairs. This place, which they call Pit - is a center of the most disgusting things from prostitution to sharing the same needle to get their daily dose - it’s chaos, with endless screams. HIV is something that every second person has. One day they lose from 5 to 15 men. That’s normal, they don’t have any reason to live anyway. 

A few times Ash heard something about ‘cleaning’, but as he tried to keep the right mind in this place as much as possible, it was hard to understand, what does it mean. Until it actually came. 

There are four exits in this square-shaped building, and all of them open at the same time. At each door, at least two men with loaded machine guns appear. And then they just start shooting. 

Slaughtering everyone like pigs.

Ash instincts wake up from the slumber after a long few months, adrenaline rushes through his veins so fast, that Ash almost wants to laugh. He doesn’t want to hide and then continue this vegetation. This is the chance. Dozen of men fall on the ground like flies and the place drowns in blood.

“Those fucking cockroaches… they’re a disgrace to our clan. I can’t fucking believe… how they even breed?” an annoyed voice speaks loudly and someone else sighs.

“Shut up, let’s just finish and go back. We have to report to Alex.” the other one answers and Ash hears steps coming closer.

He’s hiding behind the column, but it’s obvious that everyone else is dead. He hears some random shoots like they try to make sure, that the work has been done clearly. Ash holds his breath for a second and when there is only a small gap, until the man will notice him, left, jumps on him, kicks in the stomach and with a quick move takes his gun. The man obviously didn’t expect to be attacked.

Everyone else aims at Ash, but his gun is pointed at the man with brown hair on the floor. It doesn’t seem that others want him to be killed. Ash notices how clean their clothes are, compared with his dirty outfit, their shirt looks almost luxurious. They don’t fit at all in this Pit. Came here only for ‘cleaning’.

“You fucking… trash.” the man on the ground groans, when Ash steps on his side. Their eyes meet for a second. The man is young, maybe even a bit younger than Ash is, but his eyes are full of hatred, while Ash almost forgot within those months what it means to feel at all. 

“You’re not in a position to talk like that.” Ash grins and leans a little bit forward. Other men could have started shooting anytime, but their friend is still in danger. He must be important. 

“You… you... have… the mark.” the man on the ground notices when Ash’s sleeve goes a little bit up. “He has the mark!” the man shouts louder and everyone lets down their guns at the same time. “Why you didn’t tell us from the start?”

Ash has to think of something. And quick. 

“As if you have listened.” he shrugs and the atmosphere suddenly changes.

Ash lets the hand down and helps the man to stand back on his feet. Others surround two of them, and suddenly Ash feels like a long lost child who got founded by his brothers.

“What are you doing here?” One of them asks. 

They don’t hide the surprise, that someone who has a mark, ended up in a place like Pit.

“I was told to watch over the situation.” Ash slowly gives the gun back. He wants them to see that they can trust him.

“And we were told to clean this mess. No one mentioned that there is an actual member here. We could have killed you! Damn it.” The man, whose voice Ash heard at first, seems almost frightened of this fact.

“But you didn’t.” Ash keeps his voice pissed off as much as he can. Even though this suicidal situation might end any minute if they only get any kind of suspicion. 

It’s impossible to believe, but they look at Ash with clear and open eyes, as if they were really worried. One of them even gives his jacket for Ash. This is some kind of concept that Ash still doesn’t understand, but it seems that they will believe him, even if Ash tells that the earth is not a planet. What is this? Is it because of the mark? 

After living in this hell for months, this kind of attitude seems almost fake. Ash keeps swearing inside his head, even when they leave everything behind and one of them opens the back door of a black jeep. Suddenly Ash remembers Max and Shorter, but he has to push them away. This either will bring him to somewhere or will become an end. 

All of them seem relaxed and freely talk inside the vehicle, there also one going in front, and another one in the back. They talk and laugh as if they haven’t killed a bunch of people just a few moments ago. The one, which Ash kicked before, asks for his name and presents himself. Ash can’t believe it. They don’t seem surprised about ‘the new member’ coming out from nowhere. They don’t even ask any questions that just real members of the clan should know. The mark is key to every door and for Ash, this kind of trust seems unreal.

After an hour or so, they stop in front of a five-floor building, which looks more or less like an apartment block. Ash looks around, they are still in New York City, but he is not sure in which borough. It’s quiet around, but from the further distant Ash hears street noise.

“Hey, Ash.” someone calls. “Ash!”

He turns at the man, who holds the door opened, everyone else already went inside.

“It’s just strange to see this after months spent in Pit.” Ash quickly smiles and the man nods.

“Yeah, I don’t have any idea how you managed to survive in that mess… ask Skipper for clean clothes… and for the love of God, take a bath. You stink.” he goes inside and Ash looks again at the side, where lights are coming from. 

He can just run away right now, back to the FBI, tell this location and go back to his life as nothing happened. That would be enough for them. But not for Ash. He turns around and walks into the building. 

He really does stink.

Skip happens to be an African American young boy with short curly black hair and big eyes. Ash doesn’t even have to search for him, as he ran towards Ash first.

“Peter told me, that they found you in the Pit! That’s just insane, how you ended up there? I have never seen you before, are you from Cain’s group? You do stink though…. showers are that way.” His voice is so cheerful, just like any other kids, and Ash wonders if he is in the right place.

Skip keeps asking and talking, but he doesn’t even wait for Ash’s answers. He is young and energetic, Ash just doesn’t want to think that he also might be a part of drug deals. Skip doesn’t leave the bathroom, while Ash is taking the shower, but it doesn’t matter. It’s a blessing after months to feel hot water under the skin and somehow makes every sense sharper again. 

Wherever he is, it must be an important place, maybe the headquarters. From the inside, the place looks like a dormitory, with private and common rooms. It’s clean and there are no drunk or high punks in every corner, Ash sees a few women passing by, but they don’t look like the ones, who sell their bodies for a heroine or something. 

He gets a clean pair of underwear, jeans, and a shirt. The feeling is just as he came back home from a long trip. Even simple sandwiches which Skip brings for Ash tastes heavenly. 

“Was it hard not to use drugs, while you were living in Pit?” 

Ash stopped counting Skipper’s questions, but this time the boy doesn’t continue. Skip waits. Ash glances at Skip’s tattoo on the wrist, it’s exactly the same. Everyone here has one, but back there in the Pit no one did. 

“It was… the time there just stops and you don’t even know what are you doing anymore.” for the first time in months Ash speaks honestly, and it somehow so relieving. He can’t explain why it’s so easy to be with Skip. He doesn’t annoy Ash, maybe because he’s just a kid.

“But… why did you agree to go there?” Skip blinks. 

“It’s a long story. If it’s over, then it doesn’t matter anymore, right?” Ash shrugs and lays back on the wall. Skip said that Ash can live in his room, as he has a spare bed until they figure everything out.

Again, Shorter probably would just laugh and say that Ash was born under some really damn lucky star and that his guardian angel is wasted. Ash covers his face with a palm and quietly laughs.

_ Griffin. Brother. _

He’s so close. 

* * *

No way in hell he was.

This group, to which Ash belongs now, is a part of the clan. But soon Ash learned that it’s still far away from everything he was seeking for.

They have never met the clan’s head and they never will. The group living in New York deals with drugs, while the group in Japan works with guns. Everyone here knows what they have to do and how. Without any doubt, they’re proud to be a part of Okumura’s clan, even though they don’t have any idea how the boss looks like. For them, he’s like a God, their religion. They must do anything that they're asked for. Because all of them strongly believe that orders come from Okumura himself. 

But who knows for real? Ash feels too skeptical to believe it so easily. 

There are three groups of them in New York City. A man named Alex manages the place, where Ash lives in now. As Ash learned later, Alex also has his boss and that person may be somehow related to the clan’s head. There’s a strict hierarchy that no one ever dared to break. As long as these guys do what they are asked for, they’ll have shelter, food and everything else they need. And the most important - they’re a part of this huge family and support each other’s backs at any cost. That’s explained why they haven’t shot Ash. If you have the mark, it means the boss Okumura accepted you. Now you’re one of them, no matter what.

“Unless you betray the clan, of course.” Skip explains to Ash. 

Skipper never asks why Ash has so many questions. He enjoys feeling superior at least once, and Ash pretends that he lets him do so. 

That kid got attached to Ash pretty quickly that way creating a safe space for Ash to be. As he was always with Skip, no one dared to question Ash’s sudden appearance. And for Ash’s surprise, no matter how much he wanted to destroy this clan, he was incapable of feeling hatred towards Skipper. Maybe because he was still underage and this kind of life surely wasn’t the choice he made knowing every terrifying detail. Ash imagined him searching for shelter and wandering in streets and this was the best that he was able to find. Ash didn’t want to destroy Skip. He wanted to help.

“They cut the finger, right?” Ash keeps a calm face, he knows about yakuza at least this much.

Skipper loudly laughs, his childish laughter sometimes really is scary.

“Not in our clan. They cut everything from here.” Shipper points at Ash’s mark on the wrist. “You know, they don’t want to leave any evidence that you ever were a part of this. The boss, he wouldn’t allow it.”

“Boss…” Ash grins as always when someone mentions this title with an enormous hint of respect. “I’ll meet him one day.”

“Huh?? Was there anything in your morning coffee?” Skip grabs the cup from Ash’s hands across the table and tries to look for any clue of a drug. Ash rolls his eyes. This reaction was expected. There is no way Skip or anyone else dares to believe in this kind of miracle.

“You’ll see,” Ash repeats, as a stubborn child making a bet.

“I won’t. No one will. Not even Alex, Cain or Bones have seen him. You know that boss personally interacts only with his three main assistants?” For the first time, Skip looks honestly surprised by Ash’s question. 

That’s when Ash decides not to say anything. Even someone naive like Skip can start suspecting him.

“Of course I know.” Ash shrugs and takes back the cup from Skip’s hands.

He doesn’t even have a clue who those three assistants are. FBI didn’t have much information about the clan’s structure from the inside.

Ash’s ignorance could have become the end for him, but there was something that no one of them knew. Not only Ash had a purpose for staying here until the end, but he was also considered as one of the best agents of this century for a reason. He knew how to survive, how to fight and risk everything, but still, win.

Through years of dealing with street gangs and various criminals, Ash learned one or two things about drugs. So when he saw the chance, Ash took everything in his hands. He firstly started from learning by walking together with others into various meetings as an assistant and then taking his own customers. It was nothing like he had seen before. People buying drugs were rich and most of them even well known in society. Already after a few weeks, Ash could have arrested dozens of people that no one dared to suspect.

But Ash wasn’t Aslan anymore. He became a part of criminals as well. After a month he forgot how he had to starve in the Pit, with those low ranking drug addicts. Here everything was different. Luxurious, high quality almost delicate, as if they were representatives of some bank. At their apartment block, they were wearing casual clothes, looking like students in dorms, but for official meetings, everyone had black fancy suits. 

There were three groups of them. Cain’s group finds customers, Alex’s - sells the goods and Bones’ group has another mission - to deal with those who don’t pay or are in debts. 

As Ash learned during his firsts days here sellings were going smoothly. They get an address of the customer, meets him, takes the order and leaves a letter for Alex with the number of drugs they need. The Goods usually come after three or four days and then at the end of every week, they give all the money for the group accountant. That’s as far as they had to know. Where drugs come from, what happens to the money - it was none of their business. Also, Ash hadn’t met Alex personally yet.

At first, Ash was barely visible. He took only a few customers and pretty quickly learned how to manipulate them to get more orders, then instead of taking new ones from the list they had, Ash started to search for people himself. He on purpose convinced them to make larger orders than they were able to pay off. 

Skip warned Ash, not to take too much and look after himself. But only while doing everything, Ash was able to feel that he’s moving towards something, not only going in circles.

“I told you…” the doors open and Skip comes inside their room. 

From the first day, Ash stayed in Skip’s room and nothing has changed. In more than six months everyone got used to Ash’s and Skip’s friendship, as they’re almost all the time together. And deep inside Ash is glad that he still doesn’t have to think how to end the life here. He doesn’t want to leave Skipper.

“What you told me?” Ash lazily turns on his side. Today he has a free evening so he decided to take a well-deserved nap. Since yesterday’s fight with a problematic customer, Ash was annoyed.

“Not to try too much… not to break down the system.” Skip makes a long pause. “Alex wants to see you. I just met him in the hallway. Go down to the common room.”

Ash suddenly sits up. He knew it will happen sooner or later. Took them long enough to notice him. Ash smiles widely, while Skip looks at him with worried eyes.

“You’re some kind of suicide…” Skip sighs, as Ash only winks for him and leaves the room. Poor Skip, of only Ash, could tell him at least a little bit of reality.

Ash expects to see some people in the common room, but there is only one, sitting on the couch. Alex has brown hair and wears a simple blue jacket - Ash wouldn’t even notice someone like him in the street or even in hallways.

“Ash, right? The one who likes breaking the system, right?” Alex lifts the head, his eyes are open. He seems too soft to be in charge. 

“No, sir. I just like to have control of things I’m responsible for.” he steps a little bit forward.

“To be honest we noticed this from the beginning, but… I had some curiosity about the end of it. You’re not the first one who tries to do so… sadly, everyone else who tried to play heroes is dead now. You know that clan is a family, right? This kind of system was created for a reason.” Alex continues the lecture for Ash, like trying to talk with a naughty son.

“Yes, but I didn’t die and I don’t intend to, sir.” Ash nods for the man, standing just a few steps away.

“I know. After seeing your fight yesterday it became clear. Those were some nice moves, and your customers' order a lot. No matter how hard I try, I can’t find a reason to be angry at you.” he sighs with a polite smile on the face.

“But…?” Ash begins. There is always a but. Ash broke the rules, they must send him to the boss. They just have to. How they don’t notice that Ash is just too good?

“But nothing. I have some work for you, Ash.”

If someone half a year ago had said that managers of Okumura clan will become one of the closest friends, Ash would have called those people insane. But not anymore. This life wrapped Ash in so badly, that sometimes he even started mixing it with reality. Is he a drug dealer and manager assistant at the strongest yakuza clan? Or undercover FBI agent?

* * *

“No, really where this kind of blessing came from? Without Ash, I would be so doomed. Let’s drink for that!” Alex raises his fourth glass of beer.

“Waaaaait….” Bones with a hand gesture for bartender orders another drink for himself. 

Ash yawns and leans back in his chair. On Friday evening, they’re sitting in the local bar. It became a usual thing, since the day Ash started helping group managers to organize things and deal with the ‘biggest customers’. 

“Let’s just say that if not the boss, Ash wouldn’t be with us. Boss accepted him and gave us this blessing. Let’s drink to the boss!” Bones agrees with Alex and adds a little bit of spice to the whole thing.

“I won’t miss a chance to drink for that. To Boss Okumura!” Cain suddenly wakes up with his strong voice and three of them raise their glasses. A moment later Ash joins in.

“Yeah, to the boss.” he agrees.

During this whole time - almost a year now - no matter how hard Ash, tried he didn’t hear anything new about Okumura. Anything that he still wouldn’t know. _ Are they good at keeping secrets? Or maybe the boss is a mystery for everyone? _

It doesn’t seem that Okumura himself does much, neither he shows up in New York. Ash is sure, that if he comes to States, everyone in the clan will know. _ How can they admire someone, they haven’t even seen? Only heard about him? Is Okumura even that scary? _ Ash doesn’t believe it. He doesn’t feel anything positive towards that man. Only pure hate - that’s one of the few things that haven’t changed in a year.

“Ash, do you know who is Blanca?” suddenly Alex asks him.

“Blanca…” Ash repeats. He surely heard this name. Somewhere. Somehow. 

“He’s the second assistant of the boss. Responsible for everything that is happening in New York.” Bones demonstrates with his hands how big Blanca’s responsibilities are. 

Ash blinks and leans forward. Finally, this drunk talk became a little bit more interesting. 

“He wants to see you, Ash.” Cain finishes. Ash finally understands that they were holding this for the whole evening. “We had a meeting with him this morning and told about you. He asked you to come tomorrow.”

“Come where?” Ash forgets that he has to be interested in the purpose of the meeting. Maybe Blanca is not very pleased by some low ranking member, who jumped into the top position.

“To the main house. Our driver will get you there tomorrow at noon.” Bones gives a drunk smile for Ash.

“Am I in trouble?” Ash finally asks something smart.

All of them get serious within a second. They can’t lie for a family member.

“We don’t know. Let’s hope not.” Cain lifts his glass to drink for that. 

When next day the driver lets Ash next to huge black gates. Firstly Ash doesn’t even understand why the driver let him out so far from the house. It’s not even visible from where Ash was standing. The house itself, which looks more like a castle is at the very end of the path, surrounded by the beautiful nature, with a lot of flowers, rare trees, and freshly cut grass. It's modern, fancy and rich. Now it’s clear where all the money goes.

Ash wears his green shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. Way too poor for this kind of place, but who cares. It takes more than five minutes to reach the front huge door. Two bodyguards wearing suits are standing next to them. Ash looks around and almost laughs. Does it seem like anyone would dare to attack this place all of a sudden? Is it really necessary?

“Hey, I’m here to meet Blanca.” Ash quickly shows them the mark on the wrist, before they decided to jump on Ash. They’re all beefy and taller, but Ash bets that he’s faster.

“He’s still not here. Wait outside.” One of them speaks without any intonation.

“Why can’t I wait inside?” Ash asks, but neither of them answers. Some inner voice, which somehow sounds like Shorter, warns Ash not to come closer to them if he doesn’t want to get shoot.

_ “Boss wants to leave in an hour. Make sure that everything is ready.” _

Suddenly Ash hears a voice from the radio in the guard's hand. Boss?? Could it be that he’s also here…? Now?

“So really, no?” Ash pretends dumb.

“Get lost.” one of them hisses and Ash sighs and walks back. 

He goes around a bit, then turns to a nicely done path surrounded by colorful flowers. He walks slowly, almost lazily. Bored. But as soon as the path turns around the corner, and he can’t see the guards anymore, Ash jumps over flowers and quickly runs towards the window.

He is ready to smash it but for his luck, the window opens pretty easily from the outside. Ash gets in.

The inside is even more amazing than the outside. Every detail on the floor, walls, furniture and the structure itself is painted with a perfect taste and quality. Ash quietly walks a little bit further. The place just looks too spacious and clean for anyone to live in. Marble stairs are leading to the second floor. If someone is alive in this utopia, that person has to be there.

“Who the hell are you?” strict voice comes from the right and Ash quickly turns his head. For a moment he stares at the official black suit and confident posture.

Is it him? Some inner sense tells that he isn’t. But Ash instantly notices a gun shape under his jacket. The man with dark hair and eyes walks towards Ash fast and seems in a hurry.

He has to pretend dumb, and maybe Ash will get lucky like always. Okumura must be somewhere here.

“I’m Ash Lynx. I came to see Blanca.” Ash quickly lifts the sleeve and shows his mark for the man. It always works as an identity card. 

“Right, okay. How did you pass through the guards?” He raises the eyebrow. Strangely, it doesn’t seem that the mark works the same for him, as for others. The man is still too cold.

If Ash tells the truth, then he really will be busted.

Suddenly another serious-looking guy also with a black suit shows up next to the stairs on the second floor and saves Ash from the need to answer.

“Sing, the boss wants to see you,” he tells and leaves. 

_ Boss? Okumura? _

“Go and wait for Blanca outside.” Before leaving Sing glares at Ash and walks towards the stairs. 

Of course, Ash doesn’t stay behind, he waits just for a second, then follows Sing and catches up to him on the second floor. 

“What are you doing?!” Sing quickly turns around and hisses. He grabs Ash’s clothes and presses him to the wall. “For your own sake, go out.”

Ash smiles. _ Who is this guy? _ He doesn’t seem dangerous at all. If the boss is also like this, then Ash will laugh his ass out. Everyone is being fooled. Sing’s anger is almost cute. Like he wants to protect Ash. _ From what? _ Ash is a member of the clan and did pretty good work. Doesn’t he deserve a bit of appreciation? 

“Stop, I won’t do anything… just---”

“Leave. I’m asking you nicely one last time.” Sing interrupts. He lets Ash go and quickly walks towards one of the doors. 

He seems in a hurry. Most likely he can’t be late when the boss calls him. Ash follows, and when Sing notices Ash, only when the doors are already opened. He quietly swears, but it’s too late to change something. Ash walks in together with Sing.

The bathroom is as huge and luxurious as it can be expected from this kind of royal house. There’s a lot of extra space, but an enormous size bathtub is right in front of them. And as soon as Ash sees man’s back, turned at them, as he sits in the water, everything else around loses the meaning.

It’s him. This time for sure.

Okumura gets up slowly and gracefully like a dancer. As if only with that move he intends to rule the world. The view in front of Ash’s eyes flickers like an old movie tape, he sees it frame by frame. Strong but delicate back. Transparent drops of water running down his skin - they create paths through flawless body lines and every part of it is like a separate piece of art. Smooth skin from the back of his neck, shoulders and right arm until the waist and left thigh is engraved by a massive tattoo of a golden red dragon, with flames and flowers of intoxicating beauty. When different types of muscles move, it seems that the dragon comes back to life. Ash holds his breath from those strict and excellent lines made from nothing more than ink - a heavily realistic masterpiece on the human body. The handmaid covers Okumura’s shoulders with a thin luxurious, almost transparent silk bathrobe. The material slides through the skin lightly and covers the king of dragons under the darkness. Ash still sees its flames showing up under the sleeve of the man’s right wrist. They end exactly on the place, where Ash has the clan mark. It suddenly heats up.

Itching. More than ever Ash wants to get rid of it. Before the man sees it.

Okumura turns his head to the side, just a little bit, almost lazily. His rich hair falls on the forehead carelessly, but dark brown eyes framed in long eyelashes are cold as steel. They don’t feel, they don’t care, they’ll ever understand anything about the fear. Okumura glares at Ash, as he sees something that no one else does. Ash still stands frozen behind Sing’s back.

“Sir.” Sing steps forward, covering Ash from Okumura’s sight and Ash finally breathes in again. He doesn’t understand what just happened or why. He wasn’t prepared to meet the death himself. “Sir, he’s just trash. Came here by accident. Already leaving.”

It’s a clear hint for Ash to run away as fast as he can. Sing tries to speak clearly enough. But Ash doesn’t move. He tries to control shivering when the anger rises from the deep inside. He's not fascinated. It’s pure hate.

Ash can’t see him through Sing’s back, but he hears how the man steps from the water.

“Let him come closer.”

He has a rich, silky tone like a devil himself. The deep voice declares that the world is under his feet. No sign of confusion, no mercy. He gives permission, it’s not an invitation. Ash steps in front and avoids Sing’s hands as he tries to hold him back. To warn.

From first glance, Okumura doesn’t seem so harsh and cruel like everyone else thinks. The appearance might be misleading.

“You wanted to see me?” Ash asks calmly. 

Okumura’s bathrobe is tied up, but it still clear that his front is painted equally good to the back. They stare at each other, for a moment. Okumura’s eyes stab right to the core, but it doesn’t seem like he looks right at Ash. To his surprise, it makes Ash feel pathetic, almost worthless. 

Okumura steps in front and they’re almost breathing into each other’s mouth. Bubbles of air coming from his mouth are torrid. Ash hates this man, that’s how it has to be, that’s why he went through so much. Everything for this moment.

_ Then why his head is totally empty? _

“Kneel.” Okumura quietly breaths out. It’s higher than any law. Anyone would crawl for him.

The first time in his life, Ash can’t do anything about the situation he is in. He needs to survive, to reach further. Knees are bending, and Okumura follows Ash with his eyes down. The man stares at Ash from above with empty eyes. His expression doesn’t give in any emotions, but somehow it seems like he’s laughing inside from all this power that no one can resist.

When Okumura without any rush walks behind Ash, he stares at the handmaid next to that huge bathtub. She stands so quietly, that her presence isn’t even important in this space. Ash breaths in, when he feels something pressing him down. He can’t see, but there is no mistake, that it’s Okumura’s foot.

Ash shivers just a bit from this humiliation as he leans down until the forehead touches the cold floor. It’s not enough. Okumura’s foot slides down Ash’s spine until the neck and painfully press Ash’s cheek to tiles. Ash tries to breathe as slow as it’s possible in this situation, but the anger only grows. 

_ Soon. Very soon Okumura will be the one kissing the floor. Only in jail. _

“Gun.” Okumura’s voice isn’t interested at all.

Obviously, those words weren’t meant for Ash. Since his head is turned to the side, Ash sees how Sing’s taking out the pistol. For one second it seems like Sing is about to say something, but he doesn’t. Sing doesn’t even glare at Ash, his eyes are pointed at the wall in front. 

Okumura skillfully takes the gun with his long fingers and aims at Ash’s head, then pulls down the safety. 

“Name.” He turns the head a little bit, like trying to see from which angle Ash’s brain would splash out better.

“His name---”

“Ash Lynx.” 

Ash interrupts Sing before he finishes the sentence. _ Why Okumura speaks like Ash wouldn’t be here? _ Ash is not so fragile as Okumura thinks. After Ash’s words, Sing’s jawline tenses up.

_ What? It’s not like Okumura will shoot for real. _

“Hands behind the back.” He commands this time directly to Ash. 

Again this strange feeling. 

Whenever Okumura speaks to Sing, Ash would heat up from hatred for that man. But as soon as Okumura speaks directly to him, Ash’s head gets completely blank. He has to do it. He can’t resist. This moment nothing matters. Only this deadly voice.

Ash obeys, bending hands behind the back and placing wrists next to each other. Okumura’s foot is still on the back on Ash’s neck and suddenly he leans forward putting more weight on it and Ash groans, but somehow manages to stay still. It’s hard to breathe or swallow. Saliva runs down through the corner of Ash’s lips, when he tries to catch air, like some fish at the shore - last minutes before its end. If Ash moves - Okumura will break the neck. If he doesn’t - he’ll choke. There is no way to escape.

The view is getting unclear and blurry, from the lack of oxygen, but Ash is not ready to lose his conscious so easily. He tries to focus eyes on Okumura’s move, who slowly brushes through Ash’s hair with the pistol. Almost gently.

Then he breathes out and kicks.

He kicks hard into Ash’s face, most likely breaking the nose. Ash quietly gasps and falls on his side. He intends to cover the face, but Okumura doesn’t give him a chance for that. He rolls Ash over with the leg and steps on his chest.

It feels different. Maybe because Ash sees his face better. Okumura is heavy, but not from the weight side. The absolute power of his is almost transcendence. Ash can’t explain what’s going on inside his head, but finally, he understands what others had in mind. At least a bit. 

This man is a God. Only his existence makes the world spin.

No matter how hard Ash tries, he can’t make himself think differently.

“Ash… Lynx,” Okumura repeats. His fake name from those lips sounds like absolutely nothing. Even Ash starts to doubt his existence.

Ash’s nose is bleeding. The red sticky liquid runs down chin as he stares at this dark man. The blond man slowly lifts his hand and reaches for Okumura’s foot on his chest.

_ It’s not like he’ll shoot. _

The man doesn’t even blink. He stretches the back and shoots.

Okumura Eiji. Leader of the strongest yakuza clan that ever existed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE SCHEME OF OKUMURA CLAN.  



	2. Price

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holly heavens, forgive me for those mistakes which I have no strength to correct, for my lateness and for turning my baby into the devil. The last one I don't regret.

_ He reaches for Griffin with the right hand, with another one pressing a little plushie bunny to his chest as hard as he can. The big brother catches Aslan’s fingers lightly and leans a little bit forward. Aslan’s hand is still so small, it disappears in Griffin's palm. _

_ “I don’t… want you to go. I’ll be good, I won’t listen to your talks again... I promise… Griff…” the boy snorts, even though he tries to stay strong. _

_ It’s his fault. _

_ If he doesn’t whine, then Griffin might stay. After mother and father left, they have only each other. What will Aslan do if brother leaves? This time it’s not a trip to a supermarket. _

_ Aslan doesn’t understand everything, but he knows that brother’s work is hard and dangerous. It might take weeks, months…. yesterday he overheard Griff talking with Max. This time it might take years. _

_ Years. _

_ “Aslan… it’s not your fault. You have to stay strong and look after Max while I’m gone, alright?” _

_ “Hey! Who is looking after who?” Max complains come from behind. _

_ “When you’ll be back? Soon? Right? Promise?” Aslan is shivering. He can’t hold back tears anymore. _

_ Aslan moves closer, and at least for the fourth time, Griffin has to hug him. He brushes over Aslan’s light hair with his lips and smiles. This goodbye is going forever. _

_ “Soon. You won’t even notice.” With his last words, Griffin's voice crashes. Now it’s a promise, he’ll have to keep it. _

_ Hugging brother feels so good and homie, the feeling that Aslan couldn’t feel for years after he left. It feels safe and he maybe can do it again. Meet him. _

_ Even if it means, that Aslan is not a part of this world anymore. Aslan looks up, but he’s alone in the room. It’s dark, someone is standing behind. They are not touching, but the tension it’s so strong that suddenly the air sinks. Aslan tries to look back, but there is no point, he knows who is there. _

_ “Ash… Lynx.” _

_ His words and deep voice breaks down every last precious memory that Aslan had. He smashes and turns it into dust. Brother was here, but now he’s gone. That last time Aslan saw him, Okumura took away everything. His clan. No matter who did it, everyone. Every last of them will pay. _

“Griffin!” Ash suddenly jumps in the bed, but immediately has to lean against the wall from the pain. 

His right shoulder is burning inside and outside. After Okumura shot, Ash doesn’t remember much.

“Who's Griffin?” a curious, but a little bit worried voice asks and Ash slowly turns his head. 

Skip is sitting on his bed, just in front of Ash, with big wide eyes, waiting for an answer. 

He’s alive? How he ended up here? Did Okumura casually drop him out next to this place? 

Ash slowly touches his nose, it might be a little bit swollen but seems in the right place. Stomach feels a little bit sick, but it can’t be helped after having a dream about that beast.

“You said his name at least four times… also, you had a fever, so I changed sheets. Alex helped me." Skip tries to smile, but unsuccessfully. "You know, you were really lucky that those guys didn’t kill you!” he finally shouts worried.

Skip like always talks too much, so there is no need to answers his questions. 

Ash stares at him for a bit longer, until realizes the meaning of the boy’s words.

“What do you mean… gang?” he repeats with a bit hoarse voice. 

The pain in the shoulder is getting stronger with every second.

“Blanca found you beaten up by a gang in the street… he called Alex…” Skipper doesn’t hide his surprise. “Don’t you remember any of this?”

“What the… gang? I was shot by Okumura!” The heat inside raises so fast that every last of his bones seems to be set on fire. Because of this adrenaline rush, even the pain doesn’t matter anymore.

“What Okumura…?” Skip blinks. “You mean the boss???” he almost screams, then nervously laughs. “Do you still have a fever or something? It’s… impossible, Ash.”

Skipper’s reaction just makes Ash even more anxious. _ He doesn’t trust him. Why would Ash lie about something like this? _

“Yesterday, I went to the main residence and Okumura was there. He shot me. You think I’m lying?!” Ash stands up, he feels ready to run back to that place and make Okumura explain everything. 

_ That freaking coward. _

Skip keeps silent. Is it because Ash suddenly shouted at him, or is it because he thinks that Ash is going insane. 

“Ash… boss probably is in Japan, not even here. Not even mentioning the fact that he would never meet someone like us. Ash… why you’re so obsessed with meeting him? You are even ready to make up such insane thing…?” Skip's voice sounds full of pity. “You have to stop, please. You never met him… and you never will. Forget about the boss. I’m begging you. He's not someone we can reach.”

“What the actual… I’m going back.” Ash gets up, even though his legs are barely holding. 

Every part where he kicked hurts. Ash still feels his presence on the skin and those dark eyes, scratching his soul out. _ It’s annoying as hell. _

“Stop.” Skipp doesn’t get up, but his voice, for the first time, seems almost cold as ice. "I’m sorry Ash, you can’t leave. Blanca dismissed you from any activity for time being. Also, you need to rest-”

“I don’t need any rest! What do you mean dismissed? How can he stop me? I’m a member of his clan for more than a year! And the things I did-”

“Sorry, Ash.” he interrupts. “I don’t know the details. I was told to keep you here. Whatever you have done, they’re not happy about it…”

“You don’t believe me, don’t you?” Ash slowly sits down. He could just run away and do it in his way, even Skip won’t have a problem to stop him, as Ash's legs feel like jelly. 

His fingers are shivering, he looks at them and tries to stop, but the body won’t listen. Ash can’t clearly understand this feeling, but he wants to shout. It’s strange not to be able to control himself anymore. 

“Believe? That you met the boss and he shot you? Ash… don’t you think that it sounds too funny?” Skip sighs, turning his eyes away.

“Funny? To meet him?”

“Let’s say you did meet. Funny that he left you alive. Boss Okumura or any of his guards would have killed you instantly. You can't get near him.” Skip eyes are way too serious for a child. He’s not joking.

Ash heard that as well. Okumura Eiji doesn’t feel any mercy… And yet, he didn’t kill Ash. But it's a reality.

For some reason, Okumura chose only to injure him. _ Why? Why that son of a bitch didn’t go all the way like he always does? Was it because Ash behaved obediently, or something else got into his sick mind? _Ash had to know what that person thinks. 

“You must be hungry, I will get something from the kitchen. Ash, please don’t go anywhere, okay?”

Skip moves towards the door and before going out, he glances at Ash. His eyes are clear. Skip knows the truth. But he won’t admit it. Because that’s how he was told. Ash sighs and nods. 

* * *

Time goes slowly. From the member of the top, he suddenly fell on the very hard bottom. Ash feels like a prisoner, going only to the bathroom with the Skippers company, but he has to be patient. Skip said that sooner or later Alex will explain everything to Ash. _ When? _

It’s been almost a week, but Ash still keeps having those disgusting dreams about Okumura. Calling Ash's name. He is not even sure that it’s Okumura's real voice anymore.

Ash gave more than a year for this clan. More than a year he didn’t have any news about Shorter or Max. He did everything he had, to get into this as deep as he could. And it took just five minutes to ruin everything.

_ What they are waiting for? Why Okumura didn’t end him? _ It was a huge mistake, next time Ash will end him.

The wound on the shoulder still hurts. Ash is sure that, even though the bullet was taken out nicely, it’s gonna leave an ugly scar. Ash is lucky that he can still move the hand.

The door opens, just when Ash puts a new layer of bandage on his shoulder. There is only one person who can enter like that.

“I hope you brought something to eat…” Ash speaks as he stares at the mirror, but the reflection gives a new hint.

The person standing behind doesn’t even fit into a glass. Ash suddenly turns around and sees a tall man with a muscular built. Ash opens the mouth for a moment, just because he has never seen such a big person before. Even with a healthy shoulder, he is not sure that he would be able to defeat this giant in a fair match. 

The man closes the door behind with a restrained smile and steps forward. He has dark eyes and long hair tied into a ponytail. He didn’t come here just to have a nice talk. Ash looks at his tattoo on the wrist. The letter _ O _ is framed between fancy ornaments that go up and hide under the white sleeve.

“Hey, Ash.” He keeps the same confident expression. “Finally we met, I’m sorry it took such a long time,” he speaks almost honestly, which doesn’t match to this scary appearance at all.

His expensive suit and perfect posture. Ash tries to form the answer, which is obvious enough.

“Blanca…” 

“You are not holding back, right?” he quietly laughs. “Neither you have patience… last time it didn’t end up that well.” Blanca makes a short pause. “We don’t accept troublemakers like you to our clan. Why are you here?” 

Blanca’s words make this room feel even smaller. He knows everything until the last detail. Ash wouldn’t be surprised to learn, that Blanca let him go to the second floor on purpose. Just to see if Ash is crazy enough to barge into Okumura’s private space and almost get himself killed.

Ash doesn’t know what to answer. _ It was a mistake? He was just curious? He just wanted to be accepted by the boss for all those efforts? _ Every one of those sounds only like a dumb excuse. Ash doesn’t reply. Blanca seems just too clever to be fooled that easily. 

_ Shorter, that might be the end. _

“Right, you keep silent. That’s how it works here.”

Ash is sure that his eyes are not that calm as his expression. Blanca, of course, notices this, but only keeps a polite smile on his face. 

“I honestly don’t know if you’re lucky or not, but the boss wants to meet you again. Until then you’ll be working under my watch.” Blanca continues after a short pause. 

He waits for Ash to start shouting and lose control. He wants to see that man who had enough courage to stand in front of Okumura. Ash reads all of this in Blanca’s face.

Ash can’t allow himself to give that kind of satisfaction to another monster. Some strong sense, which has never disappointed him before, tells that Blanca might change in a blink of an eye.

Ash is not fragile, but now he doesn’t have a choice. Just for a bit more. Ash finally feels that he is so close to finding out the truth. He doesn’t care what happens after that.

_ Okumura wants to meet again? When? What for? _It’s not something he can simply ask. Ash already did a mistake, which almost cost him a life, he can’t allow making more of them. Ash has to be smart. 

Ash takes a deep breath and lets his shoulders down, Blanca seems satisfied.

* * *

Ash comes back home for sleeping and gets picked by Blanca in the early morning. Working under Blanca’s control might sound like a massive upgrade for some who used to live in the Pit, but Ash most of the time feels like a prisoner. He must go with Blanca to every meeting, but he can’t participate like an equal member. He sits behind and tries to understand the strange language they are using. It’s Russian. Blanca isn’t his real name. Ash never had to deal with Russian mafia before, so it just opens his eyes, how much he still doesn’t know… how far this clan is reaching. Blanca is fluent not just in English or Russian, but also Japanese, Chinese, German and French. With every one of those meetings, it feels like he wants Ash to see what he is dealing with. It may be a chance to learn, but Ash feels like there is another reason why he’s here. 

One day sudden thought occurs his mind. _ What if drugs are not the only thing they’re selling? _

After a few weeks, a different car from the usual one comes to pick him up. And it’s not Blanca who waits for him. 

Dark-haired man, holding his perfect posture and expressionless face. Sing. Okumura’s bodyguard. 

“Where is Blanca?” Ash glances at the car but doesn’t move forward. He wasn’t warned, he couldn’t prepare for this.

_ How he will control the hatred towards Okumura if he sees that face now? _

“Take this and cover your eyes. Boss doesn’t like it when someone looks at him.” Sing doesn’t even bother to greet Ash. He gives him a dark silk scarf.

“If he… I mean, is boss inside the car?” 

Sing takes a deep breath and quickly pulls out the gun. He aims it at Ash with the same calm expression.

“Cover your eyes and get inside the car,” he commands and at the same time pulls down the safety.

Ash’s itching shoulder reminds him to keep the mouth shut. He might not have a third chance. Ash still stares at Sing, while raising hands and until the view disappears. The material didn’t seem so thick, but it’s pitch dark. Ash holds his breath for a second. Instantly after losing the vision, his hearing became sharper. Sing comes closer from behind and after a few long seconds, he opens the door, grabs on the back of Ash’s neck and makes him lean forward. 

During past weeks he got used that his fingers won’t stop shivering._ Was it because of injury in the shoulder or just from hatred? _

But from the moment Ash sits in the car everything changes. Suddenly his muscles almost get numb when the body calms down. This sensation takes over every cell until the last and lungs fill with air. 

It’s not a coincidence. He is here. His cold presence, rich smell, and slow quiet breathing. It hits Ash’s body in the way he never could have imagined. Instead of waking up another wave of rage, Ash suddenly feels in the place he should be. Even though no one else than Okumura is responsible for the hole in Ash’s shoulder. 

The wound starts painfully pulsating.

This moment dragged him in so much, that Ash didn’t notice when the car started moving. Okumura is sitting as far from Ash as he can in this vehicle. And he still hasn’t said a word. It’s almost suffocating. Ash needs to hear.

“Where---”

Ash doesn’t even finish the sentence when he feels the metal taste of blood in his mouth. Just then the pain hits the lower part of the cheek and lip. Whatever Okumura used, was sharp enough to cut Ash’s lip. The blond man halts for a second and then grins, slowly licking the blood off. _ Really? Does Okumura think, that pain might scare Ash? _ Danger and risk is something that makes him alive. Ash wants to take off the scarf and finish everything with a few moves. But obviously, he won’t. And Okumura knows it.

When the car stops, Ash automatically reaches for the door handle, but they’re locked. He turns the head just a bit and freezes when hot breathing almost lays down on the face. _ He is close. Too close. _ It’s burning and itching and Ash wants to do something so badly about this crazy feeling. 

Ash could do a lot of things to Okumura, as his hands aren’t tied up. During his work as an FBI agent, he has been in several even more dangerous situations but always managed to make it through. But not now. Ash is free to move, to strike and even hurt him. But he can’t do anything.

Suddenly he feels something small and round on the lips. It’s tasteless, but not candy. Dealing with drugs for more than a year, couldn’t help Ash to guess what kind of poison Okumura wants him to take. Ash doesn’t intend to open his lips.

“Take it.” 

It’s impossible. Ash can’t resist Okumura's voice. He can’t and hates the man even more for that. Everything from deep down stops working, Ash feels pathetic when he lets Okumura push the pill deeper. It’s not pleasing in any way, but if Ash could choose to have this few seconds lasting touch from him, he would do it again. 

Scarf falls, but Ash can’t move. From the second the pill melted inside the mouth, he lost control. He can see, hear, feel and think, but the body doesn’t belong to him. 

Okumura is already gone, like what happened just now was only Ash’s imagination. The door opens on his side and Sing drags him out like a doll with a quick move, then the other two men grab on both of Ash’s sides, holding the weight. 

Okumura is standing wearing a long black coat just in front of massive expensive looking doors made from glass. 

“Don’t resist. And you might walk from there alive.” Sing quickly murmurs into Ash’s ear, then walks towards the clan Head.

_ Where are they? _ Ash can’t see the surroundings, he is being carried by two gorillas inside. It’s a hotel. The most luxurious he has ever seen. More than that, the staff at the reception desk looks at Ash like he’s transparent. As they can’t see or don’t care.

_Is it normal?_ _Does this place belong to Okumura? How much Ash still doesn’t know? _Other than them, Ash doesn’t notice any people.

He ends up on the 30th floor. And when the elevator's door opens, they instantly appear in an enormous space. Not just a room it’s a full apartment in the size of a house. This place has the same vibes as Okumura’s residence.

They drag Ash to one of the chairs, next to the window, and before sitting down, just for a moment, Ash notices city lights and people like ants running in the crowded street. It’s happening in the middle of the city and nobody knows.

The only way Ash can look is in front. Sing stands next to a long bar, with an empty face holding hands behind his back. Perfect soldier. Okumura appears from another room, walking in slowly, holding the glass of dark red wine. Smoothly tailored black suit and dark grey tie. His jaw is lifted with absolute pride, cold face. His eyes, even in the daylighted room have the same darkness as his existence. But with black hair combed back there is no better match. Ash hated to admit, that Okumura has overpowered him completely. It only grew his lust to end that man. 

Ash just needs to find a chance for it.

“So much hate… I’m impressed,” he speaks without intonation, softly pressing the glass to puffy lips.

Ash wants to scream and then shake off this disgusting expression from his face. Even if Ash’s life is in danger, he can’t stop the negative waves. He doesn’t intend to give up until the last moment. 

Okumura sits down on the huge armchair and crosses his legs. 

He is just a few meters away. Ash could drop forward and stab with the first thing he would be able to grab. The rage, the chance to avenge, and even the strange body reactions towards this man - everything takes over Ash, and he suddenly jumps on his feet.

The victorious smile curves on Okumura’s face as fast as the light. He is surprised, but at the same time seems pleased. He slowly bites the lower lip and turns his head to the side.

The punch into Ash's stomach makes him fall back on the chair, but the adrenaline rush freed him from the drug paralysis. Ash doesn’t intend just to sit back anymore. He grabs on the same guard's hand, who just hit him and glares at Okumura. With a fast move, he kicks the man, at the same time avoiding the punch coming from another one. Then he turns around and smacks the man. The way to Okumura is free, Ash leans forward, but the gun is already aimed right to his forehead. Ash's and Sing’s eyes meet. Bodyguard's expression is priceless. Somewhere in between the anger and astonishment. 

_ Let him shoot. Freaking coward. If that’s the only thing he can do. _ Ash is sure that there is no single trace of fear in his eyes. On the other hand, Okumura doesn’t seem very entertained by Ash reactions. Through Sing’s shoulder, he glances at the guards behind Ash and they both grasp Ash again.

It’s endless. Okumura didn’t say a word, neither to start nor to end. He just watches how they make a mess of Ash, like some boring reality show. Both of the men don’t give Ash a second to breathe, even when he starts choking on blood. Seems that his will not to give up makes them only stronger. Every time Ash tries to resist, they respond with more violence.

Finally, Ash somehow grabs on the man’s shoe as strong as he can. He lost the track of time long ago. It’s probably lasting for a few hours at least, or maybe only minutes. He may have passed out. Ash is not sure. For whatever reason they dragged him here, Ash is not letting it go so smoothly as they expected. 

Instead of another punch, he someone starts lifting him and Ash is back on the chair. They tie him down for no reason. Even with the strongest will, Ash is incapable of moving anymore. His face is bleeding, he can’t even properly see with the right eye, the head feels heavy and it burns everywhere from his legs to the chest. Ash quietly groans, trying to lift the head up. 

Okumura is standing in front of him.

“Leave.” He finally gives them a blessing of his voice. “You too, Sing.” 

There is no chance they could resist, even though at first Sing seems like he is about to do that. But in the end, all three of them walk into the elevator.

Ash is not sure if he's still in the right might, as he hears Okumura listing names. One after another, he is giving Ash some information, which he can’t follow. 

“.... Skipper.” 

Just when Okumura ends the sentence on this name, Ash’s wakes up. These were names of the clan members. Lower-ranking ones. And Okumura, he is perfectly aware that Ash’s is close to that boy.

“You think I wouldn’t find out?” he's coming towards Ash. “I know every single member. But you. How did you dare to come into _ my _ clan? How you dare to feel worthy to be a part of everything that belongs to _ me _.”

For the first time, Ash hears him talking for so long. He hasn’t noticed that slight accent in Okumura’s voice before. English is not his first language, but he seems to control it well. 

Ash may only think of how deep Okumura's tone is.

No matter what Ash says won’t make any difference. Okumura stops just in front of him and raises the glass with the wine. _ The same one? Maybe it’s not the first glass of his. _ Ash's mind is just not working in the right way. He looks up, loudly breathing through his mouth when the first drop falls on the face. Okumura doesn’t stop. The red as blood liquid splashes onto Ash’s face, mouth and even eyes. He loudly chokes, trying to move away, but he’s tied up too hard.

Okumura suddenly drops the glasses and presses one of his feet between Ash’s legs, pushing the chair back, until it loudly leans on the window glass.

“Dauntless as you make stupid decisions, but… not so fast to think of a clever answer.” 

Okumura still controls his expression, but finally, Ash notices the same hate in his eyes. Their feelings towards each other are mutual.

Ash opens his mouth a bit more, the blood taste is mixed with wine and it’s like a poison to the exhausted body. As if Okumura himself isn’t toxic enough. Ash’s body feels like one huge wound, but he was ready to pay this kind of price for the victory in the end.

_ Okumura is angry, it seems he is itching to end Ash’s life, but he must find out the truth before that, right? Or there is another reason? _

He slowly takes out a short knife from the back of his belt and just then Ash starts thinking of how far Okumura can go. It looks like this man is craving to hurt someone and satisfy his sick needs. He's obsessed and not stable at all, that’s why everyone is so afraid of him. Okumura has the power to end anyone’s life and he doesn’t know when to stop. 

Ash imagined him always having easy rich boy life, during the weekend trips killing a few people who seemed too pathetic to live. Of course, Okumura himself was still a child when Ash’s brother got killed, but he is no different. People's lives don’t seem to have any meaning for him.

“Don’t look at me with those wild eyes. I’ll scratch them out. Do you think those trips with Blanca were for fun? I’m selling you in pieces. I’ll make you disappear from this world, as you never existed, Lynx.” 

_ Boss doesn’t like it when someone is looking at him. _

No matter what kind of creepy things he says, Okumura has this expressionless face, as if every word would just practice for a final speech. As if those would be nothing more than words. But Ash knows he’s not lying. 

Now it makes sense. Why he participated in those meetings with Blanca, foreigners, who kept glancing at Ash, and the languages he couldn’t understand.

As soon as Ash turns his eyes away, Okumura leans a little bit forward and for Ash’s surprise he cuts off the tape, which was keeping some hands tied down. Ash feels so numb that he can’t move, even though it’s might be his only chance to take Okumura.

_ This may be his only chance. _

Ash suddenly leans forward using the chair and with free hands grabs on Okumura’s clothes. The man doesn’t let any sound out, when they loudly fall on the floor, but finally his expression changes. For Ash’s huge disappointment, Okumura doesn’t look scared or surprised. Flames in his eyes. Ash has never seen anything like that before… he is not sure what kind of name he should give to them.

For a moment of confusion, they both lay on the floor as Ash stares at Okumura from the top. The blood and wine drop on Okumura’s smooth cheeks and run down like tears. The knife fell down next to them. Ash could grab it and stab Okumura as many times as he wants, but he can’t take eyes off. _ What’s this hot and odd feeling? Hate? It's the hate, right? _

“Lee clan…” Ash whispers. “I want to eliminate them…” 

He didn’t plan to lie. He had to take his revenge, not thinking about the future. But these words just slipped out from Ash’s mouth before the action.

“Boss!!” Suddenly the loud scared voice kills the intense moment between them. “You peace of…”

Sing grabs Ash and pulls him away from Okumura, at the same time one of the guards opens the window and another one takes over Ash from Sing. Everything happens quickly and a moment after that Ash’s head is already sticking out. He holds the scream inside the throat and lets out only a gasp when eyes face the height of the 30th floor. The wind is strong and freezing, but somehow refreshing - washes the pain away. Ash’s heart almost jumps out of the chest. He trembles like a fish on the shore - the last second before his death.

“止まれ.”

Even though the loud sound and chaos inside the head, Ash hears. The language he never had a chance to meet before. Okumura's mother tongue. Ash was sure that in English that voice sounds rich enough. He was wrong. 

No matter what, Okumura’s voice will always reach him. And Ash hates it. He hates, that for some reason he couldn't finish Okumura off. _ Is it justice? Because Ash works for the FBI? _

One word works like a spell. Ash is again dragged into the room and he falls on the floor, instantly kissing the floor when someone steps on his back.

“But boss… he…” but Sing doesn’t finish the sentence. Is it because of Okumura’s glance or an action, Ash isn't sure.

When they roll Ash on his back, Okumura is standing next to him gazing with those dark eyes as if they were a way to the abyss. He’s so empty inside, Ash is sure of it. Okumura has blood and wine stains on his fancy white shirt, but the face seems clean. 

This time bodyguards are not in a rush to leave, but they didn’t have a right to return. Slowly one of them takes his feet off Ash and they walk towards the exit. Sing is the last one, before closing the door, he stabs Ash with his eyes.

Last time it was a moment of the adrenaline rush. Ash doesn’t feel like he could attack Okumura again or take him down by surprise. He moves just a little bit and leans on the sofa breathing hard an irregularly.

“Talk.” 

Okumura continues as nothing happened. _ What’s with this man? _

_ Talk? He gives Ash a chance to talk? _

“Someone… from Lee clan killed my brother and I want to avenge them. I heard that Okumura’s… _ your _ clan can help me… yes, I selfishly entered it. But I don’t regret.” Ash may be risking everything. Not only because of this lie, but also for not feeling sorry about his mistakes. But he wants Okumura to see how serious this topic is. 

“So?” 

Ash gets a feeling that if Okumura could laugh he probably would. He doesn’t give a shit about someone’s else revenge.

“And I know the information… that might help to destroy them completely.” Ash continues, watching as Okumura softly touches his lower lip with the thumb.

_ Is that a habit of his? _

“Like…?”

“If I tell you… you’ll just kill me, right?” Ash doesn’t want to risk. Also, he doesn’t have any information that could be useful for Okumura. 

Finally, Okumura smiles. Just half of his lips and it last only for a few seconds. He leans down to take the knife from the floor and comes closer to Ash.

Usually, Ash is very good at reading other people, but this one is impossible. 

_ And also. _

No one else would make Ash act this way, but as soon as Okumura stops next to him, Ash's body feels like pulled up with a magnet, even through the pain.

Once Ash’s is kneeling, Okumura grabs on his chin. Just now Ash notices that the man is wearing delicate black leather gloves. Okumura keeps eye contact as he painfully lifts Ash’s head higher.

“Either your body belongs to me, either I’m selling it in pieces.” He almost softly presses Ash’s lips with a thumb. “What’s your price, Lynx?”

_ What is this? A proposal to work with Okumura? Why Okumura would trust him so easily? _ Maybe he has other reasons too. Or maybe he's not just clever enough.

_ His price… is not something that Okumura will be able to pay. Ever. _

Ash closes his eyes and he could swear he feels how Okumura almost softly brushes through Ash’s lips with the thumb again. His energy, presence and even scent are so suffocating, that even Ash can’t refuse. 

“As long… as I have my revenge, I don’t care about the price.” Ash murmurs silently, suddenly feeling dizzy. The view starts getting blurry.

“If you ever dare to run from me… if you ever dare to betray me… you know how it ends.” Okumura’s hand slowly slides down on Ash's shoulder and makes him raise the hand. Until Okumura is holding his wrist.

_ They cut it off. That’s the price you pay for leaving this clan. _

“I’m gonna rip off your skin…” 

Ash looks up, when he feels a cold metal pressed to the skin, Okumura doesn’t look at Ash, he stares at the tattoo, even a little bit too long. _ Maybe he realized that originally it wasn’t made by his people? _

“Smart people are fascinating… but they also tend to break the rules. And I hate that. As long as you have this on your wrist... Everything… is _ mine _.” he presses the knife to the skin, just next to tattoo until the droops of blood appear. 

Ash doesn’t even flinch, he already feels too much pain in the entire body.

There is another reason why Ash is so weak towards Okumura. But Ash can’t name it, he can’t give a shape for it. 

_ The room is spinning too fast. _

“Yes…boss.” Ash breaths out almost without thinking. 

Okumura again has the same expression as he is looking at nothing more than pathetic trash. Is he disappointed that Ash finally agreed? Maybe there was some sort of beauty in his residence. But Ash didn’t give up, he just found another way to walk around.

* * *

Ash opens his eyes as always waking up from the same nightmare about his brother, but it’s dark everywhere. Is he back? Or still in the same place? He can’t clearly understand. It does hurt, but he is not tied down or locked. The material seems soft, as some sort of bed or sofa. Ash gets up holding back the groan from the pain. If he is alive, means his lie worked pretty well.

“Morning.” somebody sighs and Ash flinches. Now that his eyes got used to the darkness he finally sees a figure sitting on the armchair in the corner. Ash knows the speaker.

“Alex… have you been sitting there in the darkness? It’s a little bit creepy, don’t you think?” Ash lays down again closing his face. It is just Alex… he is probably in the common room.

“Did I scare you?” he silently giggles.

Ash doesn't answer. He lied to Okumura Eiji and has no idea how to fix it. That’s just a miracle that he's not dead yet. For a few moments back in that room, Ash was already sure that there is no way out.

“So you met the boss. It wasn’t a lie.” Alex speaks again after a pause. He looks more interested than scared.

“He is not fun, believe me.” Ash grins. Somebody had to bring him back here, but he doubts it was Okumura. Even though Ash is still able to feel his touch. 

He needs to take a shower. Ash can’t explain what he was feeling back then, but now again there is nothing more than pure hate.

“Why the boss should be fun? He’s damaged.” Alex says it so casually that it becomes clear - if Ash is a part of the clan he must be aware of this. 

“You mean…. he damaged because of... what?” Ash sighs.

“Damaged people are dangerous… they know how to survive better than anyone else. Aren’t you the same, Ash? I could tell you as soon as I heard that our guys found you in the pit. Also, I know, the boss left you alive.” Alex answers but avoiding the real answer.

“I know the information he needs.” Ash shrugs. It’s obvious, and if Ash doesn’t give to Okumura something soon, then there will be no reason to keep him here.

“What kind of information boss wouldn’t be able to get without you? Do you think he has any sort of limits? I’m sure he didn’t plan to kill you form the start. Everyone in the clan knows, that you are too useful. But also the rules is something he created and by disrespecting them, you are trying to become someone you’ll never be able to. At least not here. By entering the clan, you chose this destiny. Just be in your place, Ash. That’s all you need to know.” he talks slowly and clearly. 

Ash is barely holding from laughing.

“You’re here to give me a lesson? Or watch me over?”

Alex stands up, walks closer and then takes out the gun. Ash freezes. That is something he wasn’t expecting. Especially not from this man. They were drinking together just not long ago. _ Why he is aiming at him right now? _

“You may not be in danger. But because of your mistakes, our group is suffering, my men are in trouble. If you cause me difficulties ever again, for your selfish desires, I will be the one here to end you first. Are we clear?”

It’s not a joke. Ash doesn’t want to believe, that somebody else has to take the place in the coffin instead of him. Alex had to pay for Ash’s mistakes. Ash holds his breath. That’s a hierarchy. 

He nods without any words and Alex smiles, as nothing happened.

“Now go to the room, Skip is going crazy. Blanca said, that he’ll contact you when there will be a need. Until then you’re going back to the usual work.” Alex turns around to leave and stops just next to the door. “Also, let’s grab a beer next week!”

Not only Okumura took the last pieces of Ash’s pride, but he also turning people away from him. He really is moving them around like chess.

Only after a few days, Ash finds a way to get some time alone. He couldn’t stop thinking about this for some time already. But as now he mentioned to Okumura about having information on Lee clan, Ash can’t postpone this call anymore. Ash was afraid of this moment. What if after he hears Shorter’s voice, Ash won’t be able to act anymore?

He finds a place to sit near a local park and enters the number. He may not have a lot of time.

_ What if Shorter for some reason changed it. Maybe he won’t pick up? Maybe… he is not even a part of this anymore. _For more than a year, Ash was gone, and for the first time, he feels that there is no escape. He needs Shorter.

While waiting, Ash unconsciously touches his wrist with a cut that Okumura left.

“Jade…” Shorter doesn’t make him wait for too long. His voice is full of relief. Ash is the only one who knew this number. And Shorter still believed that one day he will call. “Aslan? Please tell me it’s you. Am I going insane.”

Ash has the same question for so long. And his name. Aslan. From Shorter’s lips, this sounds so unreal.

“Shorter… I’m in trouble. I’m in a huge mess.” Ash admits not only for his best friend but also for himself. Finally. Out loud.

“Fuck... it’s really you. It’s good to hear from you, man. Shit… what trouble? What do you need? I’m still undercover so…”

Ash could only listen to Shorter. Swearing, talking shit or just repeating the same all over again. His voice is so homie, safe. It is such a different vibe from Okumura’s.

“I need information about the Lee clan. That’s the only reason I’m alive. Because Okumura thinks that I know something…” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll get him down, as soon as I have a chance. But you need to trust me, Shorter.”

“Wait. Do you want to tell me you saw Okumura?? Personally??” Shorter almost raises his voice. If Ash starts speaking about it, then there will be no end. He only hopes that Shorter still trusts him enough. “Okay… so it’s serious. What do you need?” There is no doubt in his voice. That’s everything Ash needs.

“Something that only a member of the clan would know.” Ash is not sure himself. It feels like no matter what he learns, it won’t be enough for Okumura.

“Lee… he has people inside Okumura clan. In Japan. I’ll send you the names.” Shorter speaks slowly, but confidently. 

Ash doesn’t have a right to disappoint Shorter. He can’t. This kind of information is exactly what Ash needs. So even Okumura has traitors about which he still doesn’t have any idea. 

“I’ll try to find something more useful... Can I call you back to this number?” Shorter adds.

“Yeah… Shorter, it’s so good to hear from you… you can’t even imagine.” Ash tries to be formal, but in the end, he can’t hold back. It seems that it’s been centuries since the last time they saw each other. It hurts to the core to think of it. Ash will never betray Shorter, no matter what.

“You’re reading my mind… and you, are so close to your goal. But please… if there’s gonna be a need… run. Just run away… Aslan…”

“Would you run, Shorter?”

“If I knew that it makes you feel better… probably.” he silently giggles.

“Liar. I need to go. Thank you, brother.”

Ash hangs up and for a moment longer just glares at the screen until it lights up with a message from the hidden number. It’s a list with five names.

Just then Ash realizes, that if Shorter has this kind of information, that means he is really close to the clan boss. To Lee himself. If that’s the truth, they both are walking on the same thin thread.

* * *

Without Okumura’s sign, Ash decided not to interfere again. If he needs the information, the boss will come for it, Ash was sure. He looked at the list that Shorter sent few times, but couldn’t remember any of those names. The New York group didn’t know much about the ones working in Japan. But Shorter would never tell him something, what he was not sure about.

Ash life got back almost the same as it was before he met Okumura for the first time, he had to deal with the most important clients and only Blanca’s appearance in daily routine made it clear that what happened was not a joke.

“Here is the report for this week.” Ash carelessly drops the file on the table. But stops before leaving. “By the way, boss… was he planning on selling me? 

Blanca only silently laughs.

“Well, you do have pretty eyes.” he only shrugs, making Ash roll his eyes and slam the door. 

Blanca’s office was on the other side of the city from Okumura’s residence, which made Ash think that the day when he first appeared at that place and met Okumura, was not a coincidence. He may have been playing with Ash for some time already. And the fact that the piece of shit was always one step ahead was the most irritating of all.

Slavery might sound like a long-gone term, but it still exists. Deep down, in this exclusive world of mafia Ash saw them. Different skin, eyes, and hair color… different body types. They were following the rich ones, kneeling next to them, touching them in front of everyone without any shame. Clear eyes and surrounded by mist - Ash is sure that until this moment he saw everything and enough. And just thought of him becoming like that made want to throw up. Ash better would be dead than selling his body to someone else.

In a place where most of the meetings are held, they have different rooms, halls and even torturing cells. Usually, the group of deals is responsible for that, but as Ash is doing work for everyone, not only his group, he's not a rare guest. This day wasn’t an exception.

“I will deal with this. Go.” Ash opens the door.

A man kneeling on the floor and begging mercy is always a pathetic view. One of the members of the Deals group glares at Ash but leaves. He is a new member of the clan. No wonder he doesn’t try to resist. Even old members usually don’t say anything to Ash, especially after the news about him meeting Boss Okumura spread around. Ash wished he could tell them, what kind of strange psychopath Okumura is, but no one will believe him anyway. Same as some random person would intend to prove that God doesn’t exist to a believer. 

“You are late for three weeks with the money. Yet you come here and ask for more.” Ash comes closer to the man, with trembling hands. Looks at the fancy-looking costume turned into a mess. Hopeless drug addict. 

Ash had to meet with Alex today, but instead of it, he came here. These three weeks were a mess inside his head. Constant inner shivering and dreams, where he hears Okumura’s voice. He would do anything to make him shut up, at the same time Ash doesn’t want to admit how badly he needs to hear it again.

_ He is the one becoming an addict. _

“I will…. I will… return it. Really… You know I always do. I just need a little bit of it. You know… just a bit.” the successful businessman kneeling in front of Ash and beginning for a small dose of death.

Ash knows that he’ll return, and probably the double amount. His business is still stable, so it’s a possibility to get more. No new member would know, but it’s not the first time for Ash. He wishes to let out his urge on someone, but this is not the person. Ash has to agree. 

“Lynx, come out now.” Without any invitation, the door opens and Ash wants to give a deadly glare, but he freezes.

_ What Okumura’s bodyguard is doing here? _

“I’ll come in a second…” he slowly answers. “I need to finish the work.”

“Which part is of “come out now” is unclear for you?” Sing sounds like he's so done with Ash.

“Great. Then he is coming with us. Get up.” Ash grabs on man’s suit and makes him stand. 

Sing doesn’t agree, but he also doesn’t resist. So that’s probably Ash win. If Okumura’s wants to see him now so baldy, then he has to deal with this too.

Once they walk outside the sound comes from nowhere. Short and clear gunshot. Ash flinches and lets go of the man’s body when it becomes numb and starts dragging him down. For a second longer, Ash stares at the dead body just next to his feet and then looks up. It’s not Sing, but he also doesn’t look surprised.

It’s another bodyguard next to the black Tesla. This street is dark, narrow and empty. No one ever will find out about this.

“Why?” Ash opens his mouth. Sing knew it will happen and didn’t do anything.

“Because you didn’t listen to me. All of this is your fault. Because of you, he is dead, and a lot more will be.” Sing calmly explains. 

So that’s true. They don’t let anyone close to the boss unless he wants that. Everything makes sense now. Sing is a good actor, after all. Ash believed that Sing tried to stop him from going to that bathroom.

Okumura is inside the car. Ash can’t tell how, but he just knows. Even without Sing ordering around, he already heads that way. Legs move on their own.

Nobody tells him to cover eyes or anything, so Ash opens the door and goes in.

It’s that disturbing silence inside again, all muscles relax and head becomes clear. Shivers stops. He could think of million ways how to end this situation, but for a second longer, Ash wants to enjoy the end of the chaos inside him. The rich smells enter his lungs almost fulfilling everything he ever needed. And Ash wants to die because he knows how wrong it is, at the same time his mind and will are so exhausted.

Despite the peace inside, there is a huge tension like in the middle of the electromagnetic field. Even though it’s gloaming, Ash sees Okumura sitting just on the right, touching his lower lip with the thumb and breathing deeply. Shadows make his features even sharper.

“This is the information I have… I might get even more in the future.” since silence makes this space to shrink, to the point where Ash hardly remembers how to breathe in, he finally speaks. 

The man unlocks his phone and opens the message, then moves it towards Okumura. He doesn’t even glance at the side. _ Does he care about it? Or is there something else? _

Finally, Okumura turns the head, but only to look at Ash. The phone doesn’t drag any interest. Instead of moving back, Ash finds himself also leaning forward. As this works stronger than any alcohol or a drug, Ash admits, that he would give anything for a single touch of his. Even if it’s full of pain.

This time Ash doesn’t move, when Okumura touches his lips with fingers. He’s wearing gloves again, but it doesn’t matter. Ash feels it deep enough. It’s like Okumura reaches all parts with a single touch.

“There is one thing you need to do.” he’s not trying to speak quietly. There is no reason for him to make this moment even more intimate. 

Ash has to ask but doesn’t. What kind of effect this man has on him, there is no explanation. _ But until the last minute, Ash will try to convince himself that it’s hate, for the sake of revenge, for his job as FBI. Of course. How else. _

Okumura puts something in his other hand. For one moment, his both hands are touching Ash and everything else just slips away. It’s like someone else is in control of this body,

_Is he like that with everyone? Giving out the same energy?_ _No wonder why people can’t look him in the eyes._ It’s almost deadly, the amount of poison Okumura is carrying in his existence. What a disgusting man. That’s what Ash wants to think, but he’s trapped in this spider web just like everyone else.

_ Why every inch of his body feels like on fire? Why just thought that Okumura might be acting with someone else the same way makes Ash feel worthless? _

_ Touch me more… make me hate you even more. _

The doors suddenly open and Sing’s hand drags him out. It’s like a limited time with some popular idol is over. He can’t be with God for too long.

“Go. And clean the mess you made here.” Sing points out at the dead body next to the door and then goes to the front seat. 

Two guards are still behind Ash, they stand there as walls even when Ash rolls his eyes and just walks inside the building. He calls for a few men and tells them to get rid of the body, then walks into an empty room and closes the door.

From the moment Okumura gave the paper, Ash was squeezing it between fingers. It’s a note with few names, that Ash has never seen before. They all sound Chinese. Then there is an address and time. Nothing more. The lack of instructions annoys Ash. He looks at that printed paper for some time. Okumura didn’t even bother to write a few things himself. This is a test for Ash to find some Chinese people? Does it have to do something with Lee clan? It must have. Shorter might be again the one who can help, but when Ash wants to take the phone and call him, he realizes that it’s not inside the pocket. He left the phone in the car.

The phone is empty though. Only Okumura’s clan member names on the list and a note with people that Shorter sent before. But not having a phone suddenly feels strange, like Okumura has some sort of evidence against Ash.

Ash has a week before the date written on the paper. He needs help. 

Ash was sure that this task will take from him everything, but actually, it’s not that hard. Three men that he has to search for are members of the Chinatown gang. No one important, not too hard to catch. Ash guess that they might be in debt, but as Okumura didn’t tell him what to do, he makes sure only to knock all three of them down and bring to the place on the day.

“What kind of deal is that, if you need three Chinese hostages?” Peter asks Ash when he stops the car in front of the building. 

Peter- one of the members of Ash’s group. He helped him to catch them without asking unnecessary questions. But he also has a limit.

“Don’t worry, that's orders from above.” Ash shrugs and opens the door to go out, but Peter stops him.

“I checked their background. These three are clean. They don’t have anything to do with drugs or debts.” he lowers the tone without any need. No one is listening anyway.

“How about Lee clan?” 

“What?” Peter quickly leaned back as if Ash said some every bad curse word. They don’t talk about Lee clan with each other, the risk is too high. 

Ash just goes out.

Few other members, from their group, helps to drag bodies inside the building. It does look like a normal hotel, even though the staff doesn’t pay any attention to the bodies. Also, the place seems unnaturally empty and a little bit too luxurious for this kind of district. 

“Ash… Lee's clan is not a joke. What are you doing? Seriously, Alex couldn’t be the one who approved this. Why would you-”

“Seriously, Peter. it's alright. I know what I’m doing-”

“Do you?! We have a contract with Chinese mafia! We can’t touch members of each other's clan. If either side will break the rule… the war starts!” 

For the first time, Peter starts shouting at Ash. He seems terrified of consequences for these actions. 

“Then you and others better go.” Ash doesn’t look at Peter’s side anymore, but the door closes and he is alone with three unconscious men in the huge empty meeting hall.

When the door opens and Okumura is the one showing himself first, Ash almost opens his mouth. This time a fancy suit is changed by black jeans and shirt, which fits his body shape just perfectly. The long coat covers his shoulders as a shield. Okumura walks in with the same confidence as always, ruling every corner of this world. Sing comes after him. Just two of them. No one else.

_ Ash wishes for Sing to disappear. _

Okumura’s bodyguard pulls out the gun and aims to the man on the floor.

“Wait! What are you doing? You were the one who told me to bring them here. Are you just gonna kill them without asking anything first?!” Ash doesn’t understand this kind of game at all. _ Why now? Why them? _

Sing glares at Ash, but Okumura completely ignores him. He brushes through his thick hair with long fingers and then suddenly grabs a gun from Sing. The move was so quick that neither Ash nor Sing were able to react on time. Okumura doesn’t even blink, he shots exactly three times and all of the bullets go through men's forehead. 

Okumura lets the hand down and gives the gun back to Sing.

Ash stands there as he just lost his tongue. _ Why? _Why Ash had to go through all this trouble, just to watch how Okumura kills three people without actual reason?

“Stop!” Ash shouts as both of them turn around to leave as nothing happened. “Explain! You can’t just…”

He runs after them to the hallway. Sing is standing next to the door on the left, most likely Okumura is inside. He gives Ash a sign to go in.

“Do you know Shorter Wong?” Okumura asks the same second as Ash enters. 

This is an office room, with a huge wooden work table at the back, sofa and glass table in the middle. Until now Ash can’t figure out the architecture idea behind Okumura's owned buildings.

Ash stands still. He didn’t expect this question at all. _ Why? How he found out? _

“Shorter Wong a leader of the Chinatown gang in New York, now is a part of Lee clan. The second hand of his. Those three were some very precious puppets he had.” Okumura starts talking as he takes off the coat. His posture and style are ridiculously disturbing.

Ash feels like somebody got stuck in his throat. _ Shorter is the second hand of Lee now? When did this happen? How? _

Okumura is coming towards Ash, but the man steps back until back bumps into the wall. 

“You think you can fool me… but I know everything, Lynx. And you’re in my way.”

Those were people from Shorter’s family. His gang, that he tried to protect so much. He became FBI so his men in Chinatown gang could be safe.

“Those names you had… they’re Yue Lung's spy who works for me. No matter what you have, what you know… I’m already one step forward. You’re so useless to me, Lynx. And yet…”

Ash isn't the only one who feels this. It's a mix of every negative feeling in the world and even more. The insane attraction that neither of them can endure. When Okumura stops in front of him and breaths out Ash forgets that he has to feel guilty about Shorter.

He noticed that Okumura is slightly shorter than he is, but as the boss is looking down at people with crushing dark eyes, he always seems taller. 

“Your eyes are like wild's cats… who needs to find its place… you want to be controlled, don’t you? Your hate towards me… use _ my _ clan as a gun? Is it that you desire the most?”

Okumura reaches for Ash’s light hair and grabs them strongly, makes him turn the head to the side. Ash feels guilty for secretly wishing for it to happen. 

_ What he desires the most? _

Ash knows what people were talking about him in the FBI. He never dated anyone before, he never even showed the interest in anyone nor he had a desire for it. People were not questioning Ash sexuality, they were openly speaking that he may be asexual. _ What a waste. _ He was sure that one of the girls whispered to another.

_ What a waste. _

Through Okumura’s leather gloves, his touches are absolutely everything that Ash needs now. He doesn’t hold back the hard fast breathing, nor he tries to hide that his body for the first time responded to someone’s else heat. Is that what Okumura meant with _ yet _?

Ash loudly groans and closes his eyes, when suddenly a painfully pleasant heat on his neck makes the whole body shiver. It’s Okumura’s teeth, going under the skin. Ash quietly moans but doesn’t move. He’s hard. He has never been this hard before. It twitches inside, almost burns and the rage towards the man in front makes it even worse. 

Okumura’s lips on his neck - that’s the heavenly gift, as this man is the worst drug that exists. Ash doesn’t know anything about him, just like everyone else. Except for revenge that he is seeking. _ He still is. Has to. _

“Lynx, you will go with me to Japan...you’ll be mine. Your body, soul, mind, existence, even your hate… everything belongs to me. That’s the price for revenge.” Okumura slowly pronounces words into his ear and Ash has to grab on the wall not to fall.

Okumura’s and Ash’s feelings towards each other are nothing more than sick passion and hate. _ Nothing personal. _

_ This traction is not something they can control. _

_ But. _

_ Ash would rather die than become someone’s slave… _

Ash slowly finds Okumura’s arm and leads him to touch his waist. It’s blissful. Ash needs more… he really does. He needs this venomous poison.

_ He would rather be gone. _

_ It's just for the aim of the goal. It is. _

“Is that your answer?”


	3. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be aware of the triggers for this chapter: child abuse, sexual content without sexual desire (not a rape tho), masochism, sexual pain, bitting, deep past trauma, a bit of bdsm, and just boss Okumura being an ass lol
> 
> Yakuza Eiji playlist on Spotify if someone is interested: [[click here]](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/19NtSBpTxZqSNvdgQIr5S2?si=V_XCYAh1RMWEKGe0m3cIqg) (feel free to drop me messages with your suggestions for the list!)
> 
> Also, I want to share fanarts dedicated to this fic by two amazing artists! <3 Thank you so much! ;3; Please give them your support <3  
[Boss Okumura](https://twitter.com/gabgabsay/status/1190639705987145728?s=20) by [Gabodelio](https://twitter.com/gabgabsay/) and [Boss Okumura as teen](https://twitter.com/Vitavilii/status/1194156193087774720?s=20) by [Salmon](https://twitter.com/sushisalmon95)

_Eiji looked up at the tall stranger with strawberry blond hair. He was weird, but not because of different facial features or a bit lighter skin. His honest smile was something that the boy couldn’t understand. The man leaned a little bit down and proposed Eiji to take his hand. _

_ “Hello there, what’s your name?” for Eiji’s surprise he spoke in Japanese. _

_ Should he take it? What does he suppose to do? What’s right in this situation? _

_ “Where are your manners??” _

_ Eiji flinched from the sharp pain on the head, when father hit him, but was able to hold back the gasp. Eiji remained calm and deeply bowed for the stranger in front of him. _

_ “Boss, with respect, I don’t think there was a need to go this far… I probably look weird for him…” the tall man was still smiling, and Eiji wished he would stop being so nice, so kind. Then it would be so much easier. _

_ “He’s the next leader of the clan. There’s no such thing as going too far. Anyway, Ibe, take that useless kid. Griffin, you’re going with me.” the boss Okumura hasn’t even glanced at son’s side before leaving. The man named Griffin did. He looked at Eiji somehow very apologetic and smirked before going after the boss. _

_ “Ibe-san, who is he?” Eiji asked when he was sure that no one hears them. _

_ “A very important person in the clan, be nice, okay?” Ibe nodded. _

_ Was there at least once when Eiji wasn’t acting nice? It’s not like it did matter, the result was always the same. Even though Ibe was father’s assistant he also didn’t know anything that was going on behind those walls. Who would go against the boss? _

_ “Eiji walk faster… your mother is waiting for you.” _

_ He tried. He tried to walk as fast as he could, but knees were burning from pain. At the same time, Eiji did try to hold back the tears. He reached for Ibe’s coat with tiny fingers. _

_ “Mother!!” _

_ As soon as Eiji saw her, he got washed away with thousands of feelings. Mother understood him, she never did anything to hurt Eiji. She knew what it means to suffer. They were both in the same cage, locked forever. Mother was his safe haven, someone Eiji loved from the core of his heart. _

_ “Ei-chan!” she smiled widely even if her eyes were lifeless for years. Her gentle arms met him with no pain or hate and Eiji burst into tears as soon as he was able to hide the face in her woolen skirt. “It’s okay Shunichi, you can leave us. Thank you.” _

_ “Yes, mam. Let me know if you need anything.” _

_ Eiji didn’t turn to tell Ibe goodbye. As long as his father is not here, Eiji doesn’t need to be good, right? _

_ “Shush… darling, don’t cry… don’t… shush… I’m here…” mother softly kissed his hair, but the pain didn’t go away. Eiji was holding back for hours, he didn’t need to hide it anymore. “Show me, okay? It’s okay…” _

_ Even without any words, she already knew what happened. And if mother did, Eiji couldn’t understand why she wants him to let go. Didn’t she understand how much he needed to feel safe? _

_ How much he needed to feel right now? _

_ But even if Eiji trembled and kept shaking his head, she almost forced him to step away and sit down on the chair. She unbuttoned his nicely tailored dark blue pants, as Eiji covered his face with both hands. Pulled them down. _

_ “Oh… God… Eiji…” she whispered taking one of his legs into her soft hands. _

_ Eiji couldn’t open his face, he was too embarrassed to see the view. Of mother crying while looking at his wounds. The sound she made was coming from deep inside of her. It wasn’t sobbing. She was crying her heart out, only like a mother could when her child is suffering. Without any hope of saving him from that hell. Saving them both. _

_ “I’ll be strong… I promise… I’ll be strong, mother…” while covering his face with one hand, Eiji tried to reach for the woman in front of him, but she was like in another dimension. _

_ Really, what he could do? Nothing. He was so worthless in this endless war. Eiji didn’t want to become like his father one day. _

_ “No, my love… darling… soon there will be no need to be strong for you. We'll run away. Just you and me.” she caught Eiji’s hand and kissed fingers. _

_ That was a promise she couldn’t keep. Mother was the first one who abandoned him. _

  
  


_ “Hello, Eiji. How are you?” a voice in fluent Japanese asked. _

_ Eiji was sitting on the bench just outside the place, where the father masterly pretended that he cares about mother’s death. _

_ That night, he would have killed Eiji too, but he had other plans for him. _

_ Eiji didn’t look up to see who it is. He’ll be punished anyway for not staying at the table with everyone. Eiji doesn’t care, there is no point to feel. _

_ “What a stupid question. Of course, you’re sad… I’ll sit down next to you if you don’t mind, okay?” the man’s voice continued speaking, and even without any answer he already found a place for himself on the bench. “I know… how you feel.” _

_ “Do you?” Suddenly Eiji looked at the man and recognized him from before. Even though it’s been at least a few months when Eiji last saw him. That new assistant. Griffin. _

_ Griffin was looking at Eiji without hiding the surprise. As for five years old child, Eiji was way too mature. All over Griffin’s face and especially in his blue eyes Eiji saw how he was pitying Eiji. Because Eiji’s mother committed suicide, leaving him at such a young age. _

_ Right. Committed suicide. Did she? Or father was the one who made her? He caught them both trying to escape. _

_ Eiji was forced to believe in that lie too, even though he saw everything with his own eyes. _

_ Father wrapped the belt around mother’s neck when she was begging for forgiveness and— _

_ No one responded to hers or Eiji’s screams. No one came. _

_ “Actually I do.” the man interrupted Eiji’s thoughts. No one dared to opposite him before. “You see, both of my parents passed away in the car accident. And back in the United States, I have a brother, who doesn’t even remember them, as he was too small. He's the same age as you now, five years old!” _

_ “I’m almost six.” Eiji turned his head away. He didn’t want to be compared to some kid, whoever he was. He has nothing to do with Eiji and he never will. _

_ Griffin quietly chuckled. _

_ “You remind me of him.” he continued even though Eiji didn’t ask him for it. “I’m very sorry about your mother, Eiji. I am. If you ever need something, I’m here, okay?” _

_ Eiji slowly looked at the person in front. Griffin had those that clear eyes, and Eiji for unknown reason trusted him. Eiji jumped away from anyone who tried to touch him, but when Griffin reached for Eiji’s hair, he didn’t even flinch. _

_ Eiji was looking at that open and friendly, but a little bit sad, smile and enjoying the warm touch. That moment he didn’t even mind if Griffin touched him only because Eiji reminded of that little brother. As long as it doesn’t hurt. _

_ Since mother’s funeral Eiji started seeing Griffin almost every day. Outside in the garden or just passing by, secretly giving candy for Eiji or only casually brushing over his hair. And Eiji didn’t notice how after months he started looking forward to their small talks, searching for Griffin with his big eyes. Sometimes Eiji couldn’t move from pain, sometimes father kept him locked in for days. But Eiji was dreaming about those moments when he meets Griffin. And waiting kept him alive. _

_ Griffin was his hope. A Hope that Eiji won’t end up as father did. What if Eiji can be a nice boss? Who would have everyone’s respect, not because of fear? Eiji also wanted to be nice and kind. Just like Griffin. _

_ “Who are you searching for, master?” Arthur asked when they were walking back from the main building after the private piano lesson. _

_ Frederick Arthur was a child that the clan adopted from America. They were raising him as a loyal assistant for Eiji in the future. But Eiji never heard of his father punishing Arthur. Or maybe Arthur was just too shy to speak about it. Eiji wished to be able to see Arthur as his friend because they were about the same age. But Arthur was annoying and even a little bit clingy. Eiji never stayed with him longer than he had to. _

_ “No one…” Eiji turned his head away from the garden and sighed. _

_ “Eiji! Hey!” _

_ And suddenly this voice. Like a pray saved him from the slumber. He turned at Griffin, forgot to keep his clam well-trained poker face and smiled widely. _

_ “Griff!!” Eiji ran closer to the man, leaving frozen Arthur behind. “Where were you??” _

_ “Sorry, I had some things to do, but now I’m back.” he easily caught Eiji with his free hand. _

_ “Did you bring anything for me??” Eiji excitedly jumped trying to look at what Griffin is hiding behind the back. He always brings something for Eiji. _

_ “Oh, you’re a little bit spoiled aren’t you… but of course, I did!” they started walking towards the garden and Eiji gladly accepted to be hugged around shoulders. When Griffin gave him the matcha flavored candy from Kyoto, Eiji laughed and took it with both hands. _

_ “I love matcha!” he gratefully blushed. But of course, Griffin already knew that. _

_ They sat down on one of the benches and Eiji opened the candy. Better to eat it now, before someone took it away. He was enjoying the taste, with Griffin’s company, who seemed relaxed by Eiji’s side, quietly humming a melody. Eiji already got used to this, Griffin was humming always the same somehow nostalgic song to fill the silence and Eiji didn’t mind. It was pleasant for the ears. _

_ “Eiji, what is this?” suddenly Griffin stopped and took Eiji’s hand between his fingers. Under his coat sleeve, there was burst left from ropes. Eiji quickly hid it, moved the hand away and shook his head. _

_ “Nothing. I fell.” he quickly answered, but Griffin didn’t give up until he caught Eiji’s hand again. He gripped it stronger and looked under the sleeve. _

_ “Who did this to you? Does the boss know about it?” Griffin barely could control his shaking voice. “Was it one of the teachers? Tell me Eiji. Who? Eiji!” _

_ Eiji dropped the rest of the candy and jumped on his legs, then started running away. He couldn’t tell. He can’t tell anyone about it. Because Griffin might end up as his mother did. Eiji didn’t want anyone to suffer ever again, because of his mistakes. Especially not Griffin. _

_ Eiji loved Griffin. He wasn’t sure about the meaning, but Eiji needed Griff to be there. Losing him would be too much. So if Eiji had to lie to save Griffin’s life, he was ready to do so. _

_ “Master! You’re okay!” As soon as Eiji ran inside the main building, he saw Arthur waiting. He was nervously walking back and forward. _

_ “Of course, I’m okay, why?” Eiji took off his coat, giving it to a handmaid. He couldn’t explain why suddenly this bad feeling appeared. _

_ “I told the boss… I was so afraid that the man will do something bad… he hugged you and—” _

_ “You did what??” Eiji stepped back until he leaned against the wall. _

_ With all his heart this moment Eiji wished to be dreaming. He acted without thinking that Arthur was not aware of Griffin, without realizing what kind of consequences it might have. Father was in the meeting with his assistants, so Eiji was safe from his darkness. But if Arthur interrupted the boss just to tell about Griffin and wasn’t punished, then it had only one meaning. _

_ “Young master… I thought—” _

_ “Please… don’t say a word. Don’t.” Eiji wanted to scream at him more than ever. He wanted to grab Arthur on his tidy clothes and hit against the wall. Hit many times until he would feel the same pain that Eiji was feeling. _

_ But if Eiji had done that, would be any different from his father? _

_ Eiji left Arthur standing with a dumb expression. He tried to convince himself not to blame Arthur for what happened. He may have been scared for Eiji as he didn’t know Griffin at all. But from all people why… just why he had to tell to that man? _

_ Eiji was thinking he might be able to hide. Until he opened his bedroom door. _

_ Akihito Okumura was a tall and graceful man with rich black hair and deep brown eyes. Everyone said that Eiji and he were so alike. The sensation of absolute power and control that boss Okumura gave out, made everyone want to kneel in front of him. He ruled people’s existence and was able to enslave their souls. He was a perfect boss and a strong yakuza that gained all the respect through every possible way. But behind that brilliant mask, Akihito Okumura was a monster. _

_ When Eiji entered, father didn’t say a word, only glanced at his side. _

_ “Please father, me and Griffin were only talking. Arthur misunderstood. It was a mistake. From the depths of my heart, I beg for your apology.” Eiji let his head down, trying to be as humble as possible. _

_ “Until now, Eiji, you never understood. Do you think I’m mad? My poor boy, I’m doing this for you. You can’t imagine how many people over there will try to break you down, seeking your place, manipulate you. They will destroy you, Eiji.” _

_ As father was talking, he started coming closer, but Eiji didn’t dare to raise his head and look at that cruel face. _

_ How? Why did he think that everyone wanted bad for Eiji? It was not the truth… Griffin was not like that and mother... _

_ “But mother she didn’t do anything bad, she—” _

_ Eiji gasped and lost his balance when the powerful blow caught him by surprise. Father hit his face without holding back the strength. Eiji heard how loudly he took the air in. _

_ “Your mother was a selfish bitch! She wanted to take you away! She tried to humiliate me and this clan! And you… you’re exactly like she was. A fucking piece of shit. I can’t believe that someone like you’ll take over the clan one day… It's going to be a disaster.” Okumura sighed with deep regret. _

_ Every word coming out from those lips made Eiji feel worthless. Trash. He was never loved. _

_ He doesn’t deserve. He doesn’t deserve. _

_ Eiji was shivering on the floor. How many times did he end up like this? How many times he’ll have to go through it again? _

_ “But I still can fix you, Eiji. One day you’ll be grateful for me.” father passed through and for one moment Eiji hoped that he left. _

_ Eiji heard a sound of glass breaking, probably the vase from the shelf. Eiji flinched and started shivering like a leaf, without any control. He knew, what was coming next. _

_ “No, please…. please… please….please… please…” Eiji sobbed loudly when father grabbed on his sweater and turned him around. Eiji tried to push those hands away and stop father from taking off his pants. _

_ “Stop whining!” he groaned, stepping on Eiji's stomach. “You don’t need those emotions! You don’t need to feel anything. Believe me.” _

_ Father looked down at Eiji’s naked legs. His knees were covered in scratches, wounds and multiple scars. When did this start? Probably neither of them could remember. Since forever. _

_ Again and again, he wounded Eiji’s body and soul, trying to get rid of humanity that Eiji was still carrying inside. Eiji promised himself not to give up, for those who still are out there. For someone who cares. For Griffin. _

_ “Go and kneel. If I hear a sound….” _

_ He didn’t finish the sentence, but Eiji perfectly knew. He would force Eiji to kneel on shards until the boy loses all strengths and passed out. Even then, he would tie Eiji up and leave, until Eiji woke up without any single emotion on his face left. _

_ When father moved away, Eiji slowly got up and stepped towards the glass shards on the floor. With his tiny hand, he reached for the wall and slowly kneeled without complaints. Until the sharp fragments cut through his skin, going deep inside, craving new marks, leaving the floor stained in bloody red. _

_ “Let go of the wall,” Okumura ordered. _

_ And Eiji did. He let the hands down shutting his eyes. But father was still giving that burning stare from behind, making sure that Eiji is behaving. Enjoying or suffering together, Eiji never had a chance to find out. He never had a chance to ask, why the previous boss was making his son go through that pain. For the clan? For himself? For Eiji? _

_ He couldn't move. He couldn't cry. Nor he could speak. Until his emotions dry like sun's heat that raced across the desert. Until he won't be able to feel. Until everything else becomes irrelevant. _

_ Back then Eiji prayed. Hoped. _

_ One day he'll know the answers to all those questions. One day he'll be able to understand. _

_ One day he'll be free. _

* * *

  
  


_ Is that your answer? _

Even days after Ash can’t stop thinking about this embarrassment he had to go through. How Okumura laughed right into his face _ “Do you think I’ll have sex with you…?” _ he was openly humiliating Ash. Okumura walked away, leaving Ash with that deep bite mark on the neck and painfully twitching erection. There is no mistake. Ash doesn’t feel any positive feelings towards that man. The body’s reaction and common sense shutting down - those signs are as unhealthy as it sounds, but with no reasonable explanation. And no matter how Ash looks at it, a hell of annoying. 

Okumura’s show off crossed all possible lines. All this time Ash tried to do his best and erase unnecessary negative feelings, pretend to be on Okumura’s side and seek the goal patiently. But that day was the end. Okumura so easily and with a smile bought Ash as some sort of low-quality equipment. Ash cursed everyone, Okumura, Shorter, Max and FBI. Finally, Ash sent a message to the FBI, confirming his active status. Everything should end in Japan.

Ash couldn’t explain anything to Skipper or someone else. After more than a year of living together with all of them in the same building, Ash didn’t even have a chance to say a proper goodbye. Those aren’t sentiments, only some regrets. Because next time Ash will see all of them already in jail. The hatred and betrayal in their eyes, the pure judgment. Ash is not sure that he’ll look at them the same way. Maybe Ash did a mistake, leaving a small letter to Skip, asking him to consider his future in this clan. But he most likely he won’t. Skipper just like everyone else is too devoted to the supreme boss. That’s a shame. On the other side, they were nothing more than criminals. With the last message for Skip, Ash also had to leave everything else behind. 

The flight to Japan in the small private plane surrounded by guards is softly saying very tense. For a bit more than 14 hours Ash feels like any glance in the wrong direction will cost him life. It’s like he is a prisoner, under a constant watch. Nobody cares about passport or visa, with his unfriendly escort Ash gets out of the airport within minutes. The car is waiting for them and Ash is sure he’ll go to another similar building as the one in New York. But they pass through the city. It’s the first time for Ash to leave the USA, but he doesn’t feel like looking through the window at unknown flashy surroundings and strange signs. He's not here for fun. The only thing that keeps Ash’s moving forward is a thought that Griffin was going through the same paths. Ash has never been so close to the brother as he’s now.

Ash is truly exhausted after hours of staying awake, but when they reach the mountains and cross the forest, Ash gets a second breath. The residence is enormous. Nothing close to the one he saw in New York. Already from the black gates with huge sings 奥村 engraved on it, Ash feels like entering some sort of cursed sanctuary. He sees at least five buildings, but the road has no end. 

Ash doesn’t find another word stronger than aesthetic. Everything seems complete and in their places, starting from very unique Japanese architecture and ending with small gardens, which Ash can’t describe because he never had any interest in this culture before. The perfection seems almost scary, and without any doubt confirms that Okumura Eiji grew up treated as a golden bird. Ash is getting sick only from thinking how spoiled that brat was and still is, with the huge ego of his. Before all of this mess started Ash already knew that both of Okumura’s parents are dead. The FBI didn’t know any details about their death, but it was unnecessary as the result still came out as ugly as it could be.

Finally, he gets out of the car. And when Ash already though the has seen enough for today, he sees a man waiting for them. Most likely also American. That kind of concern from Okumura’s side seems almost impossible. And Ash, of course, is right.

“Wow… Another trash.” the man shows a sign for guards to leave. He feels safe in this territory and Ash decides to see the situation before acting, so he remains silent.

The man is tall with blond hair and pronounced cheekbones. From the appearance, he might be the same age as Ash. Whoever he is, also doesn’t lack confidence or just tries to show off. From the way the man looks at him, it’s obvious that Ash is on the same level as any worm on the ground. 

“Is just as Sing said…” That man hates Ash from the beginning. He turns the back and walks further.

A very risky decision. Guards are gone, there are no cameras here and it would be just too easy to knock him down. Ash only follows with no words. He tries to remember the structure of the clan. _ How close this person might be to Okumura? _

They enter the building which looks like the main one, from what Ash saw around. Unusual surroundings and vibe, as every detail here, is so different from what Ash is used to seeing back in America. Honestly, it’s like he appeared in a different universe. Japanese style looks so fragile, but that can’t be applied to the one and only man. 

Ash didn’t expect to meet him right away, also he’s not that naive to think that Okumura Eiji was waiting. 

He’s wearing a black long coat which covers a delicate suit.

“Master, are you already leaving?” the blond man steps back covering Ash from Okumura’s eyes. As they’re the same height his intention is not very successful. For Ash, it’s funny how they always try to protect Okumura’s eyes from seeing him.

“失礼します。奥村様、車が—-” some woman in kimono opens the door behind Ash, but after she notices the situation, instantly steps back while bowing.

Okumura doesn’t even glance at Ash’s side. Like he wasn’t the one who made him come here. His hair combed back, so all the strict face features are clearly visible, not even single muscle moves on that Adonis face of his. It’s like he’s not even real.

“Lynx is coming with me.” Okumura freezes the air.

“Sir, it’s better if Arthur would...” Ash doesn’t notice when Sing appears in the same room. Everyone’s existence is so small compared to Okumura’s. “Situation changes. Ash Lynx is coming instead of Arthur. Don’t shoot.” Sing reports to a small mic in his leather glove.

The door opens again and Okumura walks out, Sing after him giving Ash a deadly stare before that. It’s just amazing how passionately all of them hate Ash. He feels like walking on knife blades all the time.

“Are you deaf? Go, fucker…” the blond man pushes him from behind towards the door. The same woman in kimono is kneeling on the floor until Ash passes her by. 

That man before, Frederick Arthur, is the second in command after Okumura. Ash just now realizes that he came to the main nest of this family. But Okumura is still supreme and others are just different levels trash.

Sing is waiting next to the car. This time Ash doesn’t say a word just sits in. It’s dark inside as always around that man. But Okumura is not here. Another man is sitting in front of him. A middle-aged Japanese.

“アメリカ人ですね。” he smirks for Ash.

Ash doesn’t know how to react. _ And what the hell is he saying? _

“Oh, you don’t speak Japanese… Sorry, Eiji didn’t explain to me much about you.”

_ EIJI?? _ Ash stares at the new stranger with surprise. _ Where is Okumura? What if he can hear this conversation? _ For the first time, someone calls Okumura by the first name in front of Ash.

“You’re Ash Lynx, right? Everyone is aware of how great you were dealing with business in New York. I’m looking forward to seeing how you’ll be working here. I’m Shunichi Ibe.” 

He’s just like Blanca in New York, the main leader of the Osaka branch. The man seems way too nice and calm compared to anyone Ash has seen from Okumura’s clan elite. _ Is this a trap? _

“I’ll be working with guns from now on?” Ash just wants to make sure that he understood everything right.

Instead of a proper answer, Ibe laughs from Ash’s confusion. 

“Of course, what else you thought you’re doing here? I’m sure they explained to you everything…” Ibe leans back at the seat when he sees from Ash’s face that the situation is different.

The flashbacks of Okumura almost killing him twice, threatening and using doesn’t really match to the scene of a normal business meeting about the new job. Ibe and Ash stare at each other for a moment longer and then Ibe sighs.

“And here I thought that Eiji finally found someone he can trust…” he shakes head with disappointment. “Hey, how old are you?”

“Twenty-six.” Ash wants to act just as Blanca told him and keep his ass safe, but he can’t. “It’s the first time I hear someone talking about boss… so freely.”

“I watched how he grew. I worked for his father and now I’m working for him. I know Eiji well.” 

_ Does he? _

Ibe shrugs, but Ash is impressed to find out that the person, who is confident about Okumura, exists. On the other hand, there must be nothing much to know. Okumura is just a spoiled brat with huge pride. 

Ibe might be Ash’s key to the answer. If he worked for the previous boss, he has to know about Griffin. Blood boils inside Ash’s veins from excitement. This couldn’t end up more perfectly than now.

For the rest of the journey, they talk about business. The system is different from the one in New York. There are no teams, Ibe controls everything and Ash came here to be his assistant because the business is successful as never. 

Anyone could easily believe that Okumura clan is just a family business run by entrusted family members. But when Ibe lifts his sleeve to look at the watch on his wrist, Ash notices the part of clan’s tattoo and this reminds that all of them are just very clever criminals. They’re like a religious sect, unconditionally devoted to their absolute God. Ash wants to ask Ibe was Okumura an asshole since childhood, but can’t find a way how to do it nicely.

They finally come to the city, which is already drowned in the darkness, but busy streets don’t seem ever to stop. They enter skyscraper and get up to the top, Ash is holding next to Ibe, guards walk behind them. Ash doesn’t fit into this place. All the people seem rich and fancy and Ash is tired, without a shower for almost a day and dressed in cheap clothes. He can’t stop looking around, but not because of lights, expensive food, drinks, and a very positive mood - he has seen the same scenes in New York - Ash is searching for Okumura. 

And here he is. Sitting on the couch as far as possible in this room surrounded by a group of bodyguards. He seems pretty invested in a conversation with a man in front, who slides a file towards him. Sing takes it first and looks inside before giving to Okumura. But that’s not the most important. Next to Okumura, there is another man. Even from far away, Ash sees an opened shirt and a deep mark on his neck. _ Who is he? _

“Ash!” Ibe points him to sit at the free table, facing back at Okumura’s side. “Don’t stare at him so openly…” Ibe’s face for the first time today seems a little bit strict and Ash quickly nods. “Do you want anything to drink?”

_ But who is that man next to Okumura? Why he’s there? _

Ash was a fool to expect something from that evening. He couldn't even look at Okumura again. He met someone of the men from their team and was introduced to the selling system, also to some threats, of course, including police and Lee clan. Ash’s thoughts were half occupied with Okumura, that’s why he managed to keep his face calm when he saw Shorter’s name on the list of dangerous people from Lee’s clan.

When they left the place Okumura was already gone. _ With that man? _ Ash is so annoyed that he can’t stop thinking about it. It doesn't even matter with who Okumura is. _ But then what happened between them in New York? _

Life in Japan didn’t change much from life in New York. Just Ash couldn’t understand any of that language, so he had a personal translator. She didn’t talk a single world not related to the work with Ash. Like a robot, she appeared only when she was needed. Ash saw what Okumura did here. This work was the best way to get closer to Lee, so a perfect chance for his nonexisting revenge that Ash created to save his life. 

Even though now they are in the same territory, Ash lives in a different building only with one room and he usually finds himself missing the chaos of New York. The quiet during the evenings always makes him think that someone is watching. Ash is never able to fully let his guard down.

The evening after almost a month, Ash goes out for a walk. Sometimes he does that. At first, guards were suspiciously following him everywhere but later gave up. This time is no different. Ash puts on the warmer sweater and leaves the building. The path until the main house is illuminated, so it’s easier to follow it. Ash lifts his head and glances at the window where he imagined Okumura’s room to be. It’s dark in the main house, except for one room on the first floor. 

Ash silently swears and then climbs over the low fence. If someone notices him, Ash is a dead man, but something drags him towards that side. He walks quietly, with no extra sounds. It’s just a dumb habit he learned over the years, but Ash wishes he had a gun right now. Of course, he doesn’t. They don’t trust him that much. 

Ash stops just next to the light and leans against the wall with his back. The window is large - so different from the Western. And the whole mansion looks like a huge square of none ending labyrinths of corridors and rooms. Ash had a chance to go there at least a few times and he still didn’t have a clue how to understand that construction. 

He takes a deep breath before glancing at the room through the window. But even though Ash was dragged here by an invisible magnet, he still didn’t expect to see Okumura here all alone. He’s sitting in the armchair, pressing his nose bridge. Even in this kind position, wearing a black cozy sweater with a turtleneck, he seems graceful, almost tender. For the first time, Okumura doesn’t look like a heartless boss of the strongest clan. More like a way too tired young man. Ash is staring. He doesn’t want to, but he is and only when Okumura raises the head and their eyes meet Ash understands how obvious he was, without even feeling it. 

No matter what kind of decision he makes now, it doesn’t change anything. Ash stays still in this creepy situation. Okumura gets up, and walks towards the window, opens it. Ash doesn’t know what to do for a moment, but he decides just to follow with this for now. He climbs in and closes the window behind. The room is filled with books and vinyl on the shelves. It doesn’t have a lot of furniture, just several armchairs and a table with a gramophone.

Okumura goes towards the door and it seems that he is about to leave Ash here, but he only turns off the light and the place drowns in the darkness. Ash steps forward until the hot breathing behind stops him from moving. The sound of Okumura loosening the belt makes Ash freeze in the spot, but he doesn’t intend to run away. Maybe only to fight if there’s going to be a need. It’s not so easy to scare Ash. 

Suddenly cold hand grips Ash’s right wrist and then another one. The movements are fast and confident. Clearly, it’s not the first time Okumura is doing it. He ties up Ash’s wrists behind the back so strong, that hands get numb, there’s no way he can release himself easily.

What insanity. Shorter would be freaking out right now, watching how obediently Ash lets himself get killed by the man, which he had to destroy. And Ash will. But some sacrifices are necessary for better results. If he manages somehow get Okumura’s trust, if Ash gets closer to his secrets, then there will be no problem to press the trigger.

Okumura pushes Ash a bit to the side, and he falls on the armchair. Ash is about to get up again, but Okumura’s hand presses his shoulders down and his heat leans forward Ash’s ear.

“I saw you looking at me that first night. You what? Wanted to be in his place?” he bites a top of Ash’s ear.

“I don’t want to be your slut.” Ash can’t hold back. He’s angry and tired of Okumura’s existence. How he dares to think that Ash can fall so low.

Okumura grabs his face, squeezes the cheeks until Ash’s painfully groans.

“But you are. You’re mine…”

_ Then why? Why have you been ignoring this for a whole month? _ Ash doesn’t understand for what possible reason he is so annoyed by this fact. He can hardly breathe, Okumura doesn’t plan to let go of his face. At the same time, it’s the first direct body contact they ever had and Ash can’t be the only one who feels what it does to the body. 

Okumura’s weight falls on Ash when he straddles his legs and leans forward. Ash breaths fast and irregularly, it’s a feeling he never thought he’ll come across to. He never felt sexually attracted to anyone until he met this Death. Okumura finally lets go of Ash’s face. He takes a deep breath, more like a silent gasp, when Okumura drags down pants and underwear.

Soon Ash gives up on trying to move his hands, they are tied behind the back too strong. The pitch-black is the only color he can see. From the side, it might look like he’s about to get rapped, but the body can’t lie. Ash is hard and he wants that body on him. Now. He wants to let that anger out, punish Okumura in any way even for the things he hasn’t done. Okumura makes think of him as the center of the universe, so he also has to accept the consequences.

“What–” 

Ash flinch and pulls back the head holding the louder moan when something squeezes his hard erection. The feeling is uncomfortable and strange. Actually, painful even though Ash was never so sensitive to the pain before. No matter what Okumura used to bind the base of Ash’s dick, but the discomfort is huge. 

“Like ever I will let you cum inside me. I know you wish for that, but you should be grateful for what I’m about to give you.” Okumura slowly licks Ash’s ear, leaving the poisonous path, but even he can’t hide the hunger inside the voice. 

Ash was thinking about this moment. The strongest leader who has control over everything and nothing can be done without his agreement. But this is the side of him, that no one knew. Ash isn’t sure that he wanted to find out it that way. Ash’s wet tip hits Okumura’s entrance and it’s hot, twitching, asking for attention. He does it without any preparation, any hesitation. Ash one moment tries to release hands as hard as he can, but only gets a sharp pain in both of his body parts. _ It should hurt like hell for him too. _

Ash shivers hard. He tries to hold back but instantly loses this fight. The sound is somewhere between the gasp and moan. Every part of his body is so tense at the moment, which makes the even sound lower. Inside Okumura, it feels prohibitively heavenly crazy amazing. Ash wanted this as much as he needed the air for breathing. Since when he doesn’t exactly remember. _ Maybe from the first moment. _

Okumura’s thighs slide down through Ash’s sides, as he lets hips down and takes Ash even deeper. Should it be so hot? Should it be so unbearable painful and pleasant at the same time? 

Ash wants to see, he wants to touch him. _ He wants to know more. _

“Hey…” the voice lays on his ear leaving a hot path down. 

Okumura hasn’t taken him all, and it’s excruciating. It hurts so much, but if Ash doesn’t get everything now, he’ll never be able to feel satisfied. Heart jumps higher, lungs lack air and down there the erection is killing him even harder than Okumura when he grabs on the hair and pulls Ash’s head back.

“Don’t tell me you were virgin, boy?” the smile inside those words, and somehow this kind of simple question drags Ash down to the most humiliating position. Okumura leaves a burning ball of air on the skin as Ash’s response to him through the groan. 

That dark man is a selfish monster, who never shows any sort of emotion, but as they’re connected so close, for the first time Ash can tell that Okumura Eiji is not senseless. His body against Ash’s is also shivering, his insides are over leaking with almost unnatural heat. And Ash swears, just for a split second, when he entered inside, Okumura made a sound. There was a life coming out from him. A painful side of the ugly story.

Ash wants to tell something which will only let their hate to spread, turn this into nothing more than act. But Okumura’s body leans closer, and even through clothing layers, his heart flutters way too fast. When Ash is finally as deep inside as he can reach and the man sitting on him suddenly doesn’t feel so heavy anymore, just before he starts moving, Ash almost asks: _ are you okay? _

“Move your hips, princess.” Okumura’s voice is restless and Ash is sure that it’s a privilege to hear him like this.

But he’s tight. He’s very tight inside and it doesn’t feel right. Even though it’s a bit easier to move now because of Ash’s pre-cum, but it seems wrong. _ Shouldn’t Okumura be seeking pleasure for himself? Why it seems like he’s trying to hurt both of them. _

“Pathetic…” he sighs and Ash shivers again. The meaning doesn’t matter, only his voice makes him want to cum, but the fact that he can’t is killing. 

Okumura raises his hips up and then lets down, he does that again slower and then doesn’t stop. He grabs on Ash’s shoulder with one hand, with another one pulls the head to the side and grips the skin on Ash’s neck between his teeth. Ash moans moving forward with his whole body. Okumura’s cold fingers feel so good on the hair, but the heat inside is driving him even more crazy. Ash unconsciously moves his hips joining that rhythm, searching for any position where it hurts less, but no matter how deep he enters or only shapes Okumura’s inside with the tip the torture is the same. 

_ The addicting pain. _

Okumura is biting and sucking Ash’s skin, he pulls down the sweater from the shoulder and does the same. But as they move even faster Okumura squeezes Ash’s hair so hard that both of them groan at the same time. For Okumura’s sake, Ash wants to tell him to stop, but he selfishly wants more of those moves, he doesn’t want to care about Okumura’s feelings. Ash’s neck is burning and itching but when Okumura presses his forehead against Ash’s skin instead of teeth it doesn’t matter anymore. The unbreakable boss is also trembling and for a moment Ash is sure that something other than saliva drops on the naked skin.

_ Tear? _

Suddenly it’s over. Okumura almost gets off him so fast that Ash is not even able to properly react. He only takes a loud breath, because he already misses the feeling and that body warmth, the smell of heat. But it’s gone. 

“Get out.” the voice makes body numb and Ash hears how Okumura leaves quietly closing the door.

It takes for Ash some time to release the hands and he has to solve that ridiculous embarrassing situation that Okumura left him in again. When Ash finally gets back to his place, ignoring the guard’s suspicious stare, he almost falls on the floor as soon as he closes the door behind. The whole body is craving as it’s not satisfying. He has to jerk off in the shower and is not able to cum until he imagines doing it inside Okumura. This feeling is crushing, Ash doesn’t clearly realize that what happened just now was a reality. His neck and the left shoulder look horrible in those bite deep bite marks. From the adrenaline, he couldn’t feel the pain before, but he most likely won’t fall asleep without medicine. 

The next morning he jumps in the bed because of the call. It’s Ibe. He tells Ash to be ready in half an hour. Everything that happened yesterday seems like a stupid nightmare, but once Ash opens the door to the bathroom and sees his reflection the body gets tense. The bite marks turned blue and look someone was trying to kill him. Ash has to find a sweater with a high neck even though he hates wearing those. 

_ But yesterday Okumura was looking so good wearing a similar one. _

_ What. _

The whole day Ash can’t concentrate on anything he does. Dealing with the team, talking with the clients and trying to solve the shipping problems - all of this seems just without any sense because the only thing he can hear is Okumura’s moaning next to the ear and that shivering body when Ash fucked him deep inside.

Is he okay?

“Ash, are you sure you’re fine?” Ibe finally asks during lunch. 

Ash is staring down at the busy Osaka street from the huge window. Everyone is wearing long coats here. Okumura also does that.

“What?” Ash turns head at Ibe.

“Okay. What happened? If you need to say something, then say it.” Ibe leans forward, but Ash shakes his head. He could tell. The dark secret of Okumura Eiji, but he doesn’t want to.

“I need to see the boss.” 

Ibe only laughs.

“No matter what is it, you can tell to me. Eiji doesn’t talk with anyone in the clan except for Blanca, Sing, Arthur and me.” Ibe explains patiently, but this time Ash holds back from laughing. Of course, he knows that.

_Then why Okumura spoke with him yesterday?_ _And more than that. Ash needs to see him tonight._

“Well? What is it?” Ibe insists.

Ash lies.

Ash tried to go for a walk again that night, hoping to find the light and this time doesn’t let Okumura take what he wants without a mutual result. But Ash doesn’t even reach the main house when he notices someone going towards him. Arthur’s steps are fast, and Ash is just in time to lean back and avoid the punch. 

“Stay away from this place. Are we clear here?” he hisses and grabs Ash’s sweater. “I saw you here yesterday too. What the fuck you’re trying to do?? You won’t succeed no matter what, so make this cle–” he accidentally drags Ash’s sweater down, but just for a moment, because Ash is quick to move back. 

_ Fuck. _

They stare at each other, Arthur’s frozen face changes with every second, filling with disgust and then turning into the creepy wink. It’s like he knows. Like it’s not the first time for him to see it. Ash can’t explain why his body reacted this way, but he leans forward, ready to protect himself.

“You piece of shit…” Arthur seems happy. He also leans forward and attacks first. 

The fight is fast and intense, as guards are everywhere it might end up any second, so Ash must hurry and shut him up. He grabs on Arthur’s jacket and punches him in the face, then jumps back avoiding the kick from the side. Arthur’s nose is bleeding, he grabs on it and looks at Ash with suspicion. But he doesn’t know anything. These kicks Ash learned not in the FBI. This is what it means to live in the Pit and fight for your life every freaking day.

“What the fuck? Seriously?” Sing is coming towards them, he glances at Ash and then at Arthur, then again at Ash. “What the hell are you doing here? Go back to your place.”

“No. I was taking a walk when he attacked me. I’m not you freaking prisoner. Just to be clear, I’m the one who deals with this clan’s mess most of the time. So, don’t order me around, you’re not my boss.”

Should Ash be scared because Sing has a gun? Not anymore. Ash learned some things about those people, and if Okumura could shoot anyone without blinking then Sing always spoke before taking any action. The truth is that they can’t do anything for him and Sing knows it.

“Do you think you’re safe? You’re his slut now, just like others were. And when the boss will get rid of you. I’ll be the one who cuts your head off.” 

Arthur wipes the blood off his nose and turns around and goes back to the building. Ash tries to keep his expression calm. No way Sing can understand what Arthur was talking about. 

But somehow Ash realizes that he does. 

_ Who are others? How many of them? What happened after? It’s like Okumura doesn’t have any private life from them. _

_ Who were others??? _

“Stay away from the boss.” Sing isn’t threatening, he asks. “Just do what you have to do.” he turns to leave.

“I’m here because of him, so if you–”

“You don’t understand, right?” Sing sighs as if he is speaking with a small child, turns just a bit so he could look at Ash. “You’re nothing more than a toy to him. You’re in his game, he controls your mind and existence however he wants. If you stayed away when I warned you for the first time… he would have lost the interest soon. But you just kept going and going…”

“Why do you even care? I can figure this out.”

“Don’t you ever think, you’ll be able to understand him. Don’t try. You’re just making everything worse.” Sing crosses his arms on the chest, his jawline is tense.

“Like you do understand him…” Ash doesn’t have any idea how long Sing works with Okumura, but it must years if he became a personal bodyguard.

“I don’t. No one does. No one knows the boss, and those who think that they do, are wrong.” 

Sing answers without a doubt. Ash wants to ask, then why Sing is staying with that man in the first place? But they only look at each other for a long minute.

“Do you have any beer in your fridge?” Sing asks.

“What?”

It’s strange what few bottles of beer can do. In exchange for the story about the life in the Pit, Sing told Ash how he started working for Okumura clan. Sing moved from China to Japan at age sixteen with his father, but after he died Sing mostly was hanging out with street gangs, fighting. One time it happened to be with Okumura’s clan members. Ash listened with an opened mouth, how Sing is known as the only person who managed to survive after Okumura gave an order to kill him. After that Sing was imprisoned, but five days later the boss came and suggested Sing become his bodyguard. 

After the third bottle Sing with a smile told to Ash how Okumura saved his life and gave a chance to finish school and college.

Ash understood what Sing had in mind. _ How to understand that man? Who is Okumura Eiji for real? _

Knowing that Sing doesn’t feel deadly hate towards Ash anymore, makes him feel a bit lighter. It seems that he gained bodyguard’s trust and it’s one of the most important things he had to do. Ash never imagined that it can be so easy. Sing is different from the man Ash imagined him to be. Despite being in the clan for almost 6 years, Sing is kind and honest. Sometimes he visits lower-ranking members for no reason. Okumura trusts him with his life. Sing is a man of word, and probably even a single wrong glare at Okumura’s side will make him shoot that person without a second thought. He’s a loyal dog, and that’s exactly what Ash needs. Finally, cards turned at his side.

Weeks after that talk with Sing, Ash still can’t forget about Okumura. He unconsciously tries to search him everywhere around, but he was able to find only Arthur, who never forgave Ash for almost breaking his pretty beak. 

Ash came to Japan almost three months ago. Sometimes Shorter sends him a message with some important information about the Lee clan, but nothing new that Ash couldn’t figure out himself working here in Japan. Either Shorter is hiding something, either he has as much information about Chinese boss as Ash had about Okumura. Almost zero. But Ash can’t blame Shorter, there are some things he’ll be never able to tell him too.

Winters in Japan happens to be not so cold as Ash expects, but still freezing enough. Walking outside during the evenings doesn’t make much sense anymore, but as Sing and Ash became closer Ash uses this situation to get into the main residence. He enters through the back door and chills in the huge kitchen with Sing. They talk only nonsense and never about the boss. Ash tried a few times, but was able to shut up in time before ruining everything. 

Fridays become their meeting day. But this Friday in the middle of January Sing isn’t waiting for him like always. Ash closes the door and takes off the shoes before stepping on the floor. He has to sit at the table and just wait but finds himself walking towards the hallway.

The silence inside this house is creepy. Shadows on the empty walls and not a single sign of life turns it into a haunted place. Ash secretly wants to know was it always like this. _ Did Okumura grow up in this place? _ No wonder he turned into such an introvert. These surroundings are spreading sadness. Ash reaches the stairs. He has never been on the second floor before. _ He shouldn’t go. _ Ash goes up and at the end of the hallway sees a little bit opened the door with the light coming from the gap, falling on the dark floor. He has to go back before it’s too late. But Ash is already next to the entrance. He presses the lips into the narrow line and glances inside. The room is empty, nothing is holding him back from going in. 

It’s an old fashioned study room with a wooden table and a small library. Not a single extra stuff, only what there is a need to have in this kind of place. Except for one thing. A huge painting on the wall, just above the table. Ash blinks because he can’t get his eyes off that family portrait. A man who looks like an older version of Okumura, a woman with beautiful, but sad eyes and a boy. No older than five years old, with round cheeks and puffy lips. All of them look way too serious for the family picture, wearing traditional Japanese clothes.

The prestigious Okumura family. _ Then why while looking at this portrait Ash feels like reading a story with a very sad ending? _ Ash goes towards the table and looks at a book on it. He can’t understand a thing that’s written on it or what it’s about. Already since the last time, he had an idea that the boss likes reading. Ash’s lays the hand on the first drawer from the top and opens it. It’s full of files and he takes one out.

Ash hears a voice in the corridor, of course, in Japanese. The only word from it Ash understands is Eiji. 

Steps are getting closer.

There is no time to go back and pretend that he came here by accident. Ash freezes when he hears Okumura’s named mentioned. He recognizes Ibe’s voice, but it doesn’t help. Even Ibe won’t save him now. Ash like a child quickly hides under the table, but he wishes he had jumped out from the window. 

They enter the room and close the door, Ash holds his breath, but he’s worried that they might still hear his roaring like thunder heart. If someone comes from the other side of the table, Ash is dead. Here and now.

Ibe asks something again, and cold sweat runs down Ash’s spine. He grips the file harder between the fingers when the cold voice, which answers, belongs to no one else than Okumura Eiji. Ash had to know that this will happen. 

Last time he heard Okumura speaking was in that room, he moaned into Ash’s ear, left marks all over and gave what they both wanted the most.

_ For the love of…. why he is thinking about THAT now?? _

To be honest, even though Ash can’t understand, it’s the first time he hears Okumura talking with someone. Actually using sentences and not just some random words with commands. His voice is cold as always but sounds different. The boss doesn’t try to humiliate, only answers in an emotionless way. But that’s a lie. Okumura has feelings. That’s why. That’s why Ash keeps coming here. He can’t believe that Okumura doesn’t feel the same. _ Something different happened between them, how he can pretend? _

It’s not that interesting as Ash thought it will be. He understands some of the words but not the full context, also Ibe uses some kind of different vocabulary and accent, it’s hard to catch separate words. Okumura’s voice is like a glass, the pronunciation is clear, even though the voice still has a hint of the same deep darkness.

“アッシュ リンクスか” Okumura sighs.

Ash wakes up from the slumber when he hears it. Ash is perfectly aware of how his name sounds in Japanese. _ What they’re talking about? Why now? What about him? _ Ash can’t help just imagine how Okumura touches his bottom lip with fingers while speaking. The air suddenly shrinks. Ash needs to get out right now before he made any kind of noise.

As Ibe is speaking, Ash hears him coming closer. The sound of glass lays on the table and then a liquid pouring in it. For Ash’s scariest nightmare Ibe pulls the chair back and sits on it. Suddenly their eyes meet. Just for a split second. Ash is so tense as he imagines Ibe dragging him out and exposing to Okumura who already stands with the gun ready.

“何してるの？”

Ash Japanese knowledge is decent enough to understand that Okumura asks Ibe what is he doing. Ibe leans forward and takes the file from Ash’s hand then pushes the chair a little closer, this way closing Ash completely from both sides. 

Ash has to curl up into a ball when Ibe hits him softly with the shoe. Still better punishment than being shot dead. For some reason, Ibe is on his side, which makes Ash breathe a little bit easier.

Okumura and Ibe talk about something more, maybe about the file, maybe something else. It seems that Ash is sitting here for a century, he can’t feel legs and the right hand anymore. Finally the doors open.

“お休み、英二” Ibe doesn't move, neither Okumura answers, but soon the pressure inside the air is gone. Okumura left. The door closes.

They both keep silent for a moment longer and then Ibe pulls the chair back.

“You better give me a decent reason for that, Ash. And why you had that file in your hand?” 

Ibe speaks with a little bit lower voice, but that second Ash couldn’t care less. He can finally get out. Ash lays on the floor breathing fast and covers the mouth. A million stings are hitting all over the body, but he finally feels at least twenty percent safer.

“I was curious.” Ash doesn’t lie. He slowly sits and runs with fingers through the hair. “What were you talking about? I heard my name.”

“You’re lucky that it’s the only thing you understood. I would have killed you myself otherwise.” Ibe rolls his eyes and then passes his glass to Ash. It looks like an expensive-looking rum. Ash shakes the head. He doesn’t want to drink. “How many times I told you to stay away, Ash?”

“I’m a part of this clan. I live in the main territory and despite that, I’m treated like some criminal. Why? I just want equal rights. I saw the light from the outside so I thought….”

“Who is treating you badly here? You’ve your own house, assistants, you can go anywhere you want, you’re carrying the most prestigious tattoo among all yakuza in Japan, and still you’re unhappy? The only thing you’ve to do is stay away from Eiji. Is it hard to understand?” 

Ibe points with a glass at Ash. He doesn’t seem mad, probably during his years working for this family he had to handle even worse shit. Also, Ash is sure that Ibe trusts him just like everyone else here.

Except for Arthur. Or Okumura.

“I don’t want to stay away from him. I want him to acknowledge me.” Ash stares at Ibe with a serious look, and it’s enough him to believe in those words. Ibe laughs.

“You’re digging your own grave, kid,” Ibe warns him but doesn’t say anything else. Only his expression is tired of punks like Ash. As he also knows that everyone who tried to reach the boss before is dead. _ Of course_, he’s aware.

“Then help me.” Ash gets up and comes closer. “Sing, Blanca, Arthur and you… are close to him. How? Tell me what I’ve to do.”

Ibe doesn’t rush to answer, he enjoys the drink for a bit longer.

“No. Because I don’t want you to die.” After that Ibe stands up. “Wait for five minutes and then go out. Next time, I won’t be able to hide it for Eiji, so you better don’t try the luck. Goodnight.” he leaves turning off the light. Ibe doesn’t close the door so Ash won’t make any noise leaving.

The blond man stands in the darkness with a huge headache. This puzzle seems just too difficult. If he can’t come closer, then this hell will never end. Ash steps closer towards the door but then turns around to look at the painting on the wall again. It’s too dark to see it clearly but he can spot the shadows. Creepy. _ What kind of man the previous boss was? _

“Enjoying yourself?” 

Ash is not in time to turn around, because Okumura is already pressing the short knife against Ash’s throat. The boss kicks Ash’s spine with the knee, pressing down to the table.

“You think I wouldn’t notice? I know Ibe too well. Are you spying me, Lynx?.” he presses the knife stronger against the skin and Ash gas to hold back the groan. 

So he knew. He knew that Ash is under the table and that Ibe is hiding him. And did nothing. 

Ash doesn’t move, there is no point if Okumura wants to kill him he will. But Ash reached what he wanted. Okumura is here. Alone. Finally, after months, they’re again in the same room.

Okumura turns Ash around and presses against the table. Ash leans back, on his elbows. Boss’s breathing reaches Ash’s skin and he very obediently turns his head to the side, opening naked skin.

“Does it mean? Anything for you? That night?” Ash quietly asks. Because for him it does, the sparkle between them. Even though it’s made from pure hate, but it does exist. 

Okumura stabs with the knife just next to Ash’s head. _ Did he miss on purpose? _Ash doesn’t let any sound. He doesn’t want to be scared and he can’t be. He has to show Okumura he’s serious about it. That Ash is completely devoted to the boss. That he doesn’t want anyone else. That he’s ready to die just to taste Okumura again.

And this perfect lie is stuck so deep inside Ash, that he almost believes it himself. _ Why it’s so easy to pretend? _

“It happens only in the dark. You don’t touch me. You can’t cum inside. No kissing.” 

Ash just after a moment realizes that those are conditions he has to accept. Obvious that neither of them wants this to go somewhere further then it has to. Ash also has something to tell, but he’s not the one making the rules here and he doesn’t want to ruin what he has now. 

“Fine with me.” Ash's serious voice sets the deal between them. 

They end up on a chair at the table, with Ash tied up the same way as the last time. Ash doesn’t see anything more here than an act between to enemies, who can’t explain their heat for each other. It does feel amazing, not so painful as the first time, but Okumura is still completely in control. He rides Ash and dictates the insane rhythm. This time Ash hears Okumura for sure, the painful moan coming from the throat. Hurt deep inside. 

Okumura wants it. The pain. Otherwise, he never agreed on this.

Ash is sure that no one knows what’s happening between Okumura and him, or maybe they know but they can’t show it. At least until the boss kicks Ash out, just like he did with others before. Ash gets along with everyone in the clan except for Arthur. Ash is sure Arthur has some suspicions, but without proof those stinky hands of his are empty. Ash still hangs out with Ibe after work, who seems happy that he finally stopped asking questions about the boss. With Sing, they meet in the residence territory and chat. Ash finally starts using Japanese himself and gathers enough knowledge to control the business without any interference. He has the respect and absolute trust of the team. Sometimes he goes to the same meetings as Okumura and just stands behind Ibe pretending to be his shadow. The boss doesn’t even look at Ash’s side. They don’t exist for each other. 

Okumura gives orders and it’s obvious that his system is unbreakable and absolute. He knows every single detail, Okumura is intelligent and fast. Ash has seen how he orders to kill people. Ash saw him stepping oh his victims before ending them. Absolute dominant in every situation, finding a solution within a second. 

Ash hates to see Okumura so close to Arthur. That prick also had a strong team with a foreigner Eduardo Foxx as his right hand. Ash couldn’t decide which one is more annoying. 

And no matter what, the night always comes, when the darkness hides Okumura’s face and Ash can’t tell anymore who he is.

Ash starts visiting the main house almost every night. Enters through the window like a thief, just to find Okumura waiting in the same room with vinyl. It’s the same armchair and same restrictions, same heat, same passion and same loose of control over and over. _ They fuck. _ There’s no other word for this. Okumura is on top, he’s the beginning and then end of everything and Ash doesn’t realize when he becomes addicted to that fast breathing of his, to the smell of sex. Okumura lets their faces touch, and exchange sounds. That’s as close as they can get. The way their existence changes at night doesn't make a difference, because as soon as Okumura leaves Ash sitting there alone all of it seems like a dream. Unreal. Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura were not together. Their connection is nothing more than hallucination that they both created for selfish reasons. 

How many times Ash fucked with the boss, how many times he was so deep inside and made that graceful body tremble in his arms. Ash didn’t have a clue, he stopped counting. But lived for it. For those secret moments that Okumura gave him. _ But why? _

Then the spring came and the gardens turned bright pink. But the new season brought together a curse. The Lee clan killed at least five men from Okumura clan and the open war started. 

It seems it’s not the first time, but Ash has never seen anything so brutal in his life. Ash tried to protect his people, but no one was safe anymore. Traitors in every corner, friends stabbing each other’s back. The breakpoint was when they tried to attack the boss himself. 

Of course, Sing took care of everyone, but the risk went above their power. And Okumura Eiji hates to lose. Ash was there, when the strongest leader in Japan, their leader, heartlessly took control in his hands. Everyone who gave him at least a little bit of suspicion where eliminated from the clan, one after another until the arrow turned at Ash.

He thought he’s safe because they’re fucking each other. Ash thought that Okumura would never let Ash do it without trusting him first. It lasted for more than three months now. Ash thought it’s enough. But it wasn’t. 

Going back home from the meeting, the driver takes a different path.

“Where are we going?” Ash asks for Ibe, but the man doesn’t reply. He seemed today off a bit, but Ash didn’t give it a second thought until now. “Ibe?”

“Arthur saw you talking with someone in the street last week.” he finally answers but doesn’t even glance at Ash. There is no point anymore. “He told to Eiji.”

“What?” Ash unconsciously grabs on the handle, but of course, the door doesn’t open. They’re driving Ash to his funeral. “It’s bullshit! Arthur’s lying. I haven’t met anyone and you freaking know it!”

“You think Arthur dared to lie to the boss?” Ibe’s expression and voice changes, he presses the lips into a narrow line. 

“Of course! That fucker hates me from the moment I broke his nose. Sing knows it! Ibe, what the hell, seriously?” Ash turned at him. He can’t accept this so easily.

“Either way, your word means nothing against his. Sorry, Ash, it’s already decided. If you try to run away, I’ll pull the trigger.” Ibe answers without any emotions as a perfect soldier. But Ash sees it in Ibe’s eyes that it’s not what he really thinks.

Ash leans back to the seat and freezes. _ That’s it? The end? Where are they taking him? Should Ash stop hiding? Maybe his undercover ends here and now? _He can take away a gun from Ibe, kill him, driver and run away. Drive to the nearest police station and put the end for this. But Ash sits staring at one spot until the car stops. He knows the place. That’s the abandoned self-storage unit near the shore. The door from Ash’s side opens. He glances at Ibe, but it doesn’t seem that he’ll go together.

It’s one of the guards that Ash knows very well. A few times they even talked. Ash doesn’t ask, he just starts walking towards the narrow path. That’s the death they chose for him. _ Who will kill him? Some random guards? Sing? Or that bastard Arthur himself? _

He’s definitely here. Ash gets sick from his presence even before he notices that bastard. No way Arthur would miss Ash's death. The last court. Ash should be honored. There are at least ten guards including Sing. _ Do they think he’s so dangerous? _ They may not be wrong, but Ash’s clock is ticking, he has to do something now. Say something. Protect himself. Sing might listen to him. But he doesn’t even look at Ash. Every last of them are loyal only to the boss.

One of the storage rooms is opened. Okumura stands there and stares at Ash without any expression on his face. With the same vibe of darkness and power. And there is no other way, Ash knows the answer. He’s dead. No matter what happened between them, for Okumura it means nothing. Everything will stay in that room, in the darkness, and will be forgotten as soon as the boss presses the trigger. And he will. Ash sees it in Okumura’s face. It’s no different from the one he made before killing others.

Ash turns at him, goes inside and kneels on the cold floor. _ Why he does that? What for? Why does it hurt to realize that Okumura still doesn’t trust him after all? _

Okumura kicks in Ash’s stomach with no mercy, he does it again and again, until Ash falls on the side until the blood comes from his lips and view becomes blurry. That’s revenge after all. Hatred burned Okumura’s heart so deep that he became less than human. Only through pain, only his masochistic desire to be pounded deeply. 

Okumura’s hate is like Vulcano, pressured by hot, almost boiling magma, that had enough heat to melt even the hardest steel. It’s growing with every second, as it expands, destroying Ash’s future. And it kills, from the deep inside, every cell. It makes Ash believe that he’ll get what he deserves. Ash coughs on his blood and groans when Okumura steps on his chest and leans forward pointing the gun at Ash’s mouth.

“I’m the best damn thing you will ever see. The last thing your traitor’s eyes see, Lynx.” 

Okumura never bothers talking before, but he does now. Ash has to use this chance.

“I didn’t betray you, boss. I never will.” he quietly swears as their eyes meet. It never happened before, as Okumura doesn’t bother to look at Ash. But this is last Ash’s wish and he grants it.

The boss stands there just glaring, burning down Ash’s existence. Ash for his surprise tries to remember every feature of his. Everything from the long black coat, until the ripped jeans and sweater, Ash tries to memorize the shape of Okumura’s fingers and the family ring on the right hand. Ash has the last chance to look at that man. He notices every feature of that strict and breathtaking face. Okumura’s dark hair falling on expressive eyes, his piercings on his left ear. He doesn’t always wear them, but he could. Such rebellion. Such power. Okumura is great, Ash feels like at least, in the end, he has to agree on that. 

How many times he had this body on him, how many times graved his shape inside this man? And now he dies for him? This moment had to be different, but Ash can’t think of anything else.

Okumura touches Ash’s bottom lip with the gun and then turns it around. Ash is not sure why, but he slowly raises the hand to take it.

“Boss!!” Sing shouts, but too late. Ash is a way faster. 

He points the gun and presses the trigger not turning his eyes away.

Okumura is satisfied. He steps back, even though nothing happened. 

Ash is breathing loudly. He lets go of the gun pointed at his own head. It loudly falls on the floor. The gun was unloaded. How did Ash know? He didn’t.

Ash covers his eyes, listening to the strong heartbeat. Someone from behind helps him to get up. It was a challenge that only Okumura knew about. Others are as same surprised as Ash. But that’s a victory in every possible way. He didn’t betray the boss.

_ No one can understand that man until the end. _

  
  


Evening comes and it’s still hard to believe that what happened is true. Ash takes a walk thinking about it. _ Maybe Okumura is hiding so much more under that mask? Maybe everything is not just because of pain? And Ash? What will happen when the time to betray this clan comes? _

The phone vibrates in the pocket of his jacket and Ash answers without thinking. At this time most of the shippings were going on. So he’s ready to hear someone from his team.

“Jade.” The voice wakes him up.

Shorter. Ash didn’t even think about him today when he was about to die. Only about Okumura.

“Aslan?” he calls him again when Ash doesn’t answer. 

“Shorter… it’s not the best time to call,” he answers quietly, but the voice doesn’t sound natural. _ How he could forget about Shorter? Not even a single thought?? _

“Something is about to happen. I want to ask you to stay away from it as far as possible. Don’t become–”

“What are you talking about??” Ash interrupts. _ Isn’t this already a war? _

“How close are you to Okumura? Did anything happened between you?” Shorter continues dropping these suspicious questions as if he knew the truth.

“What–”

“Just answer the damn question, Aslan!” he shouts and Ash takes a pause before answering.

“Of course nothing happened. What could have happened?” It’s so easy to lie for Shorter. And Ash hates himself for that.

“Good. Don’t go near him, he’s a freaking psychopath and masochist. He first killed a person at the age of six and–”

“How you know this kind of information??” Ash again can’t hide the surprise. It’s not something a member of Lee clan should know. Ash is more surprised by this than the fact that Okumura killed someone when he was a child.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m worried about you, Aslan. I am. They killed three of my men half a year ago. They had nothing to do anything with the fight between clans. Okumura doesn’t care who will die, as long as he satisfies himself. Please, Ash. Stay away. Please.” he talks fast with a bit hoarse voice. “He’s not a nice leader. He’s just a killer.”

“What do you suggest? I can’t retreat now, Shorter. I’m too deep in this mess, just like you. And I’m fine.” Ash can’t explain why his blood suddenly boils and he wants to scream at Shorter back. Tell him, that it’s not the truth, that Okumura is a perfect clan leader, he’s organized, smart and knows what he’s doing. But Ash can’t.

“For now I’m just asking not to get involved with what is about to come.” Shorter takes a deep breath because Ash doesn’t answer. “You… you’re important to me. I’m doing this for you, believe me. Everything is for you, Jade.”

“Shorter…” 

Friend’s words somehow touch deeper than they had to. Ash is not sure what to answer. Of course, Shorter is his best friend, brother and the most important person in this world. In another world where Aslan used to live. But here everything is different. He’s different. Here Ash’s fights for Okumura, so he can’t answer the same to Shorter.

“Promise me. I don’t ask anything else.” Shorter almost begs.

“I’ll be alright. And I’ll never betray you, Shorter. I hope you know. So don’t sound like I’m about to.” Ash answers finally honestly, as he doesn’t realize that he already is breaking every promise they made.

“Of course I know. Bros before everything, right?”

Ash is guilty. It hurts. It hurts to lose Shorter the most.

“Yeah. I really can’t talk, Shorter, they might see me, and you probably are aware of the war.”

“Everything will change soon, Aslan….”

Ash bites his bottom lip and looks up. There is a light coming from the backyard.

“Goodbye.” he doesn’t wait for Shorter’s answer and ends the call. 

It feels awful, but some naive part inside still hopes that after everything is over, things will go back to how they were before.

Ash goes towards the light until the view opens for him. Okumura holding a big bow with an arrow pointing to the target at the other side of the yard. Ash saw that kind of clothes before. It’s a traditional wear for Japanese martial arts. Except that Okumura is almost half-naked, wearing a bottom part and half of the top. His left arm, half of the chest and back are naked, tense muscles, eyes focused. The light falls on his tattoo on the back and the red dragon moves, together with the shadows and his breathing. Ash stretches his back because this view makes him feel powerful too. A Deity. He didn’t know Okumura is doing archery, but it suits him perfectly, exposing all the sensitive parts Okumura is hiding. A different person. 

Okumura releases the string with the arrow and a loud sound pierces the air. Ash doesn’t even glance if he hit the target, he doesn’t care. The boss lets his hands down. Ash begs to see something on his face, anything. But doesn’t. It’s blank. Even if Okumura does something, not for work, he doesn’t feel.

“Why?” Ash asks out loud. They both know what he’s asking about.

Okumura doesn’t even flinch, he probably was aware of him being here.

“You could have killed me then… but you didn’t. Why?” Ash asks again, but it’s impossible. 

Okumura won’t talk with him. It’s not something he does with people. He walks away as if Ash’s voice would be nothing more than wind. Okumura hangs the bow to its place and opens the door next to it. He doesn’t have to call him, Ash is already following. They enter. It’s too dark to see when the doors are closed.

Both of them end up in this small storage room, which just shrank, even more, making Ash breath in through the teeth, as he tries to hide the tension in every cell of his. Ash wants to be indifferent. Show to Okumura, that someone even with an ego like his, doesn’t have enough power everywhere, with whoever he wants. Especially after what happened today. Ash wants to speak back, to hear the truth.

_ Do you think you’re safe? You’re his slut now, just like others were. And when the boss will get rid of you. I’ll be the one who cuts your head off. _This time for no reason Arthur’s words were crossing Ash’s mind, again and again, stuck on repeat like one of those bloody vinyl that Okumura loves so much. Back then Ash laughed to Arthur’s face, denying his bullshit and imagining how that man crawls in the jail, once everything will be over. But.

How many times since then did Ash and Okumura end up like this?

Ash doesn’t lean in. He doesn’t make for Okumura easier to reach and use him as the tool for masochistic satisfaction. Yet. Okumura steps closer and almost gently brush Ash’s hair from the face, then moves in so close, that Ash can feel every muscle. For the first time, Ash senses Okumura's naked skin against his.

“Sit down.” the boss orders pressing the lips to a sensitive spot, just next to Ash’s hair. 

Ash trembles. From hate. From desire. Sit down? He would just knock Okumura down, press against the wall and fuck hard until he starts screaming, or until shows at least a small hint of any feelings in the face. Until he tells him the words, that Ash has to hear. But this will never happen, as Okumura’s voice paralyze Ash, until the point where he's not able to control himself. Ash obeys, even if every second of this is wrong. Like always.

As soon as Ash sits on the chair, Okumura straddles his legs and the room shrinks again. It seems that they are in the box of passion, and the universe ends exactly here. Ash knows the rules, they never change. Not a word spoken as neither of them will ever agree to lose this game. Ash leans forward and presses the lips against Okumura’s torso, which is covered with clothing. Under the soft material, he feels the warmth. The place he has no right to touch.

“Boss…” he sighs into Okumura’s body, into that rich intoxicating scent. 

Ash never said anything similar before, they don’t speak, only act, but he can’t resist. He wants to hate that body. _ But does he for real? Where is the truth? Why only leaning on Okumura feels so much better than talking with Shorter just a moment ago? Why. _ Ash hates this shivering air around them. Hates that Okumura was his first, that Ash became the addicted one. He hates to think about the end.

Ash is fast to pull down his pants, it takes longer for Okumura because of the complicated clothing style. But the material falls and Ash has to bite his lower lip to hold back from touching the skin. 

Ash is so hard and the tip of his erection is dripping wet. His wrist has to be tied down, but instead of it Okumura grabs on Ash’s shoulders and sits on him. Ash stretches his insides, perfectly knowing the shape and the heat. Okumura pulls down Ash’s jacket. He raises the hands so the boss could take off the shirt too. When Okumura leans forward, Ash moans from that blessing burning skin, breathing, raising heart. It feels incredibly good. He has to grab on the edge of the chair because otherwise, he would just keep grip Okumura’s skin between the fingers. He would squeeze it hard and rip him apart, give all the pain that Okumura is so craving for.

Okumura moves up and down slowly. Torturing. Again. Ash’s dick is twitching inside him so hard, that he could cum any second. Okumura leans down and makes everything worse, he takes Ash’s skin between his lips. These parts became so sensitive, that Ash is already in ecstasy. Ash moves hips and goes deep inside, where he likes the most. Okumura is so tight around him, so perfectly fitting.

“Harder. Do me harder, Lynx.” he licks Ash’s skin with a hard bite on the jaw and Ash obeys to this supreme order. 

Okumura hugs Ash, press forehead to the shoulder and moves fast, shoving all the length in and then moving back. Ash hands hanging next to the sides are shivering like never. It’s really hard to control his body in these circumstances.

“Harder. Harder. Fuck me hard.” Okumura whispers over and over again against Ash’s skin. 

And he does, _ oh God_, how badly he wants to do it even more. How badly this voice drives Ash insane. 

Suddenly Ash realizes that it’s the first time Okumura’s lower part is naked and against his skin. The boss has never pulled down his pants completely before.

It’s strange. Something is odd.

Ash doesn’t feel it. Shivering. Twitching. Throbbing Heat. Hardness. Okumura doesn’t have an erection. There is no mutual desire. Okumura is not feeling it. At least not in a sexual way. Okumura was never attracted to Ash that way. _ Then why? Why he was doing this? _

It’s all fake. It’s never been real.

Suddenly Ash grabs Okumura’s hips and stops him. The mistake is done. Okumura is fast to retreat. The fact that Ash touched him, cut the last thread between them. 

_ He’s psychopath and masochist. _

Okumura leaves Ash fast as always and slams the door, shutting Ash from his life. The passion they had… the heat. _ Was it always just one-sided? Only Ash’s imagination? Is Okumura impotent? or just… not able to feel in any circumstances? _

Either way, Ash broke the rules. Everything is over. 

Ash waited for something to happen. For Okumura coming and ending Ash’s existence. But even after three days, nothing happens. Again Ash realized that sex was nothing more for Okumura than a way to reach the pain. He was never seeking for pleasure. Okumura is not able to feel any sort of emotions. And maybe Ash is not the only one the boss uses for this. _ Why suddenly Shorter’s words make sense? What if he’s right? _

Ash hears the knock on the door and doesn’t think much before opening. It’s Sing dressed too formally for this late hour.

“Let’s go.” he moves back from the door.

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood.” 

_ Isn’t Ash's dead glare enough? _

“It’s an order, not a request.” Sing slowly shakes his head, and Ash understands that he doesn’t have a choice. 

What now? 

He takes the leather jacket and goes towards the car, sits in. But Okumura sitting at the other side makes him want to jump out immediately. Ash wasn’t ready, but it’s too late. The car starts going.

Okumura is dressed a little bit too warm for this season. But his clothes are formal and he doesn’t show any signs of confusion. Right. He’s like that. 

“Where are we going?” Ash doesn’t even look at him. Ash can’t tell what inside him changed, but actually, he doesn’t give a shit about the location.

Either way, he doesn’t get an answer. _ How else. _

They are going in silence for a long time. The tension is gone. Ash doesn’t tremble anymore like he used to. It’s cold. Something died at that moment. Some hope. Something Ash naively believed it. That Okumura Eiji wants him. No way Ash was ever in control. 

They finally stop and Ash gets out first. Airport. He watches how Sing opens the door for Okumura. The boss goes towards a small plane. The pilot and other guards are already waiting. 

“What the fuck is going on, Sing?” Ash quickly used the chance to ask.

“Lee sent a letter to the boss suggesting friendship. We’re going to meet the Lee clan.”

“Bullshit.” Ash wanted to shout and ask if is Okumura out of his mind but somehow managed not to. 

_ Friendship with a clan who started a war?? With their greatest enemy?? _

_ And why Okumura is taking Ash together? _

“Of course it’s bullshit. Don’t worry, the boss knows what he’s doing. He’s going there to kill. I can tell.” Sing nods.

“He wants to kill the clan head?” Ash doesn’t know should he laugh or Sing is deadly serious.

“And every last man of his.” Sing smirks, and just for a second Ash notices some strange shadow on Sing’s face. _ He also doesn’t agree with this stupid idea, right? _

_ But once Okumura has something in mind, can someone change it? Can someone stop him? _

_ Every last of them. _

_ Shorter. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know what happens when you pour gasoline in an open fire? When you drop a pack of Mentos inside the bottle of Coca-Cola?  
The next chapter gonna give you some answers.  
Chinese triad is no joke. But neither is Okumura.


	4. Triad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Text in italic font: events from almost 10 years ago  
There are a lot of triggers for the chapter as always, but probably the major ones, just in case: plane crash, rape attempt, deep psychological trauma  
Thanks to an amazing translator, who got interested in this story, this fic is now also available in Russian. Link in the summary!

_ “Where is he??” Blanca grabs on Arthur’s shirt and shakes him a few times. _

_ That guy is probably the calmest from all of them. But when the talk turns about Okumura Eiji everyone, even he, loses control. _

_ “I told you already… I don’t know.” Arthur shrugs, turning his head away from this huge and intimidating man. _

_ “Let him go, Sergei…” Ibe sighs rubbing the nose bridge. _

_ He is tired of this endless chase. It’s been three days since boss went missing. Usually, after running away he shows back the next a day or so. The worst part of this, that they can’t ask anyone else for help. _

_ “Shit, I told you long ago, we shouldn’t have brought him to New York! I had enough of…” Blanca swears again but doesn’t end the sentence. _

_ Arthur can guess what kind of words he wants to use, but even as a teenager, boss is more important than they will ever be. _

_ “One day, he’ll understand. But until then, we have to keep him safe. You do understand how important this is, Frederick, right? I’ll call a few people again.” Ibe breaths out and then walks towards the telephone on the table. “Find him.” _

_ Arthur leaves the residence as fast as he can. It’s always his fault if boss disappears. As if Arthur could stop him, even if he wanted. As if boss listens to anyone else than himself. _

_ Arthur knows that clan members are following, he is not stupid. He stops at a few places to mislead them and then takes the subway. After several hours Arthur pushes heavy garage door to the side and enters _

_ “I got the thing you asked from the house, boss...” Arthur stares for a moment at the open view. _

_ Boss is lying on the old massage table half-naked, on his stomach, holding the head on his arms. The tattoo guy he met less than two weeks ago is drawing something on his back. _

_ “Good…” boss sighs, not even glancing at Arthur’s side. “It’s enough for today, I need to do something now.” _

_ Boss addresses the guy and that man leans forward to kiss his naked shoulder. Arthur quickly looks away. _

_ “You’re my piece of art… the most beautiful of all.” the guy mutters, but for Arthur, it seems like he shouts all across the place. _

_ If something that man might give to boss - it's a disease. _

_ When Arthur looks again, the boss is already sitting, legs warped around that man’s thighs deeply kissing. His whole back is marked with outlines shaping a huge dragon. Before leaving the place, Arthur is moved by some odd vibe only by looking at that blurry drawing. He rushes to walk outside and slams the door. _

_ Boss comes 10 minutes after, already covering his top with a faded black t-shirt and yawns, while stretching arms. Arthur glances at messy black hair, multiple piercings - in his ears, eyebrow and the new one in his tongue. He got a dumb habit to play with it sometimes - always triggers. _

_ “What is it? So did you get it? Give it to me.” He frowns at Arthur. _

_ The man only shakes head and gives the Glock for the boss. Only a few seconds of their eye contact is enough for Arthur to know. Boss's pupils are so wide that the brown color is almost gone - he is high again, and not on weed. Something else. _

_ They walk through the narrow streets drowned in the disgusting smell of the city in silence. _

_ Arthur opens the mouth after some time. _

_ “I thought you’re not serious with that guy...” _

_ “I’m not. He gives me what I want, I give him what he needs. That’s it.” _

_ Is he talking about tattoo or drugs? Arthur remembers how it started - this rebellion against the clan. After the previous head got killed, the young boss became very silent. He followed all the instructions by Ibe, as he became the temporary head. One day, during his kendo practice, the boss got injured. He didn’t feel any pain even though he started bleeding. This lead to multiple medical tests after which the doctor stated results: they couldn’t find anything wrong. They couldn’t explain why he doesn’t feel pain. They told him that everything is only inside his head. Arthur knew the truth. It wasn’t just about that pain. Boss couldn't feel anything at all. _

_ Boss was 14 when they moved to States, so he could learn about the second branch of Okumura clan, responsible for the drugs. It all started with a bad company after the school and shared joint of weed. Boss said it made him feel something, even if he couldn’t describe what. Arthur joined him without complaints because it didn’t seem so bad at first. But once boss felt the sense of freedom everything changed with it. Now as he is closer and closer to seventeen Arthur most of the time couldn’t even tell what he's thinking of doing next. _

_ “Wait…” Boss stops Arthur with his hand and takes out a black mouth face mask from the pocket, puts it on. _

_ Arthur is not so much at the risk, but boss can be quickly recognized by someone. Arthur is sure he was careful enough while coming here. At first, he thinks that the boss is just hallucinating, but as they are reaching one of the dark alleyways he also hears it. _

_ It’s a girl's voice. Screams. But they sound like from underwater… as if someone is trying to keep her mouth shut. There is also men's voice, at least two. Arthur doesn’t have a clue who they are, or how dangerous they might be. He intends to stop boss, but it’s too late. Boss runs to the alley and takes his butterfly knife out, it hits one of the men's shoulders. There are three Chinese punks. The big guy groans and loses his balance, as at that moment he was trying to spread the girl’s legs. _

_ “Boss! Shiiiit!” _

_ Arthur swears, running after him and attacks the other guy, while boss is dealing with two at the same time. They’re not strong enough to handle them. Arthur glances at boss as soon as he has the chance. One of the guys is holding his arms behind the back and another one punches into the stomach. Arthur tries to get rid of his opponent, but he’s just too good. _

_ Suddenly the air is pierced by a gunshot and everything stops. Boss somehow managed to release himself and everyone freeze when he aims at the same big guy that he injured before. Arthur knows boss well. He would fight until they can’t walk but he would never kill someone if there is another way. _

_ “One day, you pigs… When you won't expect it at all… I will splash your brains, for what you did.” _

_ Three of them don’t have a choice. They run away swearing and Arthur sits on the ground, holding on his hurt cheek. They barely made out of this mess. What for? _

_ “Fucking Wong and his shitty gang…” Boss takes off the mask and cleans the blood from the lips, then hides the gun. “Let’s go.” _

_ “How… about the girl?” Arthur glances at her for the first time. _

_ She is very short and looks more like a child than a teenager. Dark long hair and wide-open brown eyes. She has pretty features. Arthur kind of understands why those guys tried to hit on her, even though it doesn’t change the fact, that it’s disgusting. Her top is ripped off, so she sits pressing her naked back against the wall and trying to cover herself with knees and arms. It doesn’t seem that they went all the way through. _

_ “What?” it takes boss a few moments to realize what Arthur is asking about. “I’ll get revenge for you, don’t worry.” he looks at the girl, who continues staring “But not today, I can’t waste my bullets on them. Go back to mommy and daddy.” _

_ “My clothes…” she starts but doesn’t finish. She is still in shock but has some guts, as he keeps staring at boss without any shame. _

_ Arthur is sure that boss doesn’t care about that a tall, but he must be so high that, instead of laughing, he takes off his black t-shirt, leaving himself half-naked, and throws it for her. _

_ “Turn around,” she mutters again. _

_ “Don’t worry, I’m gay and this guy is impotent.” boss casually points at Arthur. _

_ “I’m not---” he sighs, but the girl keeps staring at both of them until they turn their backs. _

_ “Your tattoo…” _

_ After a moment, when she speaks, and they turn back at her, boss's eyes are already questioning the purpose of her existence. She is so short, that t-shirt looks dress on her. Even when boss leans a bit forward, she barely reaches his shoulder. _

_ “It’s so cool! I bet it’s not finished, but I can imagine the whole design… like a huge flower and the flames until---” _

_ “How old are you? Thirteen?” he interrupts her, obviously not listening. _

_ “Almost seventeen!” she makes that pouty expression and looks even more like a child. _

_ “What kind of mushrooms did you use…?” Boss grins and then turns away. “Anyway, you have my t-shirt, so now you’ll go with me.” _

_ As a girl, who got almost raped, she is either too brave, stupid, or doesn’t give a damn about life, but Arthur is kind of impressed. Only when he comes a bit closer and she rushes to the side, Arthur realizes that she is still scared as hell. Anyway, judging from her looks, she must be rich. _

_ They reach the hideout, which they call The Pit, in silence and walk inside. Around 15 people turn at them to greet boss but only drop their mouths when the girl comes inside with them. _

_ “What---” _

_ “If someone lays a finger on her, you're dead. She’s with me.” boss warns, and everyone nods as one. “Anything new?” he asks glaring at the guy on the other side of the room. _

_ “Yeah, the gang from the west again tried to take a part of our territory so…” _

_ “So we are going there tomorrow and will kick their ass.” _

_ Boss plays with the piercing in his tongue, while walking towards another room. Arthur follows him. Marion doesn’t know what to do but decides to run after because it must be better than staying with 15 guys in the same room. _

_ Boss falls on the old couch and takes a joint from the metal box on the table. _

_ “Want some?” he pushed the box toward the girl, but she quickly shakes her head, making Arthur grin. He surely won’t refuse to take one, because his face hurts like hell. _

_ Boss lies down on his back and lights the joint, as he inhales deeply closes his eyes and almost smiles. Arthur sits on the seat next to the window. _

_ “So… what’s your story?” Boss talks after a minute. _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ Arthur watches how she hugs herself around the waist and lets her eyes down. _

_ “Why would you come with two guys to a place full of someone who can also rape you?” boss continues with an empty voice. _

_ He doesn’t see her, but Arthur notices how she flinched after the word “rape”. _

_ “I just don’t want to go back home… my family doesn’t understand me. I’m not, who they want me to be.” _

_ “Liar.” He laughs out loud and moves a bit so he could see her. “I saw you stalking me at school. You intentionally came to these streets to search for me, didn’t you? You have to learn how to protect yourself if you want to survive here.” _

_ She suddenly blushes and steps back. Arthur didn’t even notice that girl like her excited. But they were in a private and very expensive school. That means she must come from a rich family. _

_ “I’m not lying. My family sucks. My parents hate me, they make me do things I’ll never agree to.” she takes a deep breath, but doesn’t admit about being a stalker even though it’s pretty obvious. _

_ “Did your father used to beat you until you fainted, since the time you started walking? Did he use to rape your mother and then killed her in front of your eyes? Did you see how your father was murdered and you felt happy about it? Did they made you kill the one who did it?” _

_ Boss gets up from the couch and walks towards her, talking faster and faster, as the girl stares holding her breath. Arthur never heard him like that before. When the girl slowly shakes her head, the boss licks his lips and takes a joint between them, inhales deeply before speaking. _

_ “You’re just a spoiled brat, who doesn’t know how to hold her shit together.” _

_ She stares at him. Probably for the first time in her life someone acts with her like that. Not like with a princess. _

_ Arthur waits for her to turn around and dramatically leave, but her eyes slowly fill with another feeling. Arthur saw it everyone’s eyes, who work for boss. It’s courage and respect. She chased after boss, because she had a goal, not because she wanted to show off. Arthur sighs, he is almost sure boss will never allow a girl to join their gang. She is too weak. _

_ “Then let me learn. How to hold my shit together.” _

_ Boss sights at Arthur and then back at her before he burst into laughter. It’s fake like always, but weed helps him to relax. _

_ Her eyes fill up with tears pretty quickly after that. What happened to her, also boss throwing cruel facts - everything joined together. Arthur didn’t have much experience dealing with girls, but that couldn’t be a good sign. _

_ “I’m not saying that your story is less worthy than mine, I’m saying… if I managed to stand back, so can you. My family also wants me to become who I’m not, so I said to go and fuck themselves.” he softly pats her head and then returns to the couch. “There is a shower and some towels over there. You can keep the t-shirt.” _

_ She doesn’t say another word, probably ashamed of her reaction, runs into the bathroom. Arthur almost thinks that he started to hallucinate. _

_ “Seriously, boss? Why???” _

_ “She kind of reminds me of my sister…” he blinks few times looking at one spot and makes Arthur even more confused. _

_ “What sister?? You don’t have one!” _

_ He should stop smoking that shit before it gets worse. _

_ “But I imagine that she could be the same brat… My mother was pregnant when Akihito killed her.” he ends and crushes the joint in the ashtray. “I will take a nap before I jumped into a sad train. Don’t let her go to another room until I wake up.” _

_ Arthur slowly nods. Boss never said it before. It took years for Arthur to learn that stories about his mother's suicide were lies. Also, no one knew that the previous boss used to beat him. _

_ As soon as boss got to learn how to relax with the help of drugs, he started the rebellion against everyone. He shouted at them, that he will never be a part of this shit clan and if they want, they can burn everything down. Obviously, no one accepted this, and that’s how the endless chase began. Sometimes they catch this wild beast and tame him for a few days, but he always finds his way back here, to the street gang. Arthur was always there for him since childhood but never managed to become something so close, as this random girl in an hour. Boss never actually notices him. _

_ Arthur breaths out irritated and stands up to cover boss with a blanket. _

_ The girl comes out after half an hour with moist hair and a towel on her shoulders. _

_ “He just fell asleep?” she glances at him and blinks few times. _

_ Arthur doesn’t reply, he leans back on the seat and just groans. She is here to ruin his mood. Could have stayed in that freaking bathroom longer. _

_ Suddenly boss whines for a second time during this period. This time tears appear in the corners of his eyes, as he covers himself more in the blanket. He shivers and silently painfully moans again. _

_ “Is he having a nightmare?? Should we wake him up?” the girl watches him as she pinches the t-shirt between her fingers a little bit harder. _

_ “Don’t. Or he’ll be upset. Believe me, you don’t want to see him upset.” Arthur frowns at her with a warning, because he also not in the mood to get beaten. _

_ “But…” _

_ “He’s always like that, got it? He can’t feel anything that’s why he smokes weed like a chimney and gets into fights every day. The only time when he becomes a bit like a human is when he sleeps. So let’s keep it that way. And never mention him about the nightmares. Also, if I were you I would get the fuck out from here before he wakes up. He won’t be high anymore.” Arthur tries to scare her on purpose mixing a little bit darker colors of reality, but this girl doesn’t even move. She keeps looking at boss for a bit longer and then slowly nods. _

_ Arthur deeply sighs. _

_ “What’s your name?” she asks again after a pause. _

_ “Arthur for you. And he's boss, don’t call him by any other name, got it? But why don’t you get out, I’m serious.” _

_ “I don’t want to. I want to learn from him…” she doesn’t give up and it bothers Arthur even more. _

_ “Learn what? How to kill?” he laughs crossing legs and showing her with a hand to walk away. _

_ “No… how to be free.” she tucks one of the loose hair strands behind the ear, then walks to the window. _

_ “You think he’s free? He’s a next heir of the most dangerous yakuza clan in Japan.” Arthur doesn’t know what is pulling him to speak. Perhaps weed is still kicking in. Or maybe he’s trying to show off. “Also he’s already damaged enough, and someone like you will never understand someone like him.” _

_ The girl seems stubborn to keep her choice and stay. She may have had suspicions that he’s something more than a gang leader, but probably her mind didn’t reach for so deeply. Despite that she ignores the fact about his psychological condition, she really thinks it’s all just a game. _

_ “I don’t think he’s a bad person if that’s what you want me to think… Arthur.” _

_ “You freaking stalker…” Arthur wants to kick her but finds himself smiling way too wide. She will die in this gang or runs away after a week. Arthur is sure about it. “What’s your name?” _

_ “Marion.” She sits down on the window stool and looks at boss when he silently cries again. “Can I tell you something…?” _

_ “You’re annoying as fuck already... but what?” Arthur is not very interested, but if she starts crying again, it will be worse. _

_ “Your fashion taste… It is really bad. Doesn’t match you at all.” _

_ This…. little French bitch. _

_ Arthur waits for boss to kick her out, but it doesn’t happen. Even though he keeps looking at the girl for longer than necessary, after he wakes up, but leaves to the bathroom without saying a word. Arthur waits for boss to notice what kind of brat she is, but he’s having more fun than ever. Sometimes he gets so tired from her endless talks and swearing in French that even drugs are not necessary. Boss is platonic for everyone, but at the same time hyped for action and since Marion agrees with everything, he sees that girl as some sort of his unborn or maybe even non-existing sister. _

_ He shuts her mouth with the palm when she talks too much and always rests his arms on her head like she would be a shelf. He even lets her choose his clothes and encourages to do the same for the whole gang. Arthur doesn’t want to admit for a long time, but he hasn’t seen boss this alive since forever. Probably since the thing with Griffin happened. Marion is a pain in the ass but somehow fitted in. _

_ But no matter what, no one can’t stop Okumura clan chasing after boss. He is dragged back and forward and keeps running from that place until, finally, Ibe sort of gives up, and states that as long as he keeps going to school, boss can have his way. But even then, boss tells them to fuck off, and Arthur genuinely can’t imagine what could ever make him want to become a head of Okumura clan. Eiji Okumura will never be a yakuza. Arthur is sure that they all should just give up. _

_ In addition to that, he’s suffering from insomnia. But once boss manages to fall asleep - he screams. No one ever mentions him that, but everyone knows, that it's getting worse. He whines for help and cries in agony with the voice of a boy that members of the clan have killed. _

_ Sometimes when boss thinks that Arthur or Marion doesn’t see, he grabs on the head and sobs loudly speaking to someone begging them to “Shut up”. _

_ Not everyone knows who he is for real. The rest sees boss as an unbreakable fighter, who never gives up and kicks ass. They stand for him, they adore him will always stay by his side. He created his dream street gang but never stopped being haunted by the monster from the past. _

_ “Boss!” Marion kicks the door and walks in, Arthur slowly comes after. Others, who came with them, wait outside. _

_ Boss is sitting on the chair, while his boyfriend is finishing the last shadowing on his arm tattoo. Almost two years ago, boss called him “only a tattoo guy” now it turned into this. _

_ Boss was with him because the tattoo guy was not interested in street gangs. He kept painting on his body for all these years giving the pain that boss needed. Arthur thought they made some sort of connection, but he never asked how deep it was. Arthur was sure, if boss gave that man to touch his body, until the magnificent dragon tattoo was covering all of his back, shoulders and right arm, it means boss got attached. Just like he got attached to his street gang, Marion, and the sense of freedom. Boss probably thought that this will continue forever. _

_ “Hmmm?” boss looks at both of them, holding a joint between his lips and then sighs. _

_ Arthur and Marion came to collect him - it means the party with his boyfriend is over. _

_ “I think, I’m done. It’s perfect…. Eiji. You’re perfect. My masterpiece… and you… all in one.” the guy leans forward and smiles. _

_ “You think so?” boss passes the joint to Marion and then pulls his boyfriend on himself sticking his tongue inside his mouth. _

_ “That’s just…” she loudly breaths in and demonstrating pretends to be vomiting, but somehow manages not to tell unnecessary things as she can finish the joint from boss. _

_ On the other hand, when they leave, she can’t hold back anymore. _

_ “Boss, are you top or bottom?” she suddenly shouts and Arthur punches her hard on the shoulder. _

_ Despite she did cut her hair drastically until the shoulders, and became one of the best fighters in their gang, learning how to “keep her shit together” by kicking ass and sticking bubble gum into hair of her victims as one of her lame pranks, one thing she couldn’t change - stop fucking talking. _

_ “Neither. I only do things for him.” boss shrugs, as always too kind when it comes to her stupid questions. _

_ “Why?” she continues, but when Arthur is about to punch her again, Marion grabs his hand and twists it hard. “If you do that again, I swear… I’ll crush your balls, you---.” _

_ Suddenly boss shuts her mouth with a palm even if she doesn’t stop making noises. _

_ “Marion.” he lowers voice. _

_ This makes her instantly stop. His voice rarely but might be scary. Arthur is glad he doesn’t speak like that all the time though. _

_ Then boss breaths out and they turn into the alleyway, straightway to their base. _

_ “How was the deal from yesterday?” Boss asks after a pause of odd silence. Marion is never so quiet. His voice must have confused her. _

_ “Oh! I knocked them out with the baseball bat.” she wakes up and laughs proudly. _

_ “My girl.” he grins for a moment, bit suddenly the expression is gone from the face. “What the fuck---” _

_ “Those Chinese asses again…” Arthur deeply sighs, “Should we take another path?” _

_ “Putain....” Marion sighs because she already knows boss answer. _

_ “No way. That’s my territory.” his body becomes tense, as he stretches shoulders. Arthur knows that he is itching to fight. “Hey, you!” he shouts and walks closer, having a wall of ten people behind the back. _

_ Boss doesn’t give a chance for them to say anything. He takes out his butterfly knife and declares war right away. _

_ Rival gang members were only waiting for this chance to be served. One of them, probably the leader, walks towards. _

_ Boss tilts his head to the side as he plays with the butterfly knife between the fingers. He looks at the man in front, with a hint of coldness but eyes are burning in rebellious flames. It flashes the way through, like an unstoppable natural disaster and after a moment boss breaks the silence with a loud laugh. It’s funny for him, the possibility to get pain, to fight. With a sudden move, he grabs a second knife from Arthur's hands and leans forward towards the man in the distance. _

_ His whole position declares war, the wild energy instantly suffocates the air. _

_ "I'll cut you into pieces, you piece of shit." he opens mouth and shivers the air with a victorious message. _

_ Boss slowly touches the piercing in his tongue with the tip of the knife and then the sharp material cuts through the air. _

_ Arthur was sure he will rule these streets forever. Just the way it is now, with his wild and loud character. Maybe one day, he’ll heal from the nightmares of Okumura clan. _

“And here we are now. Almost ten years later. I knew I should have ended him when I still had a chance! When he was weak and vulnerable… I was there all those years for him, but when the chance comes he again replaces me with some trash. I’m second in command, I had to go to that meeting.” Arthur swears out loud, looking through the window while deeply inhaling the expensive cigar. 

“Interesting.” his subordinate Foxx calmly reacts to the story. “What happened to the gang?”

“They were all killed like flies in a huge fight a few months after. Then he just suddenly decided to become yakuza, succeed the clan and became who he’s now… fuck! But I’m telling you… that American cat, that he’s keeping so close now, he’ll be the end of his. I’m sure. I missed the chance to chop his head once, won’t miss it again.”

“You sound so sure.” Foxx takes the documents from the table as he’s about to leave and go to the meeting. “You mean just like that time when he was with that tattoo artist?”

“Exactly… because of his fault, everyone died, by the way. Maybe Lynx could be the second tragic and last end.” Arthur laughs and runs through his hair with fingers. He’s completely annoyed but somehow manages to hide it.

“If you kill boss, the clan will be you---”

Suddenly the door opens without any invitation, and Arthur is about to scream but when he sees the girl in a leather jacket and ripped jeans.

Only a few days passed since she came to Japan after two years and it’s already too much. Years are gone, but she hasn’t changed even a bit.

“Move from my way, you boomer.” She pushes Foxx from her sight and comes in like a tornado. “Where are you keeping your phone, jackass??” 

“Get out---”

“Boss's plane disappeared. According to the time they took off, the plane should have landed already…”

“So you’re saying… what?” Arthur is just not in the mood to listen to her screaming about boss from the early morning.

“I swear to a fucking demon, are you really this stupid? I can't get to reach boss or Sing. Their plane is gone. Something happened!” 

She is too loud, and a real headache without any cure. But for the first time in years, she may have brought some good news. Arthur covered his lips, pretending to be surprised, but actually hiding an honest smile.

Maybe Lee has succeeded after all.

* * *

**22 HOURS AGO**

* * *

Ash stops next to the stairs. No one asked if he wants to become a part of that mess. No one cared about his opinion. Ash doesn’t feel like going, he’s not in the mood to be with Okumura after what happened three days ago. More than that, he’s not ready to meet Shorter and become Aslan again. Aslan. He buried that man almost two years ago. He’s not ready to let him out, there are still things he must do here.

Everyone is already inside, only one guard is standing behind Ash, and waiting until he’ll move. Thought of turning around crosses Ash’s mind.

“Lynx.” 

A cold dark voice from inside calls and Ash sighs. It’s irritating how well he can hear Okumura, even if he speaks so quietly. Ash has never wanted to swear so much in his life, as he does now. He climbs stairs like a prisoner walking to his last trail and then the door closes.

The plane is similar to the one Ash came to Japan with, but even more spacious, more than one cabin. Leather furniture and dark colors suit the man who is sitting in a comfortable seat with his legs crossed. Ash turns eyes away. Of course, Okumura is not even looking at Ash's side - his face is turned at the window. _Maybe Okumura’s voice was only in Ash’s head?_

Ash gets to sit among the guards, on the other side than Okumura and Sing. It’s ridiculously funny how they treat him like this. 

Ash grips the leather seat a bit harder after they spend around 20 minutes in the sky. _They will sit in silence for more than four hours until Hong Kong?_ He wouldn’t mind in any other case, but Ash wants to know what’s going on. He feels right to know. He needs to prepare himself.

“Where…” he starts, then makes a short pause, when one of the guards punches him on the side. “Where is the restroom?” Ash still ends the sentence.

Okumura’s shoulder moves, but he doesn’t turn his head. Ash doesn’t care. He needs to get out of this toxic atmosphere just for a bit, or he might not hold back anymore. The same second as Sing shows him with the head at the door across the room, Ash immediately gets up and leaves the cabin.

He’s in another room. With a large luxurious bed, definitely, it doesn’t feel like he’s in a plane anymore. It must be soundproof as well, probably for long travels. 

“Shit…. shit…” he walks a little bit deeper into the room and takes out the phone. Of course, there is no signal. He could use the wi-fi to call but, but doesn’t know the password. 

_ Does Shorter know that Ash is coming?_

Already from that time when Okumura killed three of Shorter’s men, Ash tried to figure out how much Okumura knows about him. _ Was it only because Shorter is close to Lee or there is any other reason? _ Okumura doesn’t seem like someone who could have a business with a street gang. But Ash can be one hundred percent sure about that man. He might have his poisonous roots everywhere.

If Shorter doesn’t know and they catch them unprepared, it might be the end for both Ash and Shorter. On the other side, Ash can’t lie. He wants to meet Lee, he wants to know if Shorter is in the same deep shit as he is. If only he could somehow get access to Max, that could be a perfect chance to get both Okumura and Lee and at the same time.

But there is another side of Ash. Way less reasonable, which doesn’t want to stop until he breaks Okumura Eiji into pieces with bare hands. Ash is slowly making progress towards his goals, even if cards were definitely not on his side before. He doesn’t want everything to end, and he has to prove it for Shorter. Even if it means they will have to become enemies for now.

The door opens and suddenly Ash realizes that he is taking way too long to come back. Sing must have sent one of the guards to check.

No. It’s not the bodyguard. It’s Okumura.

“Boss.” Ash’s body instantly gets numb. 

Okumura closes the door behind himself and steps towards Ash. His official outfit and black necktie for some reason don’t help to focus. Ash wants to say something, but words seem to be stuck in the throat. Ash only thinks of that night when he discovered how deeply traumatized this person is. And still. Every last of Ash’s cell start to itch. 

Okumura stops way too close, he’s almost breathing into Ash’s face.

“What’s on your mind, Lynx?” it’s a simple question, but Ash doesn’t feel like he has a right to talk. “Nervous?” he takes a pause.“Scared?” Okumura slowly breaths in, “Excited?”

Boss is shorter than Ash, but it seems that every time next to him, Ash’s legs shrink.

“Why you took me instead of Arthur?” he finally asks and it makes Okumura grin. It’s not even a real grin. This person forgot how to smile long ago.

“Because I can.” he turns his head to the side as eyes slide Ash’s face. “And your life is not that important as his.” Their eyes meet only for a moment, but it’s enough to throw Ash back to the depths of the Pit. 

They never had a proper conversation before, and this can almost count as one, but suddenly Ash gets sick. _ What did he expect? Praise? _ Of course, he’s not that important to Okumura as that son of a bitch, but then what it means? _ He plans Ash to get killed there? That’s not what will happen. _

“Then why you were fucking with me and not with him?” 

Ash had to agree with boss but heard himself saying these words and instantly stepped back after. Which side of his spoke now, he can’t explain. 

Absolutely not the one he is in control of.

“Watch your mouth, Lynx.”

It's like Okumura doesn't even see Ash. His cold as ice dark eyes, doesn't let to get through the walls that he set up inside the empty soul. He's emotionless and quiet, but fills the last part of the room with his presence. Okumura doesn't even need to try. He occupies the last piece of mind just by being here. Ash turns his head away because he's not sure how much of Okumura's darkness he can handle now. It’s pointless to fight back.

Boss slowly leans forward and suspiciously gently touches Ash's shoulder. Even such a simple movement makes every last of his muscles tense. But Okumura doesn't stop, he silently scoffs next to Ash's ear. Scary attempt to laugh.

"Next time you’ll say something like this, I'll rip your soul with my bare hands." he leaves a trace of heat on the skin with that deep void and moves away.

“Boss.” Sing voice comes from behind, and Okumura turns his back at Ash.

Ash didn’t feel how Sing came in. It’s always like this when Okumura releases his poison. 

Ash uses the chance and steps to the side.

“She wants to talk with you, Sir.” Sing speaks calmly like he saw nothing. 

He passes the phone to Okumura. Ash doesn’t exist for them and that gives space to think.

_ She? A woman? _ Ash never saw or heard Okumura interacting with a woman before. He didn’t look like one who cares about girls. On the other side, a yakuza boss must have a fiancee. _ Isn’t it how they succeed in the clan? By having a son who takes over? _Only a thought that Okumura might have a son with some woman, makes Ash want to laugh. He can’t imagine this psychopath as a father.

Who is she?

“_ Je peux choisir mes vêtements seul _.” 

When Okumura first speaks, Ash freezes, and all other thoughts disappear. It doesn’t sound like him. _ Is it because he speaks in a different language? Or because of the person, he is speaking to? _ Okumura’s voice is still low but a little bit softer, even more seducing. If it’s even possible.

“_ Car je ne suis pas seul. _” Okumura answers again after a pause.

Ash regrets that he didn’t take his french classes seriously in high school. It’s even worse than Okumura speaking with someone in Japanese. In that case, Ash still feels the same vibe from him. _ But now… who is that woman? French? His fiancee is French?? _

“_ C’était trop dangereux _.” This time he sounds a little bit more irritated and immediately ends the call after. “If she calls again, don’t answer.”

“Yes, boss.” Sing nods taking back his phone.

Okumura leaves the room, without looking at Ash. The phone rings again, but Sing proves his loyalty and simply turns off the sound.

“Is she someone important to him?” Ash asks trying to sound as neutral as possible.

“Yes.” Sing sighs and turns around to leave. “Better finish your business and come back.”

Ash feels like he just got punch into the stomach. _ Yes. Yes? Yes?? _ _ What the hell that mean? _ _ How this monster can take care of a woman and not hurt her by being a masochist psychopath? _

Ash wishes he could understand those different waves of hate coming inside. _ For him? For her? Or for both? _

Ash comes back to the main cabin and sits down back to his place. _ If Sing didn’t come in, what would have happened between him and boss in that room? _ Too late to find out, and it’s not like Ash wants something after that night. He’ll need to find another way how to get closer to him.

The time was definitely against Ash’s nerves, so by the end of the trip, even the stomach hurt. Okumura for a short amount of time was reading some documents, but later only stared through the window. 

When the plane lands, of course, Ash is the last one to leave. They pass through all the security like it’s nothing, Ash only quickly glances at Chinese sings. Another language he could have learned but never did. 

The FBI files are not wrong, the head of the Lee clan lives in Hong Kong. A word so different from Japan, but even here they seem to have a high-level corruption. A dark side controlled by the Chinese mafia, or how others call it - Triad.

Ash gets inside the same limousine as Okumura but sits as far away as possible from each other. He lost last hopes to hear something about what’s going. 

“You stay next to me, but don’t do or say anything unless I tell you.” Only when the vehicle stops, and before doors open, Okumura glares at Ash for a moment and then gets out of the car.

“Wait, Sing, how dangerous it might get?”

“Maybe deadly. I have no idea myself.” Sing seriously nods and follows boss.

Since he was in the darkness most of the time during their travel, it’s a bit surprising how light it’s still is outside. And it doesn’t match with what Ash sees next.

The residence, at least the main house, could easily compete with the one Okumura has in Japan. But Ash can barely focus on the building because of the man standing next to the stairs.

He’s beautiful. Ash can’t deny it. At the same time, Ash can’t tell what exactly he can call beauty in this case. The man is around the same height as Okumura, but even skinner and a lot more feminine. Starting from his long black braided hair, and delicate facial features, ending the posture. He seems fragile, someone, who could fall even from a light breeze. Someone you would instantly want to protect, even without realizing it. That man and Okumura are different like sky and earth, except for one thing.

The amount of a dark presence pierces everyone and each of them, Ash is sure. Okumura with his emotionless face and the man standing in front of him - they are made from the same dirt. 

“Okumura Eiji! Welcome!” the man opens his arms with a smile. Ash has never felt a more unwelcoming tone than now. His words wrap around the neck like a snake and take the last drop of air. 

He’s dangerous. This place is dangerous.

“Lee.” Okumura nods, for the first time in front of Ash’s eyes showing respect for someone.

“So unfriendly... Come inside!” Lee still keeps strangling with his words and smile everyone, except for boss. It doesn’t seem to have any effect on him. 

When the servant opens the door, Okumura steps forward and goes inside with Lee. Everyone else follows them. Ash keeps next to Sing, who for the first time seems a little bit off and not completely focused. Suddenly someone’s hand lays on Sing’s arm over Ash’s shoulders.

“How are you doing, brother?” the man smirks, but Sing quickly gets rid of his hand, and walks further.

_ Brother?? _ Ash glances at the smiling man but makes sure to keep up with Sing. _ What does it mean? _ Sing is Chinese, Ash was sure about it from the start, but _could it be that his brother is working for the other clan? _ _ Did Sing betray Lee? Was he a part of Lee clan before? _ After months of not moving from the spot, suddenly Ash is punched by mountains of new information he can’t handle.

One of Ash’s sides knew this moment is coming. But Ash still wasn't prepared. Shorter is standing at the end of the room when they all walk in. Ash keeps his head straight and looks at him. It’s like Shorter felt him at the same time because their eyes instantly mean. Ash knows that color better than anything else, he could read any emotion inside of them. Shorter didn’t know that Ash will be here. Ash tries to scan his best friend as quickly as possible. 

Shorter gave up on dyeing his hair and keeping rebellious mohawk. His natural color grew back and the hairstyle changed into a small ponytail on top with stylish shaved sides. Despite keeping his old piercing in the eyebrow, and a few other details, Shorter looks like a whole new person. If they weren’t so close, Ash would have never recognized him. But Ash knows Shorter's face, and eyes - even if they don’t look so lively as before. Ash is not the one to judge. He also has changed. He can tell it from the way Shorter glared at him. That’s all they get after more than two years not seeing each other.

After a few moments, since their eyes met, Ash looks away, even though his heart is painfully pounding. This has to end differently than Okumura plans. _Ash can’t let Shorter die. _

“Here.” Sing orders and Ash stands next to him, while other guards were left outside the room. 

They are standing just behind Okumura, like a wall, while boss and Lee are kneeling at the Chinese traditional low table. 

At Okumura’s residence, Ash also saw furniture like this, but no one used it. Okumura never holds meetings in the main house. Equivalent to Sing and Ash, Lee kept Shorter and the man who talked with Sing before next to himself.

“So… as we wait for dinner...” Lee can even speak with the same twisted smile on his face. “Introduce me to your new blond slut.” 

Lee lifts his black eyes right Ash. Ash hates Okumura, he is sure of it, but this man, he has something hideously sweet inside that gives current to run down the spine. His eyes, smile and even face - once Lee's attention belongs only to Ash, the man can’t get rid of ridiculous thought - Lee knows who Ash is for real. But it’s impossible, Shorter would never tell to anyone. He would never risk Ash’s life.

“The deal--” Okumura as always masterly ignores topics he’s not interested in.

“Come on… business can wait.” he interrupts Okumura and even Shorter with Sing’s brother flinch. That man is something.

Ash quickly glanced at boss back, but he isn't showing any signs. 

“What happened to the last one? Did you end him like everyone else?” Lee chuckles and slowly stands up. For Ash’s greatest shock, Lee walks towards him. Lee's long fingers land on Ash’s cheek, but he moves the head away.

“Don’t tou--”

Sing stands on Ash's feet, to stop him, and the man shuts his mouth. Okumura would have slapped him for this. Lee only grins wider. 

“You have a wildcat here. That’s what your name means, right? Ash Lynx…” Lee continues speaking with his thin accent and doesn’t let the hand down. 

He’s softly patting the air with the fingertips but toxic vibes reach all the way to Ash’s cheek, where Lee touched just a moment ago.

“Sing, get the car.” Okumura quietly orders.

“Okumura!” Lee turns from Ash with a flawless move and leans next to boss’s shoulder. “Why you always so boring?”

“Stop touching what’s mine and get to the business. I have nothing to do here.” boss turns head just a little bit, but Ash’s body instantly leans forward. 

Lee and his face are too close. Short eye contact and smile disappear from Lee’s lips. He frowns a bit and slowly goes back to his place. Okumura lifts his right wrist just a bit and Sing next to Ash’s nod. _ Did he just cancel the order? _

“I thought it might be a little bit more fun.” Lee sighs and his facial features instantly get sharper. He lets his head down and silence overtakes the space.

The door opens and servants bring in the dinner, Ash just now remembered that he didn’t have anything to eat today, but of course, food is served only for Okumura and Lee. 

The strangling tension is the only reason why it’s so easy to be focused on Okumura, and not to pay attention at Shorter, who is standing behind Lee’s back like a statue. This silence is so much worse than Lee speaking. 

While Lee seems to be enjoying his food, Okumura barely touches the plate or drink. On the other hand, boss doesn’t seem to be tense or out of his comfort zone. 

It’s like he’s waiting for something. 

“Something is wrong, Okumura?” 

Lee finally lets out his poisonous voice, which like glue sticks on the air. Differently from boss’s usual empty face, Lee has that sarcastic smile, which at some point is even scarier.

“Not at all,” Okumura answers calm and patiently, as talking to a child.

The expression disappears from Lee’s face and he leans a bit forward, playing with one of his long black strands. 

“You don’t like what my chef made?” Lee keeps pushing, but the intonation changes.

Okumura doesn’t answer. He lifts the head at Lee and the Chinese man suddenly leans back, clenching his fists. 

“Lao.” He commands and Sing’s “brother” quickly runs from the room. “You do understand on whose territory are you, Okumura?”

Lee’s eyes quickly fill up with anger, something he’s been hiding until now. Ash can’t see Okumura’s face, but he's sure it’s empty like always. Lee’s lips are pressed into a narrow line, while they both keep staring at each other. 

It won’t end up well. 

Sing grabs on Ash’s jacket when he’s about to step forward. Sing slowly shakes the head. _ Why? _

“Is that a threatening?” Okumura turns his head a bit to the side and moves the right hand up. Ash is sure that boss is touching his lower lip. 

Okumura is turning this place into his playground, and Lee is falling for it too easily. He shouldn’t have interrupted boss before.

Lee grins. It starts as silent giggling and raises until the massive scary hysterical laugh, which freaks out even Ash. He is unable to let eyes down from this scene. 

They are so different. Okumura and Lee. And still, the terrible energy that they both give out is almost the same. Like a dark cloud, it takes over the room. Lao comes back after a few minutes, he quickly shakes head and goes back to his position as before.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Lee leans a bit forward to boss. Ash only guesses that Lao went out for no reason. Nothing happened yet. 

“I don’t understand what are you talking about.” Okumura’s answer is almost soft. As much is it can get like that for him. It’s so obvious that he’s just playing with this situation, weighs his limits in this place.

“Why did you start killing my men?” Lee suddenly gets serious. 

From Ash’s point of you, Lee wasn’t planning on getting to the real deal so soon, but Okumura was not in the mood to shitalk, so he didn’t have a choice.

“Interesting. Because I came to ask you the same question, Lee.” Okumura turns around the situation and moves his head just a bit, as Lee sits there clearly confused. “The only men I admit killing first… is three of your men, Shorter Wong.” Ash hears a tone full of satisfaction in his voice. “I splashed their brains. I would do it again.”

Shorter trembles. It’s the first time he moves since this odd meeting started. Everyone hears how he breathes in but somehow manages to keep the plain face. Either way, Okumura reaches his goal. Since that day, when Ash was told to bring those three Chinese men, later finding out that they were a part of Shorter’s gang - Ash couldn’t stop thinking that it might be something more behind it. Something Okumura doesn’t tell to anyone. After that one specific time, Ash didn’t see him personally killing someone without an actual reason. Even once. And it couldn’t be because of Shorter, Ash is sure that they don’t know each other. Shorter, would never hide this kind of thing from Ash.

“You still have contact with your previous street gang?” Lee looks up at Shorter and their eyes meet.  
  
Whenever Ash looks at Okumura it feels like explosion, unstoppable heat, some sort of toxic but vital amount of pain. But between Shorter and Lee, there is nothing. Shorter doesn’t even seem to be scared of him. 

“We’ll talk about this later.” Lee only sighs and then turns his eyes again at Okumura. “I don’t get your point. You may lie to yourself, but not to me. I know that I didn’t start this war, but I’m not turning back now. I lost too many of my people, because of you.”

“Basically, you invited me here to waste my time?” 

“Waste your time… sorry to interrupt your masochist games.” Lee sarcastically chuckles. “I think you came because you know that we both can’t allow ourselves to lose more men.”

“I don’t care about that.” The first part of Lee’s words seems to get in and out boss's head, without leaving any trace. “Either you propose something interesting, either I’ll end you here and now.”

Ash can’t hold back, his jaw drops because of how Okumura is straightforward, even though in every corner of this place and probably all over Hong Kong there are Lee’s men. Ash doesn't know much about the past of Lee and Okumura clans. Ibe said not to ask questions to which Ash doesn’t want to know the answer. At first, Ash wasn't so interested. There were more important things, but now he wants to know. He needs to know.

Lee bites his lower lip and then widely smiles as if he finally understood the rules of Okumura’s game.

“Okumura Eiji… you poor little boy. With a heart like an old prune. My father used to say, that you and your whole family are cursed… just look at how it began for you? Do you still have those nightmares? About your traitor friend?”

Lee tries to sting, to hurt. But either he doesn’t know anything about Okumura, either he knows topics about which Ash has no clue. Lee is trying to damage the devil. 

_ Unless. _

“And that’s why your father is dead, Lee. What a terrible accident.” 

Boss stretches his back and dangerously lowers the voice. Okumura has to do something with Lee’s father's death. Ash follows how boss slowly reaches for a knife on a table. 

“Shorter.” Lee orders just in time and he’s already there. 

Shorter is leaning down, holding on Okumura’s wrist, not letting him strike. _ Touching him. _ Even if it’s through the material, Ash’s heart drops to the stomach.

The disaster is about to happen if Ash doesn’t do something. For the boss, or maybe for Shorter. That second he can’t think clear who of them is more important. Sing tries to hold Ash back again but fails. 

Ash covers boss and grabs Shorter's hand.

“Let go of him.” Ash groans at Chinese man, gripping his skin with nails. “I said. Let. Go.”

And Shorter does. From surprise, from Ash’s expression or the potential danger - who knows. Moves a bit back. His face is unfamiliar, stranger. But eyes flame with pain for a moment. Shorter glances at Lee and gets a silent confirmation, then changes the target.

Shorter's punch reaches Ash’s face faster than he can block, and just because of the miracle Ash doesn’t fall on Okumura. Ash’s leans on the floor with his knee, feeling the taste of iron in the mouth, but there is no pain. Either Ash becomes emotionless like Okumura, either the body is just full of adrenaline. He jumps back at Shorter, one hand grabbing on his throat and kicks him in the stomach, hitting the man against the wall. They used to train together a lot back in the days. Even if Shorter did have more strength, Ash's reactions and speed were just too fast for him. Usually, they ended up in a draw. This time it might be different.

“It’s enough!” Sing shouts. Both Ash and Shorter only stare at each other, like strangers full of hate. Shorter’s lips are getting slightly blue. Ash doesn’t want to back off. He’s so angry at Shorter and everyone in this stupid room.

“Lynx.” 

Again. It’s like this darkness is calling him from the inside, stuck in the head, engraved in his brain. Ash presses his lips into a narrow line, in agony of not being able to resit and lets Shorter go, then walks back to Sing. Each of Ash's muscles hurts from tension, from the drug in Okumura's voice.

“Hilarious!” Lee laughs while playing with his long hair. Excited as if he just saw some high-quality performance. “I need a glass of champagne and private talk, Okumura. I guess you would like wine.”

“Absolutely.” Boss agrees like just a few minutes ago he didn't intend to kill Lee. “Leave.” he doesn’t even turn, at them.

Lee shows towards the door with his long finger and his two guards walk towards it. Sing has to take Ash’s jacket between fingers and pull a bit. Once the door closes, Ash looks at Sing.

“How can you leave him? What even happened there? They…”

“Ash… trust me. I didn’t want to leave that room either. But if something happens, boss will give me a signal.” 

Only now Ash notices that Sing is not calm at all. Already from the moment, they entered this place, he was a bit off. 

“Want to talk, brother?” Lao quickly leans forward to Sing with a twisted smile. They are the same height and build, but somehow Ash guesses that Lao is older. 

“Piss off.” Sing grabs Ash’s jacket and they leave the hallway. 

Ash quickly glances at Shorter and their eyes meet but do not say anything. Ash walks with Sing to the hall where other guards wait. Ash just stands, looking at the spot in the wall, like he could see right through it. _ What they might be talking about? _

“Your lip is bleeding.” Sing takes out a tissue and hands it to Ash. “That was a nice kick, by the way. But for the last time, you have to be more careful. Don’t get into a fight with Lee’s guys, we’re not a street gang.”

_ How can Sing speak like that? _ Shorter would have hurt boss.

“He’s there alone with that snake, Sing.” 

Ash breaths out slowly, not taking the tissue, until Sing almost smashes it into Ash’s face, making him frown. Ash didn’t think about the pain until this second, but the lip and cheek are painfully pulsating.

“_He_ is the boss.”

Ash knows. And hates it.

They wait, for hours until it gets dark, almost not moving, while Ash already been through all possible scenarios. It gave him a terrible headache. The fact that he can’t stop thinking about Okumura and is worried about his safety was another thing he couldn’t let himself to analyze now. No matter which conclusion Ash comes to, the answer is still not satisfying. _ Of course, he doesn't care about Okumura for real, right? _ Ash is just curious. He doesn't like to be left out.

When Sing comes again to Ash and shares some snacks with water, he can’t hold back from asking:

“Where is Arthur? Why I’m here instead of him?” it doesn’t even make sense. Okumura doesn’t have any reason to keep Ash so close.

“Ash, even if I’m one of the closest people for boss. I don’t know what he’s thinking and I never will. So you better just don’t try to analyze. Do what he says and you will feel so much better. That’s it. That’s how you survive with him.” Sing friendly pats Ash’s shoulder. “My guess that he was mad at Arthur for lying about you being traitor. Or---” 

Sing doesn’t finish the sentence, he quickly takes out the phone and glances at the screen.

“Stay here.” he leaves without any other explanation.

For some reason, everything turns around after that secret meet. Sings reports that they will spend the night here. Is it already too dark to leave, or maybe Okumura has other plans - Ash could only guess, as always. He hasn't seen boss after the meeting and probably won’t see him until the next morning. 

Ash doesn't have any clue where Okumura’s room is, but he is given a small one at the end of the second floor. While walking there together with one of Lee’s handmaid's, Ash notices Sing talking with a few guards next to one of the doors. Okumura might be there - as far away as possible from Ash. 

_ Ash should have stayed in his place back then. Why it’s so easy to mess up every freaking time? _

Once Ash is left alone, he knows, he has no right to leave this room without an order. In Japan, he’s free to go wherever he wants. Well, at least he can talk to Ibe. Ash takes out the phone as he is about to call him and ask for a normal explanation, but there is one message from the unknown number.

_ Meet me at the back, the right side of the garden at 1 am. _

There is no name - nothing.

“Fuck you, Shorter…” Ash deeply sighs. He can’t risk in this place.

A few minutes before 1 am Ash opens the window and climbs out. He has jumped from way higher places before. The second floor doesn’t make a lot of trouble. Ash holds on the window still until he is hanging and with a right angle he lands on the grass silently, almost like a cat. 

Ash doesn’t have any idea where is the right or left side of the garden. He walks behind the building and stops for a moment to stare at the nicely polished bushes and trees, various types of flowers and cozy lighting. It’s different from the gardens at Okumura’s residence. Boss appreciates traditional style, with absolutely perfect and strict symmetry, harmony, which has some sort of hypnotizing effect. This one is a variety of chaos and colors. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let eyes down. Reminds of some old weird fairytale, perfectly matching for someone like Lee.

Ash walks a little bit further, trying to keep closer to the wall. He’s about to look at the phone when he hears someone’s fast steps from behind. Long fingers cover his mouth, drags even deeper into the shadow. Ash grabs on the hand, but the strength is just too great.

“Hey.” he laughs next to Ash’s ear and releases him.

“Fuck man... can you not?” Ash sighs turning around, but for some reason, his heart is calm. Those hands could never do any harm.

They look at each other, like for the first time. Shorter is a bit taller, with wider shoulders and way more easy-going attitude towards everything. Ash doesn’t want to admit, but if they had switched places, Shorter had never let Okumura get his way.

Just not long ago they were greatest enemies, but now Ash can’t help only smile, seeing Shorter for the first time after so long. Looking at him gives a feel of home, and everything seems a little bit better.

“I’m sorry for that.” he smiles pointing at Ash’s chin, but the blond man just shakes head. 

As long as it was convincing, it doesn’t matter. Ash thinks that they did a pretty good act back then.

“If they catch us here together, we’re dead.” Ash grins for a second. He knew and still came, only because it’s Shorter.

“Man, I thought if I see you one more time, I won’t mind dying.” Shorter silently giggles, when Ash doesn’t react to this lame joke. “No one ever comes to this side of the garden.” he shrugs with a calm face, but then leans back against the wall and looks right at Ash’s eyes. “But isn’t it more fun this way? Aslan?”

_ Aslan. _ One thing is hearing Shorter’s voice calling him like that through the phone, another thing is to hear it again after two years of the inner death. Ash lets his head down and silently chuckles. 

It might be true. It might be that everything he felt until know was nothing more than act.

“How are you?” Shorter asks after a short pause, like resetting the conversation.

Aslan deeply sighs, finding strengths inside to breathe again. Like after spending too much time underwater.

“Great.” Aslan doesn’t wait before answering. “I started from the Pit and now I came together with Okumura to Hong Kong. I have access to every data of the clan. The leader of Japan’s branch absolutely trusts me. With the amount of information I have now, I could end this tomorrow… but...” Aslan crosses hands against the chest.

“But you try to get closer to him.” Shorter ends.

“He’s is the problem. Very hard to break, but not impossible. I know that he knows what happened to Griffin. Call it seventh scent bullshit, but I just know. After that, I don’t give a shit about what happens to him or others. I just need to know. As soon I find out, I’m leaving that toxic place.” Aslan explains, barely controlling his voice from the hate. He wasted too much of his time to let it go now.

Shorter makes a long pause like trying to fight with a desire to say something that Aslan won’t like. Finally, he nods.

“I understand... Yue-Lung told me that Okumura will bring someone with himself, but I didn’t have a clue it will be you. I don’t know how you managed to get close to that devil, but… it’s clear.” Shorter almost praised Aslan, like waiting for some sort of superman story.

“Basically by acting like a reckless idiot and doing the opposite. His mental illness is too obvious. I can guarantee he grew up having a golden life.” Aslan takes a deep breath. It’s irritating because even this second when he doesn’t have to pretend anymore, something inside painfully scratches. “And you? Calling Lee by his first name…?” Aslan asks whatever question that comes to the head first.

“It was pretty easy for me to get his trust, and the FBI wants me to stay as long as possible. They have enough information… but Lee clan has roots all over China and New York. You know, when we end our work, we’ll have to hide from them for the rest of our lives. It’s better to get as much as we can.”

Shorter raises his hand and Ash takes his warm fingers. They don’t shake hands, they just press each other's palms hard enough to feel the trust, then bumps fists few times.

“Just a bit longer and everything will go back to as it was before.” Shorter winks scratching the back of his head with a warm smile.

“You are right, but now we are in this reality. Do you know anything about the meeting? How it ended?” Aslan wants to be so relaxed as Shorter but, because of multiple things, can’t.

“So, Okumura takes you here with himself, but doesn’t give any information? Then what’s the point?” Shorter looks quite surprised, but Aslan is not sure he can’t tell him everything. “Well, it seems that they came to some sort of agreement. So--”

“Why are you lying?” Aslan interrupts him and steps a little bit back.

“What do you mean?” 

“Dude, I know you for too long, I can see that you are lying. Why?” 

Shorter’s eyes are confused for a moment, but no matter how hard he tries, he can’t hide the reality from his best friend, not when they are talking eye to eye.

“Does he… does he… do anything with you?” Shorter slowly finds words for the question. from his voice is gone.

“What do you mean?” Aslan freeze. He’s not so naive, he’s perfectly aware of what Shorter is asking about. The more important question, how he even had this idea, in the first place.

“He is. Right? Aslan… he’s hurting you?? Is he using you as his sex toy? Is that’s why he brought you here? Is he raping you???” 

Shorter suddenly grabs on Ash shoulders and presses to the point, where it’s starting to hurt. Aslan only stares, almost unable to breathe. _ Rape? _ _ Can he call it like that? _

_ Absolutely not. _

“I….” 

Aslan doesn’t want to say. He doesn’t want to admit that he wants it as much as he hates it. Aslan doesn’t want Shorter to know how deeply Okumura is damaged and what he did to him. It doesn’t matter. It’s just temporary. More than that, Aslan hates to think about how much Shorter is hiding from him. _ What else he might know about Okumura? _

“I need to go back,” Aslan mutters.

After these words, Shorter lets him go. His hands fall and expression breaks, but Aslan doesn’t feel guilty. He doesn’t have to explain himself. Their way has to part now, until everything is over and they both can forget. 

Ash walks away, and doesn’t intend to stop, but does. Either is because Shorter grabs his hand from behind either because he spots two silhouettes. Heart drops, Shorter next to Ash also loses his voice. 

Ash hears soft murmuring, but can’t identify words from so far. He’s almost sure that it’s Sing and... _ Sing?? _ Ash quickly glances at Shorter and his face is as much astonished as Ash… _ Yue-Lung _ \- Shorter’s lips move without making a sound.

Death or not, they have to see what’s going on. Ash didn’t have a clue that Sing and Lee knew each other. Ash and Shorter press their backs closer to the wall and move a little bit further. Sing and Lee stopped talking and for one moment Ash already thinks, that they might have left, but he’s wrong. 

They’re standing next to the tree, Lee wrapping his hands around Sing’s neck, holding on his hair with long fingers. Sing’s arms are next to his sides, but it doesn’t seem that he acts against his will. 

They’re kissing. Deeply. Ash never has seen or experienced such a kiss before, so it’s even hard to understand what he sees. But one is clear. No one is kissing like it would be the last day on earth just after meeting. _ Sing and Lee, know each other from long ago… _A thought crosses Ash’s mind like an arrow, that the biggest traitor in Okumura clan all long was no one else than Sing. Both Lee and Sing are so into that kiss, that even if Ash passed them by they wouldn’t notice. 

Lee moves back first. Just a little bit. He takes Sing’s face between fingers and holds as something very vulnerable. _ Who is this person? _ Lee softly smiles when Sing touches his forehead with lips.

“离开他，然后留下和我在一起、拜托了” Lee’s voice is quiet, and even a little bit sad. Ash doesn’t have any idea what it means, but it’s not an order. It’s a request, a begging.

Silence. Even Shorter and Ash are not breathing in their hideout.

“对不起，我做不到.” Sing answers without any emotion in his voice and takes a step back.

That second Shorter grabs on Ash’s hand and starts dragging in the opposite direction. They both are walking in deadly silence until Ash is sure that it’s safe to speak:

“What did they say?”

“Yue-Lung asked Okumura’s bodyguard to leave Okumura and then go back to him. Sing answered that he can’t do that.” Shorter explains, but he feels obviously as same as Ash. They both are not sure what they saw, and what's behind it.

_This is so fucked up._ Until this moment Ash was so sure that Sing is a loyal as a dog, _ but how explain this? _

“Use this back door. There are stairs on the right, you will come out three doors from your room.” 

Ash doesn’t even notice that they walked almost all around the building. He opens the door and doesn’t even glance at Shorter. There is nothing to say anyway. They can’t talk about what happened just now. They can’t go back to the topic before. 

Aslan leaves his best friend behind and walks in. From that single moment turning them into nothing more than strangers again.

Ash reaches his room and without a second thought opens the door. Shivers instantly run down the spine until his tiptoes, and not because he left the window open. 

Okumura standing in the middle of the room and Ash even without lifting his eyes knows it. Ash is terribly scared to realize how much he can feel this man. The connection is deep, from the core… he doesn’t even need to do or to say anything. Ash is overtaken by Okumura’s existence in a second.

As an instinct to protect himself, Ash wants to tell the truth about Sing, but for some reason can’t. _ Maybe because Ash wants Okumura to get betrayed by the person he trusts with his life? _

“I got bored in this room…” Ash breaks the silence trying to keep his voice calm.

“I don’t care. Close the door.” Okumura doesn’t move from the spot until Ash does what he’s told. 

The open door was the only reason why Ash was still able to breathe properly. As soon as he closes them, there is nothing more, than this room and them. Ash is losing the fight again. For the past half-year, he had Okumura's body almost every day, until Ash became so addicted to this high-quality heroin that he didn’t want to heal. What happened between them three days ago, broke something deep inside. But it doesn’t change the fact that Ash hears Okumura’s voice, asking to fuck him, every single night. 

Dry mouth. Sweaty palms. The screaming scratch inside the chest tells him that it’s wrong in every possible way. Ash doesn’t want to be his sex toy anymore, especially when he knows that for Okumura this connection it’s just a way to have his sick goal.

When Okumura walks forwards, Ash stays still, as he doesn’t intend to run, but neither gives up. The man stops a few steps away and raises his hand. Ash lowers his head when Okumura’s fingers, covered with leather, touch his lips and make him softly shiver. Ash closes eyes and imagines that instead of the glove, it’s Okumura's lips pinning Ash down, taking control inside. It's as deep as the kiss he saw before, and Ash slides with his tongue inside drowning himself in darkness.

“Take it off…” Okumura commands, and Ash opens his lips. 

The heat is coming from deep inside wraps around the smooth material, lubricating it with the transparent liquid from the mouth. Ash takes the tip of leather between his teeth and pulls the head back as it obediently slides through Okumura’s hand.

The blond man stands still with his eyes close, more from the habit than necessity. He can sense boss more this way, wider, stronger. Or maybe Ash just feels less guilty for needing it so much. Okumura’s naked fingers lock Ash’s chin, causing the pain in every part of the face and the man quietly moans. It burns when Okumura’s thumb pushes Ash’s lower lip, where the small open wound is, and cuts it hard with the nail, hitting it deeper. And it bleeds. Ash feels it hot and salty on Okumura’s finger, as he opens mouth from the pain, and takes the taste of boss skin for the first time.

Just a tip of the tongue tastes the sweetness, and that’s as much as Ash gets. Okumura moves his hand away and it stings so bad, but Ash wants the pain from this man. At the same time, he knows that the game time is over. 

Talk with Shorter brought this huge pain inside the chest - everything has changed. Aslan wasn’t pretending to be Ash. It’s Ash who pretends that he’ll be able to come back and live as Aslan. Griffin was holding him back from ending this undercover for so long, and Ash still wants to learn the truth, but more than that he feels so captivated by this man in front. Ash feels alive because he can hate him and just an idea of not doing it anymore, makes this life worthless.

“I’m just a sex toy to you. Not even this… you don’t feel attracted to me. So why? Why you need this?”

Ash knows he won’t get an answer, but this question is running through his head all over again, for the past few days. Okumura grabs on Ash’s jacket and pulls closer to himself. His heat is intoxicating, but Ash doesn’t give up.

“Why should I feel attracted to you, Lynx? Who do you think you are?” 

He admits. He admits that it’s always has been one-sided.

For the first time, Okumura is not avoiding direct close eye contact and Ash can’t even blink as they look at each other. It seems like boss reads every thought of his. Okumura’s eyes are dark brown like best quality chocolate with strips of black - the sign of absolute night in his soul. But that chocolate can also grow hard from the cold harsh reality that is apparent in this world. Heartbreak, or the depression that he hid from all those around him so well. That’s who Okumura is. That moment Ash couldn’t help but remember Alex’s words: _ He’s damaged_. And that’s why he knows how to survive, what to say, how to control.

“Then why won’t you play these games with your fiancee?” 

Ash stands still, feeling how some sort of disturbing feeling overtakes him slowly. Of course, he doesn’t want to admit what it means. Ash wants to be angry and frustrated, he wants to continue making excuses for himself.

Okumura burns Ash with the void, but for a moment it seems slightly different than always. Ash could say, boss looks almost confused. Didn’t Okumura realize that Ash can do the math?

“Are you jealous?” Okumura grins and Ash understands how dumb and obvious his question was. 

_ But he’s not. Not. _

Okumura steps back and gracefully take his necktie between fingers, starts to loosen, until expensive material falls on the floor.

“It’s because I know who you are, and what you need… you’re all the same. You all need only one thing...”

Ash can’t believe this is happening. His heart stucks somewhere in the throat, as he tries to think of something to say, to tell that Okumura is wrong but nothing comes to his head. It’s like one of Ash's dreams, but stronger and more realistic. Okumura takes off another glove and then unbuttons his shirt. His fingers move faster and faster opening the magnificent piece of art underneath.

He doesn’t give any order, but Ash still moves forward and comes closer. At that moment shirt and jacket fall leaving Okumura in front of Ash half-naked. His back leans against the wall as Okumura softly touches his neck with fingertips and runs down through sharply visible collarbone. The room is drowning in the darkness and shadows from outside, playing on the naked body perfectly adds up every single thing missing.

_ You’re all the same. _

Ash knows he can’t touch and he doesn’t intend to make the same mistake, but a force from deep within makes him move forward for them to connect. Ash expects Okumura to be cold as a statue, but his warmth is real.

“I own you… and that’s why you’ll crawl back to me, even if it will be the last thing you do.” Okumura whispers next to Ash’s ear. “Right? Lynx?” his burning tongue finds its way and licks Ash’s ear. Okumura made this part of Ash exclusively sensitive, to the point where every nerve just starts screaming, asking for relief inside him. “Answer.”

While Ash tries to control his breathing holding palms against the wall and scraping it with nails. Okumura’s hands slide down and unfasten Ash’s belt, grabs on his crotch, slides through exposed erection. 

“I’m not like them…” Ash feels dizzy as their lips almost touch, and he has to fight with a desire to suck deeply inside. He never thought about it until now.

Okumura presses Ash's cock harder under the pants and Ash groans closing his eyes and raising head a bit. Okumura bites Ash’s chin licking the skin, as the blond man moves even closer, pressing boss against the wall, feeling his hard body. 

Ash’s pants fall and the hard cock twitches between Okumura’s cold fingers. Ash doesn’t think he’s allowed to be closer than now, but suddenly he's pressed even harder when Okumura warps one of his legs around Ash’s naked thighs. Okumura keeps stroking the base back and forward and teases the wet tip, loudly breathing into Ash’s ear until the blond man moans as an answer.

“Fuck me... Fuck me like you always do. You know you need. Stop pretending.” Okumura’s voice like prey opens everything inside and Ash knows he breaks here and now for this man. 

_ How he dares. _

Okumura’s pants are pulled down and his naked round ass is so open in this position, Ash’s cock painfully twitches when Okumura pushes the wet tip to the hole and hugs Ash around shoulders with his free hand.

“You know what you want,” he repeats.

Ash thrusts his hips up and shoves the cock inside as deep and he can in this position. Ash quietly groans from pleasure, even though Okumura doesn’t give back any reaction. 

“Bite…” Boss suddenly grabs on Ash’s hair and presses it against his neck hard. 

He doesn’t need to repeat. Ash never wanted it, as Okumura was always the one biting, but now it seems essential. Ash’s open his hungry lips and lets teeth into a forbidden land, moans again hard, pulling out and impatiently fucking that heavenly body again and again. 

Ash always senses the rich smell coming from Okumura. It was a bit sweet but toxic - this time it's different and has an effect of aphrodisiac, makes Ash’s harder inside him. Boss smells like flowers and fruits raised with a lot of sun and care. His skin like sugar melts inside the mouth and Ash moans even louder while pounding him faster and faster. Every move he makes hits the wall strong and reflects the body. Ash bites again a little bit lower, the taste is divine - how he can get enough. 

Ash wants to touch he wants to hear Okumura’s quiet moans, like always, to make this moment complete. But he is silent. Ash's lips move a bit up and he’s not biting anymore just touching.

“Who told you, you can do that?” 

Suddenly like shaken from a boring slumber, Okumura grabs on Ash's hair harder and pulls him back. The move is so fast that Ash loses his balance and falls on the floor. Okumura is watching him from above with erotic flushed skin, where Ash bit and wet thighs covered by Ash’s inner juices when he was forced to pull out.

Okumura steps forward and straddles him then kneels on the floor.

“Hands,” he warns and then lets Ash enter him again.

The blond man raises his lower part to reach deeper and it enters hard, where it’s still unstretched. It should be extremely painful, but Okumura’s face is empty. Because they always did it in complete darkness Ash never saw is he always like that. Surely not bad as this time, Ash remembers his silent painful cries - they are gone now. Okumura’s underwear is not completely down, but Ash sees that the material is clean and the cock is flaccid. Despite that, Okumura rides him faster and deeper. His eyes are pointed at the ceiling and lips a bit open as he holds on Ash’s waist, squeezing the sweater between fingers, and takes him deep down until balls. Ash barely holds back from coming and groaning, he has to bite lower lip and makes it bleed again.

“I need---” Ash starts, but then Okumura stops.

He’s tired. Ash hears his hard breathing almost can feel body pulsating from physical work, but that doesn’t stop him from burning Ash’s with a deadly glare. Okumura takes the belt out and leans forward, forcefully and painfully shutting Ash’s mouth with the leather.

“Shut up.” he binds Ash’s voice, together with lips. “Shut up…” the second time it sounds somehow desperate and even a little bit painful. 

Okumura moves his hips again, this time in circles, then up and down, taking it as deep as possible. Ash bites the belt as his body trembles from a desire to finish inside of him. He needs to pull out now.

Suddenly Okumura stops. He freezes and painfully deeply sighs. 

“I don’t… feel… anything.” he mutters so silently and scared that Ash isn’t very sure was it real or not. "I don't feel...."

This is exactly the point Ash was talking about. If Okumura doesn’t feel anything else than pain.. doing it doesn’t make sense. _ Unless…. unless he doesn’t feel… anything at all. Not even pain anymore. _

Okumura’s hands holding belt shivers and he lets the thing go, then stands up. Ash only stares at boss enlightened by the soft light shadows from the outside. It’s the first time Ash sees him so clear. Some sort of fear pierces the chest. There are red strains on the inner part of his thighs. Ash knew… he always knew it’s bad, but never deeply thought before. _ Because he didn’t care. Because all of it meant absolutely nothing. It didn't. _

Ash slowly sits watching Okumura buttoning the shirt. Boss takes his jacket and necktie, not even glaring at the belt or gloves. _ It’s odd. _

“Why did you take me here? To be your sex toy?” Ash asks. He had to tell something, to stop him. Letting him out now is wrong. _ It’s not how it should end. Not today. Not after he heard Okumura so desperate. _

“Didn’t you want to take revenge for Lee’s clan? So, learn about them. No other reason.” Okumura walks towards the door, but Ash jumps, pulling his pants up and grabs on Okumura's shirt.

“Wait...” Ash takes a deep breath and then slides down his arm until he holds Okumura’s wrist. “Wait…”

Ash doesn’t want to lose this chance, this small sparkle he felt coming from boss. The blond man wants to find words. _ What can you tell to someone like him? How can Ash ask for something he doesn't have any right to know? _ Ash’s hand goes even further until their fingers meet.

Okumura suddenly flinches, as he turns around at Ash and roughly takes his hand out. Ash can’t tell, but for one moment he thinks that he sees Okumura’s cheeks flushed. But now it's just boss staring Ash, with boundless hate for what he has done. And the same amount of disappointment as Ash wasn’t able to give him the masochist pain Okumura needed. _ But he bleeds. How badly he wants to get hurt? _

“You’re going back to New York.” he lowers voice and it isn’t something Ash could accept or not. It’s indisputable and final. 

Ash can’t say anything, but he slowly shakes the head. Okumura is running from something. _ What he’ll do? _ _ Send him back to do lower jobs because Ash couldn’t satisfy his sickness? _ _ And then find someone else? Ash is sure Okumura felt something else, and that’s why he was so scared_. 

“Boss…” he starts, but Okumura turns around and leaves him in the middle of the room. Their first and the last talk. 

Until the very end, Ash wasn’t able to figure him out.

Boss opens the door and something happens. He drops his jacket, grasps on something, and without any sound. After a moment grabs on his right side and leans down, holding the door frame. This all lasted just a few seconds.

“Boss!” Ash runs to him and then looks at the hallway where steps are disappearing. He doesn’t think too much, before running after the men. Ash is probably faster than anyone in this building. But as he catches up and recognizes the wide back, Ash regrets not staying in the room.

“Shorter…” he silently calls, slowing the steps, but the man heard him already. “Why…?”

“Why??” he turns around and almost drops to Ash. “Are you insane?? What are you doing, letting yourself be humiliated like that??”

“It’s not like that… He doesn’t force me.” Ash sighs finally admitting it to himself. “You do realize what you have done? You started the war and this time no one will be able to stop it! Why you stabbed him??” Ash grabs on Shorter’s sweater. He has never felt so angry at him before.

“Do you hear yourself?? I stabbed fucking Okumura, the boss of the clan you want to destroy! Shouldn’t you thank me?! I stabbed not only because it was an order, but because he’s _fucking _my best friend! And totally brainwashed you! Aslan, open your eyes!”

“You were standing and listening..?! He is not _fucking _me! And even if someone had to stab him, it was me, not you! And what do you mean _ order _??” Ash lets Shorter go and jumps back. He can’t explain where the rage is coming from, but Ash wishes he had a gun now.

“I told you to stay away… You shouldn’t have come here. Now it’s too late. Yue-Lung never intended to have a deal with Okumura clan. This was planned from the beginning and I was only waiting for the chance!” Shorter is talking through his teeth almost shivering. He is satisfied with becoming a bitch for Yue-Lung. It’s clear.

They both look back from where they came when the sound of a gunshot cross the air.

“Only because it’s you Shorter, I won’t say anything. Stay the fuck away from my business. Okumura Eiji is mine and I’ll be the one to end him.” Ash warns him and runs back from where he came, ignoring Shorter’s call to wait.

Ash reaches the room, but it’s empty. The jacket is also gone. Ash swears loudly regretting again for chasing after Shorter and rushes to the place where he remembers seeing their guards - Okumura’s room. On his way he jumps over the dead body - it’s one of Lee’s men. 

“Boss!” Ash reaches the room and barges in without the invitation.

He is here, also a few other guards and traitor Sing. But not everyone.

“Where are others?” Ash asks, coming inside.

“Probably dead.” Sing sighs checking if his guns are fully loaded. “Did you get the guy who tried to attack boss?”

_ Only tried? _ Ash slowly shakes his head and quickly glances at Okumura, who is standing near the window. Shorter admitted that he stabbed him, but he doesn’t look in pain. He stands straight and gracefully as always, but the buttoned jacket is hiding the truth. _ Does Sing know? _

“Give Lynx a gun.” Okumura orders and both Ash and Sing quickly exchanges looks.

Sing walks to him and gives one of his guns. PC356 is not Ash’s favorite, but holding a gun for the first after so long feels great. Powerful. He could use it however he wants, even this very second.

“Aim at the head. We don’t have enough bullets to waste.” Sing explains and Ash nods.

“Who exactly should I shoot?”

“Everyone in our way.” Okumura’s deep voice stabs, making the air roughly vibrate and Ash looks away. 

_ Something has changed inside of Ash. He doesn’t know what yet. _

“Sir, the plane is ready to take off. We should go now.” Sing nods and one of the guards thoughtfully leaves first. 

Okumura is in the middle, next to him Sing. Ash with another guard in the back.

Ash carefully watches boss, but he doesn’t make any odd moves. Okumura walks calmly as if it was just a daily walk around the house.

A sound blows the air, just next to the stairs, and the guard next to Ash falls instantly. Ash turns around and for one second, just of old habit as a cop, he wants to aim at legs but he's in time to realize that everything is different now and makes a hole right in the head. Lee’s guard falls. Sing is already checking their man, but he’s dead. 

They go down the stairs. The first floor is covered in bodies from both clans. While Ash was fucking boss, neither of them realized how the war started. 

Ash breaths out. _ It doesn’t make sense. _ From the other side, suddenly everything does. Why Shorter told Ash to meet - because he knew the shooting will start, that also explains why Shorter told Ash to go back using the back door. Later Yue-Lung keeping Sing busy. And what if Okumura came to Ash room because he knew it’s not safe to stay at his? _ He knew it. _ _ But. If he knew then why he didn’t do anything to stop it? _

“Leaving so soon, Eiji? You were a fucking coward years ago and you still are.” the voice reaches them from the top of the stairs. 

It’s Lee. He smiles widely looking at the graveyard downstairs. Everyone aims at Lee at the same time, but boss moves first. He grabs the gun from Ash and without any hesitation shoots.

Few things happen at the same time. Ash notices Lee’s surprised face and Shorter running towards him. Ash almost screams. If Ash did - the next bullet would have gone through his head. But in the end, he only shivers, swallowing the scream when Shorter covers Lee just a second before the bullet reaches them. 

It hits Shorter's back.

“Sir!” Sing shouts and Okumura walks from there. Ash has to collect all of his strengths to do the same.

_ I’m sorry, Shorter. I’m sorry, Shorter. I’m sorry, Shorter. _

Something loud and annoying is beeping inside the head and Ash doesn’t catch when and how they sit inside the car and drive through all the city until the airport. Everyone is silent, just Sing calls someone a few times, but Ash can't hear him - all sounds seem the same. 

Strange how Sing didn’t push Okumura to get killed there. Then Okumura would be lying there instead of Shorter. Everything would have ended.

“Boss, we arrived.” Sing loudly states and Ash is pulled back to reality from his thoughts.

Okumura is sitting on the other side of the seat, looking through the window with his head pressed to the glass. 

“Boss?”

Ash moves closer and carefully touches his shoulder, but the man doesn’t move, his eyes are shut.

“Boss?” 

Ash tries not to touch him too much in case he wakes up, but it doesn’t seem to happen. Sing quickly goes out, and opens the door from Okumura's side. Ash is just in time to pull the body back, or else he would have fallen out of the car.

“Maybe he lost too much blood?” Ash wraps arms around boss's shoulders. It’s too dark to confirm it here. Ash barely sees Okumura's face.

“What do you mean? Was he actually stabbed? He didn’t say anything!” Sing swears, as he runs through his hair with fingers and quickly looks in front. “We need to move now.” He attempts to take over Okumura from Ash’s hands, but the blond man shakes his head.

“I will carry him… you better stay alert just in case.”

Ash presses Okumura to himself a little bit closer and Sing doesn’t have time to think. Also, Ash doesn’t want Sing to touch him. 

Sing nod then gives orders for the driver and the only guard, who stayed alive, to cover Ash and boss from the back.

Ash gets out from the other side and then comes around to take Okumura. He pushes one knee against the seat, wraps hands around boss, taking him out of the vehicle. 

Ash felt his weight and body so many times, but never like that… not in a sexual way. Okumura is light, and not hard to carry, nearly pleasant. He seems vulnerable and so much smaller, almost soft, and incredibly peaceful. Someone who needs to be protected. _ Would he? _ Ash holds Okumura against the chest a little bit harder when the dark-haired head falls on Ash's shoulder. So many opportunities to sense, even to brush with lips through his hair. Use this chance and feel him for real.

But since the time they left Lee’s residence, some part of Ash stayed there. It doesn’t seem real. He doesn’t want to believe. Ash never through he will have to choose. 

They reach the plane without any disturbance and they let Ash enter with boss first. This time Ash doesn’t wait for orders, he places boss on one of the couches and pulls up his clothes.

As he thought, the jacket is already socket in blood. Because of the black color, it wasn't visible. The white shirt is a red mess. As soon as the door closes, the engine starts and the plane slowly moves from the spot.

“It doesn’t seem deep. More like a cut… he may have had low blood sugars because he hasn’t eaten anything today and then this... FUCK THEM!” Sing curses loudly without any control, most likely because boss can’t hear him.

Ash doesn’t answer. He knows a little bit about wounds because of his work. Ash has to admit, it doesn’t look that bad. If it’s the truth and Okumura didn’t take anything in the mouth, it might be a reason why he fainted so soon.

They use the first aid, to patch the wound as much as possible until they reach Japan in four hours. Sing's private doctor will meet them there. That moment Ash feels like a huge rock fell off his shoulders because boss will be fine. Also, he can’t let himself make conclusions about Shorter too fast.

They are in the air for more than two hours now and Ash feels how restless night finally hits him. He sits next to boss's head, looking at his calm, young face almost daydreaming of leaning a bit down to rest, but then realizes one thing. Okumura is looking at him. 

Suddenly Ash blinks and jumps back, Okumura like always without any expression moves his head to the side. It’s just incredible. He must be in so much pain.

“Where are we?” he asks.

“Over Japan's sea. We will land in an hour and twenty minutes” Sing quickly jumps from his seat, when Okumura sits straight and lets fingers into his rich black hair. “Boss, how are you feeling?”

“Don’t ask unnecessary questions.” he sighs, slowly standing up. "Did you call Ibe?"

"I texted him before taking off. I thought it's too dangerous, to reach the main house right now. We will see the doctor first."

Okumura takes out his phone scrolling down when suddenly the whole place moves. Ash grabs on the seat. _ Was it the turbulence? _

“What’s---” Sing’s words are interrupted by another shake, this time even harder than the first one And the air pressure suddenly rises to the point, where Ash hears screeching inside his head.

They are falling. Way too fast. By the huge force, Okumura is pushed back and falls on the set next to Ash.

“We lost control of the aircraft!” The loud voice from the radio announces. “System suddenly stopped working!” 

“What?!” Sing is on the floor from the pressure but he crawls towards the staff door. Ash is about to stand up, but the third time the plane trembles - was the last he clearly remembers.

Everything turns into giant chaos, the sound, the lack of air in the lungs. Ash doesn’t care anymore will he be punched or killed because of this. He doesn’t try to find excuses or search for the reasons - those were instincts. To protect. To keep him unharmed. 

Ash reaches for the boss's hand with his whole body and falls on him together with another hit. Ash hugs him around the waist and shoulders, holding him against the chest. _He’s safe._

And then everything else loses the meaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commonly asked questions:  
Q: How much time has passed since Ash entered the clan?  
A: Around two years. He lives in Japan for approx 7 months now.
> 
> Q: How the past events go in the fic?  
A: Chapter 2,3 - Griffin's story.// Chapter 4 - Eiji's teens (the beginning).// Chapter 5,6 - Griffin's story (end) // Chapter 7 - Eiji's past story will reach the end.


	5. Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some very exciting news to share! First of all, FIVE new fan arts since the last chapter! I STILL CAN'T STOP SCREAMING, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL. Please, give artists your support if you like the story!!  
By [Rainphones](https://twitter.com/rainphones): [A scene from chapter 4](https://twitter.com/rainphones/status/1227927445623492608?s=20) AND [ A scene from this chapter 5](https://twitter.com/rainphones/status/1233341272137641989?s=20)  
By [Mari](https://twitter.com/okumuramari): [Marion (teen years)](https://twitter.com/Vitavilii/status/1231138022244016129?s=20) AND [Boss Okumura (teen years)](https://twitter.com/okumuramari/status/1233589397578305536?s=20)  
By [AishaKami](https://twitter.com/aisha_kami): [Boss Okumura](https://twitter.com/aisha_kami/status/1227410716786937857?s=20)
> 
> And the second important thing, that I need to share is.... thanks to another wonderful person, ABANDONED IS CURRENTLY BEING TRANSLATED INTO SPANISH!!! [link in the summary]
> 
> As always, warning for the triggers! Most important for this chapter: a convo about rape and physical traumas, very deep psychological trauma :C  
The last part (in italic) Eiji's Childhood. Memories from Griffin's POV

His arms are empty. There's no one to hold, no one leaning on him. It’s cold and bare. For one moment Ash thought that he might save boss - he was wrong. The light should have saved him from the darkness, but made only worse. 

It’s hard to breathe, the pain is crushing Ash's sides, lungs. The wave of odd heat burns the skin, but there is no sound. It’s still cold. 

_ Where is… he? Where is Okumura? _

“Lynx! Shit… Lynx, wake up! Hey!”

This voice is the most annoying. Because it's not the one Ash wants to hear. Not the one that can wake him up.

_ Where is he? _

The painful fire is spreading through the body. Someone tries to rip his skin off. Ash wants to answer with the scream, but can't breathe.

“Don’t pull him like that, fuck! Something might be broken!” Another voice comes in the range. Still not the one Ash needs. “Leave him, try to find some blanket inside. Boss, it's okay...”

_ Boss? _

“What’s okay?” a scared whisper tickles the air and then Ash takes a first sharp but deep gulp of air.

The sky is bright blue with no clouds, almost like from some sort of a dream – the color which doesn’t exist. It’s freezing. Ash slowly turns his head to the side as he grips sand between fingers. It’s okay – everything is real. The pain; sounds of waving sea and the shadows in front of him. The darkest one is shining the brightest. Ash opens his lips and reaches the distance with the quiet groan.

“Ash! Wait, here, boss… please.” Sing makes pause after adding the last word and blocks he view, as he’s coming closer and closer. 

_ Move away. _

“Finally, damn it. We’re in deep shit. How are you feeling?” Sing sighs and kneels next to Ash on the sand. 

Sing is bleeding from the small cut in his right temple. His top is covered only with a partly ripped and dirty white shirt, sleeves folded until elbows. Other than that, Sing doesn’t seem severely injured. _ Why? Isn’t this his fault that they ended up like here? Isn’t he working with Lee? _

Sing reaches for Ash, but the blond man stops his hand. There is no need to pretend worried, not about him. But if they are stuck here, wherever it is, they might need to survive together.

“I don’t know.” Ash sighs, as he tries to sit up, but it stings everywhere. Doesn’t seem that his legs or arms are broken, but not so sure about other parts. “I think I broke at least a few ribs. It hurts if I take a deep breath.” Ash finds something to lean on, most likely a part of the plane, and Sing helps him to sit – this time Ash doesn’t resist. “What happened? And how deep is the shit?”

“Well, they were able to land partly the plane… so we didn’t completely crash, and we’re in the island, probably not so far away from the mainland – but that’s where good news end.” 

Sing slowly sits down more comfortably. He's not showing it, but the material might be hiding some other injures. Ash is still too dizzy after everything. _How can this be even worse?_

“So? What’s bad? Did someone die? Did you manage to reach anyone from the clan through the radio?” Ash continues asking as he slowly presses his side to see where it hurts the most.

“No, everyone survived. And I didn’t call anyone, because it might be too risky… they might be listening… anyone in the clan could be a traitor.” Sing explains with a deep sigh pinching the bridge of his nose.

_ How about the fact that the traitor is Sing? _ Ash sets his lips into a narrow line. _ What if they’re here only because Sing is waiting for Lee to come and finish his job? _ Ash isn’t naïve, he’s sure that the Chinese snake has something to do with all of this.

“How is boss?” Ash changes the topic lowering his voice.

“About that… it’s the shit… that I was talking about.” Sing glances over his shoulder and then looks back at Ash.

“What...?” Ash freezes. Some annoying beeping corrupts his mind and he forgets about everything. Ash is sure that he saw Sing talking with him. 

_ Unless… _

“Get up… and see for yourself.” Sing looks like he wants to say something but changes his mind. “For what pilots last saw, we shouldn’t be too far from the fishing area. If we’re lucky, we might get out today. Then I can reach the right people.”

“Don’t you think we need to reach Ibe first?” Ash changes his voice. 

This is getting too suspicious. _ Who else Sing might reach? And waiting for fishermen? _ If Sing thinks boss will ever walk to some random boat, he doesn’t know that man at all.

“Leave security things for me.” Sing laughs nervously. This time Ash notices something else – he's anxious.

Finally, Ash is on his feet. The head is spinning a bit, but as he steps forward it doesn’t worsen. Ash walks towards the man sitting on the log. His shoulders are covered with a jacket and a blanket making him looking way smaller than he is. Sing stays a little bit behind as Ash continues walking. Boss is staring at his hands, and even from the distance, Ash sees how they’re shivering. _ Is he scared? _

_ No way that’s possible. Not for the King like him. _

“Boss?” Ash tries to call him and gets ready either to be ignored or sent away. 

It takes a few seconds too long, but the man looks up. His face is scratched, lips dry and cheeks dirty. Ash has never seen him with this kind of messed hair before - always smoothly combined, but now covering his forehead and even falling on wide-open frightened eyes – completely out of the role. Boss is looking at Ash as seeing him for the first time.

“Hello…” Okumura lifts the corner of his lips and softly blushes.

Ash stares.

“What is this?” Ash slowly turns at Sing, almost complaining.

“Do I look like a doctor for you? I don’t know. Fuck I wish I knew… without him as THE boss, we are screwed. That’s one of the reasons why I can’t call anyone from the clan. If the wrong person finds out….” Sing is talking openly, without any fear to be heard. “Do you understand why we are in the shit now?”

“That might be some serious trauma, we have to get him to the hospital as soon as possible. What the hell Sing? Why you’re doing this?” Ash suddenly turns around and even though the pain grabs on Sing’s shirt. “Do you understand how bad this is? Are you seeking advantages for yourself??” 

“Get off, Lynx! What are you talking about?! You’re the one who doesn’t understand a shit here! He’s the head of the most dangerous clan in Japan. If someone… _ anyone _ finds out about his condition - it’s over. Also, Lee clan probably thinks that he’s dead, so let’s keep it this way.” Sing tries to release himself, but as adrenaline rush runs through all the body, Ash is not letting him go. “Fuck, Ash, really?! Let me go… damn it. What’s gotten into you!”

“Please… don’t fight. It’s… wrong.” only when a weak voice almost near tears reaches Ash’s, he lets Sing go. He falls on the sand.

“Fuck… I understand that you’re disturbed, but hold your shit together, Lynx.” Sing sighs and with the hand stops the guard, who is running like a bull towards them. “I’ll go around the island to check the situation… I couldn’t leave him alone.” Sing slowly stands up not looking Ash in the eyes and then walks away to speak with another guard.

Ash sighs and grabs on his side when the pain hits unexpectedly hard. _Seriously, what they supposed to do now? _Sing may think that Ash can’t think rationally, but he’s just worried that everything here was planned from the beginning. That Sing himself is a part of Okumura's destruction. It’s not the first time Ash tries to think of how many enemies this person has. _Forget police and FBI, who always breathes in his throat, but what about people inside his world? Other clans? Someone so powerful like Lee? Traitors from the inside?_ Ash used to think that all of this was just because of the goods, but not anymore – everything is about power. Do they even know the real reason for those endless wars? Ash came from a completely different world, but he’s not sure where he belongs anymore. More precisely, where he _wants_ to belong.

Ash turns at the man behind. Okumura is again looking at his hands, like seeing something that no one else can. Ash hesitates for a moment, but slowly walks closer and sits down next to boss. _ How much does he remember? Or is this just a temporary disorder? Maybe stress? _Ash doesn’t feel any waves of darkness coming from him. Okumura's presence isn’t intense or cold. He’s just there. Scared. As any other normal human would be. Ash knows he might be risking everything, since yesterday's rejection, but Boss’s hands don’t stop shivering. Ash can’t hold back anymore – he desperately needs to hold on them.

Ash reaches for him and hugs his fingers, but the man suddenly flinches and moves a bit back. Both look at each other at the same time. Ash is frozen – Okumura seems lost.

“I’m sorry…” Ash speaks quietly, ready to move back as far as he needs. He went overboard again. But Ash keeps fingers on boss’s skin. Okumura hasn't pushed him away completely.

“I… no… I think, my wrist might be broken. It hurts.” 

His voice is quiet but soft – so different from everything Ash has experienced until now. _ Talk. Talk more _.

“Hurts?” Ash makes a pause to see if he got this right. “Can I look at it?”

Okumura nods but doesn’t look down from Ash. 

Ash tries to understand how lost boss feels right now. Who would have ever thought they might end in this situation? Ash takes Okumura's right hand carefully between fingers.

“Your hand is cold… it feels good.” 

Boss sighs and shivers again, while Ash tries to function. He barely can focus on a mission to check the damage. All Ash sees, and feels is long fingers and soft skin. As Ash lifts the sleeve of his shirt a bit, where the red flames begin. Ash slides through the skin with fingertips until he is called out again by a gasp.

“Here…” Okumura whines and that very second every part of Ash sudden was filled with a need to move forward. So he did. 

As their eyes meet, Ash clearly remembers, how he hugged Boss back in the plane. Okumura pushed him away, and Ash fell back on the floor. What a stupid move it was. Later memories are way more chaotic. Ash wanted to believe that the need to protect is not one-sided, but it was. From the beginning until then, everything was only Ash’s imagination, a childish need to get a response. They lived for themselves, they tried to save their own life, not each other.

“Your eyes are so beautiful…”

“What?” 

The man next to him is tenderly smiling.

“You were looking at me… so I thought about it. Your hands are gentle too…” Okumura continues talking and Ash wishes to have something to slap himself with. Something to wake him up. He never imagined, even in his wildest dreams, to hear Okumura Eiji saying these words. Not from those lips, which can only hurt.

_ Something inside is burning. _

Ash sees how tired boss’s eyes are. It’s hard for him to keep vision focused. Okumura blinks few times, completely dizzy and looks down again, murmuring something for himself.

“Does it hurt anywhere else?” Ash asks after a pause. He lets Boss’s hand go and hugs his face. Okumura pushes the face harder against the skin. Ash is almost sure – boss doesn’t understand what he’s saying. There is no point to take him too seriously.

“My head… is boiling… could you… keep your hands like that?” he howls, leaning forward and before Ash answers, boss is already too close to refuse.

“You… shouldn’t fall asleep… okay?” Ash lets him lean on the shoulder, but is a bit scared, that boss might hear how Ash’s heart is pounding. “Boss?” he calls him, but there is no answer. “Eiji…?”

After calling his name every part of the body suddenly stings. It’s the first time. The combination of those letters goes through lips and it feels like it was meant to be this way. Ash might be still dizzy - everything seems unreal.

“Eiji…” he repeats. “I like how it sounds from your lips.” 

These words coming from him hit too hard. _ Beautiful. _ Ash doesn’t understand what is happening but who cares for now. Eiji's face in Ash’s palm seems so small, Ash never thought about it before. Ash rubs the skin and moves back a few strands from his forehead. Eiji’s face seems calm.

“Don’t sl—”

“I’m not sleeping.” He deeply sighs and opens eyes. “There is this black hole inside my head… and it hurts so much to try to figure something out. I’m just tired… that other man said that I’m a boss of a yakuza clan. Honestly? I don’t care, I just want to rest a bit.”

Ash can’t control himself, he silently laughs, trying to imagine how Sing desperately tries to make Eiji understand how important he is. But he just shrugs and doesn’t give a damn about it. Ash doesn’t have any idea how dangerous it might be, and why suddenly Eiji became so trusting. Maybe he’s is in so much pain, that nothing makes sense for him. 

_ He feels pain. He feels. _

“Did he also touch you?” this randomly slips through, but Ash can’t control it.

“Who?” Eiji waits for a bit. “He seemed even too scared to put a blanket on me… am I so scary?”

“No… you are not.” Again. Lips speak first than Ash thinks_ . _

_ But is he lying? _ Boss was intimidating, but Ash never thought that he fears him. All the way around, from the first moments, Ash tried to get closer.

“Good. I wonder why it feels safe when you are here. I watched you before you woke up and I couldn’t stop the sad feeling…”

_ Sad feeling? _

“Who are you to me?” 

Eiji asks again when Ash doesn’t answer, only keeps playing with Eiji’s hair. _ Is it strange, if he always wanted to do that, but was too afraid to go against the rules? _ Not because of fear for this man. Ash just didn’t want to lose the fragile connection they had. He thought it might be something real. Because Eiji was the first person who made him feel something stronger. 

It’s easy. It’s easy to blame the crash and admit everything that didn't leave Ash in peace for months. He’s tired of fighting with himself. Ash cares to find out what happened to Griff and that won’t change, but maybe _ just maybe _ he’ll find something new with it. 

_ But who is he to Eiji? _ The question Ash can’t answer.

Eiji doesn’t ask again. They sit in silence until Ash finally realizes how hot Eiji's forehead is. He has a fever, and God knows what kind of other injures. Sing is taking suspiciously too long.

“I’ll go check something, could you stay here?” Ash gently brushes over his skin waits until Eiji nods. He doesn’t lift eyes and seems a bit lost.

Ash stands up. It hurts everywhere, but if they don’t move quickly, this might end up very badly. The island can’t be this big, Sing must be somewhere nearby, or Ash must find a way to run things faster than Sing will.

“Wait.” he’s stopped by a weak grip on his jacket. If not the voice, Ash wouldn’t even notice. “Could… you not… leave?” 

It’s hard for Eiji to ask. It’s even harder for Ash to properly react to this. He’s not used to this soft and tender man. On the other hand, Ash doesn’t see a way how to refuse. Ash kneels in front of him on the warm sand and warps into blanket a bit tighter. Eiji’s face is clear like never, so open, almost heartbreaking sad. Ash rubs his dirty cheek with a thumb, Eiji frowns and closes his eyes for a moment like a child.

“I found someone who can take us to the mainland!” Sing’s shouting completely ruins the moment. Eiji is the first to lean back. “They will take three of us, and I’ll send for guard and pilots someone later.”

Ash doesn’t have another choice just to go with that. If it’s only three of them plus some fisherman, Ash might be able to fight Sing. Ash takes Eiji’s hand which is not hurt and helps him to stand up, while Sing speaks with others. Eiji's legs are shivering. He grabs on Ash’s shoulder to keep the balance. 

“Can you walk?” Ash wants to suggest carry him, but it might be impossible in Eiji's condition. The pain already spread all over the chest and it was harder to breathe with every moment.

“Yes, I’m fine… you seem pale.” Eiji glances at Ash but turns his eyes away because Sing is staring too intense.

They slowly walk and in silence, Sing tells them to take off jackets, and stay only with shirts. With messy hair, worried face and dirty clothes Eiji seems like nothing more than a lost boy. Ash imaged to see some small boat but it’s a whole yacht. All of them would have fit in easily. The Japanese man seems friendly, they talk with Sing, but Ash doesn’t listen. He's more focused on Eiji. They must walk through the water to reach the vehicle and it’s freezing. At some point, Ash is already holding Eiji’s weight and tries to ignore his own pain.

“Boss's wrist is broken, tell him to be careful,” Ash warns Sing when the fisherman from above is reaching for Eiji. “It’s okay, I’ll be behind you.” 

Eiji doesn’t ask, but when he looks over the shoulder Ash feels a need to tell that and he nodded.

“Well, you didn’t waste your time, Ash. You _ do _ know that what you’re doing is wrong.” Sing holds Ash for a second when he is about to climb the lad.

“Me?” Ash suddenly laughs. “What’s wrong with _ you _ ? We would perfectly fit here, why did you leave them? Who’s inside your head, Sing?” Ash leans forward. He on purpose asked _ who _ and not _ what _.

“What are you talking about?” he makes a longer pause than necessary before answering. “I didn’t take them, because we can’t trust anyone. And I trusted you enough to take with us. You just don’t seem to understand how important Boss is.”

Ash only winks. Sing knows how to get away, but he might now suspect that Ash knows something, but that's only better.

Once all three of them are on the deck, the fisherman starts the engine. The wind outside is freezing, and he’s nice enough to let them get inside a small room with a couch. Ash sits next to Eiji without any words and the man leans against Ash’s shoulder. This time Sing doesn’t comment anything. He takes his phone and quickly starts typing, after a few minutes when it rings leaves the room.

“I think he is searching for a hospital, that could take care of you,” Ash explains as Eiji’s eyes follow Sing walking out.

“How about you? And him? You also need to ch--…” Eiji sighs and frowns again. Ash guess that he feels more pain than he shows.

“Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” Ash tries to get a clear look in his eyes, but it’s harder than before.

“I’m a bit… scared.” Eiji finally admits as he grips Ash’s shirt.

“Don’t be, Eiji. Don’t be…” Ash doesn’t know what else to say, he never had to comfort someone this way, not someone important… not someone that just not long ago, wouldn’t even let to touch himself.

“Don’t you feel scared as well?” he murmurs, when Ash leans a bit more comfortably, and rest his cheek on Eiji’s head.

“No… I know….” Ash wants to say, _ I know that you are safe _, but makes in time to change his mind. “I know that everything going to be okay.”

Eiji doesn’t answer, but Ash feels how squeezes the material between fingers a bit stronger, Ash lays his fingers on his. To be honest, he's also scared, but about different things. Ash is scared to find out that something bad happened to him, he’s scared that Eiji might be stuck in this crazy illusion of soft and gentle man forever, but at the same time, he’s scared for Eiji to come back to his old self. 

“I heard this somewhere before…” 

Eiji whispers after some time and Ash just now realizes that he’s humming one of the melodies that Griffin used to sing when Ash was afraid of pumpkin monster under his bed. The melody just came out, like most of the lullabies it had the same rhythm. Maybe someone used to sing Eiji a similar one.

“Eiji?” 

Ash calls when his breathing becomes a bit slower. It’s incredibly strange to talk with him so casually. Ash would prefer just to hold him, while he still can. Ash wanted to calm him down but Eiji must not fall asleep. 

“Why we are here?” Eiji slowly asks in a lost voice.

“What do you mean? To go back…” Ash blinks few times confused.

“I see…” he calmly answers and sighs, then makes a pause. “Why?”

At first, Ash thinks that Eiji got sleepy and forgot because of the stress, but when he starts repeating the same questions over and over again, something inside just cracks too hard.

“Sing!” Ash shouts. He wants to get up and search for him, but Eiji is holding on his shirt too tight. 

“Don’t… go…” his shivering puffy lips and feverish sparkles in eyes, stops Ash from moving further.

“Sing!” Ash raises his voice even more through the pain, then leans to Eiji. “I’m not leaving you.”

“What?!” he opens the door. “I just got everything ready, they will meet us at the port. Hide your tattoo.” He glanced at Ash’s hand.

“He repeats the same questions again and again. How much longer until the port? I think he’s in terrible pain.” 

Eiji is leaning to this shoulder and doesn’t seem to be listening.

“Boss doesn’t… feel pain…” Sing shakes head, but obviously after seeing the view doubts his own words. “Okay… shit. We're close. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing. I’ll talk with the fisherman.”

It seems that Sing is so used to the emotionless boss, that everything about this situation triggers him. Ash feels similar, but if he pushes Eiji away, he’ll be alone. And _ how _ Ash can push him away when Eiji is so fragile and unsteady. When finally he wants to hold on for the first time.

Eiji doesn’t seem to be against the closer contact, so Ash hugs him with both hands until the black-haired man leans on his chest. Eiji doesn’t cry, he just stares at one spot, and that is freaking Ash out even more. Just not long ago he would have done a lot to see Okumura suffering like that. But in this dimension and incredible dream, where Ash is a hero for this man, everything is different. At some point, he doesn’t have any strengths to answer Eiji’s silent questions anymore. He stops asking. _ Silence. The warmest silence Ash ever had. _

“We’re here! Boss, we need to move.” Sing comes inside again after some time but leaves almost all the work for Ash. It seems that he really is afraid to touch Eiji. 

Eiji is not heavy, but he clings on Ash too hard, so it’s a bit hard to walk. Especially to leave the yacht. Just as Sing said, people were waiting for them at the port, but not the ambulance. Ash stops for a moment, because of how suspicious it is, but he doesn’t have any other choice just to follow. As they get in the back of the car, Sing sighs with huge relief.

“We were so damn lucky that the fisherman was nearby and that he saw me shouting. It makes me think that the luck is still on our side, right?” he smiles, but Ash turns the head away. 

There are at least a few reasons why he wants to punch Sing in the face, but they somehow made it to the mainland because of him. Whatever happens, Ash must believe that there is a way out. In the worst case, he might call the FBI. But for now, even the thought about it made him uncomfortable. 

It takes time, but they reach a building, which appears to be a private hospital. Ash waits for a bit, but finally gets out when he sees a man with a white gown coming towards the car.

“Can we stay here?” Eiji murmurs as his fingers are shaking even worse than before, from so many unknown people around.

The doctor talks with a Sing then turns at their side.

“Hello.” He smiles for both.

“Hello…” Eiji is the only one who answers, Ash stares at the man with suspicion. 

“What’s your name?” he asks again, this time only Eiji.

Before answering, he lifts eyes at Ash, like waiting for approval, then looks back at the man in front.

“Eiji…”

“I see… how about we go inside to talk?” the doctor suggests, but Eiji moves only when Ash does. He refuses to sit in a wheelchair. “We'll need to talk in my office, okay?”

“No…” he shakes the head. “Unless… he comes with us.”

“Who?” The doctor softly asks.

Eiji looks at Ash, but he doesn’t know how to name him. It didn’t seem to matter.

“Hey! What’s that?!” Ash suddenly moves forward, covering Eiji. He was just in time to see that the nurse is holding a syringe in her hand. _ Why the hell they are sneaking from behind? _

Ash is so tired, and barely holding on his feet that everything around becomes suspicious. Only when he feels Sing’s hand on the shoulder, Ash knows that he lost the game. 

“It’s okay, it will help you to feel a bit better… it won’t hurt anymore. Okay?” The doctor speaks with a confident but gentle voice for Eiji and it was enough for him to believe. He must be tired and also from suffering hours in pain.

“I’ll be right next to you.” Ash nods when the nurse takes Eiji’s healthy arm. 

The black-haired man, who is nothing more than a lost small boy right now, glances at Ash like he’s betraying Eiji now. He bites the bottom lip and just barley flinches but doesn’t turn his head away.

“Will you…” Eiji doesn’t finish the sentence when the head bumps into Ash’s chest, and the body starts sliding down. The doctor is just in time to catch him before he drags Ash down as well.

Eiji is gone and Ash feels like some part of his body was ripped out. Suddenly emptiness overtakes him. He’s so exhausted, that it’s crushing. Whatever happens after that, suddenly Ash realizes that he’s lying on something and everything turns off. 

* * *

The next time Ash opens his eyes, the view is spinning, but the pain is gone. At least a big part of it. Only emptiness is the same. Crushing. 

“How are you feeling?” Sing asks next to Ash, as he slowly tries to get up. “Hey, take it easy, the doctor said you have few ribs broken. They gave you something from the pain. Other than that, it seems that you—”

Ash stares at the spot for a moment, then turns at Sing and grabs on his shirt. The man gasps, and grips on Ash’s hands, but he's holding on to hard. Ash falls on the floor when Sing loses the balance and slides off the chair. The pain makes him sick, but Ash doesn’t let go.

“What---” Sing gasps, trying to release himself, but he’s also out of strength.

“You, fucking traitor… you’ll tell me everything now and here before I end it.” Ash shakes him again, pushing Sing down with the knee as he slams the body against the floor again.

“What are—”

“I saw you and Lee in the garden… I don’t know what you are up to, but whatever you have in your freaking mind, I won’t let it happen. So, you better start talking.” 

Sing tries to resist, and push Ash away, but once he speaks, Sing suddenly freezes. He doesn't even resist or tries to stop. Sing’s expression drastically changes within few moments – from angry to surprised, and later to complete emptiness. 

“What you were doing there?” Sing quietly asks.

“Does it matter now? I thought you said you’ll never betray him. Look at you now… Sing. What a perfect liar. Is that the reason why you didn’t want to call Ibe? Is it because you still have unfinished business here…?” Ash laughs and pressing Sing against the floor even harder. “Where is he?”

“I didn’t betray him, and I won’t.” For the first time in months, Sing looks so frustrated while looking at Ash. “Boss is the only person I’ll stay with until the end.”

Ash doesn’t want to believe so easily. Even though Sing rejected Lee’s proposal, but he can’t change what happened there. 

“Listen, Ash, I already called Ibe. He knows where we are, and he'ill come soon. Now we’re trying to make this situation as secret as possible. There are a lot of things we need to figure out… and…”

“And one of them is you. Stop avoiding the topic.”

“Get off me…” Sing again tries to push Ash away but sighs after failing. 

“No… you do realize how this looks right now? Even the most naïve person would understand that the crash was organized by Lee. And you’re a part of it---”

“I KNOW!” suddenly Sing shouts losing all of his coolness. “You think, I don’t feel guilty for what happened to boss? It’s all my fault! I should have stopped Lee… I should have been smarter. I failed as his bodyguard, and I’ll understand if he tells me to leave the clan. Fuck… it’s my fault…” Sing covers his face with arm and this time Ash lets him go. 

It wasn’t something Ash expected to hear. Sing doesn’t try to fight or protect himself. He even looks a bit pathetic. Ash moves off him and sits on the floor. He moved too suddenly, and every part of the body seems on fire.

“Me and… Yue-Lung… we’re childhood friends. Before I moved to Japan, we used to spend a lot of time together. My brother from the mother’s side ended up working for their family, and around that time I was already under Boss care. Yue-Lung became the head of the clan just a few years ago…” Sing slowly gets up leaning on the bed and holds on his shoulder. Only now Ash notices bandage under the shirt. “And Boss… he knows about my past, but he trusted me. I failed him.” 

Sing continues talking, and even if Ash hears something inside Sing’s voice. Something that it’s horrifying familiar – pain to admit how bad it hurts to think about someone you should forget.

“It’s been such shit… to have… to feel something… I shouldn’t be feeling.” Sing deeply sighs. _ Could he be faking something like that? _ “When Yue-Lung said he wanted to talk with me, I didn’t think much before answering… I thought I’ve control in my hands. I didn’t realize how deeply he’s corrupted now. He used that time to start the attack. I was completely blinded. But… Ash…” Sing finally turns his eyes at the blond man and lifts his chin a bit. “I would never abandon boss. I’ll never betray him for someone else. Just like you. Am I right?”

Ash is in between two – the truth and his feelings. Abandon Eiji. Now… this very moment, it seems completely off Ash’s powers. Ash also doesn’t want to answer. 

“Well, I’m not sure I recommend this kind of therapy.” 

Ash’s savior to answer the question happens to be the same doctor, that met them next to the car.

“Doctor Meredith.” 

Sing gets up and then suggests the hand for Ash. He waits for a moment, not sure if this is right, but finally reaches and Sing helps him to stand. Ash is still not completely sure about Sing, but if Ibe is really coming, he might be saying the truth. After all, Sing could have killed boss and Ash on the island but he didn't.

“Ash, this is Doctor Meredith. He is the doctor for clan's fourth-ranking members in Japan.”

“You mean…”

“Yes, I look after the ones who work under the command of the people, you’re ordering around. In other words, the lowest-ranking members of the Japan branch.”

Ash doesn’t want to know how the doctor knows this kind of information about him.

“But that means…”

“That means, no one would ever think that the head of the clan might be in a place like this. If the enemy is waiting somewhere, they’re at the usual place. No one ever thinks about us as useful clan members.” The doctor calmly explains, with his million-dollar American smile.

The FBI stopped wondering long ago why Okumura clan has so many foreigner members. The fact that it’s so international and accepts different nationality, only made them harder to stop. 

“Where is he? Boss.” Ash goes back to the same question. He had enough of this conversation.

“He’s alright… more or less.” When Ash moves forward, the doctor stops him with the hand. “But first I need to talk with you.”

“About what? Sing already told me that I have some ribs broken, so? Now---”

“Not about you. About boss.” The doctor makes a pause as if Ash could read his mind, but since the blond man still stands confused, he speaks again. “That’s not optional.”

Ash is sure that Sing is avoiding eye contact, he leaves without saying anything else. Ash follows him completely lost. How the tables have suddenly turned.

“What’s about him? Is he’s seriously hurt?” Even if that’s the case, Ash couldn’t understand why he must be the one who learns about it, and why Sing left.

“Other than his broken wrist, infected injury on the side and… post-traumatic amnesia… there’s only one thing, that I would like to discuss.”

_ Sarcasm? _

_ Is it just Ash or the doctor seems a little bit uncomfortable with the upcoming topic? _

“What?” Ash is barely holding back from shaking this man to make him start talking faster.

“Your sexual relationship with him.”

From all the possible topics, this was last Ash expected to hear. He freezes in guilt – like a teenager caught by father. _ How this doctor even knows about that? _

The obvious answer pops suddenly leaving Ash completely naked in front of the man. _ It’s Sing. _ Sing told him. He’s not _ that _ dumb. Sing knew what’s going between Ash and Eiji, he was the one who warned Ash in the first place.

“What’s about it…?” Ash slowly asks after fake coughing. “I think you already know the answer…”

“So, you did rape him?”

“What?!” If anything could slap him more than the statement before it was this. Ash steps back and almost falls on the bed. 

_ Raped? Ash? Raped? Boss? _

“Since we didn’t have any analysis… I did the full body check-up. He doesn’t carry any illness, surprisingly. I spotted… some recent injures, but also older ones… scars. And the…”

“Wait!” Ash stops the doctor because he doesn’t want to hear the end. He knows what kind of injuries he's talking about. Of course, Ash is aware. “I never forced him to have sex with me. He wanted that… for pain. It wasn’t even basted on any feelings… he… doesn’t feel sexually attracted to me.” Ash hears how lame this sound. He still hurt that body, he followed by Okumura’s game.

“You mean he is not erect—”

And again, Ash doesn’t want to hear the end.

“Yes!! For fuck's sake… yes. That’s exactly what I mean. He’s a masochist because he can’t…” 

“Feel. I know. For how long you two are in this kind of…. relationship?”

Bizarre to hear their odd connection to be called like that. It seems that the doctor couldn’t find a more fitting word either.

“Five months… maybe? I…” For the first time in Ash's life, it feels so complicated to find words in his native language.

“Some of the wounds are old… I’m talking about years here. Do you know anything about it?” on the other hand, the doctor is pushing Ash to the corner without any mercy.

“No…” Ash struggles to answer. “I’m telling you, we never… like… we never… were you know… normal… couple.”

“But you did it without any preparation? You do know that for anal—”

“Who do you think I am?! Of course, I’m aware. I don't have a choice when he ties my hands behind the back, okay?” Ash doesn’t want this kind of feeling. He doesn’t want to feel guilty.

“But you just said it wasn’t rape. So, you had an agreement. And you knew that you’re hurting him. Playing a sadistic role.” The doctor seems to be hiding an endless amount of slaps in his pocket.

Ash covers his face. This is not how it should’ve ended. Ash knew what they were doing is wrong. But… he always tried to ignore this fact, accept it as something that Okumura really needs to fill his void. Ash never saw himself as some sadist. He never enjoyed seeing Eiji in pain. It wasn’t about that… it’s different… it’s… just different.

_ Different how? _

“Anyway, I’m not here to judge you.” The doctor finally sighs. _ Oh, really? _“If you want to continue having a sexual relationship with him, I just want to warn you about possible future consequences. Injures, the blood… using force in other words – it’s bad. For his health. For both of your mental state. I didn’t have much interaction with boss before, but if to believe about his previous condition… that he was seeking pain through sex, I might guess that his first time was rape… To be honest, I don’t know what to think. Especially now, when everything has changed.”

Ash tries not to listen. Not because that he’s stubborn, but because Ash knew that it's true. That relationship from the beginning was toxic. It corrupted not only Ash’s mind, the body as well and he didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t care that they’re both falling deeper in this sin as long as they are not separated. Ash didn’t want to admit for so long, but he always secretly thought about Eiji’s previous partners. About his first time…. But Ash always managed to cover it with something else, something more thrilled… something that Okumura gave him that moment.

“What do you mean… changed?” finally, words get into shape.

“Well… he feels. Pain because of the injures, the wound on his side, broken arm, deep bruises… we gave him some painkillers… he also seems scared, lost… he asked for you, by the way. So, I don’t know what kind of relationship you two had, but in my opinion, it meant for him more, than he was showing.”

Ash guess before was right – Eiji got his senses back, even if it wasn’t the best time for that.

“You mean… he was hiding? Pretending?” 

“I don’t know that much.” Doctor shrugs. “But what I know, that post-traumatic amnesia can not randomly make you feel something new for someone you didn’t have any feelings for. It might cause personality changes, which seems to be the case, and temporary memory loss, but on the other that... I think he’s just completely confused about what's real and what’s not. Boss needs to rest, and everything should come back to normal. The injure was bad, but not severe… so I would give him a couple of days to put everything back to its places.” When the doctor doesn’t get any feedback from Ash, he sighs. “Oh, and… If I were you, I wouldn’t take boss's words too seriously right now. Most likely he’ll forget everything… that’s usually what happens after patients recovers. It’s like a brain tries to protect itself… you know…” doctor Meredith tries to speak clearly because Ash is only staring without saying a word.

The reason is different. So much more complicated. Eiji called out feelings that no one else could. His different side. It’s still him, just confused, a bit silly, clingy and lost… I_ s this how Eiji would look like if he never became yakuza _ ? _ This sweet, a bit too honest and open persona? _

“Okay, so…. he’s ward is the last one in the hallway.” 

The doctor finally leaves, but Ash stays for a moment longer. To think it over. Again. And again. About the moment, when Eiji almost desperately shut Ash up and said that he doesn’t feel anything. _ He wanted to _. He was seeking for it. Ash didn’t want to have too many hopes, but he thought that what if… what if Eiji really did have something for Ash. Maybe he couldn’t describe it as feelings because Eiji didn’t know what it means to feel. But still, he tried to hold on Ash, until suddenly Ash couldn’t give him pain - the only real thing he had.

What if Eiji always had sex based only on hate, and that’s why he felt nothing more than pain… _ Was it physical pain? Or was it mental? _ Maybe Ash can’t cause him either. _ What if Eiji doesn’t hate Ash anymore? _

The blond man leaves the ward, walks through the hallway, passes through a few nurses and Sing, who is talking with someone on the phone and reaches the door. Ash hesitates to enter, but there is nothing he could lose. 

He slides the door to the side and then walks in. Eiji is sitting half lying on the bed, staring at the window. He turns the head - everything lights up in colors.

“Ash!” Eiji smiles brightly and makes him stop before continue walking. 

Eiji has small the cutest dimples on the cheeks that Ash never noticed before. _ It’s the first time Eiji ever smiled for him. The first time, he called Ash by name. He knows his name. _

“Hey… sorry, I was… I had an appointment with the doctor.”

“It’s okay! Why you’re sorry? Come here.” He pats on the chair next to the bed.

The ward is bright, probably bigger than Ash’s bedroom. They could perfectly fit in the same bed with no problems. Ash comes closer and once again looks at Eiji, his hand is in a plaster cast. The tattoo is coming up from it and hides under very silly hospital clothing – Ash can’t lie – it doesn’t look intimidating at all. Eiji seems like a rebellious boy, who did a tattoo against his parents' will and then got into an accident with a skateboard. His hair is still messy.

“Did you have any rest?” Ash stands next to the bed trying to look as serious as possible.

“Yes… I… did.” Eiji blinks and then shakes his head. “I was wondering… if you’re okay.”

“Of course, I am. Do you see? I’m fine… I’m fine.” Ash wants it to be the truth, but after the talk with the doctor, it’s been just a huge mess inside his head. 

“You’re lying…” 

Ash doesn’t have any idea how he notices.

“You too…”

Eiji chuckles, but soon his expression changes, he turns his head away and becomes a bit distant. Ash for a moment gets scared that he might have actually said something wrong.

“I don’t know why… I can’t stop shivering… I just feel like something is wrong. I feel scared. To be here. To talk with people… touch them. I don’t want them to touch me. I don’t want anyone to get near me. But…” Eiji covers face and Ash clearly sees his trembling shoulders. “There is just too much of everything inside, I don’t even know how to explain. I feel… bad. I feel… bad. Lonely. It’s too much…” he repeats, again and again, completely breaking into pieces in front of Ash.

Ash doesn’t ask for his approval, maybe because he knows that no matter what Eiji will say, Ash would do the same. Ash sits on the bed and they hug each other almost at the same time. Eiji painfully grips Ash’s sides, but man doesn’t mind. Ash almost lifts that fragile body, he rubs Eiji’s hair, wraps arms around shoulders more tightly. Until he calms down. Until there is nothing more than their fast heartbeat.

“Why… but then why it’s different with you… it feels like it doesn’t matter anymore.” He speaks quietly, next to Ash's ear and shivers run down the spine. Something sharp squeezes Ash’s heart.

“I have been asking myself the same.” There is no other way, just to admit. No illusions, no fakes status. Only confusion.

Ash wants to say so much, apologize, for something he shouldn’t be guilty about, but is. Is it the doctor, or sudden realization about his feelings for Eiji or maybe everything together, Ash is also lost. He didn’t know how deeply this person is hurt. _ For how many years he’s suffering and what or who turned him this way? _ Ash always thought that he’s nothing more than a spoiled rich bastard, who developed some strange fetish. But maybe not. Maybe there is another story behind every scar of his.

For the millionth time during the past two years, the same question crosses Ash’s mind.

_ Who’s Okumura Eiji for real? _

Even in these circumstances, Eiji is strong as ever. He may be completely open and act childish, but he still doesn’t shed a single tear. Eiji keeps holding on Ash, breathing slowly. And they don’t talk. Ash doesn’t mind, because it’s never been so heartfelt before. Just to hold him, in the most innocent sense of this word.

They stay like this for hours. Slightly changing positions, until Ash is finally on the chair only holding his hand. Even if Eiji refuses to sleep, but after some time, he slowly starts blinking, while looking at Ash. It’s just a matter of time when he’s going to pass out. 

Ibe didn’t come and that may be for the best. Eiji already seems stressed enough after nurse visits. He refuses to eat unless Ash eats together. Sing visits the ward only to tell that Ash stinks and he needs a shower and to change his clothes. To be honest, Ash wouldn’t mind that, but Eiji holds his hand too thigh staring at Sing so intense, that man finally gives up. Ash can’t explain why suddenly it’s so funny for him. Without realizing, Ash kisses Eiji’s fingers, making him lightly blush. Just in a few hours, this becomes a kind of silly habit for Ash - to make Eiji's cheeks turn reddish. 

“It’s already dark, you should rest.” Ash rubs Eiji’s cheek, trying to memorize those gentle features on his face. He now looks more like a woman from Okumura's family portrait than the man. _ Soft. Sad. _

_ Eiji, what happened to you? _

“But you’ll stay?” Ash sees that Eiji is finally giving up. 

He rests head on the pillow more comfortably, adorably messy hair following on his forehead – and in the shadows of the warm light, his eyes are almost night blue. From Eiji’s perspective, Ash is only looking for a chance to run away – he wondered why. _ Did someone leave him in the past before? _ Ash has never heard such a desperate request before. 

It’s far away from order – but how Ash can say _ no _?

“Of course… Eiji.” Ash gently smiles. “I’ll be here.”

_ Unless you won’t need me anymore. _

Ash’s terrified of that moment to come.

* * *

Ash enters the ward after one of the best showers he had after leaving the Pit, carrying a cup of hot coffee. The sun is already up. He accidentally fell asleep in the hallway, while waiting for Sing. Otherwise, he had come back sooner. 

Ash is immediately caught by the power of Eiji eyes. He seems relieved and calmer than yesterday, but Ash is torn by sudden guilt for leaving him alone.

“I thought… you left.” Eiji turns his head down with flushing cheeks, and a hint of concern in his pure and soft voice.

“I was getting a coffee.” Ash comes back to his place on the chair and places the cup on the desk. “When I left you were still sleeping…” he tries to explain himself adding a bit of innocent lie.

Neither of them lifts eyes first to admit the ticklish feeling inside the stomach to see each other. _ Ash is happy that Eiji is still the same. _

Ash looks at Eiji’s hand on the covers and wonders for a moment if he has a right to touch those fingers again. Just not long he was holding it, but today everything might different. Ash leans a bit forward and almost sees how the man softly shivers. Eiji’s hand slowly move first – he’s still obviously too embarrassed to look up, but their skin brush in one another, and Ash wraps Eiji’s fingers. 

Eiji's lips curves into a tender smile and all odd hesitation inside Ash melts like ice during a hot summer day. Ash leans a little bit more but suddenly stops when the pain crushes his chest. _ Damn it. _ Even by being incredibly cute, Eiji is capable of taking all thoughts away.

“Does it hurt?” Eiji suspiciously quickly notices whenever Ash’s expression changes and points it out.

“It’s not your fault.” Ash defends him before Eiji starts feeling guilty again. The blond man rubs Eiji’s hand with the thumb. It's so soft. “You don’t have to be worried about me. You wouldn’t… if you could remember everything.” 

Ash had some time, maybe even too much, to think about this in the shower.

“I sound like an awful person, then…” Eiji finally moves his head to Ash’s side. “How could I not care about you…? When the only thing you care about is me?”

_ Is he so obvious _?? 

Ash silently huffs, trying to move back, but again the stunning color of the soft night inside Eiji’s eyes, which is so inviting, hypnotizes him. _He does care, what’s the point of hiding?_ Ash is still trying to find the balance, but he doesn’t know how. There is so much Ash wants to do, so much he has to say before it’s too late, before Eiji is broken again… Ash just wants him to know it feels to remember.

“Have you ever…?” Eiji makes pause gripping Ash’s fingers a bit harder for a moment and then bites his lower lip. _ What? _ “Kissed… someone before?”

“Ooooh.” Ash is sure his cheeks are on fire, as he is caught not ready to hear this. Especially not from those lips. “No.” he lies too quickly expecting God knows what.

“I see…” 

_ Why Eiji seem a bit disappointed? _

“Why?”

“Nothing.” Eiji quietly laughs, and his fingers slide back, Ash wants to catch them, but something says he should.

“Why?”

Ash follows how Eiji hugs his cheek with the palm and turns the head away. _ Is it a sign to leave, to move back, to run away? _ Ash can’t explain the panic rising inside the heart. He tried so badly not to ruin everything, but somehow still managed to. Eiji’s lips move a bit as if he wants to say something, but he covers them too quickly.

“Eiji…? I’m sorry…”

“Why you are apologizing??” he cuts almost sharply, and something stings.

Ash is about to start screaming at someone. Every nerve seems tense. _ Why? Why? Why? _

“Eij—”

“I just thought that we’re together. Okay? That’s it. I was feeling bad because I couldn’t clearly remember you and I thought you might feel bad because I act strangely, and I must hurt you. I thought you want to kiss—” Eiji shuts up before ending, with a deep sigh fully covering his face.

Ash’s shoulders fall. He breaths in, holding back from shivering, from the realization that this lovey-dovey act was mostly based on the guilt rather than something real. Like always. _ Was there anything real between them? _

And yet.

“I want…” he quietly admits. “I want to… Eiji. I always wanted.”

Ash leans forward first and gently moves Eiji's hand from the face. Eiji doesn’t resist, even though his face is still turned away. The soft pink color partly covering the top of his cheeks, and the way he tries to hide his embarrassed eyes – Ash is down for it. _ He’s all about it. _

_ Has he kissed anyone before? _

“Eiji…” Ash calls him quietly and the man looks up.

Their fingers intertwine and the earth stops. It was shaking so badly until this second, but now there’s nothing more than peace. Ash lowers his head a bit more and crosses Eiji’s personal space, their forehead touch, as the breath becomes one. Even though nothing yet happened, but Ash feels dizzy. He dreamed about those lips – about tasting them about the scent… for so long.

“So, will you do it or not?” Eiji murmurs impatiently. He licks the bottom lip.

He doesn’t realize, how badly Ash wants to remember this moment. The man slightly nods, reaching slowly, brushing over them gently.

“Really…” Eiji giggles and suddenly moves forward first.

It’s dark as nothing else exists. And incredibly warm. The moment their lips touch it’s only this being. This second for Ash. That was the final step and all he needed to break – Ash soul is sold. Eiji tastes like cold peppermint, hot chocolate and smells like flowers and antique books guarded in the depths of the library. Ash doesn’t know where this taste is coming from – but all of them are his favorite. His heart aches giving up to this man, as they embraced each other deeper. His – their kiss of life and death, which was first and last like this – Ash fell. He fell so badly and so deeply, drowned and there was no way back. Ash thought it might still change his mind. But that's a lie. He lost this fight long ago. It took ages to realize.

Their bodies crave for each other, wanted more and more, as Ash leaned forward, halfway on the bed. _ Is Eiji good at kissing? _ He’s a monster. It’s his tongue kissed Ash’s soul out, not the other way around. He knows where to lean, how to breath how to make this work. Ash feels weak against him – like nothing changed. He's kissing this tender man but feels like doing it with the whole darkness of his. And honestly, Ash wants to stay in this hell forever if he’s the King.

For Eiji, it’s a prove. For Ash a reason to move forward. Reason to stay by his side forever. Switch sides. Do everything he’ll ever ask.

Eiji brushes his tongue against Ash's slowly and they both quietly sigh. 

“_ Pourquoi _?! I mean… Why!?” 

Through the walls that Ash lifted to block the rest of the world the loud voice breaks through. First, it’s not so important but later gets louder. 

“Ibe couldn’t come because he’s cleaning the mess you made, Sing! So, shut up and move from the door before I splashed your brain out.”

One second and both Ash and Eiji are sitting like nothing was going on. Ash is waiting for a bomb – a tall skinny powerful woman with big charisma and hard to break attitude – a perfect match for someone like Boss Okumura. And Ash gets everything. More or less.

When the door opens and she comes in, Ash lets his eyes down to look at this small angry being. He a bit hyperbolizes. She’s not that small, but definitely short. More or less like all Japanese average women. The problem - she is not Japanese. Ash doesn’t want to admit, but he already knows who she is.

_ Someone very important to Eiji. _

But the size doesn’t change the fact of how intimidating she is. And doesn’t fit with her cute appearance at all. Ash is still in such shock about his misunderstanding, that he only stares, while she quickly scans him like looking at some annoying exotic bug and quickly runs through. Ash doesn’t know where she is hiding that strength, but he almost gets knocked off the chair.

“Boss…” Her voice changes completely. The girl is facing Ash with her back, but he hears how badly she is worried.

Ash and Sing warned Eiji before to act as neutral as possible. The best to stay quiet and don't answer. But he’s already staring at her with those big curious eyes. Eiji is still flushed after the kiss.

“Hello!” 

Ash almost hears how loudly Sing sighs.

“Hello?” she deadly glares at Ash as if it’s his fault. “Boss, you know who I am, right?”

Eiji looks around like a baby whose family is waiting for his first words to come out. He’s begging for help, but Ash doesn’t know how.

“Marion.” Finally, Eiji murmurs.

_ She’s shocked as same as them by the fact that he remembers her name. _

“Oh…” she blinks. “Yes. Good. We can work with that for now. But more importantly, I brought your clean clothes, these…” she dramatically waves at his hospital clothing. “…are unacceptable. The nurse will come to help you.”

“You, white ass, are coming with me. Sing too.” She commands in a few minutes taking control in her hands, and no one can say a word. 

She’s walking devil with an angel face. If she’s Eiji fiancée… it's going to be hard.

Ash is sure that he’s a _ white ass. _

She leaves first and Ash follows after promising to come back soon for Eiji.

“What the fuck, dude?” Ash asks Sing only with his lips.

“Don’t even start with her. Just… let her...” Sing answers back shaking his head.

_ Do what? _

“I can perfectly hear you two!” 

They reach the balcony and she enters first. Ash breathes the fresh air and it’s a bit refreshing. Exhaustion and lack of sleep are hitting him. 

“So…” she takes out a cigarette and lights up, then suggests one for Ash. When he refuses, and she only shrugs. Sing has already lighted his. “You’ll tell me everything now.”

“I’m sure Ibe already did. What else do you want to know?” Sing leans back against the fence.

“I want to know, how you managed to fail so badly. Is there only that Chinese dick in your head, Sing? You had one job. Bring him safe and—”

“And you think I was expecting this, or what?! Well sorry, miss perfect, I didn’t!” Sing shouts at her and Ash start to have doubts. Something doesn’t add up here. “You think I don’t feel guilty enough without you? And what’s the point to focus on the past now, we must make this work… Boss will be okay, we just need some time.”

She laughs rolling her eyes.

“Ibe is doing what he can to mislead Lee…. But that fuck Arthur, he’s nothing more than pain in the ass. Guess how far he went only in one day? I’m just so…. ” she holds a cigarette between fingers and demonstrates how she’s strangling someone. "_ Putain _."

_ She also doesn't like Arthur? _

“He stopped all sells and orders in Japan, and he’s reaching for Blanca to do the same.” Marion pinches the bridge of her nose, like having a huge headache.

“What the hell? Why Ibe allowed him to do that?” this time Ash speaks. Arthur should mind his own business, whatever he’s doing.

Marion glares at him, but since Ash is standing and her head is barely reaching his shoulder it’s not so scary at all.

“Because he’s second in command after Boss. Ibe doesn’t have the power to hold him back.” Sing explains because Marion is still staring hole at Ash.

Ash would just say to knock him down and lock somewhere in the cell, but apparently, it doesn’t work like that in their system. There is no place for rebellion. Only orders. If the main Boss is down, second in command takes the lead.

“So, Arthur doesn’t know that Boss is alright?”

“He doesn’t… and we’re not planning to tell him. I’m not even sure why did Ibe tell you, Marion. I told him to keep this for himself only.” 

She only grins to his complaints.

“Like I gave him any other choice.” She makes a pause. “This probably my worst comeback ever.”

“Sorry, but nothing compares to the one when Tomura clan kidnaped you straight from the airport.” Sing shrugs, and they both nod like talking about their favorite movie scene.

“_ Putain _!” she laughs out loud cheerfully. “I forgot about this one! Boss killed a bunch of them only with pocket knife… that was awesome.” 

“It was.” Sing smiles remembering. 

“So… for how long you’re together?” Ash must know the truth because he apparently doesn’t understand something.

“Who?” Sing frowns.

“Her and Boss, of course.”

Three seconds deadly silence follows by the huge blow of laugh. Marion even drops her cigarette, when she grabs on the fence and almost leans over it to hide the laughter. Sing restrains himself a bit but still covers his mouth hiding the smile.

“Listen, Ash Lynx.” She leans forward and even Ash feels a bit smaller. _ She knows who he is _. “I don’t know what you’re imagining here but your white ass will have to get my approval first. And from what I see now, I don’t like you. Especially, your jeans.” 

Ash’s jaw drops. _ What’s wrong with his jeans? They might be a bit dirty, but he didn’t have time to do something about that. _

“Now it’s my time to be with boss. Stay away. Both.” She points at Sing and he raises hands giving up.

When she leaves, Ash turns his head at Sing waiting for any explanation. He probably feels guilty, so Ash sees in Sing's face, that he will. Ash is not sure he needs to know everything, but he’s tired of feeling blind.

“Don’t joke with Marion Okumura. She's like a sister to Boss.” Sing warns carefully before they leave the balcony and Ash changes his mind. 

_ He needs to know. _

Further Ash learns, the more foolish he feels. Marion knows boss from their teen years, she was a part of his street gang, and when Eiji became the clan leader they parted ways as she came back to France for studying. But after few years Boss asked her to join Okumura clan. Since then she’s been moving in between her study and work in France, also the clan life. Sing assures Ash that Eiji and Marion have a very strong bond as they know each other for so many years. She’s a part of the clan, apparently working as an international communicator for the European clients and private Boss’s designer (explains her strong opinion about Ash’s jeans). She also has her brand in France and is known as one of the best fighters in the clan as in the expert of explosive guns. Even Blanca is afraid of her. At some point, Ash starts to believe that there is nothing impossible for her. She owns the respects and knows how to use power.

“She sounds like…” Ash doesn’t know how to finish.

“Like boss?” Sing helps him.

“But why she… has his last name?”

“We all have, Ash Okumura.” Sing makes a pause, then chuckles. “Okay, that sounds oddly strange on you. As far as I know, Boss officially gave her the last name even before he became the head. Don’t ask for details. I don’t know… just, remember…”

“Yeah... yeah... Don’t mess with Marion, I already know. Whatever.” Ash was still confused. “But how come, I have never heard about her if she is so important to him?”

“That’s why you haven’t heard. Because this is the only important thing Boss has. He’s very protective. You see, Ash? You created some sort of illusion… but I told you to stay back. I’m sorry, but he won’t let you close. This… what’s happening now, it’s wrong.” 

They’re sitting on the bench next to the vending machine and Sing doesn’t stop talking about Ash’s mistakes. But it’s too late to turn back.

“Listen, you don’t have any rights to talk about my mistakes, especially after what happened…”

It’s enough to wipe Sing’s expression away.

“I need to get coffee.” Sing deeply sighs and runs away, even though the coffee machine is just a few steps from them.

Ash sits more comfortably and rests his head against the wall. It’s spinning a bit and every piece for information he heard today seems too much. _ Did he kiss Eiji for real? Or was it also an illusion? _

“Hey you, white ass!”

“It’s Ash.” 

He sits with eyes closed, but this voice can belong only to one person.

“Well, A.s.h.” She puts unnecessary accents. “I don’t know why, but boss wants to see you.”

_ Of course, he wants. _ Ash was expecting this moment. _ His little triumph. _ Honestly, he can’t even explain, why he wants to win against her. Especially after learning her connection with boss. _ It’s not like she will take him away. _

The woman stops next to him. From what Ash heard, she must be around the same age as boss, which means older than Ash and it sounds just unbelievable.

“What did I do that you hate me so much?” Ash wants to know because he can feel the strong vibe coming from her. Marion is not scaring him but still doesn’t make any sense.

“Better tell me what you did, so I could like you. Who are you, Ash Lynx? I’ll find out every detail, and where you came from… and who you’re. You see… I have met people like you.”

“And who are they?” Ash grins at her.

“Exactly. They are gone.”

_ Is she talking about Eiji’s previous partners? Does she know how badly is he hurt? _ Ash looks up to the girl. Her hair is dark until shoulders, she doesn’t turn brown eyes away as any normal person would do after too much staring. She’s is pretty, actually very beautiful and has delicate facial features. Marion has a style and a good comfortable life. From what Ash understood, she is like a queen for Eiji.

“I’m not scared of you.” Ash stands up and she doesn’t have another choice just lift her chin trying to follow him. “I only care about Boss.”

Marion stares at him with a cold expression. Ash passes through towards the ward.

“You’re just another brick in the wall, Ash Lynx.” 

Her voice reaches Ash and he slightly turns head.

“Is that Pink Floyd?”

Ash sees how Marion doesn’t want to accept, but when she finally smiles, she turns into a completely different person. _ That’s a huge range _ . Ash once looks at the tartan shirt and black skirt, he only now spots that her white sneakers have a platform. _ Is she even shorter? _

“I see you’re a man of culture as well.” She smirks and walks in the same direction as Sing did. Ash guess that it’s balcony again.

Ash can’t explain why but one second the strangest thought pops to his head – Shorter would know how to deal with someone like her. Maybe only because Ash is still not sure what happened to his best friend.

  
  
  


Ash wants to say that he enjoys every moment of his being with Eiji more and more, but he’s afraid to be happy because everything seems so fragile. They didn’t kiss again after that one time, but they held hands so frequently that even Marion stopped staring. No one could change the fact that Eiji wants Ash to be here.

Ash wants to believe that somewhere inside, Eiji guards these memories, and he won’t forget. He wants to believe that past events changed him from the core, opened new opportunities for both and this time not to seek pain and power. 

Somehow information went through that Boss is alive, and even if no one knew his location yet, Ash has to go back to the main residence to take care of things and help Ibe. The place is not safe, Ash is sure that they won’t bring Eiji back here, as he'll not allow doing so. Ash doesn’t have any clue what Arthur is doing, because he left to States. So Ash persuades Ibe to open business again. Ibe takes Arthur’s position in Japan, while Ash follows every stalker from the Lee clan. They are like rats - intoxicating every corner around. Hong Kong is too near, they must send boss to New York. The date is set in a week and the day before Ash himself makes clear that everything is ready for it.

He missed only one thing.

When Ash enters the hospital, Marion is waiting for him on the first floor.

“You know, we should set limits—” Ash sighs because sometimes she gets overboard with suspicions.

“Shut up.” Marion cuts. “Boss is back.”

“What do you mean?” Ash laughs, but steps get slower. _ He knows the answer. _

“Don’t go, Ash. It’s bad. He’s unstable…” she hardly picks words.

It’s been less than a week since they met, but Ash feels that they already get each other pretty much. Marion never misses a chance to tease him, Ash tries opportunities to give his best shot back. Sing and Eiji usually just stand in the middle of that hurricane without any words. 

“He kicked me out… he told not to let anyone in. Ash! _ Merde _…” she shouts and, as always, follows her words with French swears. 

She knows that Ash will seek what he wants anyway. 

When Ash quietly opens the door and walks inside, Eiji is sitting on the bed looking through the window. Ash knew this moment will come, but he wants to believe that everything is okay. But it’s not. The warmth around him is gone, like a dream it faded away, leaving only his cold presence. Like someone barged in and switched places again. Something did change. A bit. Eiji is holding on sheets too hard, fingers are slightly shivering. Ash wants to hold them. He knows it will help._ He must try. _

“Boss.” Ash changes his mind to call him by the first name just in time.

He doesn’t move, looking more like a beautiful ancient statue than a human. _ Where’s that gentle and sincere person? _

_ Why he had to be thrown into that emptiness again? _

“I told Sing not to let anyone in.”

“I need… we need to talk about what--.”

“Get out.” His freezing voice stings the air, but Ash didn’t come here to give up so quickly.

Some sort of strange shadow runs through Eiji’s face as he grips sheets harder between fingers. Ash is sure that Eiji’s face is not the same as it used to be before. Even if he tries hard to keep his cool. Especially Ash. He can’t see him as cruel and darkness after falling for his softness and warmth. What happened these past few days changed not only Ash but also Eiji. _ He remembers Ash is sure of it. Eiji Okumura feels. _

“---Eiji.”

“GET OUT!!” he yells, making Ash freeze in surprise. Boss never lost his control before. Shouting was not something he used to do. _ Can’t he see? _

After a moment, before Ash releases himself from this shocking truth – Boss will never accept his weakness - the door opens, and Sing drags him out to the hallway.

“Wait, let---”

“Shut up, Ash. Why you never listen to anyone?? Marion told you not to go inside.”

She is standing next to Sing, with the head down. Even Sing’s voice sounds strange. But Ash gets angry. _ Why they don’t seem happy? _ All of them waited for this moment, waited for Eiji to go back to the blinding night. It’s convenient to see him miserable, broken.

“So that’s it? You just… just…”

“What do you want us to do?” Sing shows his empty hands. “His words are absolute.”

_ Brilliant. _

“You’re funny, both of you. You know that?”

“We warned you…” Marion crosses her arms on the chest glaring, but her eyes are not burning with sparkles like always.

“And what do you want for it? Award? Fuck… what else?” Something is saying that is not the end.

“You’re going back to New York today. To work for Alex. He… said that.” Sing's voice sounds apologetic but the meaning hits way too hard. 

Ash forces out the fake smile._ So, is just like Eiji said, back in Lee's residence? _It’s like these past few days didn’t even happen. 

_Why suddenly Ash feels like he was used and now thrown out like trash? Oh, wait._ _He was trash from the beginning._

Marion shouts something like “_ don’t be such pussy! _”, but Ash doesn’t stop for a fight. He’s angry and he feels the right to be angry. When the driver takes him to airport and Ibe calls, obviously after learning what happened, Ash doesn’t pick up. He doesn’t even feel any emotions while walking into the plane and fourteen hours of flight suddenly feels like purgatory. 

_ Does Ash have a right to feel betrayed? Because it feels this way. _ It hurts so much, that Ash overthinks at least a few times the possibility to go back to the FBI right away after landing. _ But it’s jealousy. It’s unfair… Why Eiji had to remember everything while Ash was not there? He was gone just one day… only for one day. _

When Ash looks through the window, to avoid guards staring at him, fingers catch something wet on the check. Maybe also just an illusion. 

_ Fuck you, Eiji. _

_ Fuck you for winning over every drop of dignity that he still had. _

From the airport, Ash asks for the car. He has more respect in the clan, than he had before leaving, so no one goes against it. Ash drives, he drives speeding way too much, crosses red lights and he doesn’t care. These streets – his home – never looked so distant before. The lights, the noises, smells – everything is stranger.

When the car stops in front of the building, Ash is still not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Even when he reaches the door, just one moment before opening them, he's almost sure that he had to end this other way.

_ But. They are his family now. _

“Skipper!” Ash enters the building shouting out loud.

“Ash???” his head appears after less than ten seconds. “What the hell?! Ash!” he runs towards him with a toast in one hand and a big smile.

“Who taught you these words?” Ash rubs his hair with a smile. “Where are others?

“In the Pit. For cleaning.” Skip bites the toast and suggests for Ash, but he shakes the head. The stomach still feels upside down.

Ash completely forgot that the thing as “cleaning” exists. _ What if they had shot him to death that day, and he never reached so far? _

_ Far? He came back again where everything started. Like nothing happened. _

Skipper always eats tons of toasts for breakfast.

“But what are you doing here? I thought you work in Japan!” 

They walk to the kitchen, as Skip talks with his full mouth already reaching for another toast.

“Long story… I hope you still have a spare bed in your room.”

“I’ll have to move my clothes somewhere, but sure! I knew the letter you left for me was bullshit, and you’ll come back!” Skip is full of energy like always. 

_ Why it still hurts? Ash knew. Everyone warned him… and still. _Ash sits down at the table and lays down the head on arms.

“Ash?” Skipper's voice appears close. “Are you not feeling well?”

_ Good question. _

“Just a bit tired. That’s it.”

_ And broken. He’s the first and only one who broke. _

“Welcome back anyways! I’ll make Alex throw a party.”

“I want to go to a bar and drink.” Ash makes a pause. “A lot.”

“Or that.” Skip laughs, taking his place on the chair next to Ash.

_ Like Okumura Eiji never existed. Ash is back to a place where his name is only a myth. Where no one is even sure how he looks like. _

* * *

Taking in and been thrown out, and starting again... Maybe because Ash now has more experience, work is way too easy. It seems that Blanca didn’t accept Arthur’s suggestions, so the business is still going smoothly. Life in New York is different - there is nothing to worry about, only how to get money and clients. That’s it. Everyone has their roles. And they play. They act and live through the day as one. For Ash it's funny – he's not even sure what kind of goal he has. 

Ash's best friend is still missing. The person he likes is an ice-cold yakuza leader with no emotions. And Ash didn't learn anything about Griffin. Everyone who ever thought that he’s an idiot – they were right. Ash is too afraid to call the FBI and hear Max's voice. He’s not ready to hear the truth about Shorter – he is not ready to be completely ripped into pieces. _ Not yet. _

Not the next week. Not the week after that. He always finds excuses to wait for one more.

“Aaaaash! Some girl came to see you!!” 

Ash is in the middle of a conversation with Peter about this week’s shipment when he's called out by Skipper so loudly that a wave noise trembles the room.

“Well well, Ash…. When? After the bar last week?” Alex sips his coffee, and everyone laughs in agreement.

Ash rolls his eyes. _ Why he would give an address of clan hideout to some random girl? _

“I don’t know what he’s talking about.” He mutters not paying attention to their teasing. “Ignore her, Skip!” 

He turns back to Peter, but the sound of heels clattering on the floor is getting louder and louder and the smallest world’s hurricane enters the place. Everyone freezes. She probably is the first girl to enter their territory. 

“Ma-rion?” Ash cracks in the middle, like seeing a ghost. “What are you doing here??”

“You come with me, white ass.” Then she glares at the rest on purpose lifting her hand to fix the hair, so the clan’s tattoo would be visible. 

Pleasant by everyone’s shaken face, Marion grabs on Ash’s sweater and drags him out. He never thought she has enough strengths for that.

“Don’t you have another pair of jeans? I can’t even look…”

“Really?” Ash is not sure what’s going on, but she doesn’t leave him alone and Ash doesn’t want to make a scene here. He’s sure everyone is listening. Ash puts on his shoes and reaches for the jacket, but Marion takes it away.

“Disgusting. Leave it.”

She pushes him out and walks towards the limousine, with the open door. Ibe’s head shows up. _ What he’s doing in New York?? _ Ash walks there without any questions, he gets inside, Marion appears next to him and the car starts moving.

“Do I really want to know?”

“I was against it at first, but he barely goes out from his room or eats.” Marion starts slaying the air. “He doesn’t let anyone close… honestly, he doesn’t even care what we do anymore. The doctor says it might be still the trauma…”

“Fuck the trauma.” Ibe cuts. “And fuck the doctor. Sing told me what happened. And if it’s because of you Ash, then you can stop him now. Before it’s too late again.”

“I don’t think, I understand…” Ash stares in front. _ Why suddenly they think that Ash can change it? _

“Because you have porridge instead of your brain, Ash Lynx.” Marion takes a deep breath. “In other words… you have to go and talk with him.”

“Oh, so now I’m your last hope? A few weeks ago, you just sent me---”

“You go there. And you TALK with boss. Am I clear here?!”

Ash holds breath when he feels cold metal against his head. She must be fooling around. When Ash hears how she pulls down the safety joke time is over.

“Marion…” Ibe sighs, “Let down the gun. If you blow his brains on me, this won’t help Eiji.”

“Is it so bad?” no one answers. “Shit… Eiji… did he broke?”

“Imagine not being able to feel for years… living like an empty shell… and then… I think it’s just…” Ibe can’t find words to finish.

“It’s just something we can’t fix. He won’t let us close… so…” Marion lets the gun down. “He’s weak. He’s very weak. I have never seen him like that before…”

“Okay…” Ash just stops her, because obviously, this topic is too sensitive. “Okay…”

_ Nothing is okay about it. Ash is not sure how he’ll feel after seeing him again. _

Getting inside the main house it’s harder than ever. It seems boss gave an order to shoot anyone who enters the territory unless it’s someone from the top ranking. Ash’s name is not on the list anymore.

“Knock, but don’t wait for the answer. If he sees you, it won’t work.” Ibe teaches him, as they are walking around to the back of the residence. 

“Boss room is on the second floor, the third door on the left,” Marion mentions. She has almost run to make with Ibe’s and Ash’s steps.

“What if he just shoots me, before I even say something?” Ash wants them to give him a gun, or a knife. Just in case he first needs to defend himself before speaking.

“Well, then… thank you for your service.” Marion waves with a smile. “No, seriously, you’re not taking a gun in his room. Period.”

“Here.” They stop next to the small gates, Ibe opens it. “Sing left the back door without guards for a couple of minutes. Run.”

Just like Ibe said, no one is at the door and it’s unlocked. Ash has been here only one time, and he never imagined that he'll be coming back in these circumstances. The situation reminds him of back when he sneaked in just to see boss for the first time. As a result, he has a scar on his shoulder now.

_ What he’s going to get this time? _

Ash almost runs into a guard but manages to reach the second floor before he notices. When Ash stops next to the door, he suddenly is lost. He doesn’t know what to say. Or to do. 

_ It still hurts. _

Ash knocks and enters, then locks the door from the inside. He doesn’t have time to pay attention to the surroundings.

_ There is no way back now. _

“Go away, Ibe.” cold voice comes from the bathroom.

Until this moment Ash didn’t know how he'll feel if he ever meets Eiji again. Ash thought he might be angry – incapable to speak. Again, full of hate for that dark man. _ But. _

_ Ash suddenly feels alive. He breaths in. His King is here – nothing else matters. Ash is blinded. Foolish. Probably falling in love. _

“It’s not Ibe,” He answers only when he's already standing next to the bathroom.

After a moment it opens with force. Eiji’s hair is still moist, he’s wearing only silk bathrobe. The transparent black color almost shamefully exposes all the best parts of his body. Ash caught Eiji by surprise, so he's one second faster. Ash quickly covers Eiji’s mouth before the man says anything and pushes him inside. After that Eiji instantly comes back to his shape - he forcefully shoves Ash away. Eiji’s face is barely hiding a surprise. He didn’t expect that Ash has such skills to get through the guards.

The first thing Ash notices is a broken mirror. Shards all over the sink and on the floor. _ What happened? _

“Who let you in?”

“Ibe.”

He decides not to mention Marion.

Eiji sighs arduously before answering.

“Get out.”

“Or else?” 

Ash knows he’s playing with fire, but what Eiji can do, wearing only a bathrobe and without any guards around. Ash already had a chance to see, who this man is for real. It’s time to drop his fake mask.

“You push it too much, Lynx… Do you want to die? No wonder.”

“I… I just want to talk about what happened.” Ash tries to keep his distance and not to come forward, but it’s getting harder and harder as Eiji is not looking into his eyes. He stares at the spot just above Ash’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

If that’s the truth, if he decided to pretend, then Ash wants Eiji to say the same while looking at his eyes. Ash reaches for the man, but Eiji moves back and tightens his trembling fingers into fists. The right hand is still in the cast.

“Don’t you dare.” It’s hard for Eiji to hide his emotions. Anger or sadness - Ash doesn’t understand. Eiji fails anyway, he doesn’t know how to control it. “You’re useful for my clan, so I’ll give you one more chance. Just turn around and get out.”

“Only if you tell this while looking into my eyes.”

Eiji is tense, his body shudders, lips pressed into a narrow line. Either he’s trying to hold back from yelling or from kicking.

“I feel like you also want to tell me something…” Ash continues when Eiji just keeps silent.

Ash’s eyes slide down the bathrobe, and he’s just in time to see that Eiji suddenly grabs one of the shards on the sink and the next moment they both drop towards each other. Eiji’s move was so fast and Ash didn’t even think about defending, he only wanted to stop Eiji from hurting himself more. Ash grabs Eiji’s wrist, stopping him, and somehow manages to hold back the painful gasp, when the sharp tip trips his sweater on the chest and cuts through the skin. He can feel the heat, pain. But more important, Eiji’s hand covers in dark red drops as he grips the glass too hard. Sharp material cuts through his skin like a paper. _ It hurts to see him like this. _

“Don’t do it, Eiji. You don’t want this.”

“You don’t know what I want.”

Finally, their eyes meet. And the feeling is so different, but at the same time, something huge falls on Ash’s chest, right to the place where the heart is beating like a drum. There is no hate in Eiji’s eyes, only complete chaos. Ash has never seen this kind of range before. It makes him stiff, numb. Powerless.

_ But he didn’t come her give up. _

“Maybe I don’t… but I know what you need.”

“You don’t. You don’t know anything, Lynx.

“Then… help me. Let me in, Eij---”

“I will destroy you.” Eiji sharply interprets. His wrist is so tense between Ash’s finger, that Ash’s barely can hold him back without hurting more.

“I think the only one you are destroying is yourself, Eiji.” Ash holds his breath and slowly release Eiji’s wrist. “If you think that it's going to help you, it's okay… kill me.”

One side of Ash expects Eiji to laugh sarcastically and just do it, or push him away. Another one almost hopes to get his response, do something to change his mind. Eiji reacts the opposite from any of Ash’s previous guess. He silently gaps and shred drop down from his hand, loudly reaching the floor. Eiji lets his eyes down, together with some painfully sharp noise. _ They were right, he’s weak. _ Ash wants to move forward, but he doesn’t want to ruin this chance.

“What happened between us---”

“Nothing happened!” Eiji shouts and Ash hears him breaking here and now. 

All the walls, covers and freezing cold. Here he is - the boy that Ash, no matter what, must save from the darkness.

“I don’t want to forget that. I can’t.” Ash continues as nothing happened. Eiji must see how seriously he is.

“If you are so desperate to get fuck, go and find someone else. Leave me in peace.”

_What?_ _Was he the one addicted to painful sex?_ Ash didn’t think about sex, not even once. Everything has changed. Not only the body attracts him now. Ash wants more.

He wants to see, to prove that everything that happened wasn’t just hallucination. For both.

“I won’t let anyone else hurt you… and the doctor told me what happened, about the injuries you have… why? Why you wanted this?”

“So, what do you want then? What do you need?? You said you want to revenge Lee clan, so go, do what you have to do, there was no better time for that than now.”

“I just… want to be next to you. I don’t want to leave you alone. Let me protect you, please.”

Ash didn’t even think before acting. He wanted to defend Eiji with his body during the crash, later held him in his arms all the time, every day, almost without any rest, until Eiji pushed him away. But that doesn’t change the fact that Ash was there. And he wants to continue doing it, every day. _ That’s the truth. _

“The Lee clan--”

“Forget the Lee clan!!” Ash yells for the first time at boss. But he can’t hold back anymore. He’s deaf to the fact that they need each other. “I AM HERE. I… am here now for you. I won’t… I won’t abandon you, Eiji.”

Long deadly pause.

“Hold me.”

“What…?” Ash is sure he misunderstood.

“I won’t say it again.”

“I may… touch you…?” 

Ash slowly asks for permission again. It’s unbelievable, even though he dreamed about that for so long. As in an illusion Ash gently places the hand on Eiji’s waist and leans forward until the forehead rests on his shoulder.

“Eiji…” he sighs taking in the favorite rich scent. “Eiji… hug me too.”

And he does. Hands and the whole body are lightly shivering but Eiji hugs Ash’s around the shoulders and deep sighs, all the muscles fall from tension. They hold each other. For the first time both wanting the same. For the first time, it’s not one-sided.

Ash can’t think of anything else, only how small, soft and vulnerable Eiji is in his arms.

“We need to clean that wound…” after million years of that ridiculously comfortable silence Ash speaks again. He has no idea how much time has passed.

Eiji doesn’t answer, but neither shows any sign of rejection, so it’s enough for Ash. He slowly moves back. Not the best time to ask what happened to the mirror, but they can’t stay in the bathroom. Ash moves even if Eiji doesn’t look up. It’s okay to be shy…. At least Ash hopes that's the reason. Eiji’s pride is already crushed, asking for help would not help him to feel better.

Ash wraps an arm around his shoulders, which because of the thin material, feels like Ash is touching his naked skin, and leads to the bedroom.

Eiji’s room proves how minimalist he is. The space is huge, but not a single unnecessary detail or furniture, yet Ash could surely say that it’s a place where the King lives. The only extra decoration seems to be a collection of framed monochrome photography. 

Once Ash makes sure that Eiji is sitting on the edge of the bed, he runs back into the bathroom and starts opening the drawer. Ash ignores bottles with different pills inside – way too many for some so young - as he manages to collect something useful for now.

Ash comes back with a jumping heart, in the corner of his mind expecting to see Eiji again trying to refuse his feelings. But the man hasn't moved from the spot. Ash sits next to him and after a long moment takes Eiji’s hurt hand between his fingers. Ash is sure he slightly flinches while cleaning the wound – luckily not so deep as he imagined – few first aid plasters are enough to patch the cuts. Both of Eiji’s hands are hurt now, and Ash can’t hold back from the desire to do something. He places lips on his hurt finger and finally, Eiji looks at Ash.

“How you deal with this…?” Eiji’s lips move and Ash is no longer able to look somewhere else. His voice is way cuter now.

“Well… stop the bleeding, then…”

“No…” he interrupts with a sigh. “How you deal… with pain?”

Ash waits for further explanation, but it’s not something he’ll get. Is Eiji talking about physical pain that he couldn’t feel for years? Or emotional, which was also out of limits? Both?

“Sometimes it’s easier if you share it…” 

That’s the only answer Ash thinks of. He doesn’t know the right one either. One way doesn’t exist. Usually, he just bears with it and tries to overcome by doing something else. Or just scream the heart out… or locks himself inside. But in Ash’s case, there was always Shorter or Max…

_ Who was on Eiji’s side when he needed the most? When there was still a chance to change something before he completely lost? Who damaged him this badly? Who killed all his hopes? _

“Share?” He asks like a child, who just been told to share his candy with a friend.

“Pain… pain is a part of something that makes us humans. So is everything else… everything that you feel. What do you feel?” 

“I don’t know. It’s chaos… a mess.” 

It’s hard for Eiji to admit, Ash sees how his bottom lip shivers and eyes want to tell something more, but he doesn’t have enough words. 

“Are you tired?” Ash gently rubs Eiji’s hair with another hand, it’s incredibly soft, so pleasant to touch.

“Yes… I just want it to stop.”

Ash doesn’t ask more. He doesn’t even show any signs, but Eiji moves forward and Ash freezes. Eiji’s body leans down until he rests head on Ash’s lap. 

Ash wants to say that it will never stop, but there is nothing wrong about it. Ash wants so badly Eiji to accept this, and don’t try to push away. But he can’t imagine what does it mean to suddenly feel everything after being in a complete void for… _ for how long? _

“I’ll stay on your side… and I’ll fight on your side always. No matter for how long.” Ash doesn’t even know if he has been more honest in his life than now.

“Just stay for now… it’s okay if it’s just for now.” Eiji deeply sighs, hiding his face in Ash’s hand. “It doesn’t have to be forever…”

“Forever…” Ash’s smiles. “Until the end.”

Is it a promise or just a word to cover the reality? Forever sometimes is just a moment. Only for moments like this is enough. No matter how long they will last.

Eiji is quiet, but Ash doesn’t expect words anymore. His breathing gets slower and deeper. Ash without any fear can lean forward and kiss his forehead. 

After waiting for a bit, Ash gently rests him on the bed. When Ash reaches for Eiji’s legs to cover them he notices something. Scars. All over his knees. Ash can't count them all, it’s like a maze. Even more secrets behind this man. Ash’s eyes go up to Eiji’s strong thighs. On the left one Ash sees the part of the dragon’s tail and flames hidden by the material. It takes all the strength to resist touching it. A part of his torso on the same side is still patched – it’s the place where Shorter hurt him. Ash wants to kiss it so badly. Cast on his right hand and flames coming from it lead to shoulders. His bathrobe is slightly open, uncovering the clear smooth skin. 

When Ash finally reaches his face, Eiji’s eyes are open. 

It’s instant flush, Ash opens his mouth trying to think of an excuse why he was looking at him so intense. _ For how long is he awake? _

_ Is it the darkness surrounding the room because of blunt light and closed curtains? Is it because of the distance? Or because their feelings are finally mutual? _Ash doesn’t look away. He doesn’t want to hurt Eiji. No more pain. Ash came here to stay.

“Kiss me…” Eiji’s lips curves in the darkness like a delicious drug that Ash didn’t have for so long. And he’s hungry for it. He is craving for this invitation.

Ash is not sure in which moment it happens, but their lips are suddenly locked together and they breathe in as one. The start is soft, as Ash is not sure how far he can go. Eiji controls it again, just like the first time. He moves the head to the side and accepts Ash to go deeper. The strong feeling of heat spreads through his whole system. Ash brushes against Eiji’s tongue with his and imagines melting Eiji’s troubles, pain and confusion away. To share it. To give something more.

This kiss feels different from the first one. Maybe they all are different? Eiji’s kiss is gentle at first, but both of their hunger reaches the limits. It’s crazy spinning and fast as a roller-coaster, they totally sync and every second is more passionate than the other.

Eiji opens the way in without any words and Ash accepts the invitation. He quickly kicks off his shoes and climbs on the bed, in the space between his legs. Ash finally hugs Eiji’s face with both of his hands and reaches even more, barely holding back from making sounds. Eiji taste is so heavenly good. 

Ash's hand slide down, with the fingertips trying to explore. To feel him. Ecstasy. 

“Wait.” Sudden sound as Eiji quickly moves his head away and makes Ash numb.

Ash couldn’t control. _ He went too far, right? _ He shouldn’t have touched Eiji without permission. 

Eiji covers his lips with arm, but his legs are still squeezing Ash tightly. Ash feels lost. _ Does he need time? _

“I’m sorry…” Ash breaths out on his neck, leaving a small kiss.

“Wait… no… stop.” He grabs Ash's hair.

Eiji’s voice is out of breath, full of desire that Ash has never heard before, yet something is wrong. And the man can’t understand what until Eiji’s body brush against his a bit closer.

“Oh…” Ash looks down, and for some reason wants to laugh cheerfully like a child, but it wouldn’t fit here at all. “It’s okay… It’s okay, Eiji… I….”

“Stop talking and do something about it.” Eiji moves his head back and their eyes meet. The fire inside fills the chest with something incredibly satisfying.

_ Eiji wants him. This is still so unrealistically pleasant to think of. _

“Yes, Sir…” Ash responds with a grin but doesn’t let his eyes down. 

He opens Eiji’s bathrobe, exposing the naked skin and presses the palm against his chest. 

Is it the echo of Ash’s heart or Eiji’s also is about to jump out of the chest? Ash slowly goes down through his hard body, trying to memorize everything like exploring a map on how to go back home. Eiji takes a deep sigh when Ash reaches his abs and gently strokes through them with nails. As it follows down with a perfect shape of V, Ash fingers finally reach it and there is the most pleasant moment of all. It’s hard rock, already slightly covered with a bit of pre-cum. Ash fingers slowly slide down through the length, making it dirtier.

Eiji grips Ash hair harder and his back slightly bends when Ash repeats the move a little bit faster. His mouth goes open a little bit and Eiji frowns loudly breathing out.

“How does it feel…?”

Ash desperately wants to hear it. Any sign that he makes Eiji feel good. Finally.

“As an innocent brat, you’re pretty good at it…” 

It sounds almost like praise, and if Eiji doesn’t admit yet it’s enough for now.

“I had a lot of practice in the shower…” Ash giggles next to his lips implying to all those times when Eiji left him and Ash had to do something about his erection.

Eiji almost answers, but instead, a quiet moan slips through his lips and he covers mouth again with the hand. _ Adorable _. Ash’s head is spinning from happiness and he leans to kiss his jaw, continuing same hand moves, he goes a bit faster or slower, depending on Eiji’s body reactions.

Eiji's whole body suddenly gets tense and instead of trying to hide it, Eiji makes Ash turn his head and captures his lips moaning inside his mouth. Just for a moment, Ash thinks about the possibility of leaving him hanging on the edge just to hear Eiji begging at some point, but changes his mind. Soon there is nothing more than their kiss in the world.

Eiji’s shivering body as he gets relief, Ash's lips suffer from the bites - it gives all the waves of sins. Ash's hand is sticky and wet. Eiji’s head hits the pillow as he breaths deeply and fast, his fingers relax on Ash’s hair and rubs them almost gently.

Ash not sure how further he can go, but after a moment Eiji’s hand is already on Ash’s zipper and the gates are open. Ash let’s go of him just for a moment to take off his sweater, pulls down jeans material together with underwear. Eiji’s bathrobe disappears of his body.

“Do you want to be on top…?” Ash wants to make sure that everything is good for both of them. _ Because they both want it. _

“I like your weight on me… Ash.”

The gravity is gone. The barrier separating heaven and hell doesn’t exist. Ash wants to scream, but he only looks at Eiji, when he again slowly wraps legs around Ash’s naked thighs. When their skin touch it burns.

_ Ash. He said Ash. From his lips, this fake name is something that he wants to carry forever. Ash breaths in. He’s alive. He wants to live for this. _

He touches Eiji’s body with both hands, goes up through his sides and heat burns his skin, but this is the pain Ash needs, he can’t stop. As they keep kissing more and more and lips feel like they’re about to melt, Ash’s fingers reach the lower part again. Eiji is hard again even though it’s still sticky from the last time. Ash leaves the wet path down and stops only when he feels it. 

Eiji flinches.

“It’s not… necessary…” he mutters, trying to keep it cool.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I want you to feel good…”

“Good?” Eiji quietly laughs, but soon the nose changes into a deeper moan when Ash slowly puts one finger inside. 

He wraps the hand around Ash’s neck and sighs harder when Ash continues reaching for more. _ It hurts. Not for Eiji. It hurts for Ash. _ Gently brushing over his entrance Ash feels the uneven skin. _ Scars? Scars… Years…. Years of pain. Scars that Ash left as well. _

Their kiss and touch melt in the silence. Ash tries to do it as gently as he can, with one then second and the third finger. He doesn’t even flinch when Eiji grabs skin on Ash’s shoulder between his teeth and bites hard. Eiji’s body gives up, and Ash feels like stretching more is unnecessary, but as their eyes meet again, Ash can’t say what Eiji is thinking.

As Ash takes fingers out, Eiji's naked skin shivers tenderly searching for a deeper touch again. The man gracefully bends his back and slightly opens lips with the soft sigh, tickling Ash’s neck, hiding again. It’s warm between his strong thighs, to be trapped in the toxic cage. Ash feels like drunk touching his velvet curves and bounding deeper towards him. When Ash moves a bit forward, Eiji’s whole body responds and he wraps legs stronger around Ash. It’s pleasing to see him so tender, but incredibly hard take it in small doses.

“Do it…” the touch of his words creates an instant intoxication. Ash is so powerless against that.

Eiji’s fingers run through Ash’s spine leaving a cold and soft trace on the burning skin, brushes over Ash’s hair, playing with light strands. Eiji desperately moves the other hand lower, trying to lead, but he can’t do it anymore. Ash’s catches his wrist, softly rubs with the thumb, as their fingers intertwine. Ash can’t speak, only hold his lips pressed to Eiji’s jawline, tasting the sweetness. 

He’s so terrified. _ They both are. _

_ But for different reasons. _

“It’s okay…” Eiji’s voice again rubs Ash's body and he wants to believe, that Eiji doesn’t lie.

Ash wraps free hand and gently lifts Eiji's hips to reach a better angle. He inhales deeply with the tip of the nose searching for a place to scent him stronger. Eiji’s abs brush against his, and Ash is completely chained inside the moment.

It isn’t the first time, but neither of them can’t stop softly shaking while holding each other tightly. Tonight, it’s something about Eiji that lighted up Ash from the inside, and there is something about Ash, that completely melted Eiji’s strong confidence. Ash slowly finds the way, to enter him, as he pushes the tip to the entrance, cautiously moving inside. It's wet, hot, loosen. Ash knows he did everything right to hurt him as little as possible. 

Yet.

Suddenly Eiji seizes Ash’s hair painfully, his fingers in Ash’s hand tightly grips into the skin and thighs tense. Touching him is like being handed by the holy grail, to be touched – mends the heart even if Ash never thought how deeply it is wounded.

Ash tries to calm him down, with the gentle touch of his fingers. 

“It… hu-rts…” his unexpected cry wets Ash’s ear, but Eiji doesn’t let him go, as he squeezes Ash harder between legs, and Ash pushes deeper. “It… hurts… to feel…” he moans again dripping hard against Ash’s skin.

“Eiji… I can… st---”

“I don’t deserve… to feel… I don’t deserve to feel…” Eiji cries quietly, hardly pressing face against Ash’s face. “I don’t… I can't...” 

Remains of the walls turning into the dust and Eiji suffers fighting his demons. Ash only holds him harder, even if he doesn’t understand everything yet.

Ash dreamed of breaking him – never thought it will be so painful.

“Of course, you deserve… why…” it tears his heart to hear those words, to learn that all this time Eiji was holding back when he could be something more.

“I don’t deserve… I don’t deserve it… I don’t need it… I… don’t… need…”

“Eiji!” Ash hugs his face with both hands and almost forces him to look up. He’s a total mess, eyes are lost and full of tears – actual ones – he’s like broken glass, crumble paper, fragile small…. Only a human. 

_ Was he so silent because he was afraid to break like this? _

“Please…” he sobs desperately. “Please…”

“I'll do anything… Eiji… I’ll do everything. I promise.” Ash collects his tears with lips one after another, but his pain is endless. 

They hold each other endlessly until Eiji stops shivering and bad things leave his head.

_ Maybe it's not the best time for this. _ Ash slowly starts pulling out, but Eiji is holding him too tight.

“Don’t… don’t.” Eiji whispers keeping Ash locked down. 

“But it hurts for you, I don’t want to…”

“It doesn’t hurt… it didn’t hurt last time. It doesn’t hurt now… You can’t hurt me. I don’t know… why, but with you, I don’t remember anything painful.” He snuffles, pressing lips against Ash’s skin. “I couldn’t feel pain… but every time we did it, something inside me was cracking and it hurt… it hurt so much inside the chest. My hate…my hate for you was keeping it.”

_ Was it all for psychological pain, not for the physical? Just like the doctor said. Rape. Even if Ash didn’t realize what he was doing. _

“But… you said you don’t feel anything...”

“I didn’t… I didn’t feel anything. There was no hate… no pain. Nothing I needed to feel like I’m alive. But there was something else…”

“What?” Ash breaths next to his ear. _ Why it crashes every part of his body to hear that? _

“Your touch… I felt your touch.”

“When I took your hand?”

_ Eiji’s first blush. _

Instead of an answer Eiji only grips on Ash tighter. His breathing calms down a bit. Ash still wants answers, he wants to know who told Eiji that he’s doesn’t deserve to feel, who told him, who made him suffer so much. Ash thought that this moment there is no place for hate inside. But it’s not true. He wants to know, who was so strong to take down someone like Eiji? Ash needs to know so he could protect him better.

Ash finds Eiji’s lips again and deeply kisses him as he thrust hips and Eiji grips his skin. _ Eiji may have not said it, but it must feel good. _ Otherwise, he would have not reacted to this so tenderly. _ Eiji is not used to feeling good. _ But Ash wants to give him… he wants so badly to prove that everything might different between them.

As Ash enters all the way, Eiji lifts his hips, shivers in Ash's hands.

“Aahh…”

Eiji’s unexpected loud moan across the room. Strings cuts. The blond man shutters hard as a response and freezes from the most beautiful sound he has heard so far in his existence. 

“Are you serious…?” Eiji breaths out hard, his hand and body fall on the bed.

The silence lasts for a long moment, as Ash hides his face from embarrassment in Eiji’s neck. He didn’t expect the body to react this way, only from one honest sound he made. It’s hot inside him, and Ash wants to bury himself deep down in the ground. The first time Ash had a chance to be inside him as long as he wants… and it ends up like this. 

_ What a fail. _

“You better make it stand up again soon.” Eiji sighs breathless, again rubbing Ash’s hair.

“I’ll keep you entreated while we wait…” Ash suggests still with flushed cheeks.

“Oh...?” Eiji laughs, gently biting Ash ear, as the man tastes skin and kisses the path down towards his chest. “Ooooohhh…” Eiji touches the bottom lip with his index finger and winks. “Proceed…”

“Yes, Boss…”

  
  
  
  
  


Ash barely in time grabs his jeans on the floor and run inside the bathroom before Eiji wakes up. And just because of damn luck doesn’t step on the glass. He takes out the phone.

“What the fuck do you want, Marion???” he hisses for some reason answering the call.

“You already done? Even a grandpa would last longer.”

Against his will, Ash suddenly remembers what happened at first. But they had many times after that. Still, the feeling that she managed to stalk this somehow doesn’t let him go.

“Bye—”

“Wait! Is Boss asleep?” she laughs.

“Yes… Why?”

“Okay, get out of the room now.” She orders, and it’s Ash’s time to laugh.

“Uummm…. No?”

“No seriously… get out. I understand you had the moment of sparkle or whatever, but he's not ready for you to see it. I’m sure of it. He’ll get upset if you see him sleeping… don’t try to--”

“What?” Ash sighs pinching his temples. “You know what? Goodbye.”

“Serio---”

But Ash hangs up and turns off the phone. Whatever crazy joke she had in mind it doesn’t matter. He returns to the room, Eiji is sleeping on his stomach, hair falling on his face, with a bit swollen lips from kisses and neck covered in marks. Blanket reaches only until his waist. Ash smiles, gazing at the tattoo and his naked leg falling off the covers for a bit longer, before going back to the bed. 

_ This must the best dream he ever had. _

* * *

_ “It’s so beautiful here, Griff!” Eiji smiles holding matcha ice-cream in one hand and trying to reach for cherry blossom branch with another. _

_ Griffin quietly laughed looking at that small six-year-old peep trying his best. _

_ Even if they are so different, Griffin couldn’t stop thinking that Aslan would be the same. Griffin only hopped that Max is taking good care of him for now. Chest crushes how badly he misses little brother. _

_ “Griff!!” _

_ Eiji glares art him pouty, asking for attention. Griffin comes closer and lifts him so the boy could reach the pink flower. _

_ “Ooooh!” he happily squeals, holding on the branch as he pulls it down to his small nose. He looks kind of disappointed. “They don’t smell…” _

_ “That’s why you have to enjoy the view.” Griffin grabs him a little bit more comfortable. He catches one blossom and puts it behind Eiji’s ear. The pink color looks beautiful on him. “Happy Birthday, my boy.” _

_ “How do you?” Eiji opens his mouth from surprise. _

_ “Is that what you say?” _

_ Griffin laughs from his silly face. How adorable he can be. Griffin knows him for a little bit more than seven months, but he became something so special. It’s hard to admit, but Eiji is a sort of replacement for Aslan. At the same time, Griffin hopes that after the day, when he’ll take this clan down, he’ll be able to take Eiji and adopt him. Save him from this life. _

_ “Thank you…” Eiji softly blushes, turning his big dark eyes to the side and licks ice-cream, hugging Griffin around the neck harder. _

_ His eyes are sparkling, the wind blows messing cherry blossoms around them and Griffin feels this kind of strange peace inside. The last day of March this year is beautiful like never. Yet Griffin's heart aches so bad, as Eiji’s sleeve slides a bit up and he again notices a fresh bruise. _

_ Eiji has been telling Griff that he falls or injures during the practice. At first, it was easy to believe, but then something else kept scratching. He came a few times to watch Eiji’s kendo, kyudo or aikido practices and the boy was always doing a great job. Something was missing. And him being covered in bruises even during a day like this just couldn’t be right. _

_ On their way back from Kyoto they don’t talk much, Eiji holds a plushie bird called Nori Nori, that Griffin won for him in Arcade, pressed to his chest. _

_ “Did my father knows that we went to Kyoto?” he asks pressing the toy even harder. _

_ “Of course, he knows! I told him that you deserve to have a small Birthday party.” _

_ Griffin found this question a bit strange. They never really talked about the boss with Eiji, but Griffin only could imagine how that man should be proud of having such a talented and smart son as Eiji. Maybe Eiji is sad that Griffin took him instead of the father? _

_ He hasn’t spoken a word after that. _

_ “Thank you, Griff… it was the best Birthday I had…” he whispers holding on Griffin’s sweater in the hallway next to the stairs before parting their ways. _

_ “Really? Then we should travel more together. I will tell you when I have time, okay?” Griffin rubs his black hair. Cherry blossom is still there behind the ear. _

_ Eiji quickly lifts his eyes. They look desperate. _

_ “I lov—” _

_ “Eiji.” The cold voice cuts the air and the boy jumps back as if Griffin was some sort of disease. “What’s that?” Boss glares at the toy in Eiji’s hand. _

_ “Griffin’s present…” Eiji murmurs. _

_ “Why you suddenly deserve a present?” he laughs looking down at the boy. _

_ “Well, every good child deserves a present for their Birthday, right, Boss?” _

_ Griffin tries to stay as polite as possible, but something about this situation irate him a bit. Griff knows that Boss is cold and doesn’t show any emotions. But he doesn’t have to be so cruel with Eiji, at least not today. _

_ “Really?” he makes a pause. “Does it make you happy, Eiji?” _

_ Eiji almost unclearly nods hiding his face in the plushie. _

_ “Answer.” _

_ Even Griff flinch from the tone boss use. Why he is talking like Eiji would be a deadly enemy? _

_ “Yes, Sir.” _

_ “How nice. Let’s go. I also have a present for you.” Boss shows with the head for him to move, and Eiji does without saying another word. “Griffin…” _

_ “Yes, boss?” he just barely holds back the anger. _

_ “Don’t ever get near my son again.” _

_ He walks after Eiji leaving Griffin frozen. He hasn’t seen many boss’s and Eiji’s interactions before, because of how busy they were, but he always imagined that the man is cold to a boy only because he wants Eiji to be respectful. Sometimes, in Griffin's opinion, he overdid things, but Griffin was sure that he wants only the best for Eiji. Any other father would. Why he would prohibit Griffin to meet Eiji? Did he think that Griffin makes him a bad influence? _

_ The man walks back to his office a bit confused, he tries to write the weekly report, but the head is empty. What kind of present boss wanted to give for Eiji if he was already mad about the toy? Griffin stares in front trying to imagine… Remembering Eiji’s question inside the car, his scared pose in the hallway… and him being terrified to talk about those injures he had… like he would get in trouble if someone knew the truth. _

_ No way it could be true. _

_ Griffin stands up and runs out of the room. On his way he sees Ibe. He's about to ask something, but Griffin runs through without listening. He searches for Eiji’s room, but it's empty. Then he walks on the other side of the hallway to the boss’s office. Nobody could go there without his invitation and Griffin always respected that, because that was his duty. To gain Okumura’s trust and then break him down. As a second in command Griff is already so close to the goal. Griffin stops before taking the handle. He shouldn’t do that. It could ruin everything. Maybe boss just went for a walk with Eiji? _

_ Quiet cry. So quiet that Griffin isn't even sure that it was real. _

_ “Didn’t I tell you to keep quiet?” the voice sharply cuts the air and Griffin squeezes the handle harder between the fingers. _

_ Another cry, and then a loud noise crossing the air like a bullet. Hit. Cry. Other sounds. _

_ Griffin loudly opens the door before he even realizes what he is doing. The view immobilizes the time and surroundings. Its blood. Eiji only in his underwear, hands tied with the rope, kneeling on the splinters of something that once used to be a bottle of wine. In the puddle of his own blood. His back covered in long red strips. And the devil himself holding the belt. _

_ Akihito turns at him, but Griffin shoots before he says any words. Shoots him in his legs, because he doesn't deserve to die so lightly, without the pain. Griffin shuts and locks the door, saving himself a bit of time, when Akihito shouts and falls on the floor. Eiji next to him flinches with a dull scream. Griffin’s body moves by himself. He drops the gun and grabs man on the ground. _

_ “You… fucker…” Griffin punches him the face hard. Like he always dreamed to do. He does again and again. Even if that shit still has strengths to kick him in the stomach with the fist and Griffin moans from the pain. They quickly switch the places and now Akihito is the one beating Griffin’s face. One punch after another, he could have made Griffin choke with the blood and saliva. _

_ He is laughing. Laughing out loud like an animal having fun, but Griffin still hears Eiji’s crying louder and that gave him strengths. Griffin stretches this hand reaching, until finger’s touch the sharp material. He grabs the shred cutting himself, but this slight pain doesn’t feel real. _

_ One second. And one quick smooth move against Akihito’s throat. It takes only one second and blood is all over Griffin’s face, clothes and floor. Akihito takes a long and loud breath in, and Griffin pushes him away from himself, trying to clean the face. That bastard’s blood got everywhere, even in Griffin’s mouth. The man tries to clean it with his sweater, at least a bit, so he could see clear and then turns at Eiji. _

_ The boy is kneeling next to Akihito, holding on his jacket. His shaking small body, teary eyes. With his tiny hand, he reaches for his father's neck and unsuccessfully tries to press the wound on the throat. Akihito is painfully catching his last drops of air, his dark eyes were wandering around the room in agony and he still searches for something with his fingers. _

_ “Ei—j—i…” he bloody coughs out the last word from his mouth and his watch freezes at his son. Like staring into the soul. Like he could get inside Eiji and haunt that poor boy forever. _

_ At that six-year-old… who instead of moving away, leans forward and screams in his dead father’s clothes. _

_ “Father…” Eiji sobs out loud shredding the air into the pieces. “Dad…” _

_ He is shivering hard like a leaf and cries in the most painful screech that Griffin has ever heard. There is no need for him to keep pressing the wound, but he still does Griffin slowly gets closer and looks at the man’s face. He lied there like a statue, which just a moment ago was a disgusting beast. For how many years he was torturing this boy? _

_ What really happened to Eiji’s mother? Did she committed suicide or… _

_ “Eiji…” Griffin carefully starts. He knows that someone will come soon and now was the only chance for them to run somehow. Somewhere. Probably go straight to the police. But they had to move quickly. _

_ Griffin touches Eiji's small shoulders and tries to pull away from that bag of meat on the floor. _

_ “Eiji…. Look… at me.” He begs. “I’m sorry… but…” _

_ “Thank you…” _

_ The boy looks up with the empty face and when for a second their eyes meet, Griffin’s whole body becomes stiff. Eiji doesn't have emotions inside his face. Erased. Empty. _

_ “Thank you, Griff… Thank you…” he slowly smiles, with cold look, glass eyes… shredded heart. _

_ Griff breathes in loudly and presses Eiji to his chest rocking him. Griffin lays lips against his rich dark hair and closes eyes. _

_ Eiji is silent. It seems that he stopped breathing. Just a small shell, completely alone in this universe. _

_ Void. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and I added one more chapter to the fic. Honestly, only so I could write ONE chapter only full of love.


	6. Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time is passing but amazing people never stop surprising me with their talents! I'm actually sobbing so hard because I have one more masterpiece dedicated to this fanfic!  
By [Prologue](https://twitter.com/prologhex): [Boss Okumura and Ash](https://twitter.com/prologhex/status/1246837361314594816)
> 
> Please give her your support. She deserves it!!
> 
> The first part, in italic, is the last backstory from Eiji's childhood!  
Despite the dark past from Eiji's childhood and explanation about Griffin's death, following a lot of killings, I don't know if there are major triggers this time! Unless: choking (this actually a bad trigger yes), and boss being possessive over Ash, as their relationship is still toxic.

_He didn’t plan this, not today not like that. But neither he regrets. It’s too late for that now. Griffin can still get Eiji out from this hell. They can run together and make it work. FBI maybe not be happy, since Griffin completely ruined the plan, when he was so close to the goal. But it doesn’t matter. Eiji can still get better, he can’t be free… he can. _

_Eiji doesn’t move in his hands, and for a moment Griffin thinks that he fainted from the stress and exhaustion. But boy's eyes are still open wide, only without any sign of life. He’s in shock and it’s completely normal or Griffin wants to believe so until loud knock disturbs the deadly silence._

_“Sir, is everything okay?”_

_Griffin covers Eiji’s mouth even though he doesn’t seem in condition to speak. They heard. They heard him shoot. The place is surrounded. They both covered in blood. There’s no way they'll get through them._

_The steps go away quickly, and the time starts running._

_They catch him and they'll torture. Griffin is not afraid of the pain, but he’s afraid of them trying to dig further. Of them finding out that he’s from FBI, which may put in danger every other agent working undercover on this case. If Griffin doesn’t stop the chain, it’ll destroy years of work for generations. With the boss’s death, his hands are empty anyway. Someone else in the future will come to his place and end the work. Or…_

_“Eiji… Eiji, listen to me. You’ll have to do something very important. Eiji.”_

_Griffin takes his gun from the ground then gets near Eiji, grabs his shoulders, makes the boy stand on his feet. Eiji lifts eyes but they don't say anything. His breathing is so slow. It’s almost disturbing and Griff wish he could give Eiji the entire time in the world to get back on his feet, but they don’t have it. They don’t have._

_“Eiji! Do you hear me? You need to be strong, okay? You need to listen to me carefully. Do you hear me? Can you? Please, Eiji.”_

_He softly pats Eiji’s cheeks a few times until he blinks, Eiji's head nods, and Griff takes it for an answer. He leans forward to Eiji’s ear._

_“There’s something you must do. It’s very important.”_

_He tells him. He tells him everything, even though some of the things he might not understand. Most of them will not make any sense, but Griffin knows Eiji is not like others. He knows this boy doesn’t deserve to spend his entire life here. But if Eiji tries do rebel now it will end up ugly. Staying strong is the only thing he can do. One day he’ll understand the meaning of Griffin’s words. And then the time will be right. Griffin knew he’ll do the right thing. They turned him into this broken human and Eiji doesn’t have any other way._

_“I don’t understand… Griffin. Where…. Where are you going? Don’t leave me… I don’t understand what you mean with this… I’m sorry…. I don’t understand…” he starts mumbling repeatedly as soon as Griffin lets him. He’s woken up again, but Griff is afraid he might lose Eiji again anytime soon. He's probably is in so much pain._

_“I can’t stay. I’m sorry, Eiji. But you’re the only one who can do this, okay?” Griffin takes a deep pause before continuing. “And now… now they must see that you’re strong. If they suspect any kind of betrayal, you’ll be next, do you understand? They will not accept you being weak. You must promise me, you’ll survive. You’ll survive no matter what.” Griffin shook Eiji's shoulders harder until the boy gasped with a loud inhale like being pulled out from the water._

_“Yes… yes…” he nods trying to catch on Griffin’s clothes with his shivering fingers. “But take me… take me with yourself…. please… I’ll be good, I promise. I’ll be good…”_

_Griffin suddenly gets up on his feet letting Eiji go and pushes the table towards the corner, so he could reach the camera in the corner. As he thought it’s turned off. That freak was hiding all of this from the clan. Griffin puts the cable in and jumps off the table and goes back to Eiji. _

_He slides down, knees are bending down. Griffin knows he’s ready. At the same time, it’s hard to realize. Or maybe that’s a good thing. He kneels in front of Eiji and makes him take the gun. Points it right to his own chest. Griffin's heart is pounding louder, Eiji’s fingers between his shutters trying to find the way out._

_“I’ll help you, don’t worry. The camera is in the right corner, they won’t understand.” He doesn’t need to think. It'll be over soon. He doesn’t need to remember._

_“I don’t want to… I don’t want to… I… love you, Griff… I’ll be good…”_

_And then Griffin makes a mistake. He looks into Eiji’s face but can't see him clearly through the mist. There's only Aslan. Griffin promised he’ll come back, and he broke it. But here he’s standing right in front. Griffin wants to say more, he wants to assure that it'll never be his fault, but everything sips through. Green eyes, blond hair… he’s here again._

_“It’s okay…” Griffin’s lips shutter. “I’m sorry… it’s okay…”_

_“No… I don’t… I won’t… I don’t….”_

_Griffin leans in and wraps his hand around small shoulders, while Eiji is trying to break out as hard as he can. From the side it might look like Griffin is keeping him by force, torturing. That’s all he needs. _

_Shouting. Loud noise. They are breaking the door._

_Eiji is crying loudly, screaming, he’s shuttering and breaking, piercing the air with the screech, like a wounded animal. His body wreaks from the shiver and panic. The last thing he feels. Griffin will turn him into a monster, he’ll build the walls - the only thing that will keep him alive for years here in this hell._

_“Please…. Please… plea-se…”_

_“It’s okay… it’s okay…” Griffin rubs Eiji's hair, holding him firm. There’s no escape._

_His hair is soft just as Griffin remembers. Knowing that Aslan is safe far away with Max, makes the end easier. He’ll get the future he deserves. Future Griffin failed him to give. Eiji always reminded of Aslan, he always was the one making Griffin’s day worth moving forward. This boy also deserved better. He deserves the world without damages without the dirt. Griffin is not sure if he's thinking of Aslan or Eiji anymore, as the world passes by too quickly._

_It's okay._

_It breaks with the bang. _

_“Boss!! What the hell…?!”_

_It’s time. _

_A pause. Griffin finds the trigger. The boy screams into his shirt for the last time._

_“Aslan.”_

_One day----_

* * *

Someone is crying, quietly trying to hide it from the world, but it's too real. Ash is dreaming, he’s sure of it. He tries to understand who is crying and where the sounds are coming from but there are no answers. The sound is going in through his skin, painfully crushing, asking for help.

Ash takes a deep breath, eyes open into the dark ceiling. He must have fallen asleep. But someone is still crying, this quiet scream for help is not in his mind. It’s close.

“Eiji…?” Ash turns his head at the man next to him.

In the darkness, Ash can only see the shape, but no mistake it’s him. The man leans a bit forward. Fingers reach warm skin. It’s shivering under Ash’s fingers.

“Eiji…”

He tries again, but Eiji doesn’t seem to react. Ash isn't sure anymore is this an illusion, but the cry is too real. Ash mutters and leans back to his side to turn on the night lamp. Blurry light frames the shadows. Eiji’s face is pressed to the pillow hard, as he holds the blanket with both hands like a child. He’s trembling endlessly, it's agonizing to see.

“Hey…” Ash slides next to Eiji confidently, and takes his head between hands, softly turning Eiji’s face at himself.

Eyes are shut, but the face is restless, cheeks drowning in tears. He's having a nightmare, a very bad one, but no matter what it is… it’s not real. Ash is lost for a moment, as he’s not sure what to do. To see Eiji breaking down is one thing but seeing him suffering even during his sleep... Ash can’t help him in any way.

“It’s just a dream…” Ash lays down close to Eiji, rubbing his cheek with a thumb, slowly reaching for his rich hair.

Oddly crushing feeling. Strongest yakuza in Japan is nothing more than a child inside, scared of a nightmare. _What could scare him this much?_ Ash can’t think of anything decent enough. The only explanation might be his mental exhaustion.

“No… don’t.” Eiji’s lips slightly open as be begs sorely, then tries to move face away from Ash.

“Eiji…it’s okay… Eiji…” Ash holds him still, then gently press his forehead against his. For a moment, Ash considers waking him up.

But as Ash leans a little bit more in, suddenly Eiji's eyes open. He looks at Ash with that lost gaze full of transparent pearls, completely terrified like seeing a ghost. Until the body in Ash’s arms turns stiff.

_He's not ready for you to see it._

Marion’s words cross Ash’s mind just a second before Eiji’s jumps back. His face changes in a flash. But Ash doesn’t understand what he’s scared of now. Everyone has bad dreams. Or is it because Ash is the one seeing it? Ash already saw today every fragile side of his. One more weakness is not going to change anything.

“List—”

“Get out.”

Eiji turns his head away holding arms against the naked chest. He’s still lost, he can’t even look directly at Ash.

“What?” Ash thought he misunderstood. It must be a joke. The man sits reaching for Eiji’s hand. “Nothing bad happen—”

“Don’t touch me. Get out of the room.” Eiji’s voice is slightly shivering, it’s like he’s trying to hold it back. “Just go. We’ll talk… later…”

Eiji is lost and doesn’t know how to tell this properly. Obviously, he doesn’t want to shout or ruin what they created, but he wants Ash to be gone. This is completely out of the choices that Ash wants to make. He came here to stay. If Ash leaves now because of Eiji’s insecurities, this fragile connection might be lost. Ash looks at him in silence not moving, Eiji’s cheeks are still shinning in from tears, lips pressed into a narrow line, jaw tense – all signs how hard he tries not to show emotions.

“Get out!” he shouts but Ash doesn’t even flinch. He can’t scare him looking like this.

“I’m not going anywhere. Let’s talk… Eiji… it’s okay… there is nothing bad about you havin---”

“Shit, shut up… shut up.” Eiji groans and Ash doesn’t finish the sentence. He’s not even sure that Eiji is talking to him, even if it does sound weird. Eiji gets up from the bed, taking his bathrobe.

Ash stares at the dragon on his back, the beast is asleep, seems calm like never. Ash doesn’t want to awaken him, but neither he can let Eiji run away from something he still is learning to control.

Ash quickly moves and grabs Eiji’s arm to stop him. As soon as his fingers touch Eiji’s skin, the man suddenly turns around and with few moves wraps the thin bathrobe's fabric around Ash’s throat like a rope. Silk might look harmless but as Eiji pulls its ends to the sides with force, material sharply cuts into Ash’s skin. The man almost immediately falls on the bed.

“I told you to not touch me.” Eiji crushes Ash’s body down even more with the knee on his stomach.

“Ei—ji….”

Ash fingers instinctively try to rip the material off, but the body doesn’t fight back. If he does it will just hurt Eiji more. And Eiji already has enough pain because of previous cut and cast on the wrist.

Ash looks up at the ceiling feeling like a complete masochist himself, but he’s not enjoying it. He just tries to do what is right. And now it feels right to stay by Eiji's side.

Black spots appear everywhere, and the lack of air is killing his lungs, pain in the neck might tear his skin, but Ash is devoted. He decided. He decided to stay. He stays. He will not go away. Ash’s lips open, but he can’t make a sound anymore. It burns. For him.

Suddenly he takes a deep but painful gulp of oxygen when the view clears up. Ash's body shivers as he wraps fingers around the neck, it burns like hell. He turns to the side breathing fast and irregularly, saliva runs down his chin. Ash is trying to stabilize the breathing rhythm, but he feels like a fish on the shore.

“You never listen…” Eiji’s low voice is worse than shouting. He sounds disappointed.

Eiji from a few hours ago is gone. Ash lost him in the dream. The man tries to sit, but the head is spinning, and he only hears how the door shuts loudly.

Eiji doesn’t come back. Ash is not sure if guards are warned. Or is it safe to go out. So he dresses and waits. Lost count for how long.

“Fuck it.”

Ash enters the bathroom and takes the largest shred from the floor. Might not protect him from the bullet, but if he needs to defend himself, he will. It hurts to swallow and neck aches, but since the mirror is broken, Ash doesn’t bother to look for somewhere else to check. Ash quietly and goes out. The hallway seems dead, and even if he tries to listen carefully there is no sound.

Ash doesn’t know this place at all. The only time he came to this residence, he got shot in the bathroom, which is in another direction. The place is cold, even the warm season outside doesn’t help bring life inside. This branch in New York is rarely used as Eiji spends most of his time in Japan. Ash wish they were there now. At least he knows everything about that place. He reaches stairs and thoughtfully starts going down.

“Only now crawled from you pity hole?”

Ash almost drops the glass when the loud voice hits him from nowhere. It’s because she is almost invisible, but always finds other ways to announce of her existence.

“Marion… what is going on?”

Ash quickly finishes running down and finds her sitting on the couch, legs with block heels on the table. Her classy clothing style today doesn’t fit relaxed bitch behavior at all.

“You can put down that thing, scary cat.” She glances over the magazine in her hand. “We’re the only ones here.”

“Where’s Boss?” Ash automatically asks. How lame of him was to think that there is any possibility for Eiji to come back.

“Went to the doctor to get his cast taken off. Told me to stay here and babysit you.”

“I don’t need your babysitting.” Ash rolls his eyes, dropping the glass down on the table, and not paying attention at the judging look of hers.

“Sure. I see you had some fun.” Her wink on the lips only grows, as she shamelessly stares at Ash’s neck over the top of her magazine. It must be bad. Her eyes are glowing.

“Tell me which hospital he went to, I’ll go.” Ash doesn’t pay too much attention to her, because it will only make Marion happier.

She also ignores him. At first, but when Ash is about to leave without answer and try calling Sing, Marion closes the magazine and sits straight crossing her legs.

“Did he have a nightmare?”

“What?” Ash freezes.

“He did, right? And you selfishly stayed because you thought you knew what you’re doing. Am I right, white ass?” she puts more pressure only making Ash’s neck itch more.

“None of your business, woman.”

She stands up, and because of the heels, it’s a bit more impressive than always.

“Hey, stop… not inside.” Sing’s voice stops her from adding more gasoline. “Hey, Ash. Marion, let’s go for a smoke.”

“Why are you not with Boss?” Ash frowns because it doesn’t seem right. Sing never leaves him.

“He wanted to go with Ibe alone. And it’s not like I can say no,” he explains as unhappy as he can’t be. Leaving Eiji alone must bring him more anxiety than he shows.

Marion stands up and fixes her black jacket on shoulders, covering a white shirt with a deep neckline.

“What the hell?!” Ash jumps back frowning when she on purpose steps on his feet with her heel. _What’s wrong with this family??_

“Ooops.” She answers with an innocent smile and walks out first.

“This brat…” Ash sighs following after Sing.

“Technically she is older than you, so….” he shrugs. “Hey, what happened to your neck? If you’re alive I assume yesterday…”

“Technically only,” Ash mumbles ignoring the second part. He doesn’t want to say anything until he meets Eiji. “I need you to tell me where he went, Sing.”

“Just wait until he comes back, don’t rush things…” Marion glance over the shoulder.

Sing opens the door for Marion, and they go outside. Guards next to the door nod for them but don’t do anything else. Either they were warned about Ash, either it doesn’t matter who comes until Eiji is not around.

“Yesterday you said I was his only hope and I must do something before it’s too late, and now I suppose to go back to Alex and pretend as nothing happened?” They walk a bit further from the entrance next to the ashtray.

Ash is not sure why he’s following these two. But he regrets not following Eiji tonight for sure.

“Chill dude. I talked with him before he left.” Marion takes out one cigarette and then turns pack at Ash side.

_Oh, great. So Eiji is talking with her, but not with him?_

“You know I don’t smoke.” Ash rolls his eyes. “What did you talk about?”

“About your white ass. Take that freaking cig.” She almost insists and Ash only frowns looking at those deadly sticks, until she gives up. “I told you to get out of the room, but you didn’t listen. It’s not boss's fault.” Marion lights her cig.

Sing nods in agreement. _What is this? Conspiracy?_

“Marion is right…. You---”

“I never said it his fault. But I can’t leave it like that. Like you said yesterday, he’s not well.”

“His feelings and nightmares are two did different things.”

She turns her eyes directly at Ash. The cigarette between her puffy bloody red lips fits well. Marion knows the power she holds. She knows so much more about Eiji than Ash ever will and it’s so disturbing. Everyone just tried to teach him how to act around Eiji. He doesn’t need another teacher especially the one who can barely reach the table. _Why he trusts her so much? Why she’s always on Eiji’s side, even if he’s not right?_

“When did he leave?” Ash doesn’t want to agree with her.

“Around 7 am. He should be coming back any minute now.”

It's been almost four hours since he left the room. _Was he talking with Marion all that time?_

Almost at the same moment as Sing’s words, a black car appears on the road, going towards them. Three of them sigh as one at the same time. Sing puts out his cigarette and walks to meet him.

“Don’t shit your pants.” Marion winks before going away, but Ash doesn’t answer.

She may be right. He thought that in the morning, they'll have a long talk again and figure out things, but everything again slipped through his hand.

“Dude, you may not be my favorite type of ass, but you need to chill. I can smell your fear.” little gnome talks again.

“So, stop sniffing.” Ash looks down at her and they both stare for a long intense moment until Sing’s voice makes them turn back at once.

“Ibe! Why you’re alone??? Where’s Boss?”

“What do you mean? I came to meet with Eiji now. We supposed to have a meeting around eight-thirty.” Ibe shuts the door. “He’s not at home? Why you’re not with him?”

“He told me that he’s going with you to take off his cast! And he didn’t want me to go. Only a driver is with him.” Sing takes out his phone and quickly delays the number. “Marion, do you know something, and you lied to me??” he asks her while waiting for an answer.

But Marion’s face is blank, she doesn’t know. And maybe feels a bit hurt because of that.

“Ash, at least you should be with him. Or it didn’t go that well…?” Ibe gives a quick look at Ash’s neck. Ash ignores.

“He’s not answering. Fuck fuck fuck.” Sing is swearing nonstop, scrolling through his phone. “I can track the car. I can’t believe he tricked me!!”

_Eiji what are you doing?_ Ash has no idea like always. The worst part that he’s there completely alone. Even though it was his choice, but it doesn’t change the fact. Ash knew only one, he would have never done this without a plan. It is something Eiji had to do. Was it intended from the beginning, even before Ash came in? He wasn’t supposed to be there. Now it makes more sense why Eiji decided to leave instead of kicking him out.

“It’s near the port… this place…” Sing stares at the screen. Ash leans a bit forward to see as well. Marion wants to, but it’s too high for her.

“It’s the Pit,” Ash recalls the shape of the building.

“What the hell he’s doing in that hole…?! After I made him wear those _Armani_ shoes…” she mumbles crossing her arms on the chest.

_Why does it matter now??_

“Aren’t you worried? About him? Something might happen. I lived in that place, no matter what it’s---”

“Lived there? Suits you.” She chuckles with pleasure. “The only thing I’m worried about is the dirt there.” Marion is still pissed off about her stupid shoes. “It’s his territory. There is no danger for him.”

“Shit, I don’t understand why he lied to me. And why the driver is not picking up?!” Sing nervously brushes through his hair.

“I’m going there,” Ash announces, and everyone glares at him. “What? I’m not letting him be in that place alone.”

“No. You don’t understand. If he wants to be alone. You let him be alone.” Marion slowly explains like talking to a mentally ill person.

“Well, I don’t care. He didn’t shoot me yesterday, won’t shoot me today either. I’m taking the car.” Ash doesn’t wait for an answer he’s already next to the vehicle.

“Ooh! Then I’m going together. He’ll blame you, and I’ll say that I tried to stop you as hard as I could.” Marion happily claps hands.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?”

“Not annoying as your white ass.” She is about to get in but suddenly stops. “Wait for a moment, I have to take something from the house.” She impressively quickly walks inside.

“Sing go with them.” Ibe sighs. “This is a bad idea though. The pit was cleaned a few weeks ago, there is nothing dangerous there. I guess Eiji just decided to have a meeting with someone.”

“Yes. I’m driving.” Sing goes again into his soldier's mood, but Ash feels like he's asked to be their babysitter.

Ash never spent so much time with Marion before, but Ash is sure she'll be nothing more than pain in the ass.

It takes around half an hour to get there. Ash is completely pissed off because the thing Marion took from the house was nothing more than a purse. Why she even needs that - this couldn’t fit into his head.

The place brings back memories, and Ash already wants to turn around. It’s oddly empty, he never seen it without some addicts wandering around. Nothing changed. Ash even in the car can almost scent the smell of blood, dirt, and cheap drugs. It’s disgusting.

There’s only one car next to the main entrance. At first glance, it looks empty, but it’s hard to tell since the windows are completely black. As soon as they stop, Sing goes out and walks towards the car to check. It takes less than ten seconds.

“Marion, gun.”

Sing opens the door and a dead body loudly falls on the ground. It’s the driver, with the clear shot in the head. The atmosphere changes completely. Just a minute ago silly mood in Marion’s face is now completely gone. She’s already holding a silver revolver in her hands. And then something else pops into Ash’s head.

“Give me a gun.” He whispers.

Marion thinks for a moment and then takes out a pocketknife.

“Stop fucking with me.”

“Shut up and take it.” She hisses back, the sound cuts the air like a currency. Ash takes a deep breath in, swallowing the rest of the complaints. This is the side of her he still hasn’t seen.

“I’m going inside through the main entrance. You both take it from the back.” Sing speaks only with his lips and gestures. “Marion, you know the rules…”

“Of course. Let’s go, Ash.” She shows with the head for him to follow.

They get close to the wall but doesn't slow down. Ash tries to push away all the possible thoughts about Eiji being hurt. He realizes there is a possibility. If something happened to him, it'll be Ash’s fault for sure. He failed just a few after they made the promise.

The man tries to push all thoughts away, he must stay focused for time being. If there is someone inside, Ash will have to protect himself and Marion.

“What did Sing had in mind before?” He leans down to her to keep his voice down as possible.

“To keep things less dirty as possible, we have an agreement…” she stops to look at him. “If…”

But before Marion finishes her sentence, they hear someone’s voice. Ash expects English, but they’re talking in Chinese. Marion exhales loudly like she’s so tired of this language and their existence. Ash’s hand slips through when he tries to stop her from moving forward, but Marion’s index finger is already confidently placed on the trigger. She jumps out of the corner. Three shots, then silence.

Ash is in time to see three men falling with the clear headshots. It’s the least concerning question why three members of Chinatown gang were here. Ash can’t believe Marion’s shooting skills. If she would be less asshole, he had praised her. Ash walks in front, so Marion wouldn’t notice his dumb surprised face, passes through the bodies, and stops next to the back door.

“How many bullets you have?” he asks holding the handle.

“There inside, and six more in the pocket.” Marion doesn’t look relieved, maybe she regrets not taking more.

“Let me deal with this, stay behind for the backup.”

Ash lifts his finger when Marion’s face turns blank. She doesn’t like to stay behind someone else back. Ash understands why, but they might need bullets. He could have taken men's gun from the ground, but most likely then he ended up with the hole in the head from Marion. Ash still tried to figure out until what point the clan trusts him. Enough to let him control the business and walk into Eiji’s room, but not enough to give a gun in a deadly situation.

“Ash. If something happens, don’t leave loose ends. If you need to die for him, you do that.” She suddenly grips his wrist.

Better all of them dead than him alone. Supreme power.

“There is no question here. For him, I would do anything.”

Finally, for the first time, she looks happy about his words. Marion grins moving her hair away behind ears and then nods for Ash. The blond man opens the door and walks into the hallway. The light it’s blurry but it’s enough to see shadows. This is the place where they used to come for fights. Usually, until death, to show their dominance, to decide who gets a higher position in this shitty hole. The smell of blood, mud, and rotting bodies is engraved in Ash’s brains so deeply that he can’t understand is it really here or it’s just his imagination.

He stops when someone moves further. Before it comes closer Ash runs first grabs him around the shoulders, covering mouth and slices his throat. Was he too loud or it's a trap? Suddenly Ash is knocked down by someone from the side on the dirty floor, but he’s just in time to grab man’s legs and pull him down together. The fight is short as Ash pushes himself up with the hand, turns around and stabs. Someone grabs him from behind, and Ash groans.

“Head down,” Marion commands.

Ash listens to the voice, and another shot cross through the air. Weight heavily presses Ash down.

“What the hell…?” he mutters pushing the body away and getting back on his feet. “Why Chinatown would try to take over something that belongs to Okumura?”

“It’s not Chinatown… it’s Lee.” Marion answers holding her hand to the wall. Ash didn’t even notice when he put on those black leather gloves.

_Lee in New York? Why would they be here?_ Most likely they have more than one branch as well. It can’t be a coincidence. Lee’s name brings back the sickness to the stomach. And just now Ash realizes that it’s not the place that makes him sick, but the fact that he still can’t find Eiji.

They keep to the inner wall and meet a few more random people whose face Ash doesn't try to see. It’s hard to admit but working with Marion is easy. She’s silent and doesn’t miss. Ash hates himself for admitting this. For realizing that he can’t find out her weak side.

“You know, white ass, maybe you’re not that pathetic as I thought before.”

“Am I dreaming or is that a compliment?” Ash glimpse at her.

“You wish, jerk.”

_Here we go again. _

When they finally reach the door, Marion has only three bullets left in total, Ash’s wrist hurts from using the knife, fingers shiver. He doesn’t have any clue how dirty he looks now, but Marion is as clean as if they been taking a walk in Central Park.

The door is locked. Inside hide rooms which were used by those who survived in the Pit the longest. Ash also stayed here at the end. He hated to admit that he knew this building this well. These doors may be locked only from the inside. Someone is there. Ash nods for Marion, and she lifts the gun. No words needed. Ash kicks the wooden door one then the second time, but the lock is stronger than he thought.

“Step aside.” Marion punches him to the side, aims her silver revolver to the lock and shoots.

She shouldn’t waste more bullets, because they don’t have any idea how much more they'll need. But it’s been too long. Ash still tries to keep his mind clear. But he might not be able to think rationally no matter what’s waiting there. Ash kicks the door again and this time they loudly crash open wide.

_Shorter. _

He’s in the middle of the _empty_ room surround by cold walls, holding on his bleeding shoulder, standing just next to the puddle of blood and at least four bodies. Ash’s heart painfully stings. He’s alive. _Here._ Shorter is alive. _Alive._ As much as Ash didn’t even think about meeting him here, he again swallows down all emotions. Think fast.

Shorter opens his mouth a bit and makes a step back. He doesn’t have where to run.

“Wait, Marion!” Ash is just is in time to stop her. One moment longer and Shorter joined those on the ground. “He may know where Eiji is.”

“Do you know him??” She glares at Ash but doesn’t let her gun down.

“I saw him at Lee’s residence. He's important.”

Ash answers with a cold voice, even though the heart is stuck somewhere in the throat. He doesn’t have time to think clearly how to save Shorter, no matter what he’s doing here in New York or the Pit.

Eiji is not here, it means Shorter is not a part of it. Ash doesn’t want to think any other way.

Marion moves through Ash, gets closer to the man. Shorter is armless, restless. It doesn't seem like he has enough strength to fight.

“On the floor.” Marion’s blank face watching the tall man in front doesn’t show any signs of pity.

“Wait… wait… I can explain. It’s—”

“On. The. Floor.”

Marion puts her finger on the trigger, and somehow despite bodies and blood on the floor manages to walk towards Shorter smoothly without moving her eyes away from him. From the side, it might look a bit funny, because even with high heels she barely reaches his shoulders. But Ash is sure – Marion is the most dangerous person in this room.

_Please, Shorter. Please… just do what she says._

“Listen… there is…”

The explosive noise pierces the air and Shorter flinches as the bullet hits the wall just next to his right ear.

“Putain! Are you deaf?!” she aims the gun at his head and loudly exhales. She's barely holding herself back. h

“Okay! okay…” Shorter shutters, kneeling on the floor, slowly leaning forward.

Marion pushes him to move faster with her black neatly polished chunky heel, and Shorter doesn’t resist – after a moment he’s already facing the floor, on his stomach.

Ash stares speechless. He doesn’t have any clue how long Marion will wait before shooting, or if she lets Shorter speak in the first place. As her whole appearance from a rich shirt and jacket, the perfectly tailored black pants, until those hell heels demonstrate full dominance, Ash can’t help just compare her with Eiji. He was the one who taught her – that’s for sure.

Eiji.

“Shit, is there any way to reach Sing? Maybe he got something.”

Ash tries to change the topic because otherwise, this might lead to something nasty. The only reason why Marion hasn’t shoot yet, it’s because she has only two bullets left, and Shorter is obedient.

“We would have reached us if he had. You---”

She pushed the leg harder until Shorter silently groans, but before Marion finishes the sentence the door on the other side, which connects another room, wide open. If that person has the gun either Marion or he’ll fall. Ash's body turns numb after a moment. The knife almost falls off his fingers.

“Boss!” Marion reacts first, somehow managing to give full attention to Shorter and the man.

Eiji’s cast on the wrist is gone, meaning he went to the hospital. Besides that, a clean white shirt, black vest, pants, and jacket - looks like he just stepped out of the magazine cover. Not a single drop of dirt or scratch. Ash without thinking moves towards him.

“It’s me who wanted to come here. Sing and Marion just followed.” He quickly speaks before Marion takes all the pleasure for herself.

Eiji doesn’t even glance at his side, he drops stare at Shorter on the floor then at Marion.

“Where’s Sing?”

“Cleaning the front.” She answers without a further explanation.

Just like he wants it to be. No questions only information he asked for. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why she’s the boss’s favorite.

“Will you deal here? I’m taking Lynx.” Eiji waits until she energetically nods as if he suggested a candy.

“But---”

“Quiet.” She shuts Shorter giving him even more pressure with her feet. This might worse than being shot into the back.

Eiji turns to leave and Ash follows, without giving Shorter another look. They don’t close the door, so Ash can’t speak at first He feels forced to walk in silence only watching at Eiji’s back. They go through the bodies, but Ash doesn’t count them. No blood, no sign of shooting. Their death was fast and silent, just like this man in front.

“Eiji.”

Ash suddenly grabs his hand before they leave the third room and enter the main hallway. Just when cold sweat runs through Ash's spine and it feels like someone is strangling him again Ash comes back to his senses. How scared he was from that moment when they saw that the driver was killed.

Eiji doesn’t move. His fingers are so cold.

“I’m sorry for tonight. I should have left when you told me. I still… I still don’t know so many things about you.” Ash swallows the pity for himself. “Just don’t… don’t turn away from me again.” He can’t tell him how worried he was. He can’t bring it to words how scared Ash feels that Eiji’s will lockdown again.

Eiji finally looks back at him. His hair is a bit more messy than usual. He’s not wearing any earrings or other accessories again, except for the family ring and Ash feels it as he grips Eiji’s hand harder. Ash leans in himself and closes eyes when Eiji’s lips touch the skin on his neck. If he bites, if he decides to rip his throat here and now, Ash wouldn’t mind. But his cold lips bring peace.

“Would you do anything for me?” Eiji’s question melts inside him and slowly spreads like magma. It’s the courage, the confidence, the unbreakable truth.

“I would. For you.”

He moves back, leaving his presence on Ash. Eiji doesn’t know how to show his emotions, he just knows how to control, how to take… how to possess Ash’s soul.

“I’m so glad you’re safe… Eiji.”

Ash doesn’t expect the answer and he doesn’t get one, but he needed him to know. Even though it doesn’t seem that Eiji was in any kind of danger. Marion was right, he can protect himself. Eiji doesn’t need anyone to be his shield. And still.

Eiji’s fingers slide through Ash’s hand as he opens the door. The hallway is empty, but Ash can hear voices from far away. Ash wants to step in front, but Eiji stops him. They stand against the wall in the shadow and the voices are coming closer and closer. They seem nervous, steps are fast. Ash doesn’t understand a word, but it only confirms that this place is fully corrupted by Lee clan.

He and Eiji move at the same time, Ash takes the one further, he grabs on his shoulder with the left hand, kicks him in the stomach and pierces his throat with the knife. The man inhales loudly before turning into the stone. Ash lets him go. Eiji is already done with his, the enemy is lying on the ground without any signs of life – broken neck. There was no sound, no unnecessary movements. Eiji isn't just quick, he's the perfect assassin. How many times he had a chance to kill Ash like that. _But didn’t._

Eiji continues walking further calmly and Ash's head hurts from those hundred questions on the tip of his tongue.

“Boss!!” they hear Sing's loud voice as he’s running towards them looking like a mess. His costume is ripped in some parts, lip bleeding. “Sir, the front is clean, but some are still hiding… you should stay…”

“Sing. Shut up. I’m in a bad mood.”

Sing flinches, and then quickly stretches his back like a loyal dog.

“Inside the first room find Marion with Wong. Bring him to the car and tell Marion to come here.”

Sing runs through them quickly into shadows, Ash and Eiji continue walking. Sing is always following Eiji’s orders, like everyone else, but for the first time, Ash saw him almost terrified. At the end of the hallway, Eiji stops and takes off his jacket, then rolls up his sleeves.

“You go across the hall to exist.” Of course, it’s not a request.

“Eiji. No. I’m not running away while you go and fight, it doesn’t even make sense.” Ash protests despite the vibe. He should keep mouth shut, like always. But since yesterday things are _not like always_.

“Boss! I’m here!” Neither with her voice nor steps, Marion tries to slow down anymore.

“Do you have explosives?”

“Yup!” she jumps in the spot with the widest smile Ash has seen until now. “Watch and learn, white ass.”

Now Ash understood why she brought the bag with her. It's not because of fashion.

“Three minutes.”

“Like always! Lynx, take the gun, there is one bullet though. I used one on that egg.” She hands him the revolver.

_Shorter?_

Marion takes some square small but heavy-looking packages from her bag and gives half to Eiji, then throws the bag on the floor. Ash knows his position here. He’s the bait until they are taking care of setting the explosives.

He has only one bullet so it’s useless. Ash looks at Eiji and runs out first towards the exist. At the same time leftovers that Sing was talking about show up. Pure luck that Ash doesn’t get hit by bullets. With the corner of his eye, Ash notices how Eiji grabs with one hand on the handrail and jumps over it to reach the second floor faster. Ash is not sure where Marion ran.

Ash slides through the slippery floor covered in dirt and blood - typical carpet in the pit - then runs towards men in front. They foolishly miss all their shots and as soon as Ash reaches them it’s over. The fight is not even that intense. They’re dead and Ash now has three guns. He quickly checks cylinders to count the bullets. The rest fall much faster since Ash doesn’t need to come closer.

The moment after everything is over Marion appears from the other side, she walks towards Ash with no rush.

“Where’s boss?”

“He’s still…”

“Marion!”

His voice suddenly calls them from upstairs. Eiji appears with someone and they both dangerously lean over the handrail while fighting. Marion grabs her revolver from Ash’s hand, aims, and without any hesitation shoots the last bullet Ash didn't use.

Eiji pushes the body away from himself and then walks down, with the pale face. He’s holding on his wrist, pressing lips into a narrow line from the pain. It was broken not so long ago. He must have moved it too quickly.

Ash still hears Eiji shouting Marion’s name, not his. He shouldn’t bother himself too much, but something is scratching. Something strong saying that he’ll never be enough for him. They’ll never become someone so close and yesterday was nothing more than a moment of weakness.

They're outside. Ash keeps his distance. Sing is waiting next to the car and Shorter seems fine, even though he’s kneeling on the ground like he’s about to get shot in the head. Eiji gets inside the car without giving him a second glance.

“What will you do with him?” Ash makes a passive voice like he wouldn’t give a single shit.

“Taking together, I guess. Get in the trunk.” Sing commands, opening it.

“I… I won’t fit.” Shorter is still kneeling, lifting his eyes to the tiny spice.

“You’ll after I break all your bones. Get in the fuck---”

Ash doesn’t listen till the end to Marion’s hissing. He sees the hand inviting him inside the car and everything disappears. They won’t shoot Shorter, because that Eiji’s didn't give an order. Shorter for now is safe, even if Ash still doesn’t have any clue what’s going on.

He gets inside, closes the door, and takes Eiji’s hand into his.

“Are you okay?” he leaves the whisper close to Eiji’s skin, but with no response. “If you don’t talk with me, Eiji… I can’t… I can’t know…”

“I want to....” He grips Ash fingers harder, forehead bumps into his shoulder.

Eiji’s voice has changed. It’s softer, a bit more tender, he never talks like this way before. Only yesterday at night. Only with Ash and that lights a small sparkle inside his chest. Ash tries. He tries so hard to understand Eiji, but with him changing all the time it’s challenging. Ash is aware that Eiji can’t show weakness in front of others.

With this note front door from both sides opens. Marion with Sing gets in. Ash didn’t hear a shotgun it means Shorter is packed in the trunk. Eiji is already sitting straight, he rolls sleeves down, covering tattoo on the right arm.

“Boss, not sure if it’s safe to go back to the residence right now. I suggest going somewhere where no one would search for you. At least for a couple of hours.” Sing makes a pause. “Sir?”

“Take us to Alex’s place. No one will search us there for sure. I’m not even sure they will understand what’s happening.”

After Ash's suggestion Sing still waits, staring at Eiji through the mirror. He gives almost an invisible nod and Sing starts the car. Marion takes out her phone.

“Three minutes, Sing.”

“I should have taken another car.” He sighs, as the car moves from the spot.

Moving doesn’t fit as the vehicle shoots forward like a bullet, Sing quickly changes gears as they drive faster and faster away. Even when they reach the street Sing doesn’t stop, they cross the red light and drive as there is no tomorrow. A few blocks more and Sing slows down only when they mix with other cars.

Marion opens the window, looking through it with a childish smile.

“Boom.”

They are far enough, but the explosion hits so hard that some cars immediately stop. Ash feels how everything trembles. It’s so loud that he’s sure it'll drag everyone’s attention. Ash takes a deep breath, realizing that it was their plan, to drag everyone’s attention to that place. They destroyed the Pit and made sure that the police find out about it as soon as possible. At the same focusing the investigation on the wrong party.

“Wooo! Cool!” Marion laughs closing the window, Sing’s face is plain, certainly, he doesn’t like explosions. “Like old times, right, boss?” Marion looks over the seat at him, but then her excitement splashes like a balloon when she realizes who's she talking to. “I mean…”

“Yes, almost the same, my girl.”

_My girl???_

Marion turns her head back to the road, but Ash sees her smiling with a slight blush. Sing puts his sunglasses on trying to hide the smile by pressing lips together hard.

_My girl? _

Ash looks at Eiji but his head is turned away at the window. Then he feels a tender touch on his hand. It’s Eiji’s pinky, brushing over his skin.

He tried.

Sing stops the car next to the other ones and gets out first to open the door for Eiji. Ash does the same from his side and opens the door for Marion.

“Oh, what’s that? What do you want?” she lifts eyebrows in surprise.

“I want to talk with you later about boss.”

“You’ll need more than open the door for me.” Marion gets out with a bitch resting face. “Jealous?”

“I can push you back in.” Ash hisses at her but Marion’s expression doesn’t change.

“Hey, you two!”

After Sing’s shouting Ash turns away from that small monster. Something tells him he won’t get the information so easily. If it wasn’t Marion it wouldn’t be that hard. But only her existence and bitchy character complicate everything.

“How about him?” they were already next to the door when Ash decides that no will remember about Shorter suffocating in the trunk if he doesn’t tell anything.

“Oh, I forgot.” Marion honestly looks surprised.

“Take him with us, I don’t need him dead. Yet.”

The last added word makes Ash sting. Of course, Eiji plans to kill Shorter how else. Why would he need him in the first place if not for the information? The thought of Shorter being tortured and then killed makes Ash sick. He still has time to think of something, but nothing comes to his mind. He could help him escape somehow. _Then what?_

“Ash?? What the hell?”

“What?” he’s pushed out from his thoughts

“What _what_, open the freaking door.” Sing sighs loudly. He’s losing the last crumbs of the patient.

Ash is the only one who has the key to this place. Lucky for him, Marion is gone to take Shorter out, so she misses the chance to laugh from Ash. He opens the door holds it for Eiji, but Sing shakes his head.

“You first. Lead to the meeting room.”

Ash enters, after him Eiji and then he hears loud Shorter’s groan but doesn’t look back to see what they're doing to him. It’s almost midday, like always. Most of them are at home because deals go after the dark.

“Hey, everyone.” Ash waves for the rest of the team. Like on purpose they happened to come in the middle of the meeting.

“Ash you’re lat—”

Alex doesn’t finish the sentence when he sees that he’s not alone. Everyone else stares in silence.

“They’re a part of the team from Japan, we need to crash here for a bit.”

“And also lock this egg somewhere. Do you have handcuffs?”

First no once notices Marion, because she's standing in the back behind Shorter's back else. Alex stands up immediately.

“Okay, the meeting is over. Go out.” He makes a pause. “Skip, bring me handcuffs.”

Alex doesn’t need to repeat twice, everyone stands up like one and leaves without even glimpsing at Eiji next to Sing. They don’t have any idea who he is. They have never seen the Boss before. That’s why the idea to come here was perfect. If only they knew… Ash tries to imagine but can't.

“Sit down.” Marion pushes Shorter through them. Considering their height difference Ash is sure that Shorter doesn't feel anything, but he moves forward and sits with his head let down, without saying a word.

“Miss Okumura, do you need anything else?”

Ash almost opens his mouth, but somehow remains calm. Alex knows who she is. Ash doesn’t have a clue how, but one of the things is for sure - Marion feels like a fish in the water.

“No, just bring the handcuffs and leave us alone.”

Alex nods, but his quick glance at Ash gives out that they need to talk as soon as possible.

“Got them!” Skipper runs back in with the handcuffs. “You brought your girlfriend again, Ash, huh?”

“Skip!” Alex shuts him taking away the handcuffs from him. Ash quickly grabs on his hand and they go out.

“She. Is. Not. My. Girlfriend.” Ash buzzes dragging him to the kitchen as far from meeting room as possible.

“Right. But you look cool together.”

“No. Skip.” Ash closes the door and is about to give him a lecture, but Alex runs inside and grasps on Ash’s sweater, pushes him against the wall.

“What the hell?? How you… come inside covered in bloodstains, with a Chinese hostage, some random clan members, AND Okumura Marion without telling me first??”

“I’m surprised you know who she is. Let me go, Alex… seriously.” Ash pushes his hand away. He does but still stands close.

“The tattoo she showed us yesterday, only high-ranking members can have more than a clan mark. After that, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots, because she’s the only girl in the clan.”

_Fun to learn something new._

“Marion? I haven’t heard about her… who’s she?” Skip turns his head with curiosity.

“Miss Okumura for you. Go back to your room, Skip. I need to talk with Ash.” Alex glares at him, and even Skipper's big eyes don’t make him change opinion.

“It’s not faaaair, I also want to know. Why it’s always like that?” Skipper whines, but since Alex doesn’t let his eyes down, he leaves and loudly shuts the door.

“Speak Ash, or I swear to God… you already made me look like a fool in front of them. And this is my team and you work for me. Do you understand?” he pokes Ash’s chest with a finger the blond man slowly nods.

“How much do you know about her?”

“Besides, that she works alongside with Boss? Is there anything else I should know? She is practically a legend, most of our men don’t even know about her. Ash do you realize… she is like closes to the boss you can get. What she is doing here?” he makes a pause, when Ash doesn’t say anything else. “Who is the hostage? Who are two others?”

“Well…” Ash smoothly moves to the side and walks around him and leans against the table. Alex has a right to know. “It’s him. Then Sing, the bodyguard, and Lee’s man that we took as a hostage.”

“Him who?”

“You know… boss.”

Alex laughs.

“What do you mean boss?” he’s still giggling from this absurd. “Ash?”

The doors open, Marion glares at Ash as she is about to kill him.

“Hey, where do you think you went? Go back, boss wants to talk with everyone.” Then she lifts eyes at Alex, who is already holding on the table, almost fainting, and smiles for him. “Make sure no one disturbs us, okay?”

“Do you like Alex because he called you Miss?” Ash asks after leaving the kitchen. Poor Alex who must be questioning his existence. “How did you even find me?”

“The kid told me.” She frowns. “And you stink.”

Ash only rolls his eyes. He already passed a few mirrors - he knows. And there was nothing more than shower he wants now. And talk with Eiji, but without this brat around. Head feels heavy, because of this situation and Shorter, who Ash somehow must save.

“The white ass is here, boss” Marion opens the door dramatically. Ash does his best to keep the face still even though his eye is almost twitching.

“Marion, I need a meeting after an hour at the usual place. Call Ibe and Blanca only. It’s urgent. I don’t care about their excuses.” Eiji is standing near the window, arms crossed on the chest looking at the lonely street.

“How about… Arthur…?” she asks carefully.

They all see the shadow that runs through Eiji’s face after her words. He doesn’t intend to answer, and Marion for the first time looks embarrassed. She moves hair behind her right ear, dark eyes pinned to the floor, warm tan skin blush through all face.

“Sing, bring Wong to the residence, make sure someone looks at his shoulder.” Eiji continues giving orders with a monotonous voice like his head would be busy with something else.

“Should I… look him in the cell, Sir?” Sing frowns. It seems for everyone this situation is more than weird.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” Eiji deeply exhales and then turns head at Ash. “You stay with me here.”

Ash instinctively nods, but this time not because of obligation. The sound is different. It’s softer, a bit lower with a hint of desperate call. Ash is sure he’s not the only one who heard it – how Eiji’s voice changed for him.

Marion opens the door kicking Ash’s leg on purpose for the second time today. Sing points gun at Shorter and he gets up without a request. Before he leaves through the door, Ash is sure that Shorter glares at him, but Ash doesn't move.

_He’s safe. He’s safe for now._

“I’ll come to pick you up, boss.” Sing closes the door after. Ash is not sure, but he possibly heard how Marion screamed something in the hallway - a split moment before the door shut.

“Eiji…” Ash sighs coming closer, and since the man doesn’t do anything to stop him, he reaches for his cheek. Skin is soft like always, so pleasant to touch. “Are you okay?”

Not moving his eyes away, Eiji lifts hand and brushes over Ash’s neck with fingertips. It does hurt, and throat is itching, but Eiji's touch is like a high-quality drug, wiping every other feeling away. Ash knows he’s in trouble, because of how badly he’s obsessed. That’s the only word he can find to describe his emotions.

“I don’t know… I don’t…”

Eiji quietly shivers. He tries to say something more, but it’s not easy for him to open. Ash wants to be with him, he wants to know everything, but at the same time pressure won’t help.

Ash leans in still holding Eiji’s face in his palm, softly brushing his cheek with the thumb. Closer he gets, harder becomes to resist.

“It’s okay not to know… it’s okay.” Ash softly melts the kiss on Eiji’s lips. He can’t let hopes to raise, but it’s not something he’s in control with. This irresistible force between them just keeps pushing him back into the craziest decisions.

Eiji answers slowly, like a hurt animal feeling gentle hands for the first time in years. He’s not sure, but at the same doesn’t want this to stop. To be accepted by him, to get close to Eiji’s wounds and understand him. Ash knows it’s still far, a whole ocean of toxic water dragging him down. But once Eiji’s lips move in response and he wraps both hands around Ash’s neck, locking him inside the cage – there’s a hope that they might pull this out together. Ash doesn’t want to think about the future, because he only has now.

“You’re good at this…” Ash grins leaving the last touch of the lips a bit longer than rest and then moving back.

“I’m good at everything.” Eiji doesn’t seem confused even for a second. “Where are showers here?”

“Oh.” Ash blinks, it seems that the delicate moment is over. Eiji is not that clingy. “I guess you can use the one in my and Skipper’s room. I can give you some of my clothes.”

“Marion won’t like that, but I guess there is no choice.” Eiji sighs, showing Ash to move forward.

Ash honestly can’t begin to understand what’s wrong with the choice of his clothes. He opens the door and lets Eiji go first.

“The meeting… what is it about? What happened in the pit, Eiji?” he asks going through the hallway next to him. Ash won’t lie, the feeling is strange not to be behind his back, but to walk close.

“I just want to take a shower now. Is that much to ask?” he sighs completely closing the topic, but eyes seem far away lost, Ash doesn’t ask anymore.

“Hey, Ash!” someone shouts from the other side of the hallway and steps quickly reach them both. It’s one of the members responsible for working on the same clients with Ash. He ignores Eiji completely. “Are you in tonight for a beer? We might finish this huge deal and---”

“He’s busy tonight.” Eiji cuts, the man shivers from the tone, but a moment after snaps back.

“And who are you again, boy?” he frowns staring at Eiji with his chin up.

“No!” Ash quickly interrupts before something else happens. “No. I can’t. Catch you later.” Ash gently lays hand on Eiji’s arm and he moves, without saying anything else.

“Everything here belongs to me and yet I’m the stranger.”

Ash is not sure what to answer. No one knows how Eiji looks like. Ash is sure, that some of the members might think that boss is just a concept, an illusion. Sometimes he did wonder why Eiji doesn’t let his superiority spread into every corner. The power that he’s holding is beyond everything and yet, some of his decision doesn’t match the personality at all.

“You know it’s easy to change it. You just had to tell them who you’re.” Ash opens the door to the room. Skipper is not there.

“No. This is how it should be.” Eiji makes a pause evaluating the room then goes towards the shower. “They don’t need to be controlled by fear.”

“Fear. What fear?”

“Me.”

Ash just stares lost. Eiji is aware of the effect he has on others and he’s doing it on purpose. It’s not someone who he’s. It’s something he has become.

“Are you going or not?” he adds and then turns away with the grin.

“Ash…”

Whenever he speaks in this supreme voice it gives him a reason to exist. It’s not the holy wine, it’s his heat corrupting cells, it’s his presence spins this world. It’s him. The beginning and the end of the war in Ash's mind. He's weak. How can one person have so many ways to break inside you. Ash is still searching for a correct word, already for a long time.

“What do you want, Ash?”

The honey melts on the skin, as his lips explore Ash’s opened neck. With every inch of the body, every piece of his being he wants it.

“I want to touch you…” Ash answers knowing that he may be risking. But his rational side gave up as soon as Eiji entered the shower with him.

Eiji lifts his head, water running through his rich dark hair, forehead, cheeks, chin, following the path through sharp collarbone, down the chest, and well-trained abs. He’s divine. Eiji’s lips set into a teasing wink, as he slowly brushes his hair back with long fingers. Pierces Ash with that absolute tension.

Eiji turns around opening the full view, of the dancing red dragon on his back. It shouts and it groans with fire. The view crush Ash’s lungs - drives him insane. Those perfect lines on Eiji’s body have never been so inviting, he never felt such an urge to drink water from him as he does now.

Ash leans forward and breaths hot air into the flame on Eiji’s shoulder. Lips burn. Ash can touch him. Ash can have him all. But for the first time, Ash questions: does he deserve? Something is wrong.

Ash slowly wraps arms around Eiji’s waist, forehead pressed against his neck, lips tasting the glow of his skin.

“I want to know… I want to know you better…”

It sounds like a childish cry because is scared to be pushed back to the shadow. Eiji didn’t give him any guarantees. What if asking to stay was just a despaired moment, what if Eiji doesn’t need him. Ash hates to be questioning it now, but the fact that Eiji doesn’t have any reason to keeping Ash is burning him inside out. He’s so replaceable. First Ash was between the flames trying to figure out his true desires, now he’s in constant fear to do something wrong and destroy what he has. He wants Eiji to feel secure, but Ash doesn’t feel this way himself.

Instead of the answer, Eiji takes Ash’s hands into his and slowly leads them down through his lines shaped in V, he leans back on Ash, pushing himself against his chest, tilting his head back, until Ash’s lips find their way to meet his.

“There’s nothing to know.” He mumbles through the kiss. “Just… let me feel. Nothing else.”

It’s a request from a person, who has spent most of his life in the empty shell. And Ash is sure that their desire is mutual. The way Eiji's breathing gets faster, softly shivering skin against Ash’s body, and his hardness in Ash’s hand. They crave, but they don’t have a bond. _How is it called? Who are they? _Ash opens his eyes, Eiji’s face is soft, but focused, lips a bit open letting out hot steams, as Ash’s hand move faster.

“Eiji…” Ash calls holding him stronger. “Eiji…”

_I want you to be mine. I want you to own you as well. I want you to own me harder. But why you feel so far away even though our bodies are touching in the most intimate way possible? _

He quietly groans, grabbing on Ash’s hips, swinging with his round lower part into Ash’s body. His heart screams in the chest like a drum, his inner screech leave goosebumps. Ash feels his pain, the core of the chaos that he’s carrying alone inside. Eiji moans again, lifts the hand, and grips Ash’s hair hard. Firmer. Ash’s shivers into his body as well. _It hurts._

“Eiji…”

_Still so far away…_

Eiji is sitting on the bed with underwear only, while Ash tries to find him something to wear. It’s harder than he thought, because every time he picks something, he sees Marion’s disgusted face.

“Just have these… jeans might be too long though.”

Ash comes back with a dark green sweater and a pair of black jeans. Eiji’s glare verdict is obvious but he takes them without saying a single word. Ash himself looks like someone who Marion would easily call “acid for my eyes”. It’s just casual clothing. The difference is that Eiji in it still looks like he is promoting some high-quality clothing brand.

Ash can’t hold back from smiling.

“What?”

Eiji had to roll up both sleeves and jeans and Ash’s only now realize their true height difference. Without his perfectly tailored suit or expensive sweaters and jackets, he’s so different. Not a boss of yakuza clan – more like a lost Japanese tourist.

“Nothing… it’s just you look so casual.” Ash is sure that his smile is soft, and eyes are completely in the mist, but he doesn’t mind Eiji to see it.

“You think it fits me?” Eiji looks down at his sleeves. “I used to dress up this casually when---“

The door opens widely, and Skipper jumps in at the worse moment possible. Ash liked that kid, but the fact that he entered now when Eiji is just about to say something about himself, makes Ash want to take that little popcorn and kick him out of his own room.

“That guy from before came back, he said he came to pick you up.” He explains with a strange wink on his face.

“How did you know that we’re here?” Ash cross arms against the chest, but Skipper is still with the same expression. He points his finger at ears and smiles wider.

Ash’s arms drop. He heard them. Eiji, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to care about it. He looks at the youngest member of the clan with a softer look than he ever gave to Ash.

“You were accepted to the clan after your family was killed by the street gang. Alex found you, right? You help to protect children from getting involved in drug deals. Right? Skipper?” Eiji words make both Ash and Skip freeze.

The information is not new. Okumura clan strictly prohibits deals with underage. Ash had some questions before how Skip appeared here, but at the same time knowing could only bring more trouble, and Ash wanted to focus on his main goal, without getting involved with other topics. Even though long ago Eiji did prove that he knows members of the clan, Ash didn’t have any idea how much Eiji knows about each member personally, or if he bothers himself to learn about it in the first place.

“Ho-w…. how do you… know? Only Alex and Blanca know this.” Skip mutters almost scared.

“Sir.” Sing appears behind the Skipper. It takes him a second to realize he’s seeing Eiji and not someone else in that outfit. But also Sing is great at controlling his expressions. “Blanca and Ibe are already waiting.”

Eiji goes first and as he’s passing Skip, he brushes through his shoulder with a finger.

“Bo-ss?” Skip freaks out.

There’s nothing more than a pure fear written all over his face. Finally, Ash understands what Eiji meant. He did it on purpose, so Ash would see what happens if they find out about him. Eiji coming out in the daily light might lead to chaos.

Eiji leaves the room. Ash is about to go after him, but he waits for a moment, ignoring Sing’s face who finally shows to Ash in what bad mess he’ll be because of the boss outfit. It’s not a joke.

“Skipper, could you keep quiet about it, okay? I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you in any way.” Ash leans down to him, but the boy is standing with the frozen face, slowly tears appear in his eyes.

“He knows… me… Ash.” Skipper covers the face.

Many many times they talked about the boss with Skip and Ash never really understood what clan’s members are feeling towards him or do they want to think at all. But maybe it’s not fear after all. Eiji thinks he’s bad, but for them, he’s the only savior.

In the hallway, next to the door there is only Alex. Eijiand Sing are already outside. Alex only shortly nods for Ash, stops him from speaking. Is he angry, or is he in shock? Ash might never find out.

“Sorry,”

He waves before stepping out. For some reason, Ash is feeling responsible. Alex was one of the first who warned about Eiji, and everything ended up this way. Ash hid the truth for him, he has no excuse.

This time Sing came with another guard and one more car. Ash is sure that it’s because of what happened before. Sing will do anything from letting repeat that again. Even though it technically wasn’t his fault, and they still don’t know what actually occurred. What Eiji was doing in the pit in the first place?

Ash’s biggest concern right now is waiting for them next to the high building. Ash has been here. Once. That time he got beaten. That time he lied Eiji about revenge for Lee clan and still doesn’t have any idea how he’ll deal with it. Especially since they have Shorter - Ash’s only source of information. On the other hand, Eiji never seemed to care what Ash knew about Lee’s.

“No!” scream wakes Ash up from staring at the street. Marion is standing halted to ground, staring at Eiji like he would be deadly wounded. “What… what happened? What is this? What kind of material is this thing made of??” she flies to Eiji in a second. “You…” then she slowly turns at Ash. “Who the hell think you’re?”

“Well, as I see you changed clothes, so you could have brought him something as well.” Ash sarcastically grins at her, not paying attention to Sing’s loud coughing.

“Of course, I did! But the fact you put him in this!!”

“Marion.” Eiji always ignores everything around him, unless it’s necessary, so no wonder Marion looks at him in surprise. Ash almost expects to see her blushing again from shame.

“It’s just… I don’t….”

_“Pardonne-moi…”_

He looks down at her, reaches her shoulder, and lays the hand on the leather jacket. For one second Marion seems startled. She even glances at Sing and then at Ash, but nothing happens.

_“Pour…?”_ she asks lifting her eyes to the man.

_“Pour t'avoir repoussé.”_

Ash doesn’t have any clue what’s going on, neither does Sing or any other guard around them. And no one has a right to disturb or ask.

_“Ah… ça fait mal oui mais... t'avais tes raisons... probablement_…” Marion struggles to pick words in her mother's language. It’s so obvious that whatever topic it’s, it's hard to talk about it for her. Marion even looks away, but Eiji doesn’t let his hand down.

_“C'est pour ça que es restée?” _

Eiji's voice is calm, quiet but warmer as if they were talking about some daily stuff. It might be it, but it doesn't explain French. Ash wants to believe that it’s not something he should be concerned about.

_“Entre autres, ouais.” _

To see Marion smiling so sadly is strange. Ash still doesn’t know everything about their relationship. But it's strong. Eiji knows what to say, he knows how to make her glow or worry. He also knows how to make her smile. Ash doesn’t see any toxic vibe here. And he's envious. Not sure of what exactly, but only the feeling that they both give out together. Ash is This tranquility. Trust.

Eiji waits more than a few moments before speaking. Odd pause. But it doesn’t look like he can’t find words. He's just thinking. Finally, let’s his hand down and exhales before answering.

_“C'était injuste... j'ai été injuste envers toi.”_

After this sentence, Marion quickly looks back at Eiji like hearing something she wasn't waiting for. Her lips slightly open, and the way she suddenly hugs her waist, shows that she’s barely holding back from jumping on the person in front. Marion doesn’t say anything back. She can’t or she doesn’t want to - Ash can’t tell. Just like he can’t tell what just changed. But it must be big.

“Stay after the meeting,” Eiji adds and then passes her by. Sing and the rest of the guards follow him after, while Marion and Ash stay outside.

“Is everything okay?” Ash wonders, but at the same time already prepares to get teased.

“I think so…” she sighs. “He just, like always, caught me off the guard.” Marion keeps a sad smile on her face. “Go inside, I’ll come after I smoke.”

The sign that she wants to stay alone for a bit was clear enough.

“And Ash?”

“What?” he looks over the shoulder, as she lightens her cigarette.

“If you dress him again, I’ll end you. No joke.”

Ash turns away from her with an empty face, but as soon as she can’t see, smiles honestly and is sure that he hears her quiet laugh as well.

Ash doesn’t know what kind of role he’s playing in this clan anymore, but here he is sitting among the highest-ranking members in the meeting. Even Sing stays outside the room. Of course, Ash has talked with Blanca and Ibe before, but they never ended up in the same in the meeting together. Marion, of course, forced Eiji to change into a classy outfit and she seems proud of herself. Ash wants to ask her to return his clothes, but he has a strong feeling that they are already in the trash bin.

“Sir, you… destroyed the Pit.” Blanca starts almost at the same moment as Eiji sits down and Marion shuts the door.

“I made it and I destroyed it. It’s not necessary anymore.”

“Sir… with all respect. We had the Pit to distract the police’s attention… and now…” Blanca continues, leaning forward. He’s calm as always, but New York was his territory. Ash understands why he wants answers.

“Eiji, are you planning to get rid of New York Branch or move it somewhere else?” this time Ibe speaks.

“This Branch as a tool for an international relationship. I don’t intend to destroy the system, the business is going well. There is no need for changes. At least now. We’re safe from the police and you know it. Just because you’ll have to be more careful with management doesn’t change anything. Or you have something more important to do?” Eiji points his eyes at Blanca.

“But the Pit…”

“There is no more Pit. That’s it, Blanca.” He cuts closing eyes and Blanca also shuts his mouth.

Blanca doesn’t agree with Eiji, Ash sees how he leans forward, inhales, eyes are ready to fight, but he can’t. Blanca knows the best what kind of impact this will have on their security system and that what makes him bitter. He’ll have to deal with it alone.

“The reason why I called you today is to vote for Shorter Wong’s destiny as in becoming a member of the clan.”

“Who?” Blanca blinks. “Who is he? Wait… Wong…”

“Boss, you must be joking. That egg??” Marion laughs then quickly shakes her head like she couldn’t believe what she’s hearing. “Yes, ojii-san, he’s from Lee clan. We took him today from the Pit as a hostage.”

“He’s not a hostage,” Ibe adds. “You had a meeting with him in the Pit.”

“Ibe, you knew about this…” Blanca exhales covering his face for a moment, then turns at Marion. “Don’t call me ojii-san, brat, how many times I have to tell you.”

But Marion doesn’t seem to hear Blanca, she waves next to her ear like trying to get rid of an annoying bug, before speaking.

“You didn’t tell me anything… why Ibe is the only one to know about this?”

Marion or any of them doesn’t try to be modest towards Eiji now. In this room, there are almost equal. That’s where they decide about every important business. Five of them, now for, since Arthur is not here. Even if Eiji is their boss, without his team he wouldn’t be the same.

“That’s why we’re holding this meeting.”

“Okay, then what white ass is doing here?” Marion continues staring suspiciously.

“Today he’ll replace Arthur’s vote until we decide what to do.” Eiji looks at him taking a long pause, but Ash feels like he lost his tongue. He didn’t ask for this, but somehow it finally happened. “Is that okay with you?” Eiji insists him speaking for the first time.

“Of course.” Ash nods and Marion gives up. Blanca’s face is still suspicious, but Ibe is calm. He’s perfectly aware of the reasons. Ash already knew how close Ibe and Eiji are.

“I reached out for Wong just after I was released from the hospital. Since then he’s spying for me on Lee. Since then I know that Arthur and Foxx work for Lee as well.”

The silence at the table is way too suspensive. The traitor from inside. Blanca looks at his hands on the table, Ibe leans backs in the seat and of course, Marion is the one who doesn’t hold back first.

“Why are you all surprised about?” she rolls eyes shrugging. “He had traitor written all over his face. And Foxx? Why he’s even in the clan? Arthur chose him and you agreed, boss.”

“We’re not surprised about him betraying the clan. I think the most shocking fact is him finally coming to the daylight.” Blanca looks at Eiji, waiting for him to agree with the obvious.

“Having him under my feet, holding so close as second in command, where I can watch his every step, was a great way to control. I thought I had a little bit more time to use him against Lees. Going to Lee’s residence and not taking him was a part of this plan. On the other hand, the plane crash wasn’t. And Arthur took the best time to use this. So obvious of him. At least he was not able to control both Japan’s and this branch at the same time.” Eiji lifts his finger when Blanca wants to say something and continues after a short pause. “I pretended to be in worse shape than I was, to see what Arthur will do next. I’m not sure when or how he found out that Wong works for me, but since then Wong was hiding in the Pit. After the last cleaning, he was there alone. Today we supposed to have a meeting, but Lee’s trash came in. Surely it was Arthur’s doing, no one else is this dumb to attack me in my territory.”

Eiji lets his hand down allowing them to speak, but it doesn’t seem that anyone else has what to say. Ash waits, he still tries to proceed with everything. Especially the part where Eiji said he was only pretending he’s in a bad shape. But Ash saw a different situation yesterday, he would never say that Eiji was pretending. It’s impossible. Ash felt. Or was it all just an act?

“How…” Ash starts and all four of them stabs him with a glare. “How do you know that we can trust Wong?”

“Ash, you’re doubting my decisions?” Eiji questions with a cold face. Indeed, his question was wrong, no one else dared to suspect Eiji.

Ash's gets stiff, but not because of Eiji’s words. His hand suddenly appears on Ash’s thigh, and he squeezes fingers so hard, that Ash barely is holding from the moan. He tries to clean his throat and slowly shakes the head.

“No.” Ash answers, looking right into his eyes, Eiji’s sharp face doesn’t change. But his fingers are playing differently. They slide up making Ash stretch his back and put a dumb smile on his face.

“You look like someone hit your face with a rock.” Marion puts her usual grin on the face, killing Ash with her teasing stare. "Or no, you're always like that.

Ash wants to reply and that a gnome should keep its mouth shut, but he can’t open the mouth.

“So, the question is? Do we want to keep Wong, or should we get rid of him?” Ibe tries to continue the conversation as nothing happened.

“He was useful, but I’m not sure we need him in the clan. I have another idea of how to provoke Arthur.”

Eiji moves his hand away, just before reaching Ash’s crotch. Somehow, he was able to avoid the disaster. The leg is twitching, but Ash got himself together before giving Marion another reason to haunt him for the rest of his life.

“I say we don’t need him. Chop his head, I barely held back from doing it myself. Annoying.” Marion speaks without any doubt in her voice, an emotionless face.

“I’ll agree with the brat this time, it’s not the time for new members. We already have too much work. Also reducing the amount of the members sounds like a good solution now. We should work with as small teams as possible.” Blanca nods for Marion.

And even if she does frown after him calling her a brat, by the end seems happy with Blanca’s words.

“We're not here to discuss cutting current members, Blanca." Ibe reminds him. "In my opinion, Wong boy should stay, since he already risked life for Eiji and the clan. Loyal members are important. We could keep him under Sing’s watch for now. That kid won’t think twice before pressing the trigger.” Ibe, on the other hand, gets a glare from the girl next to him.

“Loyal? Who tells he’s loyal?” she hisses.

“That’s why I tell you to keep him under Sing’s watch for the time being. Or maybe yours? How about we make him your bodyguard?”

“What? I don’t need a freaking bodyguard!” Marion screeches like a triggered cat. “Unless it means I can kill him anytime he looks at me the way I don’t like.”

“Maybe not then.” Ibe giggles.

“I’ll stay on Ibe’s side this time. Only because I want to let Ash decide it.” Eiji on purpose speaks first to put all the pressure on Ash’s shoulder.

It’s a test, there’s no other explanation. Ash is not sure how many tests he already passed. He may have failed already one. Eiji’s way to let people closer it’s brutal and unfair.

“Kill him. I still can’t forget what happened in Lee's residence and I don’t trust him.” He answers as fast as he can, but it’s impossible to tell what’s going on inside Eiji’s head. But at least once Marion looks delighted with Ash’s speaking.

“Okay, then it’s decided. Ibe, you must go back to Osaka today. I’ll start moving more between both. Blanca, I know you still want to complain about the Pit, so today during the dinner is fine.” Eiji looks directly at the man, and Blanca finally nods with a little grin. “Ash, go with Sing and help him deal with Wong. He knows what to do.”

Everyone gets up except for Marion. Ash remembers Eiji saying that he wants to talk with her and some part of him expected that he can be a part of that conversation. But saving Shorter now it’s more important. He’ll have to come up with something quick.

“And, Ash?” Eiji shows him with the hand to come back.

“Yes.”

He stops next to Eiji’s chair, for some reason heart is pounding. What if he changed mind and Ash can’t go to see Shorter with Sing? It’s all over.

Eiji suddenly grabs Ash’s on the sweater, forces to lean in, and leaves a fast kiss on his lips. Ash’s emotions fully reflect in his eyes, and Marion is the one who gasps for him, she almost lays on the table to get closer to Eiji staring at him so tense that even Ash feels uncomfortable.

“See you later” Ash mutters clearing his throat and leaves the room.

“So, for how long?” Blanca looks forward, but the question is of course dedicated to Ash.

“A while…” Ash admits. No matter what Eiji thinks, Ash counts all times with him from the very start.

“I’ll kill you if you hurt him.” Blanca glares at the blond man and then leaves. Ibe only waves. Almost apologetic.

“Ooops.” Sing giggles. “They are all very protective towards boss. Blanca like Ibe has been around him from early childhood.”

“How about Marion?”

“Well yeah, but she’s like that with everyone who gets close to boss. Don’t worry.” Sing pats Ash’s back. “But let me tell you, that she has a special treatment for you.”

“Wow, how lucky I am. She’s a little troll. What she can possibly do.”

Marion is his last worry now.

“In the clan, the word power is more important than the action usually. And she has most of us wrapped around her finger.” Sing smiles. “She’s not a bad person, Ash. Just possessive to someone she holds dear. Aren’t you the same now?”

“Shut up, Sing. Seriously. You suddenly speak too much.”

Ash rolls his eyes and moves first. After giving orders to other guards Sing catches with Ash fast. Sing is at least a head taller and sometimes it’s annoying. _Is this how Marion feels with everyone?_

“So… we’ll bring him to some empty place or what?” Ash dares to ask only when they are halfway to the residence. Stomachache every minute gets stronger and stronger, also might be because he hasn’t eaten anything today. On the other hand, any type of food would go out.

“What? Why? We’ll bring him to the artist that works for the clan.” Sing frowns but doesn’t move his eyes from the road.

“What do you mean… artist?”

“Tattoo artist, of course, he’s getting clan tattoo.” Sing takes a turn, to another block, when Ash doesn’t answer anything finally glances at him. “Hey, what’s up?”

“We… wait, what? This is not how we decided at the meeting.” Everything inside flips even worse. Ash doesn’t know what kind of expression he’s making now, and he doesn’t care.

“Maybe, but that’s what the boss told me, even before meeting. His voice is last and supreme. You know, he likes to hear opinions, but usually still follows his own.”

Ash falls deeply into the seat while looking in front. He knew it. He knew it so well, that no matter what kind of decision they will make, Eiji’s word is the last. He wasn’t planning on killing Shorter from the start and Ash almost fell for it. Like always that man thinks one step further.

“What is it? Wanted to kill him that badly?” Sing chuckles, looking at Ash’s through the mirror.

“Just surprised how he’s managed to play with our brain. What else he’s not saying?”

That’s a rhetorical question. No one knows the answer. Ash covers his mouth smiling in the palm, he doesn’t know the reason for all of it yet and it ends are still loosen, but the heart is lighter. At least, for now, Shorter’s life is not at the risk. What the hell he’s doing in Okumura clan is another question.

Shorter is waiting for them at the entrance with the two guards by his side. They still don’t trust him enough to leave alone, but he’s wearing clean clothes, not a scratch. His start is way smoother than Ash’s. One of the guards opens the door for him. As soon as he’s inside, Sing starts driving again.

“So, Wong…”

“Shorter. Shorter is fine.” He interrupts, but the voice is so modest that Ash just barely holds back from checking up is it really him.

“Shorter, right. You’ll be working with me from now on. As you’re fully on my watch just try to look at the wrong side and you gonna end it right there. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Shorter answers immediately, but Ash feels his eyes pointed at him. “Are you… also a bodyguard?”

_Smooth, Shorter._

“None of your business,” Ash mutters. Funny, he’s not sure what kind of position he has in the clan. As for this moment, he’s been around everywhere where they wanted to use him.

“I’m sorry.” Shorter clears his throat and after doesn’t say a word. Not like Ash, he knows when to keep his mouth shut.

_He might be alright._

The salon is empty for obvious reasons, and only tattoo artists meet them. Ash quickly turns away when he recognizes the face. He’s the same one who did the tattoo for him. How else. Ash leaves Sing to deal with everything and stays outside next to the car.

“What’s going on, seriously?”

“I just don’t trust him, okay?” Ash shrugs, lying is easier than he thinks.

“We didn’t trust you either. But look where are you now.” Sing laughs, but then quickly shakes his head. “No, chill, we have this under control. You don’t want to be like Marion.”

“Hey, don’t compare me to that drama queen.” Ash frowns, crossing his arms on the chest.

“You see… it’s already starting.”

_For the love of…_

“Why you left him alone in the first place?? I’m going to check.”

“Great, I’ll have my smoke then, and I also need to call and deal with a few things.” Sing almost happily nods leaning against the car and taking out the pack of his cigs. Ash just waves for him and walks in.

Sing doesn’t have where to rush. He’ll go at least with two cigs and a few more after the phone call. But Ash still leaves the door to the studio a little bit open.

“What the hell, man?” he tries to stand still, but hands are still shivering a bit.

The tattoo artist lifts his eyes at Ash then stands up, mutter something that he’ll be back after five minutes. He leaves the room through another door in the back. He knows about the FBI, but he doesn’t want to be involved any further than he already is.

“What do you want me to say?” Shorter leans back in the seat, staring at the first lines of the tattoo on his wrist.

“The truth of course. Last time you almost stabbed him and now you’re licking his ass.” Ash didn’t know he’s keeping so much anger on Shorter, but he does and it’s mixed with concern.

“Ha. You’re the one to talk about ass licking.” He laughs, but eyes tell something else. Shorter wants to say it, but he’s afraid. Just like the last time.

“You disappeared without any sign for more than a month and I thought you were badly injured, but it seems you been working with Okumura behind my back all this time??” Ash comes closer, clenching fists. “I told you, to stay away. He’s my business. You betraying Lee and coming here is way too far.”

Shorter exhales and turns his head away from Ash. His shaved parts on the head grew back. He probably couldn’t care less about his hair in the Pit. Ash won’t lie, he didn’t much either, even now. He's been tying his hair into a small ponytail for a while now, so they wouldn’t fall all over the face.

“I’m glad you’re safe though,” Ash speaks again when Shorter doesn’t answer anything.

Ash is about to leave because the silence is getting more crushing but Shorter’s voice turns everything around.

“I talked with Max. I told him everything that’s happening to you, and they think you’re not handling this well. The FBI told me to switch sides and stay by your side. To make sure you do what you must do. Or you must go back.” Shorter pauses. “I’m sorry, Aslan. Me and Max… we’re worried about you… we don’t want you to end up like Griffin.”

Ash flinch. From information, his real name, or Griffin’s that he hasn’t heard in months or already years. _Shit. Babysitter? Fuck you, Max._

“What?” he mumbles. _This… all this act between Shorter and Eiji is only because of him?_

“Aslan…”

“Ash. It’s Ash.” He cuts. “I tell you one more time. Stay away from Eiji. Fuck off, Shorter.” Ash is shivering, that’s how he much wants Shorter’s face to kiss his fist.

Tattoo artist comes back just in time. It gives Ash a reason to leave without punching that empty head. He must think rationally and admit, but he can’t. He doesn’t want to believe the reasons why Shorter is here. For the first time in his life, Ash doesn’t want him to stay. And aching chest with conscience screeches him the reason – Shorter is right.

* * *

Since that day something changed, but Ash didn’t realize it until it was way too late. He blames himself for everything, for being blind for so long and admitting only when the shit was way too deep to be cleaned.

Whatever was happening between him and Eiji continued. But in a different direction than Ash expected. Sometimes he wondered if they are moving somewhere with this. Sometimes it didn’t matter if only it means that they'll stay together. Ash never slept in the same room overnight and didn’t dare to question Eiji’s privacy again. Despite that, a cruel and cold-hearted leader’s personality changed. Everyone in the clan who had contact with him noticed. Some said that it’s because of the plane crash, others were sure that it’s because he has Ash by his side. Ash himself didn’t know the answer. He wouldn’t call their connection relationship, but they were hooked up. Ash was able to tell that Eiji is not having any other partner currently, and it was enough. He drank like water in Sahara Eiji’s words, whenever he was in the mood to speak. Whatever he would give to Ash, he took and didn’t say a word to complain. Knowing him by small insignificant details was still better than staying blindfolded. They didn’t spend all time together, but there wasn’t a single day they wouldn’t meet. Was it sex, or just staying in the same room minding their own business – anything worked for Ash. He was able to learn more about Eiji this way – his habit to run through the hair with fingers while reading documents, him playing with the family ring on his finger or drinking too much green tea and pretending it’s cool. Ash watched him changing fancy outfits every day and was taking them off at nights, but still preferred Eiji with a cozy oversized sweater on Sundays or without clothes at all. Ash didn’t try to change anything, because he was afraid to step forward and open something he managed to seal with the stability. Ash had to ignore the annoying scratching inside the heart, shut down the questions with the deeper kiss on his lips, and swallow all insecurities with the touch. It wasn’t rational. It was based on lust, greed, and passion. It was convenient for both. Eiji had weak moments but would never fully open for Ash.

Ash lived in the same residence with him, in the other end of the building, and usually, his night's walk from Eiji’s room somehow ended up in the kitchen. First for a glass of water, later turned into light snacks. Because even though they been eating dinner together with Eiji, but Ash couldn’t stop questioning his taste for food, and never had enough to feel full. Already from the first time during his late kitchen visits, he was caught by the smallest devil in this house. Marion and Ash successfully ignored each other thinking it’s just a coincidence, but after the third time it was clear that they'll keep meeting here no matter what.

“Pass mane the butter,” Marion asks after few weeks of their awkward quiet interactions.

“Are you talking to me?” Ash asks with a full mouth.

“Do you see any other white ass I could be talking to?” she buzzes.

“Brat…” he throws the box at her, but Marion manages to catch it with a quick jump. Ash lets his head down hiding the smile.

Was it then when the ice finally broke? Soon after that, requests to pass food turned into small insignificant conversations. Of course, they still passionately teased each other outside the kitchen during the day, but that only made their secret night meetings funnier and more special. After the day when Marion talked with a boss, she seemed calmer, and differently more proud of herself than before. And Ash already thought it’s impossible. Night snacks let him discover one thing - he sometimes would forget because of her unbreakable character – Marion was just a girl. Delicate like everyone else but perfectly hiding from eyes that shouldn’t be seeing it. She also would come in without any makeup, messy hair, and a blank expression on her face like she just cried buckets. Ash kept words to himself because he thought that's what she needed.

“You know, Sing sucks. I hate him. Please just agree with me. I can’t stand him.” She complains, killing ger baguette with a glare.

“Yeah okay, but it’s not baguette’s fault.” Ash takes two glass from the shelf for the juice. “But why?”

“So… he assigned Wong to me. And that egg been following around me nonstop, telling he wants to help me and stuff. He’s annoying with that dumb smile on the face, his hairstyle sucks, he’s talking nonsense and he blocks the sun. I can’t believe he’s here already for more than a month. It drives me crazy.” Marion takes the cheese and stabs the knife in it, then deeply exhales. “Ash” she quickly lifts puppy eyes at him.

“No. No no no.” Ash shakes head holding back the laugh. “I don’t talk with him. I’m not going to.”

Ash would love to go and shake Shorter’s hand for what he’s doing because obviously, he’s not serious and just likes to tease girls. Ash knew Shorter will easily deal with someone like Marion, so it would be fun to watch. But he’s been avoiding that man as well. Hard to admit how easily Shorter was able to fill into their clan. He had a perfect relationship with all bodyguards and knew how to stay in his place, do only what he’s been asked. Either Sing or Shorter is playing with Marion and it’s fun. But Ash doesn’t want to interact with Shorter nor he wants to be a part of this game.

“Not with Wong! With Sing. You’re friends, right? Just talk like men…” she desperately jumps in one spot few times like a small ball, dangerously waving with the knife in her hand.

“You want me to punch him?”

Ash laughs imagining himself trying to reach Sing’s face, same as trying to jump to the top of Everest from the spot. As Marion’s face was already changing color Ash raised his hands in defense.

“Okay… but what I get from this?”

She freezes. That wasn’t in her plans.

“What… do you want?”

“Hmm… I’ll think about this, and I’ll tell you.” Ash decided not to waste this opportunity to have Marion in debt. “But what about you try answering him?”

“What?”

“Like talking with Wong and telling him to get off. I’m sure, you just been killing him with your glare but not doing a thing.” Ash shrugs suggesting her alternative, as he can’t wait to see Shorter going around limping when she punches him.

“Just pass me that fucking cup with the juice already.”

The next day Ash tries to talk with Sing, but only gets teased that he doesn’t have anything better to do. Ash was about to tell this to Marion, but she didn’t show in the kitchen like always, neither the day after or later. Ash had to admit that he already got used to her sticking around. It was too quiet, without her complaints.

They keep moving back and forth between New York and Osaka. Marion seemed to stay in one place busy with some stuff. The next time Ash sees her is only weeks later during the meeting in Japanese residence. She’s wearing a white crop top and the jacket. She pretends not to see Ash, but he few times feels her tense staring. For Ash’s surprise, Shorter is also in the meeting, standing next to Sing. He fixed his mohawk and dyed it in purple, just like before they entered the clan.

“You’re late.” Eiji turns head when Ash sits next to him.

“Sorry, I had trouble with some deals,” Ash answers as neutral as possible.

“Is it done?” Eiji’s hand appears on Ash’s knee.

“Yes. I’ll hand in a report today in the evening.”

_Report. Sure. Report. Before or after?_

Eiji nods pressing Ash’s knee between his fingers harder and then looks at Ibe and Marion.

“Blanca won’t join us this time, because there is no time. But tomorrow we’ll hold an event in the city. A small ball. Special guests, including potential clients, were invited.” Ibe starts talking after Eiji’s nod.

“Finally!” Marion raises her hands. “I’ll be able to wear my red dress! We didn’t have any events in forever.” She heavenly smiles and Ash hears someone quietly giggling behind.

_What the hell, Shorter?_

No one else seems to notice it.

“But wait, isn’t this too dangerous? And only gives Arthur a reason to attack again?” Marion’s mood drops down suddenly, her eyes go between Ibe and Eiji.

“Exactly…” Ibe continues after clearing his throat. “That’s the point, we also invited some guests for China… that’s why, Marion, I personally think you shouldn’t go. It might get dangerous.”

She sniggers like the idea would be absurd.

“Nonsense, I never skipped the event and I’m not doing this now.”

“I think, sir is right, it’s not safe.”

All of them this time turn at Shorter like one and he gets so much pressure that it that he shrinks.

“What?” she groans at him.

“I think…”

“_Putain! _Shut your mouth. My safety is not your problem, Wong! Boss, I’m going. That’s it.”

She stands and walks from the room even if the meeting hasn't officially ended. Odd. Marion would always stay until the very end. Shorter must have done his best to annoy her until the last cell.

After she leaves deadly silence lasts for a few moments.

“Eiji, how about lunch together?” Ibe stands up, Eiji after a short glance at Ash also.

_So that’s it? Woman of the house got pouty and the meeting is over?_

Ash stays in the room alone, or at least he thinks so until a chair next to him moves back and Shorter falls on it.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?” Ash is not even looking at his side. “Why are you talking with me?”

“I was wrong. About everything. I admit.” He continues and after his words, Ash doesn’t hold back. He turns at Shorter but doesn’t say reply. “Maybe I shouldn’t have made concussion, before seeing everything with my own eyes.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ash wants to sound rude as possible, but as finally after so long his and Shorter’s eyes meet, he understands how much he missed his best friend. His purple mohawk and pierced eyebrow bring back memories about their silly life before this mess.

“I really need to talk about this…” Shorter sighs, when he still doesn’t get Ash’s attention. “Shit, Aslan… I can’t stop thinking about her. I swear, I tried.”

“About who??” Ash was about to warn Shorter to think before saying the real name, but the moment after all other thoughts are gone. “Oh… fuck….” He slowly turns at Shorter. “Marion.” The answer is so obvious that he feels dumb for asking. “Stop following her then.”

“It might be a bit too late…” Shorter clears his thoughts.

“What did you do?” Ash blinks, Shorter lets his head down like a lost puppy. Guilty. “Oh… you did not… kiss her…?” Shorter is still quiet. “You slept with her?? Are you out of your freaking mind, man??”

“I don’t know what to do… I can’t stop myself… she was always ignoring me as she did in the past, so I thought I’m going to be fine. But… but then one day she started talking with me and… it’s just happened. You know…”

_It’s his fault. It’s Ash’s fault. He told Marion to talk with Shorter._

“What past?? What are you talking about Shorter? How serious it is??”

“It’s not serious at all! She hates me! It’s completely based on physical things.” Shorter waves with hands too suddenly completely ignoring the first question. “It’s just we… fuck and…”

“Don’t say that word! Shit.” Ash punches him in the shoulder and Shorter sadly smiles. “End this, okay? She'll not like you, and you don’t want this either. Shorter, please.”

Shorter leans forward and his head bumps into Ash’s shoulder.

“It just seems that the world is slipping under my feet when I’m around her… it didn’t change. Even after all these years.” He mumbles, deeply sighing, but Ash doesn’t move to comfort him. Shorter doesn’t need to be comforted. He needs to come back to his senses before it’s too late. Ash hopes it still isn’t.

“What past, Shorter? You met her barely a few months ago.”

“I grew up in Chinatown, Ash… and Boss had a gang when he was around seventeen in the same area. She was a part of it. I know them both since then.”

Ash’s muscles suddenly get stiff. _Gang? Is it the same street gang that Sing once mentioned? How come Ash never heard anything about it? Why no one from the FBI told about this? Why did Shorter mention only now? The fact that he knows Okumura Eiji for years??_

Shorter flinch and leans back gripping Ash’s shoulder, realizing that he said too much.

“Shit… sorry. I promised Max not to tell you anything… fuck.” He makes a pause. “Listen…”

Before Shorter says something else, Ash stands up and goes towards the door.

“End things with Marion. You don’t want to hurt yourself and her when the time comes to leave, do you?”

Ash on purpose steps on the open wound of his as well. He tried to avoid thinking about this as much as possible, but this time it's for Shorter. So, he wouldn’t end up in the same mess.

Ash can’t forget about their talk for hours. About the fact that he’s the only one who doesn’t know anything. Ash at least thought he knows the same information as FBI, but it seems he was wrong about it as well. He could end things between Shorter and Marion fast. If he told Eiji, he would send Shorter back to his place. But that also means risking Shorter’s life. Ash just wants to believe that Shorter will listen. After all, he was the one who blamed him for being Eiji's _slut_. Does Shorter want to become one for Marion?

For the rest of the day, Ash tries to work participating in other meetings, but the head feels dull. He keeps asking questions himself, that he thought he doesn’t need to know answers to. Who he’s to Eiji? Who they are? And if it’s something more, can he let himself go into it? And… _if it’s something more_, why Ash is being treated like a child?

In the evening Ash finds Eiji in the training room, only in his sports trousers, half-naked doing push-ups. Ash stares like an idiot at Eiji’s sweaty naked back, covered in that thirsty making piece of art. Ash is not sure if it's his imagination, or he can really see hot liquid running down sharp lines and craving the path through muscles. Bright colors blind him and Ash finds himself going there, straddling him and licking it all over. What he would give to lick Eiji’s body. But the man never allows turning his back Ash too long. They have sex. They kiss. But Ash wants to adore his body… all of it. _Deep mess. He’s in a deep mess._

“Report?” Eiji jumps back on his feet easily. Surely, he heard doors opening.

“Yeah.” Ash lies because his hands are empty.

“Oh?” Eiji moves his moist hair back from the forehead and watches Ash coming closer.

The blond man, on his way, drops down the jacket but leaves the white t-shirt on. Eiji’s follows him with the grin.

“You want me to teach you a few moves?” he wonders and Ash shrugs. He might be better.

Ash is sure it will take a long time before someone of them is down on the floor, but it takes around ten seconds or even less. He’s quick. He’s so fast and one hundred percent accurate, not a single unnecessary move. Ash thought he can avoid his hand, but he uses both, and Ash gets a punch in the stomach, then Eiji grabs on his hair, tilts head back and knocking him over on the back with the kick in the knees.

Ash sighs lying on the floor, looking at the man straddling him with a calm expression. The blond man reaches Eiji’s chest with fingers, but before he can feel that slippery but inviting skin, Eiji grabs on Ash’s wrist and pins his hand above the head.

“I used to fight with five like you at the same time…” Eiji licks lower lip – another sexy habit of his.

“Where? In the gang? That street gang you were in with Marion?” Ash doesn’t know what gets into him, it just slips from his mouth. He’s been thinking about this too much today.

“You seem to know a lot,” Eiji answers already without any expression, his voice becomes sharper.

“I don’t know anything… just who exactly….”

Eiji shuts him up with the palm, holds it firmly for a few moments, then fingers slide down through Ash’s chin and neck, pulls down his t-shirt a bit until one shoulder is naked. There’s the scar he left on their first meeting. From the bullet. Ash close eyes, as Eiji is touching it with fingers like it’s another part of Ash's body. Rubbing slowly, then pressing thumb hard against the skin. Ash opens eyes only when he feels something else. Eiji is leaned down licking it, tongue hard pushed to the white mark made by his hands.

“You want me? Earn it.” He speaks not moving mouth and his burning heat away.

Eiji’s other hand is still gripping Ash's wrist. The tattoo is twitching as if Eiji’s words go all the way from the shoulder until there. Ash deeply breaths in clenching his fist hard until it hurts just like the chest. He doesn’t speak a word again, but that night leaves without being asked and goes straight to his bedroom without stopping at the kitchen.

Ash sits next to Eiji at the end of the hall on the couch and low round glass table. Sing and Shorter with other guards behind them. Ibe is also with here at first, but he went to talk with guests. Everyone is way too rich. Their outfits were probably more expensive than this event itself. Marion would be pleased, but she is not here yet. Eiji is wearing a black costume with a bloody red necktie and looks in the place where he belongs. Among people like him. Powerful. Absolute divine. 

Only staying here is somehow suffocating. And Ash is not the only one who feels the same. Shorter been cleaning his throat with soft cough way too much. 

Ash watches at the bar and all those expensive suits and sparkling dresses. Talks around are quiet and they perfectly merge with the live classical music on the stage on their left. If Ash looks to the right, he sees blinding lights of Osaka from above. He wants to enjoy this at least a bit, but this is not what they came for. Ash's whole body is tense, like waiting for the attack to come any second. And when suddenly Shorter quietly gasps, Ash is sure something has happened. He quickly moves his head, even before Eiji does. All the senses are now on needles. 

It’s a danger. She’s glowing from the back of the room. She’s wearing a rich cherry-red dress, from unearthly fabulous fabric, long and loose. Just like her naked shoulders, arms, and back the material was slightly sparkling. Marion on her unbelievable high heels is walking lightly as an acrobat. As she moves, it seems that wind is running through her loosen hair, framing smoothly done makeup which almost disappears as eyes catch puffy red lips. Even Ash has to admit that she looks breathtaking, and none of them tries to hide that. Marion knows how to surprise people as always. But today she surpassed herself.

“Good evening.” Shorter sighs loudly.

_“Bonsoir.”_ She drops back coldly. Ash tries to stop the incoming laugh, he’s sure, Sing also might dealing with the same problem.

Marion walks through all of them like they mean nothing, and obviously, in front of her, they don't. She walks around the table gracefully as a dancer and then sits down on the other side of Eiji. Now Ash understands why Eiji’s necktie is red. It perfectly matches her dress. Marion looks at Eiji and only at him with a soft smile. He leans in, places one hand on her shoulder, pushes his lips to her ear. Ash sees them moving, but he can’t hear what he’s saying. Marion is still smiling, softly holding on his side, then she moves eyes up. And this time Shorter not just half groans half gasps, he also grabs on Ash's shoulder from behind.

_Man. Calm down._

“Can you stop?” Sing hisses at Shorter and Ash never felt this thankful for him before.

They’re sitting here for some time longer, meeting guests and acting cool, until Ash physically can't handle the suspense any longer. Marion is drinking cocktails and staring at Shorter with the same eyes as before, and since he’s standing just behind Ash, the blond man is the one who’s getting the cold chills.

“Where?” Eiji moves eyes from the musicians of the stage, but Ash knows he wasn’t listening.

“To the restroom.” He doesn’t need to go, but he wants to get out for a bit.

“Use the staff one, there won’t be any lines.” Sing drops as Ash pass through him. Sing wants him to come back as soon as possible, for the same reasons.

Ash enters the hallway, it’s darker than he suspected. He’s searching for the switch on the wall but almost falls when someone gets in his way. Ash swears and quickly takes out his phone, to light the way. It’s a body. Ash is sure he saw this man serving drinks just ten minutes ago. Light reaches a bit further and he sees another one. _How many were replaced?_

Ash turns around and runs.

“Shorter!!” for some stupid reason his name comes to the headfirst, and of course his best friend reacts.

First, Ash feels someone’s hand on his mouth and then dragging back into the dark. Only then hears shooting and familiar screams. Ash doesn’t have time to deal with whoever this is, but the disgusting feeling it’s somehow not new. He punches him with an elbow right into the stomach, then grabs on his other hand to drag him forward. He’s nothing compared to Eiji. A mess.

“Arthur…” Ash hisses. He doesn’t have a gun, and pretty much is sure that Arthur does.

“Lynx, I thought I saw familiar shitty looking idiot.” Ash sees how he lifts hands a bit, like saying he didn’t come here with trouble. Screams in the other room say different. “Actually, I might have come to you with a suggestion. You hate him as much as I do. How about joining my side, before it’s too late?” He speaks with his disgusting sticky voice. Ash doesn’t have time to deal with this idiot.

“For Eiji… for Boss. I could and I’ll rip you apart, Arthur.” Ash knows he must end this fast.

“Sad. Lee was wrong about you… sadly there is no brain left in your head. Maybe there never was!” he laughs jumping in and then Ash is knocked down, pushed to the wall, with the gun pressed against his head. “One more chance.” He seems almost desperate, even though he tries to hide it.

“Fuck---”

They both suddenly are blown down to the floor by an explosion just next to the hallway. The loud sound deafened so badly, that Ash thinks he lost everything, his mind, vision, and control of the body. He’s shaking, and it takes at least a few moments or maybe hours to come back to his senses. Arthur is crawling away groaning, but Ash doesn’t have time chase after that traitor. _Eiji._ He does the same only the other side until he’s in the empty hall. Almost empty.

Gunshots and explosion made everyone disappear. Not all of them were so lucky. On which side they were it doesn’t matter anyone, since now they turned into nothing more than dead bodies.

“Ash!” Sing sees him crawling from the hallway and runs towards, he doesn’t seem hurt. 

“Arthur…. He was in the hallway with me when something exploded.” Ash mutters trying to get up. 

“Shit!” Sing quickly calls someone and as he is talking, Ash slowly swings towards others. They exploded the corner where musicians were preforming, hopefully, it doesn’t seem that someone was there.

Eiji is not to be seen It's just Marion kneeling on the ground, with her lost cool image and ripped dress, hitting bleeding Shorter with both of her fists.

“I didn’t ask for you to defend me! You, shitty egg! I hate you. I hate you so much. _Putain. Putain. Putain._” She mutters and mutters nonstop.

“Is he badly hurt?” Ash asks about him and not about Eiji, because if something happened to him, surely Marion wouldn’t be here.

“I hope so. I hope he bleeds to death. Because that’s what he fucking deserves!” she slaps his unconscious face twice and Ash doesn’t want to admit but he sees tears in her eyes.

“I’m no doctor, but I don’t think that this therapy is best for him right now.” Sing appears next to them. “Our men are coming soon. They will help to bring him to doctor Meredith.”

“I don’t care!” Marion tries to stand up, but she fails, cause one of her heels is broken. “When he wakes up, tell him I don’t want to see his fucking face ever again. Clear? Don’t touch me.” She knocks Sing’s hand away, when he tries to help, takes off her shoes, and goes towards the exit.

“The queen is coming, get her home.” Sing mutters into his sleeve, then glances at Ash, who kneels next to Shorter, trying to see how bad the wound is. He’ll survive. Luckily that Marion is so short. “Why did you fail to get Arthur?”

“Why don’t you give me a fucking gun already??” Ash can’t hold it anymore. They knew what will happen here. They knew that people will get injured and die and still got stick to their stupid pride that only high-rank members, team leaders, and bodyguards can have guns. 

_How did this turn? Shitty!_

“Where is Eiji?” Ash asks finally because it doesn’t seem like Sing will tell.

“They are on the way back home with Ibe already. The only one who escaped is Arthur… I told guys, and they try to go after him right now. Maybe we're lucky today.”

Surely Sing tries to step on Ash's sense of guilt, and he succeeds pretty well. Ash sits down on the floor and covers the face. 

_Shit._

Ash doesn’t wait until Shorter wakes up, it’s enough for him to hear from the doctor that they have the situation under control. Sing is still in the building where everything happened, cleaning up the mess and trying to make sure to mislead the police. He said he doesn’t trust anyone in this situation, he must do everything himself. All others are blocking every way from the city, just to make sure that Arthur won’t escape. One of the guards drives Ash back to the residence.

The man without thinking goes towards the stairs leading to the second floor, but before that music catches his ears. The sound is clear, but somehow almost painfully clear. Ash is sure that it’s one of Eiji’s vinyl. Ash follows the sound almost unconsciously. The door is open wide, no one is hiding.

Ash has passed through this room several times but never went inside. There is nothing here, only and pitch-black grand piano. And the sound is coming from it. The cover is lifted, creating an echo, reaching every cover of this empty a bit scary residence, once you step in. Without giving any chance to escape. Not mention the person, who is playing.

His hands slide through piano keys so lightly as if he was touching the clouds or water. Every one of those sounds, painfully beautiful, make air shimmer, spreading something else, something so bright that Ash never thought he’ll see in him. Not in Eiji. Ash didn’t even have a clue that he can play the piano._ But of course, he does. How else. _The music stings and craves into Ash soul, he’s moving close dragged by the force, nothing can hold him back from reaching. Eiji's face also becomes clearer. His suffering. Suffering on purpose with the agony on his beautiful lips, eyes focused but he doesn’t see.

“Eiji…” Ash mutters and then the music stops.

His hands fall heavily and the silence pressures Ash to the ground like a rock. He can’t breathe, he can’t walk further. He’s paralyzed.

“She could have died today. Foxx aimed right into her heart… and I didn’t notice. If I ever lose her… I can’t lose her…” He speaks quietly with an empty face and fear inside his shivering confession.

“But she didn’t… and Foxx is dead. I saw him. Sho—”

“She could have died, because I, for the first time in my life, missed signs. I missed signs because I was thinking of you.” He lifts eyes and Ash notices something he hasn’t seen in months – hate. Burning desire to rip Ash into pieces. “Why??” he raises his voice, but Ash doesn’t know what to answer. He doesn’t have any idea because he feels the same.

“I---"

“I always hated playing the piano. I hate doing what he wanted me to do.” 

Eiji looks back at the white keys and suddenly smashes them, so hard that the entire place drowns in a shriek. The sound is horrifying, but Ash still doesn’t even flinch.

“Maybe he was right… maybe he _is_ right.” Eiji continues talking after the last ruins of the screaming echo disappears. “I shouldn’t….”

“Eiji.” 

Ash grabs his hands before he hurt himself without realizing it. Ash steps forward in front of him, without saying any other word. Burns, but at the same time feels good. Ash doesn’t understand which is real. 

Eiji pushes him down, and Ash sits on the keys, making another bunch of unequal sounds, but this time much softer. He lets Eiji’s hands go and the man loosens his red necktie. Ash without any orders gives his hand in front, wrist pressed next to each other. Eiji ties him hard, almost until the point where Ash can’t feel his hands anymore. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, because finally, Eiji honest.

“You already blinded me…” Ash sighs when the man stars opening his shirt, ripping the buttons without any mercy.

“You'll ruin everything. I know. I feel it. I see what you’re doing. You think I might be different, but I don’t want it to change. You think you’re starting to understand me, but you don’t even realize how far away you’re from the truth. I want you to leave. I want you to be gone.” Eiji stands up, pressing Ash’s chained wrist down, another hand locking Ash's chin hard between fingers. “And I can’t let you go. I can’t.” he grips Ash’s skin so hard, that Ash can barely concentrate from pain. “Why?”

“I…. I been asking myself the same…” Ash painfully exhales, trying to think of any words, even though the head seems empty. “I… think… the same… I can’t keep myself away from you, even if I had to from the start… maybe it’s…” Ash groans, closing eyes, and tilting head back.

“What? Fate? Or some other similar shit?” 

Eiji let’s go of Ash’s chin but places the hand on his naked chest. This time softly. Such range. He lets the heartbeat run through fingers. Ash hears his heart responding fast. Too fast. _He’ll understand. He already does._

“I own you.” He states.

“Yes.”

“You’re mine. Everything from your body to your soul.”

“Yes.”

“Then why?! Why I feel like I can’t tame you! Why I can’t control you…” he’s desperate. Ash feels it. Eiji has been thinking about it for days. Maybe even longer than Ash.

“Who I’m to you? Who we’re to each other? Who I’m in this whole chess game of yours?” Ash mumbles almost with no pauses, making it sound like the last questions that he needs to hear the answer to.

“Pawn.”

Eiji doesn’t even wait for a second before answering. Ash wants to laugh from this absurd truth. _Finally, Eiji is not hiding anything._

“You were supposed to be nothing more than a pawn, who I could sacrifice without thinking twice.” Eiji leans back and then Ash feels it. The cold steel and his hands. A gun. Eiji gave him the gun. Ash can’t take it properly now, but he’s certainly holding it.

“You know what gun this is?” Eiji’s voice melts on Ash’s skin, just next to the ear. Just like his eyes before, it’s burning all the way to the chest. “My father was killed with it… I killed my father’s murderer after.” 

Maybe he’s oversharing. Maybe Ash wasn’t ready to hear that much. Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t know what’s coming next, but the room is spinning. Head heavy, lungs feel like full of water. _He’s drowning. _Ash can’t bring himself to speak. Eiji grabs Ash’s face in his palms, pushing him down until Ash slides down from the piano and kneels on the ground. He kneels between Eiji’s legs as the man sits down again.

“I need the white King to win. Plans are changing… if I can’t tame you, then… I can only hold you close.”

_Hold friends close. Enemies even closer._

“You’ll play the role as second in command. And you’ll stand next to me, without a fail. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Ash pins his head to Eiji’s thigh. It’s heavy to hold. It’s spinning now so quickly, but it’s changed. The inner flow. Now it’s powerful. It feels great. It feels like Ash finally moved, stepped in, what he came for. 

“I want more… what I want is you, Eiji. I want to earn it.”

Ash wants it to be Fate. No matter how bad it sounds. But him going all the way from the Pit and now standing next to Boss as his right hand. Isn’t this the strongest proof? 

They’re eyes meet, and Ash swears he sees a reflection in that darkest night of his. Eiji is so lonely and afraid. Ash reads it. He reads it as an open book as finally, the man is not hiding it anymore. For the first time, Ash moves up first and he catches Eiji’s lips in surprise. He grips the gun between fingers stronger. He’ll hold on this, but they… they don’t need to be harsh anymore. There’s no need.

“Ash, stay with me tonight.”

Eiji gives up dropping his last mask. He needs Ash, as much as Ash needs him. _And what’s the word again?_

It’s a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As chapter 5 was more based on feelings, this chapter was focused on action and some explanations! To keep the right balance, chapter 7 will be concentrated mostly on relationships. A lot of sexy times too!  
Also, as I'm planning, for now, chapter 7 will be different, as it will be told from different POV: Ash's, Shorter's, Marion's, and Sing's.  
(Chapter 8 fully belongs to Eiji's POV)  
Also the next chapter I'll upload a new Okumura clan scheme!
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you have any questions or want to talk don't be afraid to reach me on social media! I'm mostly active on twitter!

**Author's Note:**

> THE SCHEME OF OKUMURA CLAN.  

> 
> Twitter: [Vitavili](https://twitter.com/Vitavilii) (I post a lot of spoilers and WIP here)  
Yakuza Eiji playlist on Spotify: [[click here]](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/19NtSBpTxZqSNvdgQIr5S2?si=V_XCYAh1RMWEKGe0m3cIqg)  
Curious Cat: [Vitavilii](https://curiouscat.me/Vitavili)  



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